After saying that, Alexander briefly looked around at the people at the dining table once.
“If it’s not rude of me to speak first.”
He noticed. That Kalix was nervous. So he said this to divert attention.
“You don’t need to say such things. We’ve always been curious too, and we were waiting for when our child would tell us first.”
Kalix clenched and unclenched his hand that had been trembling slightly before he knew it. Fortunately, the trembling stopped quickly.
“Moreover, you’re a guest and friend that our child brought, so how could it be rude?”
“Thank you.”
Kalix looked at Alexander who answered with a polite smile. When their eyes happened to meet, Alexander smiled naturally and shifted his gaze again.
“Kalix has made many friends at the Academy, but this time only I came.”
“I see. Kalix, you’ve never told us about your other friends.”
Then the topic immediately shifted to the friends Kalix had made at the Academy. Though he didn’t realize it, this was the most suitable topic. Kalix’s stories could hardly be told, or it was fine to tell just a little. Moreover, rather than having to answer one person’s questions, it was less burdensome.
While Kalix was talking about his daily life at the Academy like this, he suddenly realized. I’ve been living not badly. How did that happen? At that moment, he met Alexander’s eyes. Alexander who had often supported Kalix’s words.
In all those moments when Kalix’s utterly terrible daily life became reasonably not bad, naturally, Alexander was always there.
* * *
But why Kalix? Deborah, whom he’d only known for a short time, was already calling him Debbie. Of course, that didn’t mean he liked those completely unrelated nicknames that Alexander always called Kalix either. If Alexander had really called Kalix by such a nickname even here, everyone would obviously have asked why he called him that. So it was fortunate that there wouldn’t be troublesome situations, but still, after he had always called him whatever he pleased.
And it was the same now too. His parents told him to take the guest Alexander around to show him the area, and Kalix had naturally been thinking that too. Moreover, it was better to spend more time away from the mansion.
When he asked last night, Alexander said anywhere was fine, but preferably somewhere quiet. Since it was summer, he hoped there would be few people, and somewhere he could rest. It seemed to be because the semester had been difficult. Since Alexander had come all this way for Kalix, he tried to help him rest as well as possible. He really did.
“Debbie, why on earth do you insist on coming?”
But Deborah ended up coming along too. The problem was when they were having tea together in the morning and Alexander said he would look around the area with Kalix when asked how they would spend today. Deborah immediately asked Alexander if she could come along too. If she had asked Kalix instead, he would have said no of course, but Alexander didn’t refuse. Though it would have been strange to refuse in the first place.
Though it ended up that way, even while riding horses because carriages were stuffy, Kalix urged Deborah to return quickly. Of course, Deborah didn’t listen.
“I’m a guest too.”
“You’re family.”
Anyway, Deborah came every time. If it was around here, she knew it as well as Kalix.
“You really won’t even let me say I’m disappointed?”
At those words mixed with laughter, Kalix looked at Alexander who was a little ahead. He had thought Alexander suited winter well, but in reality he matched summer perfectly too. Though he dressed simply because he was riding a horse, since he was with Kalix’s family anyway, his hair was more neatly arranged than at the Academy.
Since they shared the same room, he had seen casual clothes often on weekends, but it was rare to see him moderately formally dressed like now. When he went outside the Academy with Skylar on weekends, he seemed to dress up properly, but at that time they weren’t sharing a room and there was some distance.
That face clearly revealed by the breaking sunlight was calm, but in reality it had a corner like a famous painting, harmonizing with the tranquil atmosphere. Moreover, because of the light, his hair looked brighter than usual. What about his eyes? Because Alexander was looking straight ahead, those eyes weren’t properly visible, but maybe they would look clearer than usual. Or would they bloom blue-green like foliage?
At that moment, Alexander’s gaze suddenly reached him. Kalix momentarily avoided that gaze, then barely looked around. They had been going wherever the path led, but fortunately they hadn’t taken the wrong way. It was natural since it wasn’t far in the first place. Kalix was grateful there was a suitable topic to divert his attention.
“Alex, here it is.”
When he slowly stopped his horse, Alexander also stopped nearby. Deborah too. They had come to the riverside nearby. It was quiet and good for looking around. Anyway, Alexander seemed fine as long as there were no sounds of people.
Alexander got down from his horse and approached Kalix and Deborah. When he looked quietly, Alexander extended his hand to Deborah.
“Miss, your hand. Please.”
He was flabbergasted. Didn’t they decide to call each other by name? Using nicknames freely but now calling her miss again? And, please? The effect was so dramatic that a gentle smile appeared on Deborah’s face. Kalix had rarely seen Deborah smile in such a way. She always threw her head back and laughed with her whole throat visible, so what was this?
“Alex, she rides well.”
There was no need for anyone to hold her hand. She was someone who rode horses even to the mountains. But Alexander said with his hand still extended.
“That’s a separate matter.”
At those words, Deborah looked at Kalix once with a triumphant expression and took Alexander’s hand to get down from the horse. It would have been an elegant attitude to others, but Kalix frowned and watched that scene.
With me. Wasn’t he supposed to look around with me? That’s what we originally decided.
* * *
Hating to watch the two of them chatting, he lay down under a tree and suddenly heard someone coming next to him. When he lifted the cloth he had placed over his eyes to check, it was Alexander. Alexander asked through the sound of leaves swaying in the cool breeze.
“CC, is it boring?”
Now it was that nickname again. For some reason, he felt uncomfortable. He wondered what happened to Deborah and why he only came now, but Deborah was reading a book. Did he only come now because he had nothing to do? That must be it. Deborah must have been good. Everyone had always liked Deborah from before too.
Deborah was pretty and playful, but basically kind. Moreover, she matched well with whoever she was with and communicated well in conversation. Deborah had been popular since childhood, so when they were very young and didn’t know how to choose words, other children even scolded Kalix asking why only he played with Deborah.
So that must be it. Alexander must like Deborah too. Moreover, Deborah doesn’t act selfishly like Kalix and is kind, so he must like her more. Now that there’s no Skylar either, he might have thought to like her more.
“You came here because of me.”
The moment Kalix said those words, he wanted to jump into the river. It had been a long time since he felt this way. He hadn’t wanted to die for a while.
“But I don’t even look at you properly.”
But the words that came out to try to recover were also just childish. He was flustered by what he had said, but honestly it was true that he was displeased. It had been like that continuously since arriving at the territory. When Kalix showed too much awkwardness with his family, Alexander would come and help, but when he was with Deborah, he talked with Deborah.
Actually, it might be fortunate that Deborah was here now. Though he didn’t realize it until coming, in reality the place Kalix had brought Alexander was quiet and without people so Alexander could rest comfortably. So it was inappropriate for just the two of them. But since Deborah was there, it became relatively safe.
Yet he couldn’t think it was fortunate. Of course, it wasn’t that he disliked Deborah. Rather, if he had to say, he really liked her. Deborah was his relative, friend, someone he’d known for a long time, and they knew each other well. But that’s why it was like that. Because it was the first time with Alexander.
But now Alexander was sharing all the firsts he experienced at the Blackwood territory he came to for the first time not only with Kalix but with Deborah too. It wasn’t a reason to dislike it, but he could still feel a little disappointed. Anyway, since Kalix had invited him.
No matter what, he was aware that it was too childish. Very much so. Sufficiently. He tried to cover his eyes again stealthily, but he saw Alexander’s figure in his remaining peripheral vision. Alexander looked at Kalix like that with his head tilted slightly.
“CC. You’re always watching.”
With a gentle and affectionate smile.
“Always.”
His voice was just as warm. So all of it looked only warm. The hair and eyes that received light coming through the leaves, the calm yet natural smile, the languidly relaxed atmosphere. All of it was captured in his eyes like a single landscape.
It might be an illusion. In any case, Kalix loved and was familiar with the territory where he was born and raised. This place was the same. Because it was a place he liked, so maybe he was looking at everything a little more familiarly. But even so, some moments are often like revelations.
Alexander was quite a straightforward person. First, his way of speaking was like that, and his personality too. Most of his indifferent gaze as well. But all the ways you show me about yourself were seemingly indirect while having that much soft and affectionate warmth. Always.
Kalix closed his eyes again. His ears were hot.
* * *
The outing was refreshing, but somehow his mood was dampened. It seemed like he couldn’t get his bearings, and seemed listless too. Before sunset and dinner time, Kalix, who had returned to the mansion and was resting briefly, slowly got up from his seat and walked to the living room. Since Alexander who returned together wasn’t in the room, he was probably there. Would he be with Deborah?
“Kalix, want to take a short walk?”
But faced with Cyrus whom he met on the way to the living room, Kalix vaguely avoided his gaze.
“No.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
