Da Capo 19

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Chapter 19

Blair accepted the pouch. The heavy pouch filled both his palms completely. Clara had business acumen. Unlike their parents’ generation where the merchant guild and the count’s household were combined, Theodore and Clara had split the count’s title and the merchant guild between them. In her 20s, Clara was at the stage where she was diligently working at the guild and learning the business.

Clara was a bold and capable woman. The Clara in her 30s that Blair knew had perfectly seized control of the merchant guild, slapping down the noses of cunning old foxes who looked down on her as a young girl, and managing the guild more efficiently than anyone else.

“Sister, I already receive an allowance separately.”

“Come on, that’s what our parents give you. This is what your sister is giving you, so take it separately. Buy delicious things, spend it frivolously, waste it and so on.”

Blair waved his hand in refusal, but Clara winked and folded his palm over the pouch.

“Alright, I will.”

Although he still couldn’t properly grasp the situation, Blair nodded for now.

“I have to go because I have an appointment for the next contract. Take good care of yourself, and let’s meet again before you go to the academy!”

“Yes, please go safely, Sister.”

After bowing respectfully and seeing Clara off, Blair stood in front of the mirror again. When Blair raised his right hand, the young-faced Blair in the mirror raised his left hand. Even after looking several times, the unbelievable scene made Blair raise his hand to pinch his cheek hard, which Clara had thoroughly squeezed. Gradually, he was beginning to feel a sense of reality in this unbelievable situation.

“Ouch!”

When he pinched with real force, red nail marks were left on his face. This isn’t a dream or a hallucination?

That’s when reality hit him like a wave.

No, that can’t be. It’s impossible. A person traveling back in time was something he had never heard of or seen before. Did I dream then? During that week I couldn’t wake up, did I have such a complicated and long dream?

No. What he had experienced could never be a dream. Blair shook his head firmly.

How could those countless memories be a dream? Meeting Aaron at the academy, meeting Kyle. Coming together with the determination to make Kyle emperor, and consequently traversing numerous battlefields. Kyle gaining military achievements, winning the succession dispute to become emperor, and himself becoming the first meritorious subject. After that, receiving the title of duke and the territory he had recovered—all these memories couldn’t possibly be dreams.

Blair wasn’t a person with particularly rich imagination. So this couldn’t be a dream. What he had experienced was real. Blair unbuttoned the soft navy blue pajamas he was wearing. Having experienced battlefields and crossed the line between life and death, his body had many scars of various kinds. Naturally, there were several wounds that had brought him to the brink of death.

But on the immature sixteen-year-old white body, no scars or wounds remained. Blair fiddled with his bandaged shoulder. Probably… there wouldn’t be any arrow marks behind this either. He couldn’t see or touch it, but somehow he was certain of it. If he wasn’t crazy, that is. Blair slapped his cheek hard.

Smack!

Having slapped himself properly, tears welled up in his eyes. It hurt. Blair was quick to grasp situations. It was an instinctive sense and judgment that had saved his life on numerous battlefields. No matter how he looked at it, this was reality.

“This is reality?”

It was so astounding that the words naturally flowed out.

“How can this be? No, is this really reality?”

Blair, who had roughly put on his top, paced around the room, dragging his slippers. After all those countless memories, he returned to being sixteen years old only when it was time to die? Combining what the physician said yesterday about his age and being one week before going to the academy, his current self would be sixteen years old in spring.

Cutting off half the age he had lived, how could this be possible? How can time be turned back? No, even if we concede a hundred times that time was reversed, what twist of fate allows all the memories of a thirty-three-year-old to remain intact? In fact, the timeline didn’t match up that well either. The last day he experienced was definitely the day of the hunting competition at the beginning of winter. But now it was suddenly spring. Small light green leaves were coming up at the ends of the trees in the garden.

What on earth is this?

Blair wandered around the room. No matter how much he thought about it, he had never considered wanting to go back to the past. To begin with, it wasn’t a life with much to regret.

Objectively speaking, it was a very well-lived life. In fact, he could say he had lived quite well, truly.

He had fully supported a promising prince and made him emperor, and in return received a title and territory. He had performed his official duties impeccably and was about to retire to look after his territory. Of course, there was some noise at the end of that process, but he had never been so deeply aggrieved that he would rage about wanting his time and youth back, nor had he ever refused to accept his fate.

It would have been better if he had looked after his territory and lived out his natural lifespan before dying, but jumping in front of the arrow aimed at Kyle was his own choice. Even that wasn’t something he regretted so deeply. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t disappointed by his long unrequited love that went unrewarded. But looking at his life as a whole, there wasn’t much to regret.

No, this might just be an excuse he was making to himself. Given that he had returned to the past, perhaps he had unconsciously regretted things enormously. At this point, Blair couldn’t even be confident about his own heart.

All sorts of thoughts came to mind. Returning to the mirror, Blair placed his hand on it. His hand in the mirror met his hand in reality. The self in the mirror felt unfamiliar. He couldn’t understand what desire he had harbored that brought him back to the past. The excessively young face felt very strange.

Who am I?

The plump face with baby fat still remaining, the fair cheeks, and the lanky limbs where the body’s proportions were not yet complete—none of it felt familiar. It was a fragile body that the adult Blair could have broken with one hand. Surely that face in the mirror was his face and that body was his body, yet it felt so unfamiliar.

It was a different feeling from the dissonance he had felt yesterday when seeing Theodore. After staring for a long time, Blair decided to leave the room and meet other people. It seemed like he could make a judgment about this reality then.

Having changed into casual outdoor clothes, Blair left the room. The House of Monetery was a family that managed a very large merchant guild. The family was wealthy enough that rumors circulated about them having bought their title with their overflowing wealth during the early days of the Crassia Empire. It was not uncommon to hear that they were the richest in the empire. Even to Blair, who had long been accustomed to the splendor of the imperial palace, the standard of the Monetery mansion did not appear low at all.

As he walked down the corridor with countless expensive paintings and decorations hanging, all the passing retainers and servants smiled and bowed deeply to him. It was like when he was the Grand General and Duke. But there was one difference. When he was the Grand General, there was only respect and awe, but the people here held affection for him. It was a kind smile that no one else could imitate.

Seeing those kind smiles suddenly made him feel elated. Clara and Theodore’s smiles were the same way. They were all expressions and tones based on affection. Blair’s steps gradually quickened. Suddenly, a sense of reality poured over his entire body. He desperately wanted to see his parents. Blair, who had almost flown, flung open the door of the Count’s office and entered.

“Father!”

The Count of Monetery, with soft purple eyes and graying hair, raised his head and greeted Blair, who came running into the room with a bright smile. The Count of Monetery rose from his seat to welcome Blair.

“Oh my. It’s our youngest. I wondered who was running here so urgently.”

“Father.”

Even his father’s face looked much younger than the face Blair had last seen. Back then, Blair had been much larger and more robust than his elderly father, but now his father’s shoulders looked as solid and broad as a mountain. His still small body nestled snugly in his father’s embrace. Receiving that warm body temperature, tears welled up for no reason.

“It seems our youngest has become more tearful after being sick.”

Parental intuition was remarkable; even though Blair didn’t raise his head to hide his welling emotions, the Count of Monetery immediately noticed Blair’s surge of emotions and patted his back.

“Father, Father.”

“Yes.”

Even at the age of thirty-three, even after achieving glorious military exploits on the battlefield, even as the most praised and beloved minister in the empire, even in a position second only to one and above all others, Blair had in fact always been a little lonely. He was a man like a solitary pine tree, but leaning on someone didn’t feel particularly bad. From his father came the scent of stability.

For reasons unknown, he seemed to have truly returned to the past. It was truly incomprehensible and an inexplicable phenomenon, but Blair decided to humbly accept this situation. Blair was very pleased with this picture—nestling in his father’s embrace acting spoiled, his brother coming to feel his forehead, and his sister giving him spending money.

Although he had been the strongest man in the empire, Blair was truly satisfied with what his weak sixteen-year-old body was experiencing. Blair’s lips formed a neat, rounded arc. His eyes were red.

Blair sniffled for a long time in his father’s embrace. The Count of Monetery continued to pat Blair’s shoulder until his crying subsided. He seemed to think that his still young son’s heart was shocked after a major accident.

“Being such a crybaby, how will I send you to the academy? Would you rather not go and stay with your father?”

The Count of Monetery, who handed a cup of mint tea to the now calmed Blair, teased his son with a spinning smile. As he accepted the warm mint tea, he began to truly feel that he had returned to the past. As he calmed down, his face, marred with tears, turned red. To think that he, who had been regarded as the empire’s greatest warrior, would sob so loudly in his father’s arms. It was embarrassing.

He was thirty-three years old. For other nobles, it would be an age where they might already have a couple of children. Returning to a young and weak body seemed to have made his heart tender as well. Blair shook his head at his father’s mischievous teasing.

[To be continued in the next part…]