“So that I could say these words to you.”
Alexander was too precious. Too precious for Kalix to dare possess. But even so, Alexander willingly said he was Kalix’s. As if prepared just for Kalix.
The only thing Kalix, who had nothing, possessed was more precious than anything else. Not because it was the only thing. Alexander was simply precious and dear in itself.
“And you’re not afraid of me anymore.”
As he said, Kalix was afraid of everything, but only Alexander wasn’t frightening. Because he knew Alexander would even hide his own tenderness for Kalix’s sake.
“Yeah.”
What words could reach Alexander? In reality, he knew no words were necessary. Because Alexander already knew. But if he had to say something, those words Alexander already knew.
“I like you too.”
At those words that came out again, Alexander very lightly pressed his lips to Kalix’s lips. Kalix didn’t push Alexander away. Because it was good. Anyway, whether confusing or bewildering, it was still good. Even so, Kalix said carefully.
“But dating is a bit different.”
Still, that should be done after the school year ended. That was safe, and Kalix wanted Alexander to be safe. He definitely thought Alexander would say something, but Alexander actually gave a hollow laugh and stepped back from Kalix, whom he had pressed against the wall.
“Of course.”
At the hand extended to him after those words, Kalix took that hand. Alexander led Kalix and moved toward their room. Kalix moved with such an Alexander. To our room, where Alexander was taking Kalix.
***
[Re-form]
When he unconsciously followed the tongue that sucked and lightly rubbed then withdrew again, grabbing and pulling Alexander’s arm, Alexander immediately pulled his lips away and withdrew his arm so Kalix couldn’t reach him.
“CC, you can’t.”
Yet Alexander moved the hand wrapped around Kalix’s nape, gently stroking Kalix’s chin with his thumb.
“Why?”
Alexander kissed him again. The lips that had briefly parted teasingly a few times finally touched deeply. Their breaths mixed, and Kalix didn’t even realize his body was leaning toward Alexander. And when that tongue touched his palate, Kalix grabbed Alexander’s arm again. When he tried to pull him closer, their lips parted again.
“Where do you think you’re going trying to touch when we’re not even dating?”
Alexander said this while this time leaning Kalix completely against the wall. So he couldn’t lean his body toward him. He felt wronged by that sharp action.
“Then what about you?”
Since saying they liked each other, he kissed him whenever there was a chance. Naturally it didn’t go beyond that, but they really kissed a lot. Usually Alexander would have Kalix sit down and then kiss him. Sometimes he’d approach while standing, but in all cases it only worked when Alexander approached first. Kalix was always stopped not just from kissing, but even when trying to grab somewhere when Alexander kissed him first.
“I want to date, so it’s okay. But you don’t, so it’s not okay.”
It was really a strange standard. But Kalix couldn’t say anything. Anyway, it was true that Kalix had said not to date yet.
“CC.”
Alexander had Kalix sit properly against the headboard, then said.
“Ask me to kiss you.”
Kalix glanced at Alexander a bit.
“Kiss me.”
It really wasn’t difficult at all. Because Kalix wanted to too. But Alexander smiled somewhat playfully.
“CC, you have to beg cutely.”
“What’s that?”
When he looked at Alexander incredulously, Alexander approached Kalix again.
“Right. Like that.”
Then he kissed him again. He didn’t do anything? But there was no chance to express his question. Kalix reflexively tried to embrace Alexander’s nape as he saw Alexander tilt his head slightly to the side, then deliberately clenched his fist. Alexander seemed to easily notice such signs, as he wrapped Kalix’s hand while gently sucking his tongue.
Alexander then made Kalix’s hand unfold as if tickling it gently, then intertwined their fingers. Then with his remaining hand, he stroked Kalix’s shoulder. Since they had barely touched beyond hands or nape even while kissing until now, when he reflexively flinched, Alexander reassuringly wrapped around his nape as always.
“Ah,”
When a faint sound leaked out from the stimulation of lightly biting the tip of his tongue then sucking it soothingly, Alexander rubbed their lips to make wet sounds ring out. He could feel his ears turning red instantly. His moist mouth held just the right amount of warmth, but his touching hand only became endlessly hot. Then when he followed Alexander who was withdrawing again, Alexander eventually pulled his lips away.
When he looked at those wet lips somewhat dazedly, Alexander just pressed their lips together as if pushing down. When Kalix licked between them trying to part those lips again, Alexander withdrew again without opening them. When he looked at Alexander feeling both disappointed and a bit hurt, Alexander smiled and briefly kissed his lips once more, then really withdrew this time.
Alexander patted Kalix’s hair a few times soothingly, then got up from where he’d been sitting half on the bed. And at the sight of him glancing down slightly, Kalix fumblingly pulled the blanket over.
“Should I leave?”
There were quite a few things to feel wronged about, but the most unfair thing was this. Alexander knew Kalix’s physical reactions very well. But Alexander himself, except for the first day, had never particularly reacted. Why only me. Even though Kalix couldn’t even touch and it was Alexander who was doing the touching.
“Do whatever you want.”
He wondered if it would have been less embarrassing if both of them were like this, but Alexander laughed at Kalix’s shrinking voice. At that sight, Kalix looked at Alexander without hiding his slightly dissatisfied gaze.
“Why are you okay?”
“Just kissing is usually fine.”
But when their eyes met again, Kalix immediately looked away slightly. He wanted to do it again, but Kalix shouldn’t.
“That time was so sudden and unexpected, that’s why it was like that.”
After those words that clearly referred to the first time, a subtle voice followed.
“CC, are you going to think about me?”
Kalix covered his ears with his hands. He could feel Alexander looking at Kalix’s ears while pretending not to.
“I won’t.”
He wouldn’t think about it, and he wouldn’t do what Alexander expected either. He was just going to suppress it. If he did it, he would definitely think about Alexander, and that would be rude.
“That’s too bad. I thought about you that time.”
When Kalix closed his eyes tightly while still covering his ears, Alexander briefly kissed the back of Kalix’s hands and left the room. Ah, I don’t know. Kalix recited the school song, and when that wasn’t enough, he dug up all the prayers he could remember and recited them silently.
* * *
Kalix had always hated all Academy events. Something always happened at those times. But if he avoided them, other things would happen instead. When his body was taken, the person who took Kalix’s body went out to the streets instead of participating in the Academy’s harvest festival.
Then he bumped into a strange person and ended up helping them, and absurdly, it turned out to be the son of some desert tribal chief. Why was he wandering around the plaza in another country so carelessly? Still, after dying once at Alexander’s hands, he did stay quietly at the Academy. That time he watched normally with Jasper, but even so, from Kalix’s perspective, it wasn’t a particularly good memory.
Kalix himself had already experienced the harvest festival once in his own body. But he didn’t really do anything special. He did look around with Bertram and Owen, but since he avoided almost everywhere, he couldn’t even remember what he saw. But during that time, he did remember seeing Alexander. Though it was just a brief glimpse in passing, so it wasn’t remembered in detail.
So now he regretted that. He should have looked more carefully. Unlike other departments that acted freely if they had no assigned duties, the military studies department mostly acted together at such events. The military studies department marches at the opening ceremony of the harvest festival, and Alexander said he wouldn’t participate this year either, just like last year. But he said he still had to wear his dress uniform and be with the military studies students like everyone else.
Kalix wondered if he would be able to find Alexander among people all wearing the same uniform, but his worries were pointless as Alexander immediately caught his eye. It was natural. Anyone could see he stood out alone. Even though they were all wearing the same uniform.
Alexander wasn’t even in the first row, but the fourth row. Yet he caught the eye at once. Probably he would immediately catch other people’s eyes too. Alexander was looking ahead expressionlessly, and perhaps because his eyes weren’t clearly visible due to his cap, his atmosphere was somewhat cool. The well-fitted uniform and neatly combed hair also contributed to that atmosphere.
At that sight, Kalix realized something. Actually, Alexander’s atmosphere wasn’t particularly soft to begin with. You couldn’t call it sharp, but his expression wasn’t particularly gentle from the start. Besides, his way of speaking was quite stiff in places and his gaze was direct, which made it more so.
But these days Kalix—actually, not just these days. From quite some time ago, Kalix had always thought Alexander’s atmosphere was gentle. Especially when he was talking to Kalix or looking at Kalix.
Alexander could now make Kalix’s heart race without even looking at him. In this case, Kalix was looking at Alexander, but even when that wasn’t the case, it often happened. Just thinking about him made it happen.
And then, suddenly Alexander looked around as if bored, and spotted Kalix. Perhaps Alexander was as unexpected as Kalix, because Alexander squinted slightly for a moment as if gauging whether it was really Kalix. Then, recognizing him, he smiled playfully, lifted his cap slightly, and winked one eye. That action instantly broke the dry atmosphere.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
