At Inho’s gentle question—“Are you okay?”—Haon slowly opened his eyes. His heavy eyelids lifted gradually, and Inho’s face came into view, looking down at him.
Inho reached out with his long arm to turn on the indirect light on the nightstand, then leaned in to look closely at Haon once more. Up until then, they’d been relying solely on the light filtering through the window, having left the room dark.
Now that the dim surroundings were lit, they could see each other’s faces far more clearly.
Inho studied Haon’s expression, brushing a fingertip beneath the corner of Haon’s eye. Seeing the tense frown on Haon’s face, he thought for a moment that Haon was crying. Fortunately, there were no tears, but the look on his face teetered right on the edge.
“Are you feeling unwell? Did something hurt?”
He poured out the questions, carefully watching Haon’s frail, prone figure. The earlier heat in Inho’s expression had faded, replaced with deep concern.
Haon didn’t answer right away. Instead, his gaze flickered between Inho’s face and the space between his legs. Despite his genuine concern, Inho was still clearly aroused. The thick tension pressing below him looked hard to endure. Haon could feel it—Inho’s body instinctively yearning to be inside him.
“I’m… I’m okay…”
Haon was glad Inho was aroused. It brought a sense of relief to see him react to a body as pitiful as his—one that couldn’t even produce pheromones.
“I was just… nervous.”
He mumbled in a faint voice, his face flushed with embarrassment. While the indirect lighting made it easier to see Inho’s features, it also left Haon feeling exposed. He was completely naked and ashamed of his thin, muscleless body being seen so clearly.
He subtly shifted his body away from the side with the lamp, leaning toward Inho and reaching out his arm. He hoped Inho would continue what they’d started.
Haon wanted to be in Inho’s arms. Even if Inho’s touch turned rough, he didn’t mind. Even if his cock was so large it tore him, he felt like he could laugh it off without a care. Because he liked him that much.
“Please… keep going…”
Because sex was an act of love.
Haon gathered his courage and tried to wrap his arms around Inho’s neck—but was gently refused. Inho didn’t embrace him.
Instead, he leaned back to avoid Haon’s arms, tugging the blanket up to cover Haon’s exposed lower half.
“If you’re okay, then why are you trembling?”
“…Huh?”
Haon tilted his head and blinked in confusion. ‘Trembling? Who?’
“Your hands are shaking, Haon. Your legs too.”
Inho gently took Haon’s wrist and showed him. Only then did Haon realize it—his hand was shaking. Even the thigh hidden beneath the blanket was trembling slightly.
He looked like someone absolutely terrified. But Haon wasn’t scared at all.
Haon shook his head with a frustrated frown creasing his brows. He wanted to say he really was fine, but the heat choking his throat blocked the words from coming out.
Inho opened his mouth slightly as if to speak, then closed it again, pulling the blanket up to Haon’s chin. After that, he sat at a palm’s length away, putting space between them. Maybe he no longer intended to go through with it.
“ I-Inho…”
Haon squeezed out the words and grabbed Inho’s wrist tightly. His hand was still trembling.
“You can just put it in… it’s okay…”
What scared him more was the thought that Inho might leave like this. That he’d walk away from this bed and go looking for another Omega instead.
“I really am okay, so please… go ahead.”
Haon threw off the blanket and pushed himself up, mirroring Inho’s posture. Crawling forward on his knees, he tugged Inho’s wrist and guided it between his thighs.
“I’ll do well…”
He mumbled the words without even realizing what he was saying. He straddled Inho’s thigh, positioning himself, and leaned in to press his lips against Inho’s, suckling at them—barely able to breathe.
Inho simply sat still, watching Haon move. He witnessed firsthand how Haon had approached Alphas in the past—sober and conscious.
Haon didn’t even notice that his own cock had gone soft. He let out moans as if aroused, rubbing his lower half against Inho’s stomach, deliberately making louder noises. But to Inho’s ears, the awkward moans sounded more like sobs.
“You can… do it, really…”
When Inho still didn’t move, Haon finally reached down himself, grasping Inho’s cock and trying to guide it into himself. With trembling fingers, he aimed the tip at his unprepared hole and tried to press it in—like it was second nature.
Inho’s throat tightened at the sight.
“Don’t.”
He grabbed Haon’s shoulders and pushed him back, finally breaking his silence. His voice was laced with restrained anger, and Haon stiffened, immediately pulling his hands away.
Before Haon could grow more frightened, Inho quickly caught his hand again—fingers locking between his, holding tightly. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on Haon’s shoulder.
“When you act like this… it really breaks my heart.”
A shallow sigh fell against Haon’s chest. He blinked, frozen in place, unable to say a word. The warmth of Inho’s forehead against his shoulder felt hot—or maybe it was the heat coming from his own body.
“I’m not angry.”
Inho added softly, worried Haon would read too much into the silence.
“Let’s just stay like this for a bit.”
They both needed time to calm down. If they kept talking now, Inho knew he wouldn’t be able to hide the anger on his face. And the last thing he wanted was to scare Haon because of him.
“You don’t have to force yourself.”
“Not when you’re with me. No—no matter who you’re with.”
Inho slowly lifted his head and met Haon’s gaze. Obedient to a fault, Haon remained completely still in the posture he’d taken, as if following Inho’s words to the letter. His eyes were rimmed with a deep red, on the verge of tears.
“If you don’t want to do it, Haon… then don’t.”
Please, Inho added softly, gripping Haon’s hand even tighter. No matter how gently he treated him, watching Haon constantly force himself to match Inho’s pace gnawed away at him inside.
“Inho…”
Haon finally spoke, his voice faltering as he held Inho’s hand tightly in return. He opened his mouth to speak further, then bit down on his lower lip, struggling to steady his breath.
“It’s not… that I don’t want to…”
His fragile voice wavered. He gripped Inho’s hand more firmly, as if pleading for him to understand.
“I-I like it… but I’m scared.”
Haon pushed through to the end, determined to express what was in his heart.
“I really like you, Inho… I want to… I want to do it.”
“But…”
His lips trembled so much the words barely formed. Yet Inho nodded, signaling that he understood—every last bit of it.
“I think… I’d rather we didn’t… tonight…”
He wanted him, and yet… didn’t want it. Even Haon himself couldn’t make sense of the contradiction, but he spoke the tangled feelings aloud, letting Inho hear them.
“I’m… scared to do it.”
If Inho got angry at those words, Haon wouldn’t have been able to complain.
But Inho didn’t get angry.
“Then we don’t have to.”
His voice was calm.
“What is sex, anyway?”
Inho smiled gently, brushing his thumb over the soft, downy hairs on the back of Haon’s trembling hand.
At that tenderness, the sob that had been stuck between Haon’s lips finally burst out. His body shook with sobs as he cried openly, repeating the same words again and again—he wanted to be with Inho, but he was scared to do it. The emotions that had reached Inho now spilled out in tears.
Inho held him tightly, wrapping his arms around Haon’s trembling back and soothing him with slow strokes. Though Haon repeated himself over and over, Inho listened to every word, as if hearing them all for the first time.
“Let’s sleep here tonight.”
After Haon had cried to his heart’s content, Inho pressed a soft kiss to his damp cheek and whispered.
“Just holding hands.”
He smiled as he gave Haon’s hand a little shake—never having let it go. Haon, tears still clinging to the corners of his eyes, nodded and said yes.
And so the two of them lay down properly in the center of the wide bed. Haon curled up on his side, resting his head against Inho’s arm in place of a pillow, and pressed his face close to Inho’s chest.
He still hadn’t finished crying. In that position, he let a few more tears fall until, eventually, he cried himself to sleep.
***
Hours later, Haon awoke and rubbed his heavy eyelids. Then, lifting his head on impulse, he saw Inho’s face clearly in the soft glow of the still-lit lamp.
“Do you want some water?”
As their eyes met, Inho spoke softly to Haon. He had been quietly watching him sleep for hours.
“You didn’t sleep…?”
“I did. Just woke up.”
At the sound of Haon’s hoarse voice, Inho smiled gently and moved as if to get some water. But Haon shook his head and grabbed onto the collar of Inho’s shirt.
Instead of letting him go, he wriggled closer and brushed his lips lightly against Inho’s. It was a kiss as clumsy as the very first one they’d shared—awkward, unsure.
“Inho…”
Haon’s quiet whisper filled the stillness of the deep night.
“I really didn’t hate it.”
“I mean it.”
When Inho didn’t respond, Haon leaned in again and kissed him softly, murmuring, “I really mean it…” against his lips.
Though Inho didn’t reply, his hand gently patted Haon’s back. The lack of response tugged at Haon’s smile, causing the corners of his lips to droop. But sleep soon crept in again.
“I’ll learn to understand better from now on.”
Only after Haon had fallen asleep did Inho finally speak. His low, husky voice blended with the sound of Haon’s quiet, rhythmic breathing.
Even after dawn broke, Inho kept patting Haon’s slender back.
