11
Is he talking about my current situation?
There shouldn’t be any connection between the man’s intense emotions and my body suddenly feeling unwell, yet he spoke as if they were very much related.
Did that man intend this? Did he somehow restrain me and hit me with something invisible? Could he possibly be psychic?
As I kept my lips parted in shock and only my eyes moving, the man reached out and lightly brushed back my hair that had fallen forward.
“So now that you know how fucking awful it feels, manage yourself properly like an omega should instead of releasing pheromones everywhere. Don’t regret it after something bad happens to you.”
He seemed to be mixing warning and threat appropriately, but I couldn’t understand what he meant at all.
It was clear the man had done something to me for reasons I didn’t know, but since I didn’t know what he’d done, I couldn’t hastily confront him.
The man strode out of the smoking area with long steps, and I could only stare at his retreating figure with a bewildered expression.
“Are you alright?”
When I finally managed to pull myself together and stumbled out of the smoking area, the security guards standing near the entrance followed and asked. It seems even to them, my condition didn’t look good.
“I’m… not feeling well. Here’s your cigarette.”
I replied with a trembling voice as I returned the remaining cigarette to its owner.
“Smoking isn’t good for patients. And the night wind gets colder too.”
“Yes, yes.”
That wasn’t exactly the reason, but since it was a phenomenon I couldn’t understand myself, I just nodded vaguely.
∞ ∞ ∞
“Today’s session will focus on the patient getting to know himself. Please don’t get excited, and the guardian must not get angry if the patient doesn’t remember something. You must keep in mind that the patient’s memory isn’t completely intact right now.”
The consultation began with the man, the doctor, and me sitting in a triangle. The man still looked displeased and dissatisfied with the situation, but he seemed to be holding back his irritation at the doctor’s request.
“First, let the patient tell the guardian what he knows about himself and what he remembers. Then the patient will ask the guardian questions. The guardian should answer the patient’s questions as kindly and in as much detail as possible.”
Kindly and in detail. Very good conditions. I nodded with satisfaction, and the man’s face crumpled even more.
“Well, first that my name is Cha Sukyung, and my blood type is A. That my emotions jumped around like a crazy person. That my personality was fucking timid. That my family was trying to marry me off and I was terribly against it. But I had such a frustratingly passive personality that I couldn’t even say I didn’t want to. That I tried to commit suicide but failed. That I have two older brothers with an age gap and we don’t get along well, and they both have terrible personalities. About that much?”
“So you ended up putting on a suicide show because you didn’t want to get married?”
“Excuse me. A person died, and you call it a show? Is that something you should say?”
“Now, calm down. The patient remembers more than expected, doesn’t he? It’s a very good start.”
Today, too, the doctor was positive and hopeful. It’s good to live with such an attitude. Though it makes people around you frustrated.
“Before we continue our conversation, there’s something we need to do first. We should organize how we address each other with an attitude of mutual respect. The guardian should always call the patient by name when speaking, and the patient should use the appropriate term of address for the guardian. It’s not right to address family as if they were strangers.”
The man frowned and nodded slightly, and I pondered for a moment, not knowing what to call him.
“You said you gave birth to me? This is really driving me crazy. Well, I guess that’s possible if you’re an omega. Though I still don’t understand it at all. So what should I call you? What did I originally call you? Mom? Mother?”
“Father!”
“If you’re my father, is the hospital director, the other parent, my mother? If you’re an omega, then the hospital director must be an alpha.”
“The hospital director is also your father. And please, I’m begging you, can’t you fix that rude way of talking? We should first fix your manner of speech that lacks proper respect.”
“I’ll fix my way of talking gradually, so don’t worry about it. If both are fathers, how do you distinguish between them?”
“Both are parents, so why do you need to distinguish? I don’t understand your question.”
“This is difficult. Really difficult. Fine, Father. Then tell me about my beloved family. Who lives together? I should at least know who I’ll be facing when I go home right away.”
“Where would you go? You’ll be staying in the hospital until you come to your senses.”
“What are you saying? Am I, what, crazy or something? I’ve lost my memory. How can the hospital fix that? Isn’t that right, Doctor? Say something to this frustrating person who calls himself my father.”
The doctor, caught between the man and me in our war of words, couldn’t find a chance to mediate and only groaned. Finally catching the timing with my remark, the doctor cleared his throat.
“Looking at the chart, the patient doesn’t have any external or internal injuries. If the only problem is unstable memory, as the patient says, going home would be more helpful for the patient’s condition than staying in the hospital.”
“I can’t take him home in this thunderous childish state. What would the hospital director say? Just thinking about what the employees would whisper gives me a headache.”
The man screamed in response to the doctor’s words. It wasn’t the employees that were the problem; my head was starting to hurt from the man’s voice.
“What a loving family. You’re not worried about your son who lost his memory, but you’re worried about the employees’ eyes? If this is what my birth father is like, I can imagine what the rest of the family is like. Yes, I can imagine it very well.”
“Please, can’t you do something about that attitude!”
“Stop, stop. This emotional attitude doesn’t help the situation at all. What did I say? I told you to call the patient by name first when speaking to him. And patient, it would be better if you showed a more respectful attitude when talking to your guardian.”
Attitude wasn’t a problem at all in the current situation. The doctor seemed to ignore that outward appearance different from inner feelings wasn’t important. If I’m secretly cursing inside but showing a respectful attitude on the outside, does that really make it a respectful relationship?
“Sukyung. You need to stay in the hospital.”
“Father, I think I need to be discharged.”
See? Just because you call someone by name and call them father doesn’t mean the conversation works. We were making different arguments and not narrowing the gap at all, so what’s the importance of how we address each other? The terms of address weren’t helping at all.
“Father, please tell me about our family relationships quickly. If you really don’t want to see me acting like a thunderous child at home.”
At my threatening tone, the man sighed and clutched his head.
“It seems my birth father is unemployed, and my other father is the great hospital director. What are my brothers doing? Do they work at companies? Are they married?”
“Do I have to answer this question now?”
“Of course. Now, please tell the patient as kindly and in as much detail as possible.”
The man asked, turning his body toward the doctor as if he didn’t want to talk to me, and the doctor nodded quietly with a smile. The doctor seemed satisfied with this superficially calm situation.
“This is private. I don’t want to talk about my family with someone else present.”
“But I am the doctor in charge of the patient. I dare guarantee that whatever you say here won’t leak out.”
After the doctor went that far, the man seemed to run out of excuses. After thinking for a moment, he reluctantly began to speak.
“…Before talking about other things, I should tell you that you have a grandfather. We don’t live together, but we visit him once a month and have meals together. He’s the chairman of Hosan Hospital, and he’s a strict person, so if you show this kind of attitude, you’ll get scolded severely. Your father is the director of this Hosan Hospital, and I… am not unemployed as you think, but I run an art gallery. I don’t know if you’ve seen the artworks displayed in the hospital lobby, but they’re being exhibited from our gallery, changing regularly.”
“Wow, so grandfather is still alive. Rich old people do live longer. Since he’s running a hospital, he won’t die from illness. He’ll probably live until he soils himself.”
“Cha Sukyung!”
The man’s face turned pale as he shouted at my muttering.
“What’s the problem? I’m not insulting anyone here. Fine, fine. Then, excluding grandfather, are your two parents the only ones living at home?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
