Siwoo shook his head vigorously. He knew that many Alphas used Omegas as tools. But that was not right. Using an Omega, no, a person, for the purpose of satisfying desires was wrong. Siwoo collapsed onto the bed, gasping for breath, suffering greatly until the suppressants took effect.
Since then, Siwoo had never sent out a rut without taking suppressants in advance.
Even the feeling of the bed sheets against his skin was a stimulus. Lying on the bed, he felt as if he were dead, except for the fact that he had slammed his fist against the wall in unbearable frustration. To an outsider without traits, he might have appeared peaceful at first glance. He was drenched in cold sweat, but his closed eyes showed no movement; occasionally, he would bite his lip or furrow his brow, but he did not stir.
However, Sanho would know. He would know how fiercely the feral pheromones were raging beyond the closed door.
“…….”
Siwoo hoped Sanho was not nearby, but he could not shake the thought that Sanho would still be sitting idly outside the door. Sometimes, when it became unbearable, he felt a faint Omega pheromone that seemed to embrace him. His rationality was so hazy now that he could not organize his thoughts properly. However, he did not think he was mistaken. Fundamentally, the interaction between Alphas and Omegas was mutual. They broke down each other’s rationality, drew out each other’s instincts, but in the end, they healed each other’s brokenness.
“……Sanho.”
Siwoo whispered quietly while looking at the closed door. Even if Sanho was outside, there was no way he could hear his voice.
“…….”
But Siwoo continued to move his lips.
Perhaps it was out of worry. Just as he had welcomed his rut under Sanho’s influence, there was a high possibility that Sanho was also experiencing a heat due to his rut. Moreover, Omegas reacted more sensitively to pheromones than Alphas did. In malicious Omega clubs, it was common to deliberately expose Omegas to Alpha pheromones continuously, stripping them of their rationality and leaving only their desires to turn them into sexual playthings.
Though those with traits made up only 5% of the population, that 5% represented another world. In fact, it encompassed the entirety of the world.
How much time had passed? Perhaps a whole day had gone by. Since he had thought he sensed something sweet, Siwoo was once again pulled into the darkness.
The sunlight pleasantly caressed his cheeks. As he pushed up his eyelids, he saw bright light gently enveloping him.
Siwoo slowly sat up.
“…….”
His body felt surprisingly light, as if it were a lie. The rut was over.
He opened both hands. There were crescent-shaped nail marks on the palm of his tightly clenched fist. The bandage wrapped around his other hand was soaked with blood. He must not have noticed the wound opening because he had gripped it so tightly. However, strangely, there was no significant pain. Only a mild, dull ache remained.
Siwoo slowly gazed at the bedroom door. He quietly stared at the still-closed door, then cautiously turned the doorknob. With a click, the lock disengaged, and as the doorknob turned, the door began to open slightly.
“…….”
The first thing he saw was black hair. Next came neatly arranged eyelashes and lowered eyelids. Sanho was curled up at the door, breathing softly as he slept. It was easy to imagine that he had spent the time curled up at the door until Siwoo’s rut ended. Siwoo quietly bit his lip.
I really don’t understand this kid.
I don’t even know what this kid wants.
Does he want to sleep with me? Does he simply want to mix bodies with me?
If that’s the case, then why didn’t he just open the door and come in? The lock was on the inside of the bedroom, but if he had made up his mind to enter, he could have broken the doorknob to get in. It was blind enough to confine me. While it could be seen as the behavior of an Omega who simply wanted sex with an Alpha, Sanho’s actions were full of contradictions.
There must be something, a slightly different reason…
Then, what am I? What am I?
The contradictory behavior applied not only to Sanho but also to Siwoo himself. The questions he had tried so hard to ignore resurfaced in his mind.
If I decide to leave, I can get out of here. Even if it means grabbing this kid’s slender neck.
Siwoo bent down closer to the sleeping Sanho. Sanho’s body scent was quite similar to his pheromones. If Sanho’s pheromones were excessively sultry, his body scent was closer to a fresh feeling. It was the scent of fruit that had just begun to ripen. If bitten, it might still have a tart taste, not yet fully ripe. Siwoo’s fingertips brushed against Sanho’s black hair.
“…….”
Gently stroking Sanho’s hair, Siwoo let out a small breath. He slipped his arms under Sanho’s shoulders and knees to lift him up. He thought he wouldn’t be heavy, but he was much lighter than expected. That was a bit annoying.
Siwoo carefully laid Sanho down on the bed where he had just been lying. The resilient mattress pleasantly bounced.
“Sanho.”
Sanho’s breathing quickened slightly. Siwoo gazed down at Sanho, moving his lips.
“Did I like you?”
“…….”
“What were we to each other?”
“…….”
“Why do I want to hold you like this, and why am I holding back so much?”
“…….”
“Why… is holding you so terrifying? Remind me.”
As if he had been listening to Siwoo’s voice, Sanho slowly pushed up his eyelids. The focus in his dark pupils was blurry, but upon discovering Siwoo, it quickly began to clear.
“……Hyung.”
“…Yeah.”
“Do what you want to do the most right now.”
“…….”
“Don’t think about anything. Just do what your heart desires right now.”
“…….”
“…….”
“…….”
After staring at Sanho for a while, Siwoo slowly leaned down. Sanho’s porcelain doll-like face came closer. Just when he thought a short moment felt like an eternity, Siwoo’s lips gently met Sanho’s.
“…Hyung.”
“…….”
“I want to know too. If you liked me.”
“…….”
“Or if you just felt sorry for me.”
“…….”
“It’s okay if you don’t remember.”
“…….”
“I remember everything.”
Memory.
Yes, that memory. The one Siwoo lost in an accident. It all began a year ago.
