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“A statement?”
Juyeon spoke in a careful yet thoughtful voice.
“To quell unfounded speculation and false rumors, the only option is for you to address it directly. Right now, you’re just mentioned together as lovers, but there’s no guarantee it will stay that way in the future.”
“Hmm…”
“Since the production team has decided not to protect Lee Chan anymore, we can’t guarantee how Lee Chan will act from now on. There could be bigger problems.”
Seeing his serious attitude, it seemed Juyeon had similar experiences before. Those people are all celebrities and even famous, so they’ve probably dealt with these situations many times.
“What you’re saying makes sense, Juyeon-ssi.”
To me now, Lee Chan is just someone who becomes more troublesome the more I’m associated with him. I’d like to quietly distance myself and pretend we have no relationship, but the world won’t accommodate my wishes so easily.
“He’s not the type to help me stay quiet.”
Now that he knows I won’t take his side anymore, he’ll be searching for ways to protect himself. I couldn’t guarantee that this process wouldn’t involve messy public disputes or cowardly blame-shifting.
After pondering briefly, I nodded.
“Even if not right away, I think the time will come when it’s necessary. But… Juyeon-ssi, these statements are usually posted on social media, right?”
“Yes. Usually on Stargram. Oh, do you not use social media?”
“…I’ve never used it before.”
Since we were on the subject, he suggested we create an account right away, so I quickly took out my phone. It seemed better to get it done while I had someone to help me.
It was just creating an account, but it seemed so complicated. Still, after wrestling with it for a while, we managed to produce something decent.
“Shouldn’t you upload at least one photo? I can help you find other people’s accounts too. I followed a few people myself.”
When I put my phone away, Juyeon asked with a puzzled expression. I shook my head with a smile.
“I’ll do it when my mind is clearer.”
Not now. Even though I hadn’t drunk much, the intoxication seemed to be hitting me faster than usual. On days like this, when I might do something reckless, it was best to do nothing at all.
“People still remember me as Jin Woohyeon’s lover.”
Even if the time came when I really needed to write a statement, I had no intention of posting it unilaterally. I planned to discuss how to write it with Jin Woohyeon, or if that wasn’t possible, at least consult with his manager.
We had one more drink each before parting ways, because we both had someone waiting for us at home.
[text]
I’m almost there. I’ll be home soon.
As I got off the bus and trudged along, I sent the text message and came to an abrupt halt.
‘I think I lack confidence in myself.’
The words I heard from Juyeon at the bar kept ringing in my ears. I don’t understand why that single sentence, something about someone else’s situation, felt so much like my own.
“Maybe it’s because I’m not feeling well…”
My insides felt unsettled, as if I’d drunk too much, or was coming down with something, or had too many thoughts. It felt like things that had been stuffed beyond capacity were about to burst out, screaming.
I was like that too. I’m just like Juyeon. I care so much for the person by my side, and I want to stay with this dreamily affectionate person for as long as possible.
But, I seem so insignificant next to that person. Because I lack confidence in myself, it keeps bothering me.
I trust Jin Woohyeon, and I believe he’s a good person… but when I imagine spending a lifetime with him, I feel a strange anxiety. Is it because I know so little about Jin Woohyeon compared to how much I’ve revealed about myself, from my uncle’s situation to my relationship with Lee Chan?
My headache made my head feel heavy and dull. I returned home with my face scrunched up in discomfort. Jin Woohyeon, who approached with delight at the sound of the door lock opening, was so surprised that he peered closely at my face.
“Hyung, are you sick?”
“…”
“Are you drunk? You look pale. How much did you drink?”
“Not much…”
One bottle between two people isn’t even half of what I normally drink. Yet my vision was spinning and my insides felt hot. It seemed even worse now that I was leaning against Jin Woohyeon, perhaps because the tension had left my body.
“Thankfully I’m home today. Would you like to sit on the sofa?”
While I sat dazed on the living room sofa, he busily moved between the kitchen and bathroom, gathering various things.
Strangely, I could feel his every movement. Even with my eyes closed due to dizziness, I could sense him. I’d have to say I was detecting his presence through pheromones that felt more distinct than usual.
“Sanho Hyung.”
Jin Woohyeon, kneeling on one knee in front of the sofa, gently stroked my cheek. Soon I felt something warm and damp softly wiping from my forehead to the nape of my neck. He must have dampened a towel with warm water in case I found it bothersome to wash up.
“Is your stomach okay? Should I go buy something for the hangover?”
“It’s fine…”
“You seem quite drunk. Your pheromones are stronger than usual, Hyung.”
“Really?”
I turned my head, buried my nose in his shoulder, and sniffed. I thought I could faintly smell lemon, but that was it.
“Yours too.”
Your pheromones are so strong I can see you clearly even with my eyes closed. At first I thought you were trying to seduce me. I was about to say this but stopped myself. Somehow it seemed like it would sound foolish.
He brought pajamas too and skillfully changed my t-shirt. Throughout the process of carefully wiping my exposed arms, hands, knees, and ankles with the towel, Jin Woohyeon showed no sign of annoyance or dislike.
“…Hey, Woohyeon.”
I looked down at him as he placed my foot on his thigh and massaged my ankle, pressing it firmly.
“Yes. Tell me.”
Instead of looking at me, he focused more on my foot. Seeing him slightly furrow his brow, my ankle must be swollen.
Even though we’ve only been together for a few months, he seems to know my body better than I do.
As I gazed at Jin Woohyeon, I said in a small voice:
“Sometimes I think… isn’t our relationship a bit unfair…”
His hands, which had been languidly wandering around my ankle bone, stopped. His eyes, wondering why I was saying this, attached themselves to the vicinity of my cheek.
After a moment of silence, Jin Woohyeon answered:
“I suppose it is, in a way.”
“…”
“Our relationship is indeed unfair.”
I felt my heart drop.
Jin Woohyeon had always devoted all his spare time to me. He was kind as if it were natural, and paid attention to even the smallest details to an extent that might seem excessive.
At some point, we became accustomed to meeting at my place. When we went grocery shopping, we used Jin Woohyeon’s card, and sometimes he would come back with both hands full of purchases.
And that’s not all. He wanted to know everything about me, so he would always lay me down beside him and shower me with trivial questions. How was my day, whether any strange customers came, what the new seasonal menu at our restaurant was and what we were planning next. From my favorite cocktail to what dream I had yesterday, even utterly useless stories.
And so, in our relationship, Yoo Sanho’s presence became more important, while Jin Woohyeon’s presence became quieter.
‘That shouldn’t have happened.’
Regret washed over me. Why did I let this happen when I knew what happens when one person’s existence gradually fades in a relationship?
My heart raced with worry and anxiety. Perhaps noticing my agitation, Jin Woohyeon furrowed his brow.
“What’s wrong? You’re…”
“What should we do so our relationship doesn’t become unfair?”
“Sanho Hyung?”
“I want to be with you for a long time… But for that to happen, we can’t continue like this.”
My vision was blurry. Unlike my mess of a state, he seemed quite calm, yet his scent seemed to hit me more clearly.
“How should I change? What should I do…”
‘For guys like Jin Woohyeon, dating is just like a fleeting dream.’
‘I wouldn’t be surprised if those kinds of kids go back to America when it’s time to inherit the company. Kids from well-off families are always like that.’
“What do I need to do for you not to leave… to stay by my side?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
