The moment he said it, the desire he’d been holding back burst free. Love poured out in waves, and a desperate longing surged up from deep within. He felt as if something inside him had been unlocked, and for the first time, he had the vague sense that he might actually survive this life.
That overwhelming yearning, so full it felt like it filled his soul, had always suffocated Ressas. Heavy and unknowable even to himself, the emotion swelled like a tide—clogging his throat, pressing against his chest until it became almost unbearable.
Sometimes, he thought the weight of it would kill him. Still, he pushed through, always moving forward, ignoring the ache however he could. He endured every thirst with a single thought in mind: to keep Seiyad alive. But now, in this fleeting moment, Ressas realized something else—that he, too, was someone who wanted.
“Love me more than anyone else, Eid…”
He wanted to be loved. Not in any grand or extraordinary way—he just wanted someone, even one person, to truly see him. To acknowledge that he existed. He wished someone could love him, even if he was pitiful and flawed. Even if he wasn’t perfect—just as he was, as Ressas Solias.
And now, only now, did Ressas finally understand that he was loved. By the person he had wanted to protect even if it cost him the world—his idol, his beloved—and by the knights he had taken in and lived alongside. The people around him had accepted him. Welcomed him.
He had lived his whole life as someone who could never want, never hope. So much so that he didn’t know he was allowed to have desires at all. Having endured a life where even a glance earned scolding, he simply didn’t know how to be any other way. Desire was for people who knew how to want, and although he had always yearned deeply for love, Ressas had never dared to be selfish about it.
But now he knew. At least with the people who stood by his side—with those who cherished him—he was allowed to want things. He could speak his longing aloud, show it openly, and they wouldn’t hate him for it. Wouldn’t push him away.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
In fact, they might even welcome that side of him.
“I already love you more than anything, but from now on, I’ll love you even more.”
Nestled in Ressas’ arms, Seiyad lifted his head and met his gaze. A soft smile shimmered in his beautiful gray eyes.
The corners of his eyes gently curved, and the silvery irises gleamed with the glow of moonlight. The sight was so stunning it stole his breath away, and Ressas, momentarily overwhelmed, trembled with the realization that this miracle in his arms was his lover.
His heart felt like it might burst from the joy of it. Overcome, he cupped Seiyad’s face in both hands. His large palms cradled those delicate cheeks, and he lowered his head to kiss him. He swallowed Seiyad’s lips, catching the faint laugh against his mouth. There was no other way to describe it—it was a devouring.
With no thought for grace or restraint, he licked and sucked at the soft, dry lips, then pressed his tongue inside, breathing in Seiyad’s breath.
And in that moment—
He truly felt alive.
***
Time passed without them realizing it as they kissed. And as had become a habit whenever he was with Seiyad, Ressas started crying again. This time was no different—he wept mid-kiss, and it took a full hour of Seiyad soothing him before they returned to the banquet hall.
“I’m sorry, Eid. I kept you out in the cold for so long because of me.”
“Not at all, Your Highness. A precious person’s tears shouldn’t be shown to just anyone.”
Ressas felt guilty, especially knowing Seiyad had hardly eaten, and apologized sincerely. But Seiyad seemed completely unbothered. He simply kept touching the corners of Ressas’ reddened eyes with obsessive tenderness, insisting everything was fine.
Since the kiss, Ressas had been burning with a desire he could barely contain. As Seiyad touched him, he found himself wanting to pull those fingers into his mouth and bite down. He hadn’t tasted all of Seiyad’s body yet, but everything he had tasted was soft and sweet. His fingers would surely be the same.
What kind of expression would he make if Ressas licked and sucked on them? Would those thick eyebrows twitch with arousal? Would those eyes flush with heat—or would he frown in flustered confusion? Come to think of it, Ressas had never seen Seiyad flustered. There were still so many expressions he hadn’t seen. So many things left to do…
A dozen fantasies flashed through his mind in the span of a heartbeat, and his body reacted immediately. He glanced up at Seiyad, watching carefully as he toyed with the man’s hand.
…Eid, is it really okay for me to want things? To do what I want?
Because of what had just happened, Ressas finally understood the words Seiyad had said to him all this time. Before, he had only accepted them in his head, forcing himself to believe. But now, he felt them settle into his heart. Until now, he’d thought Seiyad was just being too kind—but now he knew. Seiyad had meant it.
He wasn’t afraid of monsters, or being injured, or even dying in battle. But doing something bold with Seiyad—that took real courage. And yet, because of the peace that now lay deep in his heart, Ressas moved instinctively. He took the hand that had been brushing his eye and pressed his lips into Seiyad’s palm. Then, parting his lips, he carefully tried to take a fingertip into his mouth.
Seiyad simply stood there, watching him silently as Ressas acted on his desire.
A charged tension settled between them. Ressas felt parched, as if something inside him was burning. He wanted—needed—to act.
And then, from the banquet hall, Cecilia’s voice rang out.
“Lyley, isn’t it fun?”
“Yes~!”
“Lady Cecilia, please, calm down…! You’re going to hurt yourself…!”
Laughter rang out along with Quilly’s frantic pleas. The lively, boisterous energy of the room poured out into the corridor, drawing both of their eyes toward it. At the mention of Cecilia’s name, it was impossible to ignore.
Seiyad narrowed his eyes and peeked inside. After a soft sigh, he gave Ressas an apologetic look and politely excused himself.
“Your Highness, I need to take a quick look inside.”
“Go ahead.”
A wave of disappointment swept through him, followed by a rising thirst—but it wasn’t hard to hold back. Ressas quietly suppressed the desire welling up and followed Seiyad into the banquet hall.
The first thing he saw was Cecilia giving Lyley a piggyback ride, parading him around the room.
“She’s drunk. She’s never had a sip before—who on earth gave her alcohol…?”
The moment Seiyad saw the state of his sister, he diagnosed the situation instantly. Like any protective older brother, he moved with cold precision to track down the culprit, eyes sharp. Watching him stride straight toward Quilly, Ressas smiled—then happened to glance around and spotted his knights.
Rigda, her cheeks slightly flushed, was already grinning at him. The knights followed her gaze and, the moment they saw him, greeted him with warmth and delight in their eyes.
“Your Highness! You made it! Come, have a drink with us!”
Vine, completely hammered and bright red from head to toe, shot to his feet and held out a cup. Mona, seated beside him, immediately scolded him.
“Vine, what kind of tone is that to use with His Highness?”
“What, and how are you planning to say it?”
“I’ve got it all down. Your Highness, if I may be so bold, may I offer you a humble cup of wine…?”
“The hell are you even saying, you idiot…”
As the knights began bickering again, Ressas couldn’t help but laugh quietly. The moment reminded him that he hadn’t yet properly celebrated with his knights after their hard-won return. Smiling, he made his way toward them. He pulled out the one remaining chair and sat beside Rigda, prompting a round of cheers.
“Thank the stars you’re safe, Your Highness!”
“There’s no way someone like you could be brought down—not by Nir’a, not by a demon!”
Now, finally seated face-to-face with their liege, the knights let their relief spill out under the cover of drunkenness. Sitting beside Vine, Sir Anka looked at Ressas with a gentle expression and respectfully set a cup down in front of him. Unlike the younger knights who were already deep into their drinks, Anka remained completely composed. His warm, steady voice rose clearly above the noise.
“You’ve grown so well, Your Highness.”
That simple praise, from the loyal old knight who had spent his life protecting someone the world had ignored—Ressas smiled from the bottom of his heart. It was something he’d never heard from his parents, yet somehow, the love he received from those with no blood ties felt no different than what one might expect from a family.
“It’s thanks to you. I mean it—thank you.”
When Anka smiled back at him, eyes slightly wet, Ressas raised his cup. He stared into the rich, sweet-smelling wine and caught a glimpse of his own reflection rippling on the surface.
He looked… happy.
It felt strange to have such a thought. Strange—but not unpleasant. Slowly, he brought the cup to his lips and drank, for once without the reflexive wariness that someone might’ve poisoned it.
The celebration stretched late into the night. As if making up for all the festivities Ressas had missed since waking, Seiyad instructed Kellaran to bring out all the ice wine stored in the castle. Quilly, worried but dutiful, helped his father serve it, while Seiyad remained seated at Ressas’ side, personally pouring each drink.
The one responsible for giving Cecilia alcohol turned out to be Vine. Given his track record for causing trouble, it wasn’t exactly surprising. As punishment, he found himself roped into a drinking match with Seiyad. The winner was, of course, Seiyad—beating him was impossible. No matter how strong the liquor, he never got drunk.
In the end, Vine collapsed in defeat, retching as he slumped over the table. Clicking her tongue, Rigda dragged him off to sleep it off. Meanwhile, Cecilia—who’d secretly started drinking again—tried to give Lyley another piggyback ride, only to be caught mid-act by Seiyad. Eventually, he declared it time to put his sister to bed and left the hall briefly with Quilly.
Ressas stayed behind, watching his knights slowly fall one by one, passed out across the floor, as he waited for Seiyad to return. It was a good night. He had never seen Seiyad so unguarded before—let alone Cecilia drunk. Watching these unfamiliar scenes unfold around him made it feel like they really were living in a future that had once seemed impossible.
“Your Highness!”
He was smiling faintly, scanning the banquet hall when Quilly came rushing over, breathless.
It wasn’t Seiyad—but Ressas rose anyway, unable to hide a flicker of disappointment.
“What is it?”
“I think… you’ll need to come collect His Grace. Lady Cecilia kept begging for more drinks, and the two of them started drinking together. Now I think he might actually be a little drunk.”
Quilly’s voice was worn thin. After spending the entire night wrangling the two siblings, he looked absolutely drained. Ressas felt a brief pang of sympathy—before blinking in surprise at what Quilly had just said.
Seiyad was… drunk?
As far as he could remember, not once had Seiyad ever gotten drunk.
