#110
“It’s not the first time I’m hearing this, though…”
Jin Woohyeon muttered, quietly looking down at our clasped hands. He gently rubbed the back of my hand with his firm fingertips, then looked directly into my eyes. It was a gaze as if measuring something.
“If you say it with that kind of face, it makes me want to misunderstand, hyung.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by “that kind of face,” but I was certain that what he was thinking wasn’t a misunderstanding.
I swallowed my dry saliva and gathered courage to answer.
“It’s exactly what you’re thinking.”
He might have wanted to say it like a joke and move on, but I was very serious.
“I don’t mean just sleep for a bit and go.”
“…Mm, shall we go in first?”
The fortunate thing was that Jin Woohyeon didn’t refuse. Rather, it was the opposite. In his dark pupils was a longing he hadn’t yet sorted out, and it had some resemblance to the hope I had. And it was also what I was most looking forward to right now.
As soon as the front door closed behind us, I rushed at Jin Woohyeon. When I grabbed his shoulders with both hands and lifted my heels as high as possible, he tilted his head slightly to make it easier to press our lips together.
When his nose tip pressed against my cheek, it felt like the inside of my throat was being squeezed ticklishly. I closed my eyes tightly and pressed our lips together.
Just as my tightly closed lips parted slightly and our hot breaths were about to mix.
“Why is our hyung so urgent today, especially.”
Jin Woohyeon, who held my cheeks and pulled his head back slightly, whispered.
“If you swallow anything too quickly, you’ll get indigestion.”
He pressed my lower lip lightly with his thumb and then gently sucked on my upper lip.
“Did something happen?”
“…Woohyeon.”
“It’s okay, so tell me. I’ll listen.”
It was a gentle voice like soothing someone who had woken up startled from a bad dream.
“We decided to stay together all day today.”
Suddenly Lee Chan’s words came to mind with a stinging sensation.
‘Being by your side only when needed, Jin Woohyeon is exactly the same in that regard.’
‘For guys like Jin Woohyeon, dating is just like a dream you have for a moment.’
I didn’t want to be shaken by just a few words, but they kept lingering in my ears. I wanted to ignore them, but my heart wouldn’t listen and kept burning inside.
Woohyeon. Is our love really just a dream we have for a moment?
They say nothing in the world is eternal, but still, I hoped we could be together for a long time. Because there’s only one person like you, and that’s why I wanted to welcome the seasons of this earth with you even one more time.
Lee Chan spoke as if staying by someone’s side out of need was a bad thing, but I didn’t see it as entirely negative. The essence of all relationships is ultimately about need, and love has the strongest power among them.
If Jin Woohyeon stayed by my side because he needed me, I wanted to be someone who could give him even one more thing. Just as he walked into my life for the reason of love and became change and healing for me, I wanted to become the only lover who could fill his romantic needs.
“…I was thinking it would be nice if we could be more like lovers.”
“We’re already enough like lovers. Only hyung doesn’t know how affectionate you are to me.”
“Not just being nice to each other.”
I said as if making excuses while being held by him.
“Something more… closer to a common form of lovers. Without any particular problems…”
“Hmm.”
“I wanted to pick up the pace a bit.”
My relationship with Jin Woohyeon was gradually improving. From my perspective, it couldn’t help but be remarkable growth. Honestly, I had never imagined that I could get close to someone by taking steps so carefully like this, while simultaneously gradually lightening the baggage from the past.
But this was only from my perspective. Jin Woohyeon, who lived at the same pace as others and had the same desires as others, might just be waiting for me all the time.
Of course, I believed this difference in pace wouldn’t disrupt our relationship. I just wanted to make an effort for him, just as Jin Woohyeon had compromised for me.
“A common form of lovers…”
He led me to the bathroom. He stretched out his arms as if embracing me from behind as I stood in front of the sink, and brought our clasped hands under the faucet. Cool water flowed down, washing away the cold sweat that had been pooled abundantly in my palms.
Despite my brave words, my body seemed to have been tense. The heartbeat I felt belatedly was also beating fast enough to be breathless. I felt a bit embarrassed somehow.
“You must be worried about tomorrow’s schedule.”
Tomorrow was the day of the follow-up filming for ‘Can Love Be Transferred Too?’
This was the second filming since leaving the house. However, it was a bit different from the individual filming we did to show our daily lives after the final choice. It was said to be a gathering where not only other participants but also panelists would come together to watch and discuss the main scenes that appeared on the broadcast.
It also meant going out as lovers who had chosen each other and were living together, not as ‘Lee Chan’s ex’ and ‘Alpha scapegoat.’
“You don’t need to force yourself to fit other people’s standards.”
He rested his chin on my shoulder and gently rubbed my hands.
“Of course I like hyung. It’s also true that I want to touch hyung. But that doesn’t mean I want to hurt you.”
That’s why we decided to take it slowly, Jin Woohyeon whispered.
“I think we’ve agreed several times not to push ourselves. Right?”
“That’s right…”
I moved my wet hand to interlock our fingers tightly and answered quietly.
“I wanted to try hard.”
“…”
“It’s not that I dislike it because I’m scared. I wanted to make an effort to get better. Because I also like being with you…”
I continued while fixing my gaze on the bluish veins protruding on the back of his hand.
“Woohyeon.”
There’s no point in beating around the bush. If I’m not honest, there will definitely be problems.
“I want to sleep with you.”
I want to cross the long night and welcome the morning with you. I want to give my night to you, who willingly embraces even my fears. I want to overlap body and mind with you, counting the hundreds and thousands of textures that love can have, from the most abstract love to the most intimate love.
To the words I conveyed with such feelings, Jin Woohyeon responded with an embrace.
“Good.”
“…”
“I like it so much that I’m worried you might be pushing yourself too hard just to say something nice to me.”
Warm heat was transmitted through my palms. When I tilted my head back slightly to look up at him, a slightly deeper longing than before was rippling in his dark eyes.
“Then today, since you’ve made up your mind, shall we have hyung try a little harder?”
Instead of answering, I closed my eyes. Soon our lips were deeply intertwined. Soft body heat filled my mouth, slowly swept between my teeth, and then tangled with my tongue. Clinging close as if not allowing even an inch of gap, he sweetly swallowed the sigh-like moans that escaped from me.
My attention scattered in an instant from the denser contact than usual. When I staggered a bit, Jin Woohyeon firmly held my waist and made me lean my back against his chest. When I adjusted my posture, our lips separated slightly.
“Sanho hyung. Please make one promise with me.”
I seemed to know what the unspoken request was. I whispered softly while holding onto his arm.
“If I’m scared beyond what I can bear, I’ll tell you.”
“…”
“This much is okay.”
If I broke out in cold sweat, I could just wipe it off like before. If I got out of breath, I could rest for a moment, and if I lost my balance, I could lean on him like now.
I could still endure it. I wanted to endure it. Hope was raising its head that maybe today, just a little might be possible.
“As much as possible…”
Jin Woohyeon answered in a voice that felt somewhat subdued and rough.
“I’ll try to go slowly. Still, if you think I’m crossing the line…”
He tilted his head and pressed his lips to my nape. A stinging sensation spread, and soon a soft, warm tongue touched the bitten area.
“You can bite me, step on my feet. It’s okay to push me away with your whole body.”
“…Mmhm.”
I felt the arm that had been holding my waist move, and then his hand slipped inside my shirt.
When I stiffened for a moment at the touch that explored my chest and then slowly came down to wander around my navel area, Jin Woohyeon kept making soft kissing sounds as he pressed his mouth to my nape.
“It’s okay. I won’t go all the way, just with hands. Since you need to get used to it…”
“…Release just a little pheromone.”
I took a deep breath and relaxed, leaning against him. With a clinking sound, my belt buckle came undone.
Soon, pheromones resembling rain-soaked dawn earth poured over my entire body.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
