Morning of September 11
***
My childhood crush… and his parents who were in a cult….
ㅇㅇ 20xx.09.11. 07:38
—
There’s a bit of misdirection in the title.
When I was little, there was an oppa I had a crush on. He lived next door to us, and he was seriously, unbelievably handsome. If someone around the neighborhood mentioned “that really handsome guy,” everyone knew exactly who they meant. I’d always been a sucker for a pretty face since I was a kid, lol, so I absolutely adored him.
It wasn’t just his looks—he genuinely had a wonderful personality too. Whenever I was in elementary school and saw him, I’d trail after him everywhere. Even if he was rushing somewhere, he’d still take my hand and walk me home or to the playground. If I threw a tantrum and begged him not to leave, he’d stop by the convenience store and buy me a piece of candy or an ice cream. He was already in middle school, old enough that a little kid like me should’ve been nothing but a nuisance, but I never once saw him lose his temper with me. When he left for college in another region, I was in middle school too, so I couldn’t stubbornly cling to him the way I had when I was younger. I still vividly remember crying my eyes out all by myself.
I thought I’d at least keep seeing his face, but not long after he went off to college, all contact with him suddenly stopped.
He had come out to his family….
The man next door… he’d always bragged about his son, but then he kicked him and threw him out of the house. He shouted to the whole neighborhood that his son was a disgrace to the family, but honestly, it felt like he was the one bringing shame on himself. It would’ve been one thing if it had just been a loud argument, but I don’t know if he hit him or shoved him or what—oppa ended up collapsed on the ground with blood running from his head. An ambulance came, the police showed up… it was complete chaos….
I don’t know exactly what happened afterward since it was someone else’s family business, but things definitely didn’t end well. After that, oppa never came home again.
Even though it wasn’t my family’s business, it still weighed on me. Sometimes I’d wonder why he felt he had to come out…. Not that I was trying to blame him…. I just found myself thinking maybe he could’ve waited until after graduating college. At least then his parents couldn’t have cut off their financial support…. Stuff like that. At the same time, though, this was someone who’d always been so kind even to the little girl next door who barely knew him beyond his name and face. I’m sure he must’ve treated his own parents even better than he treated me. It upset me that they’d act as if their son were dead just because he was gay….
Still, it wasn’t my place to interfere in another family’s affairs, so I eventually let it go and moved on. I used to be fairly familiar with his parents, but after everything that happened, we only exchanged awkward greetings whenever we ran into each other.
Then, about a year and a half ago….
I was just about to go into my house when oppa’s mother came out through the gate next door and called me over. She asked if I could help her move something inside the house. It felt a little uncomfortable, but enough time had passed that I’d mostly put the old incident behind me, so I went inside without thinking much of it.
After I’d finished helping her, she peeled some fruit for me. We chatted for a little while…. At the time, I’d been unemployed for quite a while, haha, so she started doing that thing older people do where they stick their noses into your life. I was giving vague “yes” and “uh-huh” answers while secretly waiting for a chance to leave when she suddenly asked whether I was short on spending money while job hunting. She said she knew of an easy part-time position and could put in a good word for me. She said it was the kind of job I could do while studying.
I wasn’t desperately in need of a part-time job, but I was a little short on spending money, so I was tempted. My parents weren’t refusing to give me any—I just felt guilty asking them for more…. I wasn’t entirely convinced, but I gave her my contact information anyway. If it turned out to be sketchy, I could always just disappear… lol.
Not long after that, she contacted me, and I actually got the job.
It was an office assistant position at a small company. The pay was only minimum wage, but the nice thing was that there was almost nothing to do. Every once in a while I’d answer the phone and transfer the call to whoever the caller was looking for, and that was basically it. I had exams I was studying for, and they never minded if I sat there with my workbook open all day. If anything, they encouraged me. Everyone there was kind. At lunchtime we’d all eat together, and the people in the office—especially the Assistant Manager—would give me advice about life. I’d been struggling after being unemployed for so long, so it genuinely helped me a lot. Little by little, I started relying on the people at the company.
You’ve probably already figured it out by now, but every single one of them belonged to a cult. LOL. The company itself wasn’t directly connected to the cult, but from the owner to every employee, they were all members. The only thing that made me feel left out while I worked there was that sometimes everyone would go somewhere together during lunch or after work, leaving only me behind. Right around the time I was starting to feel genuinely disappointed and excluded by that, they made me an offer. They said they all got together to study, and if I was curious, I could come watch for just one day.
That was the point where I started feeling a little suspicious, but when I actually went, it seemed like they were focused on self-improvement, psychological counseling, and sharing advice that was genuinely helpful. Like an idiot, I dropped my guard again. LOL. I ended up joining their study sessions. After that, it probably went the way everyone would expect…. Gradually it became more religious, then came studying the doctrine, then little by little I was being brainwashed….
I really was on the verge of getting in way too deep with no way out, but a lot of things happened. I’ll leave that part out since it’d be too identifying. Anyway, during all of that, I found out that the parents of the guy next door were deeply devoted to the cult. Since I lived next door, the cult kept sending me to their house all the time to visit his mother, partly to keep an eye on me. Because of that, one thing led to another, and my own parents found out I’d gotten involved with the cult too. At the time I was already halfway sucked in, so I kept insisting it wasn’t a big deal and tried hard to deny it… but in the end, my parents suffered through a lot of worry, and I finally came to my senses.ㅠㅠ
Naturally, my relationship with the people next door became absolutely terrible. I thought we’d all just remain awkward with each other forever and eventually drift apart….
Then today, through the grapevine, I heard that the man next door had passed away. They also said his wife is in very serious condition. But the thing is… maybe it was because they’d become so deeply immersed in the cult… Apparently, near the end, he started saying all kinds of truly bizarre nonsense. It wasn’t as though he was sick enough for his mind to deteriorate like that, either.
Even so, we’d known each other for a long time, but because of everything that happened, I can’t bring myself to feel even a little sorry for them. Honestly, if it had just been news about those two, I probably would’ve just thought, “Well, it is what it is.” What really bothered me was hearing about the guy next door as part of the story.
It sounds like he hadn’t been in contact with them for over ten years. Even so, because they were still his parents, he came to take care of them after they collapsed, and it seems like he’s been going through a lot.
Hearing news about him again after ten years, it sounds like oppa has a good job now…. I hope he can forget those people who hardly deserved to be called parents and live a happy life. Honestly, if something bad happened to his parents, it feels like they brought it on themselves. Maybe that makes me a terrible person, but that’s honestly how I feel.
***
Suspect Arrested in the Murder of Mr. Kim
Ramse
20XX.9.11. 10:33
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The prime suspect in the murder of Mr. Kim, a case that once dominated countless online forums, has been arrested.
Here’s the post I wrote about it before:
(Link)
The suspect is Han Inam.
He’s a career con artist with 12 fraud convictions, and he’s currently involved with the cult Ha-neul Truth Church, where he’s apparently graduated to extorting money from people on a much larger scale. He’s currently on the run.
Han Inam originally targeted wealthy people with scams, but after getting involved with Ha-neul Truth Church, it looks like he started branching out into genuinely dangerous crimes. Investigators even uncovered evidence that an individual referred to only as Mr. Kim (no identifying details have been released) was the target of a contract killing. On top of that, it was also revealed that Han Inam accepted requests from members of Ha-neul Truth Church to assault and otherwise harm other people on their behalf.
For the record, there were two people who commissioned the hit on Mr. Kim. One of them is dead, and the other is currently unconscious. Honestly, it might be better for that second person if they never wake up…..
The other organization implicated in all of this is Ha-neul Truth Church. Apparently, they used this sort of contract work as part of their recruitment activities. So after Han Inam was arrested last night, investigators also launched an investigation into Ha-neul Truth Church, and from what I’ve heard, the entire cult is in complete chaos now. It seems Ha-neul Truth Church was fairly well-known around the Y City area. There are still some people defending them, but it’s probably only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses.
Another thing is how incredibly fast this investigation is moving….. Apparently they’ve assigned a huge amount of manpower to the Ha-neul Truth Church case. There are rumors that, since the Y City police recently came under heavy criticism over their handling of crime victims, they’re throwing every available officer at this case both to smooth things over and to shift public attention.
—
Comments (5)
ㅇㅇ
Wow… a contract killing in Korea? That’s terrifying. How are people supposed to feel safe?
ㅇㅇ
Hope these cult bastards get exactly what they deserve.
***
Kim Taeyoung
At twenty-one, Lee Heesoo resembled a withered flower. His stem had grown so soft that it could no longer hold him upright, leaving him drooping limply as he waited for the day he would dry up completely.
In a way, the one who had made Heesoo like that was Taeyoung himself.
Ever since childhood, there had always been people surrounding Heesoo. It was only natural, really. Lee Heesoo was kind, gentle, handsome, and intelligent—the very picture of perfection. Back in elementary school, kids would argue over who got to be his desk partner. By middle school, he was constantly being confessed to. Even those who weren’t romantically interested found themselves drawn to him. Everyone, without exception, gravitated toward Heesoo.
Taeyoung loved Heesoo.
But there was one thing he could never bring himself to like: the kindness Heesoo freely gave to everyone.
Heesoo was the sort of person who could even find something good to say about the disgusting perverts who looked at him with filthy eyes.
Taeyoung hated that.
Fortunately, the Heesoo who was kindest to Taeyoung accepted every bit of his lover’s jealousy without complaint.
In the end, no one close to Heesoo remained except Taeyoung.
It wasn’t as satisfying as he’d imagined.
As most of Heesoo’s relationships with other people disappeared, and his parents continued to hurl insults and verbal abuse at him on a regular basis, Heesoo finally broke under the strain. He became ill. Even after going to the hospital, taking medication, and attending counseling, his condition never showed any clear improvement.
Heesoo grew quieter and quieter. He shut himself away inside the house, spending his days reading books until he fell asleep.
Taeyoung hated seeing Heesoo talk to other people.
But he hated seeing him wasting away in lonely misery, too.
At this rate, Heesoo would eventually reach his limit and escape from Taeyoung’s grasp.
Yet Taeyoung couldn’t bring himself to let Heesoo go back to smiling warmly at just anyone, the way he used to.
In the end, Taeyoung started dragging Heesoo around with him.
Heesoo insisted over and over that he genuinely preferred staying at home, but he could never bring himself to resist Taeyoung to the very end whenever Taeyoung took him by the hand and pulled him along.
Even when they traveled, Heesoo often stayed cooped up in the hotel reading books. Still, little by little, he spent time with Taeyoung’s friends, played outside under the sun, and even smiled.
Heesoo stopped taking his medication. He quit counseling. He completed his military service, graduated from college, and successfully landed a job at a major corporation.
For the next several years, they had a calm, stable relationship.
To Taeyoung, it was a perfect relationship.
It truly was perfect…
…right up until the day the well-behaved Heesoo suddenly began trying, again and again, to slip out of Taeyoung’s grasp.
***
Messages
—–September 13—–
—
My Heesoo
Taeyoung-ah
Why do you keep not answering your phone
You’re not even checking my messages…..
Aren’t you done with work yet?
What are you doing
……
You’ve been acting a little strange lately
You keep avoiding people’s eyes
And zoning out all the time
Before you left on your business trip…..
……
Am I bothering you?
You send me several times this many messages every time
And call me dozens of times too
But now I’m bothering you?
You shoved me aside
And stormed out angry
…….
Please answer me….
Taeyoung-ah
Kim Taeyoung, please
Answer me
I’m going to get angry
…….
I’m hurt….
I went to the hospital by myself too
My forehead split open, so I got three stitches
Answer me
Please
……
—–September 14—–
My Heesoo
If you’re going to ignore everything
—–November 10—–
Then just break up with me
I miss you
Everyone says I killed you…..
There’s no way I would’ve killed you
……
I’m sorry
For saying something so cruel
—–February 13—–
My Heesoo
A few days ago, I made a huge pot of kimchi stew, but I threw it all away
It’s too much without you here
—–March 11—–
My Heesoo
Should I just follow you?
—–March 14—–
My Heesoo
It’s not working
—–April 26—–
My Heesoo
It’s not working
—–June 8—–
My Heesoo
It didn’t work the day before yesterday either
…….
I almost succeeded
But Sunwoo came and…. helped me
Do you know what Sunwoo said?
If that really was you, then you’d already know without me telling you.
He said he accidentally fell asleep, and you appeared in his dream
You told him to save me?
If Sunwoo hadn’t come, I would’ve followed you just like that…..
Was that really you?
Taeyoung-ah
Do you……
Do you want me to keep living?
Am I thinking this way
Because some part of me doesn’t want to die?
Or do you really still care about me?
…….
Am I allowed to live?
Taeyoung-ah
Please answer me
Anything is fine…..
—-
(There are messages reporting the small details of his daily life almost every day.)
—–July 22—–
My Heesoo
Taeyoung-ah
I miss you
—-
(There are messages reporting the small details of his daily life almost every day.)
—–August 20—–
My Heesoo
Was that email from you?
I don’t think it was
That’s just how it feels
…….
I don’t know
I almost wish it had been you
—–August 30—–
My Heesoo
I’m at a barbecue place right now with someone I met online
And I’m kind of scared;
I mean, he looked big over Skype too
But he’s way bigger than I expected, so I got a little intimidated;
This is kind of scary….. I finally decided to try living again
He’s not secretly the youngest son of some gangster family or anything, right?
You said I had terrible luck with people…..
…….
It’ll be okay, right?
—–August 31—–
My Heesoo
He seems like such a good kid
That I feel bad for misunderstanding him yesterday
He says he’ll believe me…..
I cried a little
I’m happy
I found a little courage
—–September 1—–
My Heesoo
Seeing Snow White
Reminds me of our Huchu too
Their colors are different, though
Mm…..
I miss him
It’d be nice if I could go see him just once
I shouldn’t have sent him away….
But I sent Huchu away because he’d be in danger if I died
I regret it…..
It seems like your parents feel uncomfortable seeing me
I guess it can’t be helped…..
—–September 9—–
My Heesoo
It’s been a while since I left you a message
The things you said…..
I’ve been thinking them over slowly
I still haven’t reached a conclusion
I’ll think about it some more
It’s hard to think deeply these days
Because I keep hearing strange voices
Is that you, Gitae-ah?
…….
Don’t be so frightening
I’m sorry
***
