“No. It’s okay.”
At times like this, he became embarrassed. Contrary to Kalix’s worries, Alexander didn’t become strange even after they started dating, and only became more affectionate. Looking at Alexander, all of Kalix’s numerous worries only became unnecessary.
“We have one class together. But I don’t talk to her.”
“Don’t do it in the future either.”
“Okay.”
Kalix closed his eyes while leaning his cheek against Alexander’s hand.
“Don’t you have anything you’re curious about regarding me?”
After saying it, he became a little anxious. What could Alexander have to ask Kalix about? He already knew most things. Still, if he were to ask, would it be about the time when his body was taken over after all? Alexander was the only person who had heard about Kalix’s story from that period, but that didn’t mean he had heard it in detail.
He didn’t want to think about it himself, so he had never told Alexander about it in detail either. But if he said he was curious, he should still answer everything. Because it was Alexander.
“Was the person who gave you the bouquet someone you knew originally?”
At that question that came out just as he was steeling his heart, Kalix immediately opened his eyes, straightened his posture, and shook his head.
“No.”
When he answered quickly, Alexander gently stroked Kalix’s clasped hand with his thumb.
“The name?”
There was no way he would remember. But Alexander seemed to expect an answer, so he tried his best to recall.
“Maybe, Jane?”
That seemed about right. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t even remember the feeling of her last name. He was sure she had told him her full name.
“What did she say when she gave it to you?”
Kalix started to gauge Alexander’s reaction.
“She said her sister is in the military studies department so she was waiting in front, and since I was also waiting for you, that’s why she talked to me.”
Alexander was looking down at Kalix’s hands, so Kalix lowered his head and placed his face over those hands.
“But that was really the end of it. When I said I was seeing someone, she even said she could give the bouquet to that person instead. Just as a sign of friendship.”
At that, Alexander kissed Kalix’s temple as if he found it absurd, yet inevitable.
“Geez, who gives bouquets as a sign of friendship.”
It was a valid point, so there wasn’t much to say. Kalix just stayed leaning against Alexander’s hands like that, then sneakily looked up at Alexander.
“Then have you never given flowers as gifts to anyone other than Skylar?”
“Not aside from family.”
He wondered if Jasper might be included in that and felt bad. When he turned his head again to bury his face in those hands, Alexander gently caressed Kalix’s ear.
“Don’t wait in front from now on.”
“Why?”
As his body shrank slightly from the ticklish sensation, Alexander saw this and answered with a smile.
“Why do you think?”
He was definitely talking about receiving the bouquet.
“But you receive them too.”
“I’ve never received any.”
That was really the case, so again there was nothing to say. More precisely, there had been many people who tried to give Alexander something, but Alexander had never accepted such things. Thinking about it made him feel both wronged and sorry. Kalix also normally really doesn’t accept them. But why at that particular moment.
“I’m sorry.”
His voice naturally dropped.
“You won’t do it again, right?”
“Yeah.”
When he answered obediently, Alexander lifted Kalix’s face and pressed their lips together firmly. When he looked at him in bewilderment, a smile slowly spread across that face. Kalix naturally smiled along, then sneakily gauged Alexander’s reaction.
“Then is it okay if I wait somewhere else?”
“Why?”
Since Alexander was kissing the corner of his eyes, Kalix answered with his eyes closed.
“I don’t like being alone in a room without you.”
At that, not only did the answer stop, but so did the kisses all over his face. Had it been too burdensome? But Kalix would already be burdensome enough anyway. When he sneakily opened his eyes, Alexander kissed him while still smiling.
“Geez, this is trouble.”
The trouble had already happened long ago. He had even met Alexander while already in a state of trouble. Now Alexander had also become trouble, but it would be even bigger trouble without Alexander. So Alexander is good trouble. Something absolutely essential to him, very important.
“Then, can I kiss you?”
At Kalix’s question, Alexander nodded and closed his eyes. Kalix hesitated for a moment, looking at that face. With those always captivating eyes covered, Alexander’s characteristic quiet yet calm atmosphere deepened.
He could manage to hold hands or give brief kisses if he gathered courage, but kissing was difficult. Light contact just revealed affection in itself, but deeper contact beyond that revealed other things.
It was okay when Alexander did it to him. Kalix really, truly didn’t mind whatever Alexander did to him. But when Kalix initiated it, that was a completely different story. Because Kalix liked Alexander with a very pure heart, or because he wanted to, or because he had to, he couldn’t help but be careful.
Though one might wonder why there was no action, Alexander didn’t rush or open his eyes again, just quietly waited for Kalix. At that sight, Kalix felt an inevitable flutter and carefully touched his lips to those lips.
After a very brief contact and separation, Alexander’s lips curved elegantly upward while his eyes remained closed. Kalix stared blankly at that trace for a moment, then kissed a bit deeper this time. As he slipped into the slightly parted gap, goosebumps rose at that soft sensation.
Kalix gently wrapped around Alexander’s nape like that. Just like Alexander always did when they kissed. But he didn’t know how much force to use to hold gently. Where exactly did Alexander usually hold? Was it a bit higher than this? When he carefully moved his hand, Alexander burst into laughter as if it tickled.
Eventually Kalix also laughed through their connected lips, so Alexander gently wrapped his own hand around Kalix’s nape, then brought Kalix’s hand down to wrap around his waist. It was clearly more stable than when Kalix had clumsily touched Alexander.
As he focused on intertwining tongues like that, before he knew it his body was slowly laid down on the bed. Kalix just followed along and instinctively pulled Alexander closer to him. But instead of touching Kalix completely, Alexander lifted his waist slightly to maintain distance. Disappointed by this, he playfully bit his tongue lightly, making Alexander briefly pull his lips away.
Disappointed even by the momentary separation, he followed and sucked on the tongue apologetically, making Alexander gently caress Kalix’s chin. Then he pulled his lips away again. As he caught his breath slightly, Alexander had somehow moved to kiss Kalix’s neckline. But, his neckline?
Kalix looked down blankly with an unfamiliar feeling. He had definitely been properly buttoned up, but several buttons were already undone. When on earth? He hadn’t felt anything like them being undone at all. Kalix, who had been feeling Alexander’s lips nibbling at his neckline somewhat unrealistically, suddenly snapped to attention when those hands touched his waist.
“Sasha.”
It was always like this. Just like how his buttons had come undone without his knowledge now, everything happened without Kalix knowing. Without his knowledge Alexander had been liking Kalix, without his knowledge he had been confessed to, without his knowledge he had been liking Alexander too, without his knowledge they were dating.
Though he wondered if it was possible to have sex without him knowing, Alexander seemed fully capable of pulling it off. Alexander always seemed to step back and wait for him, yet when he came to his senses, everything was going according to Alexander’s wishes. But this was the one thing that couldn’t happen.
“Sasha, this kind of thing, sleeping together, I’d like to do it after the school year ends.”
Though he worried Alexander might dislike it, he knew Alexander would accept it. Alexander always listened to what Kalix said. Kalix had already told Alexander that everything would end this summer. Dating was one thing, but going into a physical relationship before that was too dangerous.
Perhaps the reason nothing was happening now was because Kalix wasn’t sleeping with Alexander. Originally, when his body was taken, all relationships had essentially started after sleeping together. So maybe something would change again after sleeping together.
“Okay.”
Even though Alexander would ultimately accept it, he had thought there might be some rebuttal, but Alexander’s actual answer was truly easygoing.
“Tell me anytime you feel like it.”
Alexander buttoned up Kalix’s shirt again, neatly arranged his disheveled clothes, then patted his chest a couple times with hands that held no ulterior motive. That face was so clean unlike just moments before that Kalix looked at Alexander somewhat blankly.
Just like this, the end? Really?
* * *
Kalix sat by the library window looking outside. In the end, Kalix decided to wait for Alexander at the library from now on. Alexander told Kalix to study while he was at it. Saying he seemed to not be studying much since they started dating. It was true, but too harsh.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
