“I said I don’t want to.”
“Then you’ll go alone?”
Alexander’s voice was only rational, to the point where it might have been better if it had been somewhat coaxing.
“You know this is something you have to go to.”
It wasn’t like Kalix didn’t know.
“I won’t help you die. If I don’t think you’re sufficiently okay, I won’t even tell you the way out.”
“I can go out on weekends.”
“You know you have to write down all destinations for outings, right? Even if you lie, you’ll get caught quickly. After exams end, after assignments are done, after promotion and retention announcements come out—do you think you’re the only one doing that? If they can’t manage that one thing, why would parents entrust their kids here?”
That was also right. That was also why Kalix was trying to secretly go outside. Knowing everything sufficiently, he grew increasingly annoyed at the voice pointing out things he already knew one by one.
“Kalix.”
Alexander knew Kalix’s mood was obvious, yet spoke nonchalantly.
“I told you. That it would get better.”
Alexander spoke with just as much conviction.
“I didn’t say it would unconditionally get better. Sometimes it’ll come back up again.”
Kalix finally realized. Alexander wasn’t speaking easily because it wasn’t his problem. Rather, it was words spoken without any doubt because he truly thought that way. Because to Alexander, that was truly natural thinking.
“But in the end, it gets better again.”
“That means it comes back up again.”
But even so, it wasn’t natural to Kalix. Still, upon realizing Alexander’s naturalness, his voice seemed to soften without him knowing.
“And then it’ll get better again.”
Everything Alexander said seemed to be an unquestionable belief for Alexander himself. As if it were just naturally what would happen.
“Let’s go together.”
Then really, did Alexander believe that Kalix would get better?
“Invite me.”
At those words offered once more, Kalix suddenly looked at the jacket Alexander had carelessly draped over his shoulder. Then carefully, at the hair whose ends were slightly damp, at the shirt whose collar was somewhat wrinkled. After realizing he had washed not long ago, that he was dressed for going out. And for someone who had washed and was about to go out, at the wrinkled shirt. Then at the tie peeking out from between jacket pockets.
Not about to wash and go out, but having washed and returned.
“Can you sleep with someone you don’t even like?”
“No.”
Even at the sudden question, the answer was immediate and firm.
“You shouldn’t sleep with someone you’re not even dating.”
At the words that came out as if obvious, Kalix continued to ask.
“Can you keep that promise for life?”
“Yes.”
It was still a voice with absolutely no hesitation. And at that gaze that looked as if there was nothing more to add, Kalix said impulsively:
“I’ll invite you. To my coming-of-age ceremony.”
If Alexander was someone who kept what he considered natural, then regardless of the outcome, maybe there would be no need to doubt the act itself. When he looked at Alexander with an anxious heart, a slow and faint smile spread across his face.
“Alright.”
* * *
In the end, he came to the territory with Alexander. But as soon as they arrived, they were busy preparing to make him presentable to others, so there was no time to think about anything. After being swept up in all that and getting fully dressed before going out to the banquet hall, Kalix knocked on the door of the room where Alexander was staying.
“Yes.”
At that short answer, when he entered the room, he saw Alexander fastening his sleeve buttons while dressed in full uniform. When Kalix entered the room, Alexander looked him up and down once and smiled with a bit of playfulness.
“You look just like a prince.”
Still with that same line. He knew that in political circles, people always misunderstood that his family, the Blackwood house, was trying to gain recognition as a duchy. Then he would roughly be treated like a prince. But in reality, including Kalix’s parents and all other relatives combined, there was no one who particularly wanted recognition as a duchy in the current situation.
He’d already told Alexander that it was all baseless rumors, yet Alexander said that was beside the point and made that comment as soon as they arrived at the territory. Even while taking the carriage that came to meet them after arriving at the train station, even when seeing the mansion, even when meeting the people who came to greet them—it was the same line throughout. When he was the one who really looked like a fairy tale prince.
“Then you are.”
At the words that came out bluntly, Alexander answered while adjusting his collar:
“A student.”
At that precise answer, Kalix looked at Alexander’s clothes carefully once more. He’d thought Alexander would wear the school uniform like usual for participating in such events, but right now Alexander was dressed in the military academy’s formal uniform.
He’d seen the military academy students wearing them as a group during the harvest festival, but this was the first time seeing Alexander wearing it up close like this. Perhaps because he had a well-built frame and good posture, it suited him well as always.
Maybe because Alexander was taller than those around him, he had a certain intimidating presence when expressionless, but perhaps thanks to his green eyes and brown hair, when he smiled the atmosphere became quite warm. Perhaps that’s why even dressed like this, he still looked more like a prince than a soldier or knight. Not an actual prince, but a prince who only exists in fairy tales.
“Did you talk to my parents?”
“Yeah.”
He answered first, but he hadn’t really talked properly. When they arrived at the mansion, his parents came out to greet them, so he introduced Alexander first, then immediately went to prepare for the coming-of-age ceremony. They did talk during the process, but it was things like hurry up and get ready, did you grow taller, didn’t you lose weight—those kinds of conversations. It was quite hectic too.
“What about your brother?”
“No.”
But ultimately, the reason Kalix could remain relatively calm was because he hadn’t met Cyrus yet. When he actually met him, he couldn’t know what would happen then. As Kalix’s mood instantly sank at the thought of Cyrus, Alexander suddenly asked:
“When was your birthday?”
“Two days ago.”
Usually coming-of-age ceremonies were held on birthdays, but for those attending the Academy, they often held coming-of-age ceremonies on the weekend when their birthday fell. When he obediently told him his birthday, Alexander took something out of his pocket, then held out his closed fist to Kalix.
When he just stared wondering what he was supposed to do, Alexander turned his hand so his palm faced up and opened his fist.
“A gift.”
Kalix looked back and forth between Alexander’s hand and face for a moment.
“What is this?”
He could tell it was a fountain pen. But this was obviously a fountain pen someone had used. Since he was giving it for his birthday, he took it from that hand first, and Alexander lowered his hand and answered:
“They say having that brings good luck. It’s quite historic.”
He almost asked if he believed in such things, but thinking about it, Alexander had believed that Kalix had been possessed and that he’d come back through time. He wasn’t someone who couldn’t believe in this.
“Did it work?”
Since Alexander had come all this way for Kalix anyway, rather than saying anything about it, Kalix played along.
“Yeah. I did well on my exams.”
It wasn’t because of this—that was definitely because he studied hard. Then whose hands had this item originally passed through? Was it really that old? As Kalix quietly looked at the fountain pen, Alexander continued:
“I thought you’d need it more than me.”
Kalix reflexively looked at Alexander. It wasn’t his imagination—he really seemed to have become a bit kinder. His guard instantly shot up, but even so, there wasn’t much longing in Alexander’s expression.
“Are you closer to me or to Dylan?”
“Dylan.”
At the answer without a moment’s hesitation, Kalix felt relieved. It was definitely the attitude of helping as a friend. Come to think of it, Alexander always just made a show of it, but he did wake Dylan up. Whenever asked to help with something, he always listened. It wasn’t that he was helping because Kalix was special to Alexander.
Having felt relieved, suddenly there came a knock along with a voice calling for Kalix. He’d told a servant that he was stopping by briefly to see Alexander, so they must have come looking for him now. So now he really had to go down to the banquet hall full of his relatives. Naturally, Cyrus would be there too.
The tension that had briefly loosened while talking with Alexander tightened again. Alexander looked at Kalix like that for a moment, then without saying anything, took the fountain pen he’d given from Kalix’s hand and put it in Kalix’s jacket pocket without permission.
“I’ll be somewhere you can see.”
It wasn’t very heavy—if he didn’t remember, he wouldn’t even know it was in his pocket.
“Call me if you need to.”
Even so, Kalix could feel its presence clearly.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
