“Yeah.”
That actually was natural. Because Alexander said he would stay by Kalix’s side.
“What about you?”
“I’m also going to meet my cousin, so I’ll contact you when I see the timing. I can probably go for about a week.”
“Then contact me when you know the schedule. I might not be available either since I’m supposed to travel with my family.”
Kalix half-listened to Owen and Bertram’s conversation while looking at the door where the professor was entering. Since class would start soon, Kalix looked down at his book. Kalix also knew he was selfish. And that he was asking quite a lot from Alexander too. It didn’t seem like Alexander was uncomfortable with Kalix, but someday he might get tired of it or start disliking him.
Or maybe not someday, but he already started disliking me? It would actually make sense. So he wanted to treat him better, but he didn’t know how. Still, he hoped Alexander wouldn’t dislike him. Alexander, at least.
* * *
Kalix looked around the lounge. Where was Alexander? The lounge was divided into spaces, where one side was for quiet studying and the other side was for resting or chatting. Alexander had gone out saying he was going to do assignments with friends at dawn after sleeping in the room, so he was probably on the resting side. Ah, there he is.
“Alex.”
“CC?”
Alexander seemed not to have expected Kalix to appear when it wasn’t time to get up yet, but soon moved aside on the sofa to make room. Kalix sat next to him and looked around. His other friends couldn’t endure doing assignments – one person was lying on the sofa across from them, and another was dozing leaning against the window right next to them. He was even standing and dozing at the window. It seemed pointless, but Alexander seemed to be fine.
“Did you wake up?”
At that question asked while looking at what seemed to be a textbook without even looking at Kalix, Kalix nodded. Alexander seemed to feel that movement as he lifted the corners of his mouth slightly.
“Why are you doing the assignment alone?”
“Actually, I’m copying what they finished.”
Kalix had been worried that Alexander was working hard alone, but it was fortunate that wasn’t the case.
“Then that’s fine.”
Alexander was physically and mentally tired from handling both liberal arts classes and main classes together, so it was fine for his friends to help him this much. Kalix looked at Alexander’s profile for a moment. Perhaps because of the shadowed eyes, that face which usually had good color seemed a little pale. Was it because he’d been very busy lately? Moreover, even though it was exam period, morning training continued.
Feeling sorry for him, Kalix quietly placed the cookie he had brought in advance on top of Alexander’s book. Then Alexander glanced at Kalix.
“Why do you keep feeding me?”
It was true that lately Kalix had been continuously feeding Alexander something whenever he saw him. But he looked tired and Alexander couldn’t sleep for long, so he wanted to feed him something at least so his stamina wouldn’t drop.
“You move around a lot.”
Kalix looked at Alexander’s hand picking up the cookie anyway. Would Alexander have time to sleep more? Maybe he’d have to go straight to training after finishing the assignment. That’s probably why they set the appointment time for dawn too.
“Ah, at night?”
That casual comment seemed to have a bit of playfulness in it, but Kalix looked at Alexander questioningly. Was there training at night these days too? Or was there practice in the evening?
“Morning training—”
Then he looked at Alexander’s expression. Alexander’s face showed momentary dismay. As if he had misspoken. Seeing that expression, Kalix also realized what Alexander’s words meant. Once they both noticed they understood each other’s meaning, an awkward silence flowed instantly.
At night. Moving around a lot. At night. Not training. But moving around. At night. Training is in the morning though. Still, at night. He momentarily remembered Alexander who used to go around so well at night. Did he get a girlfriend? No. He’s always there at night.
Kalix had never seen Alexander disappear without saying anything. In the first place, Kalix also woke up early to confirm Alexander going out.
“It was a joke.”
A rare sheepish look spread across Alexander’s face.
“It was too mature for you to hear.”
Even at those words, Kalix just looked at Alexander awkwardly. Come to think of it, Alexander had said such things before too. That Kalix and himself were too immature. What did those words mean? Really, exactly that meaning? Did he sincerely mean he didn’t feel sexual desire toward Kalix? So was he reacting as if this kind of joke was also inappropriate now?
“CC, don’t you need to sleep more?”
The question that followed seemed like he was trying to send Kalix away, so Kalix quickly answered.
“Yeah.”
Does he really have a girlfriend? But it was too strange for Kalix to ask about that. But maybe it wouldn’t be strange. That made it even stranger.
“Aren’t you sleepy?”
“I want to stay here.”
He became a little anxious because he didn’t want to be in a room without Alexander. What if he tells me to go back again? I want to keep staying here. But Alexander readily answered.
“Okay.”
Kalix then looked at Alexander, who lowered his gaze back to his assignment, somewhat unfamiliarly yet dazedly. Really, you don’t like me?
* * *
You don’t like me? Really? You don’t like me, you just want to help so you’re doing this? But Alexander definitely said to use him. Not to find someone to help elsewhere, but to use him. Wasn’t that definitely meaning he wanted to make Kalix his? Then what is it? No, but it seems like you like me. Still not?
Thinking like that while doing assignments, thinking like that while taking exams, and before he knew it, it was summer vacation. It didn’t seem like he would fail, and it seemed the same for Alexander. Still, he seemed tired, as Alexander slept the entire time on the train.
Kalix quietly watched him. Even though he had fed him lots of snacks occasionally, he seemed to have lost a little weight. When he said such things, both Alexander and Alexander’s friends said it didn’t particularly seem that way, but it felt that way to Kalix.
Alexander was sleeping with his jacket placed between the window and his head. Perhaps because he was sleeping with his arms crossed, those shoulders particularly caught his eye. And the sternocleidomastoid muscle that stood out because he tilted his neck slightly. Wouldn’t his neck be stiff when he woke up from sleeping like that? Perhaps because the seat was uncomfortable, his eyes were furrowed, which was also pitiful.
If Alexander’s exam hadn’t ended on the last day, he could have rested well at the Academy before getting on the train, but since all rooms had to be vacated during summer vacation, Alexander had no choice but to leave the very next day after finishing his exam. Or there was a hotel right near the Academy, so he should have let him sleep there at least. It was regrettable that he only thought of it now.
As the train gradually stopped, Alexander slowly opened his eyes even though he hadn’t been woken up. The quietly closed eyelids lifted, revealing the green eyes inside. Perhaps because he had just woken up, that slightly dark color was like rain-soaked leaves. When Alexander’s eyes met Kalix’s immediately, he smiled slowly, then closed his eyes again.
“Did we arrive?”
The low, hoarse voice seemed to retain a vague fatigue, but that face was smiling gently even with eyes closed.
“Yeah.”
It certainly wasn’t the first time coming to the territory with Alexander. But then and now were completely different. Only about six months had passed since then. Of course, he was still nervous now too. But unlike last time, he hadn’t been continuously anxious from more than a month before arriving at the territory, thinking several times a day that it might be better to just die quickly.
It was the same now. Since they had already arrived at the station, he really had to meet his family soon. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t uncomfortable, but it didn’t seem like he would completely freeze up like before. Because Alexander would be by his side. Even if it wasn’t okay, Alexander would tell him it would be okay.
“Want to sleep a bit before going?”
The Blackwood territory was quite large, so there were not only inns but also hotels of considerable size. Since his body would be stiff from sleeping on the train, he thought it would be better to sleep comfortably there even briefly, so when he asked, Alexander said slowly.
“There should be a carriage.”
“We can send it back.”
They could just ask to be taken to the hotel and send it back. Anyway, it was easy to get a carriage from the hotel, and if he just said so, the manager would prepare a carriage at the right time. Alexander should know all that too, but Alexander still spoke slowly.
“There should be pretty horses. It’s a shame.”
The voice that had been quite hoarse until just a moment ago had lost quite a bit of sleepiness. Alexander opened his eyes again and looked at Kalix.
“There’s probably going to be a white horse. That’s the feeling I get.”
Perhaps because there was still a trace of sleepiness, his voice was particularly drawn out at the end. Plus the languidly relaxed voice and leisurely smile. Somehow it was embarrassing to look at that sight, but it would be strange to suddenly avert his gaze, so Kalix tried his best not to show any awkwardness and nodded.
“To escort the princess—”
Princess? But before Kalix could wonder, Alexander said.
“To take the prince away.”
At those words, Kalix reflexively became sour. Last time he made that sound and now he’s saying it again. It seemed like when they went to Alexander’s territory, he’d really need to see just how they came out to greet Alexander there.
“Are you really okay not resting?”
When he asked while watching Alexander get up from his seat, Alexander stretched briefly and nodded. Eventually Kalix also got up and exited the train with Alexander, and as they’d been contacted in advance, a carriage was waiting in front of the station. There was no white horse.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
