#203
“I’m not joking either.”
“…”
Somehow knowing what words Yoon Pa-ran had swallowed, Dan Joo-hyuk added seriously.
His voice today was unusually low, rolling along the floor. When Yoon Pa-ran regained his senses, he found his back against the wall. He must have unconsciously backed away.
The place arranged by the government official was a space behind the nuclear power plant’s wall. Amusingly, it was well furnished with a parasol, portable chairs, and a table.
The consideration to ensure privacy from others’ eyes now felt excessively uncomfortable.
In the distance, shouts from workers installing a statue could be faintly heard. After his gaze fell on Dan Joo-hyuk’s broad chest blocking his path, Yoon Pa-ran hurriedly looked at the ground.
If he’s not joking… then what does this mean?
“I’m curious about something.”
“…What is it?”
Amid the extreme confusion, Dan Joo-hyuk took another half-step closer, slightly tilting his head as he asked.
Watching that handsome face approach, Yoon Pa-ran tensed up. Though this proximity was familiar, he couldn’t understand why he was suddenly so conscious of it.
“Will you answer me?”
“…”
Answer?
At the unexpected question, his mind cleared as if Dan Joo-hyuk’s halo had transferred to him. Come to think of it, did he need to respond? Since he’d received a confession?
…What kind of answer?
His heart pounded. Unable to overcome his confusion, Yoon Pa-ran finally lowered his eyebrows awkwardly.
The question that had been swirling in his mind for the past two days spilled out:
“I don’t understand… why you’re suddenly like this.”
“Does it really seem sudden? …It feels like it’s been quite a while to me.”
Dan Joo-hyuk murmured softly as he slowly reached out his hand. Yoon Pa-ran watched that hand approaching him, holding his breath.
Soon those elegant fingers tapped one of his earlobes. As if Dan Joo-hyuk had used a special skill, the touched spot became incredibly hot.
It was a gesture from Dan Joo-hyuk that Yoon Pa-ran usually dismissed. Actions he had ignored at some point, thinking Dan was simply someone who liked physical contact with people.
“…”
But now he couldn’t ignore it.
Yoon Pa-ran forcibly held back the dry swallow rising in his throat. As if that were some trigger, he blurted out the question that most confused him:
“But you said it was just adults enjoying themselves.”
“…I thought so too.”
Strangely, he felt somewhat aggrieved. Hadn’t it been Dan Joo-hyuk who said from the beginning that unnecessary thoughts could be simply cut off?
Thanks to that, he’d been comfortable without having to think too much until now. But now Dan Joo-hyuk was trying to shatter all the premises Yoon Pa-ran had held.
While Yoon Pa-ran’s lips moved without words due to his poor eloquence, Dan Joo-hyuk used the hand that had tapped his earlobe to fully cup one of his cheeks.
At this action, even slower than usual, Yoon Pa-ran felt goosebumps prickling along his spine. The warmth that started from his ear spread to his nape like fire across a field.
“But I keep wanting to touch you, to be close to you.”
“…”
As if about to kiss him, Dan Joo-hyuk approached gradually and murmured:
“…I want to be with you all the time.”
The final words were so quiet they barely reached Yoon Pa-ran’s ears.
That was certainly true, yet strangely, those words thundered in his ears. Perhaps it was due to his own heartbeat.
This unfamiliar feeling was strange and uncomfortable. Just as Yoon Pa-ran was about to instinctively push Dan Joo-hyuk away—
“Well, I understand if it feels sudden to you.”
Dan Joo-hyuk was the first to withdraw, smoothly creating distance.
Unlike his calm approach earlier, it was a rather crisp movement. As if the sticky atmosphere that had enveloped Yoon Pa-ran until now had been a complete illusion.
Though things had gone as intended, Yoon Pa-ran felt oddly empty.
“Yoon Pa-ran-ssi is particularly dense when it comes to these matters.”
“…”
The words, spoken while playfully tapping his cheek again, somehow carried a sigh. That voice, lightly scraping along the floor, sent shivers down his spine today.
For no reason, Yoon Pa-ran rubbed the spot where Dan Joo-hyuk’s hand had touched. Approaching as he pleased, then retreating as he pleased—typical Dan Joo-hyuk behavior.
Just then, the voice of a government official calling him could be heard from a distance.
“Hunter Yoon Pa-ran? Everything is prepared…!”
“You should go.”
Dan Joo-hyuk gave an inscrutable smile before stepping back further.
Staring at him, Yoon Pa-ran soon began trudging forward.
“…”
Though his destination was clear, he felt lost, not knowing what to do or how.
❖ ❖ ❖
On the way back after setting up the safe zone, a terrible silence filled the car.
“…”
The nuclear power plant was quite far from where they lived. Because of this, the time spent alone with Dan Joo-hyuk in the car was long.
For the first time in a long while, Yoon Pa-ran felt extremely uncomfortable sitting in this passenger seat. Except for the first few times, he had frequently sat beside Dan Joo-hyuk, but now it felt oddly novel.
Is this situation really worth feeling that way…?
He could barely remember what state of mind he’d been in when opening the safe zone in front of the power plant. It was ambiguous whether he should be grateful that his skill activated properly despite his distracted state.
Yoon Pa-ran quickly glanced at Dan Joo-hyuk’s profile as he drove. Though he tried not to look, it was useless. When he came to his senses, he found himself watching Dan Joo-hyuk’s side profile without realizing it.
After repeating this foolish act several times, he even wished some conversation would start. However, Dan Joo-hyuk seemed unusually oblivious to these glances today.
This, too, was uncharacteristically obtuse for Dan Joo-hyuk. Noticing this change, Yoon Pa-ran’s words caught in his throat again.
Would it have been better to say he’d go home by himself? It was a moment when he desperately wished for the security vehicle that had previously felt uncomfortable.
Should he just ask outright again? But what if Dan Joo-hyuk demanded an immediate answer?
“We’ve arrived.”
Fortunately, before Yoon Pa-ran could suffocate in the silence, the car reached the orphanage.
“Oh, yeah…”
Yoon Pa-ran, who had been pondering Dan Joo-hyuk’s words, belatedly raised his head.
Realizing they had arrived at the orphanage, his hands became strangely hurried as he unfastened his seatbelt. Despite his high rank, he fumbled several times with the simple task of unfastening the belt.
Finally free from the belt, Yoon Pa-ran quickly grabbed the door handle.
At that moment, a hand from beside him yanked him.
“Unh…!”
Despite being extremely tense, his body was helplessly pulled. He deliberately released the strength from his arm that reflexively wanted to attack.
Simultaneously, with an embarrassing “chu” sound, a hot sensation touched his cheek.
“You…!”
Startled, Yoon Pa-ran turned to the side and immediately regretted it.
Dan Joo-hyuk’s smiling face was right in front of him.
“Think about it carefully, okay?”
He whispered softly into Yoon Pa-ran’s ear without showing any discomfort, as if making a sincere request.
It made his ear canal feel stuffy, as if coated with honey.
As soon as he felt Dan Joo-hyuk release him, Yoon Pa-ran reflexively scrambled out of the car.
However, once outside, he felt distinctly unpleasant, as if he had just fled from the situation.
“Go inside.”
Dan Joo-hyuk leaned against the steering wheel, blankly looking up at Yoon Pa-ran who stood outside the passenger door. Yoon Pa-ran’s gaze wavered as Dan Joo-hyuk’s hand waved gently.
“…I’m going.”
Yoon Pa-ran, who had been about to argue further, promptly turned away. He desperately wanted to clear his head first.
Though he didn’t want to admit it, he felt like he just wanted to escape.
“…”
As soon as Yoon Pa-ran turned away, Dan Joo-hyuk’s expression hardened. It was a chillingly instantaneous change.
His gaze didn’t leave Yoon Pa-ran’s retreating figure as he walked away like a malfunctioning doll.
Nervously tapping the steering wheel, Dan Joo-hyuk only dropped his head onto his arm after Yoon Pa-ran completely disappeared from view.
Only then did the long sigh he had been suppressing escape from his lungs.
“Hah…”
Though he had desperately pretended to be composed all day, in truth, Dan Joo-hyuk was on the verge of losing his mind.
“Damn it.”
Perhaps the feelings he held were heavier than he’d thought. As time passed, he increasingly regretted his confession that had slipped out as if pushed.
He couldn’t predict what repercussions his hasty decision would bring.
Every time Yoon Pa-ran glanced at him awkwardly, layers of regret accumulated in his chest. Those heavy layers soon pressed on his lungs, making even breathing difficult.
After restraining himself a hundred times, when he finally reached out to touch Yoon Pa-ran’s cheek, Yoon Pa-ran would flinch sensitively and watch him cautiously. As if he might run away.
Each time, the back of Dan Joo-hyuk’s eyes repeatedly darkened.
“…”
He should have spoken after treating him better, when Yoon Pa-ran couldn’t refuse.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
