When he still hesitated at those words, Alexander continued:
“CC.”
There was no particular emotion in it. It wasn’t urging, irritation, or anything—just a form of address, but ultimately Kalix followed those words, first opening the balcony door, bringing a chair to sit beside Alexander’s bed.
“Hand.”
What was he supposed to do with his hand? As Kalix held his hand up awkwardly, Alexander, still with his eyes closed, somehow found and grabbed Kalix’s hand in one go. Then he placed it on his chest.
He flinched for a moment, but Alexander just overlapped his hand so Kalix would keep his hand placed well.
“Focus.”
He looked at Alexander awkwardly, but Alexander’s expression was as comfortable as if he were sleeping. Looking at that peaceful face, he finally felt the slowly beating heartbeat beneath his hand. As he quietly focused on that slow yet regular heartbeat, he felt his own heart, which had been anxiously tightening, gradually regain a regular pace to match it.
“Why is he coming?”
At that voice, low and slightly cracked at the end from having just been sleeping, Kalix answered obediently:
“He says he needs to know if I’m doing well.”
At those words, Alexander finally opened his eyes again.
“You didn’t contact him during winter vacation.”
It was more of a statement than a question. Though Alexander showed no sign of anything, Kalix felt like he was being scolded and slightly lowered his gaze.
“I did.”
Notes:
Alex calls Kalix “CC”
Nicknames for Skylar Colby “Sky”
Nickname for Frederick Clifford “Freddy”
Nickname for Alexander Clifford “Sasha”
“What?”
“He said he’d be going to a friend’s villa during vacation so he wouldn’t be reachable.”
At that answer, Alexander spoke slowly with an understanding expression.
“No wonder I didn’t get a single letter from you while you were there. He didn’t tell you where, did he.”
“Yeah.”
When Kalix simply affirmed since it was true, Alexander closed his eyes again.
“He couldn’t not come. I was already worried about sending you off to a distant place, and on top of that, communication has been poor since you went there. I didn’t even know if you were doing well, so naturally I’d suspect something might have happened to you. Even if not, I’d want to check directly and see if you were doing well.”
Though it wasn’t a blaming tone, Kalix did feel stung by it.
“Still, it was hard to write letters casually and all that.”
When an excuse naturally came out in his tone, Alexander opened his eyes again to look at Kalix.
“Tsk, I’m not scolding you either.”
Kalix had thought it would just be an indifferent gaze, something said in passing, but Alexander’s eyes that he actually met held quite an affectionate light.
“That was the best you could do, wasn’t it. Why would I say anything about that.”
When Kalix fell silent, feeling awkward about that, Alexander continued to ask.
“When is he coming?”
“Next week.”
The Academy only allowed family visits on weekends anyway. Alexander would know the Academy rules better than Kalix, so he just looked like he understood on his own.
“He’ll probably look around this area anyway, right? I’ll stay with you too.”
At that nonchalant voice, Kalix glanced at Alexander, then asked carefully.
“Really?”
He knew he should naturally say it was fine and refuse, but in reality, he wasn’t fine at all. Alexander saying he’d stay with him was honestly reassuring too. Still, he wondered if it would be too much trouble, but Alexander answered calmly.
“Yeah.”
Along with those words, Alexander briefly grabbed Kalix’s hand that he had been resting his own hand on, then reached out to touch Kalix’s chest. Now Alexander’s touch didn’t bring unpleasant feelings anymore. Of course, if someone else touched him it was still the same, but Alexander was okay. Still, there was some bewilderment, so when he looked at the hand touching his chest, Alexander quickly withdrew his hand.
“You’re okay now.”
Alexander looked once at Kalix, who was staring blankly at him, then gestured with his eyes toward the balcony door where wind was coming in.
“Tsk, let’s close the door and sleep now.”
“Sorry.”
Since it was naturally embarrassing to have woken Alexander because he couldn’t even sleep alone, when he closed the door and returned to his bed, Alexander answered gently.
“Jay has had times like this often too, so it’s fine.”
Just when he’d finally become peaceful, now there was another problem.
“Times like this?”
His voice reflexively hardened a bit, but Alexander didn’t seem to notice Kalix’s reaction.
“He couldn’t sleep deeply. So when he’d come saying he couldn’t sleep, I’d let him sleep with me.”
“In the same bed?”
“Sometimes.”
Kalix looked intently at Alexander, pretending not to care. No matter how he looked, both his tone and expression were nothing but bland. But it wouldn’t have been Jasper.
“Until when?”
“Until fifteen, around then. After that, Jay must sleep well since he doesn’t come anymore.”
If it was until Alexander was fifteen, there was some room for understanding, but from the way he spoke, it seemed like it was until Jasper was fifteen. Why would you bother to let a fifteen-year-old sleep with you? Besides, Alexander and Jasper were only two years apart.
Even Cyrus and Kalix, who had a ten-year age gap, hadn’t slept together since Kalix turned five, even when playing. Of course, he’d never gone looking for someone in the middle of the night saying he couldn’t sleep either. But just as he was wondering how he could say “you really shouldn’t do that because it could lead to dangerous situations” without hurting feelings, Alexander’s voice was heard.
“Good night.”
Kalix quietly looked at Alexander for a moment, then answered.
“You too.”
Of course, it would be stranger not to trust family unless there was a special incident. But in Alexander’s case, when an incident came, it would be too late. Instead of taking care of others, he should take better care of himself. It was too worrying.
* * *
Finally, that day came. Kalix stood pressed close behind Alexander, who was sitting, staring at the reception room door. Originally Kalix had been sitting too, but as the time for Cyrus’s arrival approached, he became restless and eventually stood up.
Alexander was just watching such a Kalix without saying anything. Seeing how his gaze kept following wherever he walked, it was obvious he was observing. Kalix looked at Alexander, feeling a bit annoyed, but Alexander raised an eyebrow slightly as if finding it interesting.
Then suddenly, sounds of people could be heard from outside. Kalix tensely stared at the door. He knew it was something he had to face anyway, but he wished an accident would suddenly happen so Cyrus couldn’t come. Not a big accident—nothing where he’d get hurt at all, but just troublesome enough that he couldn’t make it on time.
But contrary to Kalix’s wishes, the door opened. And the face visible through it was truly familiar.
“Kalix.”
As soon as he saw Kalix, Cyrus’s face filled with a smile. But Kalix reflexively flinched and looked at Alexander. After confirming Alexander getting up from his seat, Kalix looked at Cyrus again. Tension rapidly surged.
“You came?”
He couldn’t even tell if his voice came out properly. Really, all he could think about was wanting to run away. Cyrus had never come directly to the Academy before. Of course, this time there was good reason for it, but still, he didn’t like unexpected things like this.
And this wasn’t even the end of it. Cyrus had come to see what kind of place Kalix was staying at. So he’d look around the Academy, at least briefly. Kalix would naturally have to be with him during that process. On top of that, he’d obviously be questioned about why he’d avoided contact so much until now. How should he explain that? No, even before getting to that point, just continuing to look at Cyrus’s face was difficult.
“Hello.”
As he could feel his heart beating faster and faster, Kalix looked at Alexander’s back at the sound of that voice. That back that had somehow moved half a step ahead of him, blocking between Cyrus and Kalix.
“Clifford, good to see you again.”
“I’m glad to see you too. Since Kalix is a new student and wouldn’t know the buildings well, I offered to help.”
“That’s not necessary, but since you’ve kindly offered to show us around, thank you.”
“It’s my pleasure to be helpful. Also, my name is sufficient, please.”
Hearing that ridiculously polite voice brought him back to his senses with absurdity. Even so, he couldn’t hide his tension and his hands had begun trembling finely without him realizing. When he clenched his hand once, Alexander moved his hand slightly without looking back and lightly tapped Kalix’s wrist.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
