I flinched and stepped back, but he wiped my tears away with his thumb. That touch felt very warm. When I slowly lifted my eyes, he smiled. Unlike me, he looked very happy. Especially the way he looked at me was vivid.
“I was really a trash person.”
Even as he said that, Cedric looked happy. It was as if by admitting it, he proved he had the right to exist.
I was speechless at Cedric’s attitude. As I just stared blankly, Cedric looked at me and spoke slowly.
“I only thought of myself without understanding your feelings properly.”
“……”
“I thought I did my best for you. But I didn’t.”
“No, at that time, at least…”
“You said you didn’t like that time.”
“……”
“Then why do you pretend it’s okay?”
His voice sounded unusually cold. It felt like he could completely see through my heart. I lowered my head, unable to look at him.
“You’re still not okay now.”
My heart stung. Then Cedric brushed my hair back and kissed my cheek. It was so soft and warm. It felt like all the anger in my heart was melting away.
That made me even angrier. Whenever he treated me a little better, my heart instinctively responded as if it had been waiting for it. I clenched both hands tightly and spoke with determination.
“I don’t want to be hurt by you anymore. That’s why I said I want to leave you. Because when I’m next to you, only the old wounds come back.”
Cedric’s actions of controlling my body without permission, the cold words he said to me—they still lingered in my mind. Honestly, I was afraid of Cedric. I couldn’t tell if everything he did to me was really love.
He looked at me silently. Since the words were already out, I spoke what I had kept inside.
“Honestly, now that I think about it, I don’t think we suit each other. You found me frustrating, and I couldn’t explain everything to you.”
“Revril.”
When I looked up, he stared at me intensely. He raised the corner of his mouth and calmly said,
“Why do you keep saying useless things?”
His voice was very low and cold. I frowned, not understanding him, and he lowered his head. His breath came close quickly, and I stepped back, my back touching the chair. Cedric didn’t care and leaned closer, staring at me intently.
His leg touched my thigh, his strong arm blocked me like a tie. His bright blue eyes looked at me as if he wanted me. I looked at him as if hypnotized.
Cedric didn’t look away and said slowly,
“Still, you thought of me.”
I barely breathed, and Cedric tilted his head slightly and said,
“Isn’t one word enough—‘I love you’?”
Hearing the word love, tears nearly came out, but I held them back. I said sharply,
“I don’t think of you like that now.”
Cedric snorted and leaned down. His breath hit me quickly.
“Do you really have no feelings for me?”
His words tickled my ear, especially since his lips were so close that a small move could make them touch. And all the skin that touched his body remembered his heat. I tried to struggle, but his breath overwhelmed me, and my body didn’t move easily. I wanted to say something and step away, but I was barely breathing.
Then a rough crying voice sounded. When I tried to get up, Cedric stepped back. As I stood quickly from the chair, Cedric grabbed my wrist. I looked down in surprise, and he stood up, saying,
“I’ll go.”
With that, he let go of my wrist and went into the room. I sat down weakly, looking at his back. The breath I had shared with him seemed to have drained all my strength, and my head was fuzzy.
After a while, the door opened, and Cedric came out holding Vincent. Vincent saw me and stretched out his arms.
When I came closer, Cedric slightly turned his body and said to Vincent,
“Didn’t mommy say Vincent doesn’t have any strength?”
Vincent pouted and turned his head, leaning more on Cedric. I felt uneasy and said to Cedric,
“He still has enough strength to be held.”
“You can’t have strength if you don’t eat properly. And I know better than anyone that you have no stamina.”
His words immediately made my face flush red. I couldn’t say a word. Then someone knocked on the door. Cedric came to my side and briefly explained,
“I called the coachman. Both Vincent and you need to sleep.”
I subconsciously asked,
“And you?”
Cedric didn’t answer right away but looked at me. His gaze was so deep that I quickly looked away.
“I have work.”
Then the door knocked again. Cedric, holding Vincent, opened the door. I heard the coachman greet us. Cedric looked back at me.
“Revril, we’re going by carriage.”
The coachman greeted me and stepped aside. The advisor was also standing next to the coachman. When our eyes met, he greeted me kindly and led me to the carriage.
The carriage was already waiting outside. Cedric put Vincent inside. Vincent fussed a little but rubbed his eyes and sat on the cushion. When I got in, the carriage started moving.
Outside the window, the advisor was talking seriously to Cedric. It really seemed like he had made time just for Vincent.
I woke up in the morning and habitually looked to my side. Cedric was not there. I stared at the wide bed for a moment, then the sound of knocking on the door woke me up, and I opened my mouth.
“Come in.”
The maid quickly opened the door and came inside. She greeted me brightly and put a letter on the table.
“Ma’am, letters have arrived.”
Hearing the word “letters,” I immediately got out of bed and walked to the table. There were many envelopes, but I quickly sifted through them. Then I saw familiar handwriting.
[In front of the temple, 21-6 Yurhen Street, Kellabird]
The sender was Chartine. As I focused on the letter, the maid bowed and left the room. I didn’t hesitate and opened the envelope.
[To Lady Revril,
How have you been?
I was very happy to get a letter from the Duke of Jedburgh! Until now, I tried to send letters, but the big flood here stopped them. But Jedburgh helped fix it quickly, so things are going well now.
Recently, donations to the temple have come in, and things are getting lively. The priests won’t say exactly who gave the donations, but we know secretly.
After you left, Jedburgh helped a lot. They even repaired the roads, so the path is much better.
Also, we received an official invitation from the Jedburgh family, which surprised me!
We didn’t have a reason to refuse, so we accepted right away. I’m curious about the grand Jedburgh estate.
We plan to leave in three days. Actually, I want to see you soon, so I’m leaving early. Floren and the priests miss you too.
See you soon.
Always wishing for your peace,
Chartine]
The familiar handwriting made me feel calm. It included almost everything I wanted to know. And they were coming in three days? I checked the letter’s date—it was written two days ago. So if the letter is true, the temple people would arrive tomorrow.
I immediately pulled the call rope.
“Ma’am, did you call?”
“Tomorrow, at least two people will visit. Please prepare in advance.”
“Yes, is there anything else you need?”
I hesitated for a moment. If Chartine and Floren were coming to the estate, it would be better for them to stay at the estate rather than nearby. Also, Yurhen village was very far, so I naturally needed to prepare rooms.
