41
“Cha Sukyung.”
As I was lost in thought and spaced out, he snapped his fingers in front of my face. My unfocused gaze returned to normal, and I met his dark eyes that were solely fixed on me.
“Let’s kiss.”
“…”
“It’s because you’re cute. If you kiss me, I’ll tell you everything.”
Kwon Yikang sighed dramatically as he moved closer. Concerned about aggravating my swollen nose, he tilted his head and briefly touched his lips to mine before pulling away. Then, keeping a slight distance, he pressed more firmly and rubbed his lips against mine. As I opened my eyes at the soft contact, I saw the handsome man’s face.
“I wonder if someone has established a ranking system for bloodlines and pedigree.”
“…”
“You’d be shocked to know how many times I was told I lack proper breeding today.”
“Who did you meet?”
“Grandfather.”
I snatched the bottle and filled the glass with wine until it nearly overflowed, then gulped it down. Strangely, the more I drank, the thirstier I became.
“I learned how cruel people can be. Well, I already knew, but… I was surprised that even rich, well-educated, privileged people can act so inhumanely.”
“Human nature is inherently ugly.”
“Right. I thought wealthy people only behaved with the manners and dignity they’re always preaching about. But it turns out they use that facade of refinement to treat anyone who doesn’t meet their standards as less than human.”
After emptying two full glasses, there was barely anything left. As I put my mouth to the bottle and sucked the last drops, Kwon Yikang couldn’t stand watching anymore and took the empty bottle and wine glass from my hands.
“I gave you that to help you relax, not to guzzle down like that.”
“It’s fine. You gave it to me to drink, right? Anyway, let’s lie down together. I’m a bit cold.”
At my gesture, Kwon Yikang lifted the blanket and slid in beside me. I flinched when he placed an ice pack on the bridge of my nose.
“That’s cold.”
“Keep it there anyway. It’ll help reduce the swelling.”
“Can’t I take off my clothes? They’re damp and uncomfortable.”
“If that was an excuse to undress, it wasn’t very subtle.”
“Have I leveled up to become a player now?”
Kwon Yikang removed his shirt and pants and moved closer to share his body heat. Feeling his warmth, I reached out and wrapped my arm around his waist.
“While everyone else was seated at dinner, he stood alone serving Grandfather’s food. While everyone else was drinking tea, he knelt and washed Grandfather’s feet. He’s been doing this for twenty years, and the other father and his children just watched. A father who gave birth to him was treated like that, and Cha Sukyung—no, I guess I also just watched. It’s ridiculous how such an absurd situation was accepted.”
“So why did you get hit?”
“Because the crazy guy inside me woke up.”
“This isn’t the time for jokes.”
“I’m serious. That person seemed so pitiful. Regardless of our father-child relationship, just as one human to another, he seemed so pitiful that I wanted to cry.”
Even though he had no relation to me, I wanted to rescue him in that moment. Even though he had no relation to me, I hated Grandfather so much. Even though he had no relation to me, the faces of those watching disgusted me. So I caused a scene, wanting to shatter their pretentious expressions.
“That’s when the lunatic inside me awoke. Ah, I don’t know. Fuck. I just acted without thinking. I created complete chaos. Grandfather got so angry he couldn’t even respond properly. It was hilarious.”
“So that’s why you got hit.”
“Two slaps across the face, a bloody nose, and a cut inside my mouth. That old man hit very efficiently. And he’s so strong too. I guess Alphas retain their strength even in old age. He’s excellent at kicking too. When he kicked me, I rolled across the floor.”
I was chattering in a cheerful voice, but it didn’t sound cheerful to the listener at all. After listening quietly, he let out a low groan and gently pulled my head closer to kiss my temple.
“I’m fine about getting hit. It does hurt, but it’s not like I broke any limbs. This is just child’s play.”
“Look at your body. You’re not fine at all.”
For Min Jaehee, this is familiar. I was often hit without reason and treated unfairly many times. Yet I endured through malice, stubbornness, and spite. That was my way of surviving.
“I’ll be kind to kind people, affectionate to affectionate people, and bad to bad people. I’ll return what I receive. It’s only fair that people get back what they give. It’s unjust to be helplessly victimized just because others have money and power. Even if I can’t hit back, I’ll at least throw a punch or kick in the air. I’ll at least shout.”
As I spoke with increasing agitation, Kwon Yikang made a “shh” sound to calm me down. His gentle hand patting my chest quickly stabilized my racing heart. I wanted to see his face, but the ice pack covering my eyes blocked my view.
“Everyone was horrified. Their faces said, ‘What’s wrong with this lunatic?’ Grandfather said I was crazy. He told them to put me in a mental institution. …If that happens… will you come find me?”
“That won’t happen.”
“My Omega father said the same thing. That it won’t happen, that he’s not the type to go that far. …Still… I feel like if I suddenly disappeared, no one would care.”
When Min Jaehee vanished from this world, no one knew. No one cared, no one grieved. Min Jaehee died without leaving a trace or lingering attachment.
Would it be the same when Cha Sukyung disappears? Would no one look for Cha Sukyung, care, or grieve? Would Cha Sukyung also die without leaving any trace in this world?
“I’ll look for you. I’ll find you and bring you back, so don’t worry.”
He’s a kind, gentle, and warm person. That’s why I liked Kwon Yikang. He shows a gentleness I’ve never experienced before, making me feel awkward yet unable to stay away, orbiting around him.
“I like you… I like that you’re gentle.”
Instead of answering, he softly sucked on my nape. He pressed his lips against it, licked it with his tongue, and gently nibbled with his teeth. His presence, transmitted through my skin, was keeping me grounded here.
“Why… do people live by hurting others?”
Sukyung.
Only now could I understand the heart behind your question.
“Why do people live by hurting others? Without any regret or reflection even after taking precious things from others. Acting proud as if they’ve earned a medal after ruining someone else’s life.”
Cha Sukyung.
I think I finally understand a little about how you felt when you cried out just before dying. I still don’t know the answer, but at least now I have the same question as you.
∞ ∞ ∞
“So you actually have a home?”
—Are there people without homes?
“Rich young masters might not know, but there are many people in the world who live without homes. Of course, those people don’t stay in hotels either.”
Kwon Yikang burst out laughing at my words.
—You’re speaking as if you’re not a young master yourself.
My body may be that of a young master, but inside is someone who grew up in the back alleys. I’m actually more familiar with life in the back alleys than the life of a young master, but he wouldn’t know that.
“Why were you staying at a hotel when you have a home?”
—My father has been occupying my house without permission. I was temporarily avoiding it.
“Ah, family issues? That’s just the kind of complicated stuff I love.”
Lee Gyeongjin, who had brought the bread and coffee we ordered, hesitantly sat down in the chair across from me. I gestured for him not to mind and took a sip of iced coffee.
Ugh, iced coffee in winter—fucking cold.
“So the next time we meet, can I expect to be having sex in your bed?”
—Sometimes I get the impression that’s all you think about when you meet me.
“What else should we do when we meet, play rock-paper-scissors? There’s nothing else to do. Besides, after coming once, I get so generous that I’m content just staring at the ceiling. Don’t you agree?”
—That part is a bit hard for me to relate to.
“Next time we meet, let’s experiment. I’ll make you understand with your body.”
Lee Gyeongjin, who had been sipping his coffee with a face pretending not to hear anything, had his eyelid twitch uncomfortably. Sitting close to him, I could clearly see his expressions, unlike before when I only saw the back of his head.
“This driver’s expression is deteriorating in real time. I should hang up. Work hard, and think about when you’ll invite me over.”
—Where are you that you’re face to face with your driver?
“Where else? Just wandering around the streets, stopped at a cafe for coffee.”
—With your driver?
“What, should I make him stand behind me while I drink alone? Stop saying weird things and hang up.”
He was acting all prim and proper when he answered the call, saying he was working, but now he’s talking nonsense when I try to end it. Remembering how he cut me off during our first call, insisting on keeping it brief, this time I pressed the end button first.
“He’s cute anyway.”
Lee Gyeongjin’s face, which had been feigning indifference, crumpled terribly. Lee Gyeongjin must have seen Kwon Yikang before—doesn’t he think he’s cute too?
“This coffee tastes too bitter. Don’t they give sugar?”
“Shall I bring some syrup?”
“Yes, please add some. A lot.”
The coffee Lee Gyeongjin brought back was somewhat better, at least drinkable. Coffee is meant to be sweet, after all. I nodded with satisfaction.
“Next time, let’s get you a cafe mocha or caramel macchiato instead.”
“Are those coffee too?”
There are so many items written on cafe menus, but most have names that are hard to guess what they actually are. Couldn’t they write them more simply? They’re all in English, making me confused about what they actually are just by looking at the names.
“You seem to be on good terms with your partner.”
“Partner? I’m not sure. It just feels good when we’re together.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
