# Chapter 80
“Mr. Han Seungho, let’s try cooking together next time.”
He needed to figure out what was wrong so he could stop Seungho from ever touching a knife again. Hiding his true thoughts, he spoke soothingly, and Han Seungho immediately grinned. He was such a simple person.
“Hajin, the boxed meals we bought will get cold.”
“Ah, right.”
He had completely forgotten about the packaged food because of the three men who had pounced on him as soon as he crossed the threshold. They focused their attention on it, knowing that Hajin had bought it.
“Did you buy this for us?”
“Cha Jinwoo paid for it, though.”
Having forgotten to bring his wallet, Hajin had no choice but to borrow money despite being the one who suggested buying food.
Hajin said he would pay him back later, but Cha Jinwoo had seriously told him not to use such expressions between them, so Hajin had to back down for now.
“Hyuuung….”
“Thank you, hyung. I’ll eat well.”
The three of them thanked Hajin even though it was bought with Cha Jinwoo’s money.
Worried that Jinwoo might feel bad, Hajin glanced at him, but when their eyes met, Jinwoo simply smiled slightly, and fortunately didn’t seem upset.
More precisely, Cha Jinwoo was just paying more attention to Hajin than the other three, but Hajin, unaware of this, simply felt relieved and moved on.
The three men ate the boxed meals as if they had been starving for days. Now that Hajin had returned and they were stable both physically and emotionally, hunger had finally caught up with them.
Seeing even Cha Jinwoo focusing silently on his meal, Hajin stood up to get them some water.
“Where are you going?”
“Why are you leaving?”
But as soon as he stood up, they tracked him with their eyes, asking where he was going and why, forcing him to quietly sit back down.
Even when he said he was going to bring them water, they told him it wasn’t necessary and asked him to just stay beside them, making it awkward to insist on leaving.
After that first attempt was blocked, he didn’t particularly try to leave his seat again, but the Alpha Team, anxious for some reason, hurriedly finished their meal.
It was separation anxiety, but Hajin felt the same way.
They spent a long time together in the living room. They weren’t constantly talking during that time, but until late into the night, they remained in the same space, imprinting on each other that they were there.
“Yaaawn.”
Only when the time approached one in the morning did they finally return to their respective rooms. In fact, the Alpha Team wanted to sleep in the same space as Hajin, but he refused, insisting on sleeping alone.
‘Hmm… maybe I should have said we could sleep together after all.’
However, Hajin, who had firmly refused, was now lying in bed, unable to fall asleep for two hours. Of course, he was extremely sleepy. But no matter how much he closed his eyes and emptied his mind, he couldn’t fall asleep.
Even though this was clearly his room, lying alone in bed staring at the ceiling made him confused about whether he was at the Association or with the anti-government forces.
Thump-thump. His heart beat more anxiously rather than calming down as time passed, and just as he was about to get up to try sleeping in the living room instead…
Click. With the small sound of the doorknob turning, the door opened and someone entered.
“Mr. Baek Jaan?”
“…You’re still awake.”
It was Baek Jaan, looking quite downcast. Hajin awkwardly raised his upper body to sit up. Baek Jaan, who had stealthily opened the door, now stood pitifully at the threshold, not crossing it, staring at Hajin.
“Can I come in…?”
“Ah, yes. Please come in.”
When Hajin gave permission, Baek Jaan cautiously approached the bed.
“Can I sleep here just for tonight?”
He had even brought his pillow neatly, suggesting that if Hajin had been asleep, he might have planned to secretly sleep beside him and leave.
Normally, Hajin would have scolded him for sneaking in, but he was feeling the same emotions.
So instead of scolding him, Hajin moved his body to the edge of the bed, making room for Baek Jaan. Baek Jaan put down his pillow and carefully lay down on Hajin’s bed.
“Good night, hyung.”
“Good night to you too, Mr. Baek Jaan.”
Though the presence behind his back could have been bothersome, Hajin instead felt reassured and gradually drifted off to sleep.
Just as he was about to completely fall asleep, surrendering to drowsiness, Baek Jaan seemed to move behind him, and a strong arm wrapped around his waist.
For a moment, Hajin’s sleep fled and he tried to turn his head, but feeling the pounding from the firm chest pressed against his back, he closed his eyes again.
Then, the heartbeat he felt against his back gradually slowed down and stabilized.
‘Ah… I’m sleepy.’
As he focused on Baek Jaan’s heartbeat, the drowsiness that had fled returned. Worrying that this might become a habit, Hajin slipped into sleep.
Confirming that Hajin was asleep, Baek Jaan pulled him closer into his embrace with a bit more force. Hajin’s scent, heartbeat, and soft breathing came to him more vividly than ever before.
It was more effective than any sedative. Feeling like he might cry for some reason, Baek Jaan buried his lips in the crown of Hajin’s head.
‘I’m scared. What if I lose hyung again?’
Having lost Hajin once, Baek Jaan had viscerally realized that he couldn’t live without him. What should he do if Hajin went to a place where he couldn’t return?
The answer to that question was rather simple. In a world without Hajin, there would be no reason for Baek Jaan to live. But what if Hajin left of his own accord or went somewhere he couldn’t be retrieved?
No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer to that. At first, he had planned to hide Hajin in a place no one could reach once he got him back.
But when he actually faced the returned Hajin, he couldn’t do it. Because Hajin would dislike it.
That scared Baek Jaan more. He was tormented by the dilemma of being unable to do anything Hajin would dislike, yet fearing losing Hajin again.
Unable to reveal his burning anxiety, he simply pulled Hajin closer in his arms.
As if doing so would prevent him from losing Hajin.
But perhaps he had unconsciously applied too much force. Hajin, who had been sleeping soundly, opened his eyes. Awakening to the discomfort, he gently patted the arm tightly wrapped around his waist.
“…Why are you still awake?”
“…I can’t sleep.”
Hajin asked in a drowsy voice, and Baek Jaan answered in a still-clear voice.
The patting hand slowed, and though Hajin seemed about to fall back asleep, he turned his body at the sound of Baek Jaan’s voice. Baek Jaan, now facing Hajin instead of the back of his head, flinched in surprise.
“Sleep… it’s late…”
Though he was about to fall asleep, Hajin’s eyes remained closed as he pulled Baek Jaan into an embrace and patted his back, urging him to sleep quickly. The rhythm of the patting was out of sync with his heartbeat, which was actually more disruptive to a sensitive S-rank Esper, but Baek Jaan tightly closed his eyes.
“Hyung… don’t go anywhere anymore.”
Having unconsciously blurted out his true feelings, Baek Jaan bit his lip. It wasn’t Hajin’s fault, but he had spoken as if blaming him. All of this had happened because he hadn’t protected Hajin properly…
Worry swept through him about how Hajin might get angry.
“N-no, that’s not what I meant…”
Just as he hurriedly tried to salvage the situation, Hajin murmured:
“I won’t go…”
At that answer, Baek Jaan’s mouth closed tightly. When words of comfort rather than blame came out, he felt a bit more greedy.
But fearing that Hajin might come to dislike him if he expressed this greed, he quietly pretended to be asleep.
As if reassured by the answer, he closed his eyes and quietly exhaled, but somehow knowing this, Hajin continued:
“You all are the only people I can trust… so I won’t go anywhere…”
Trust. Perhaps it was the emotion most familiar to Baek Jaan in his life, and the word he had heard most often. A team composed only of the strongest among S-rank Espers. As a member of that team, people had always given him their trust.
‘I’ll trust only you, Esper-nim!’
‘I’ll be counting on you.’
He had heard these words so often they were etched into his ears, and trust had been an incredibly shallow emotion for Baek Jaan.
“You… trust me even though I couldn’t protect you?”
But why did Hajin’s trust feel so heavy? It was so heavy that even breathing felt burdensome.
“You came to rescue me.”
The voice that had been fading as if about to go out suddenly became clear. Lowering his head, he found himself looking into Hajin’s eyes, which had somehow raised to meet his.
Perhaps their conversation had awakened him, as Hajin’s pupils shone clearly.
He was too close, making it difficult to maintain eye contact. Baek Jaan tried to move a bit away, but as soon as he started to distance himself, Hajin pulled him back.
Finally, Hajin continued speaking with his face resting against Baek Jaan’s chest.
“And you didn’t fail to protect me in the first place. It’s impossible to be together 24 hours a day without a second’s rest. No, you tried to do that, but I was the one who refused.”
Despite Hajin’s efforts, Baek Jaan’s mood showed no signs of improving. This was because not being apart for even a second was exactly what Baek Jaan wanted.
“But if you ask if that’s my fault, I don’t think so.”
“Of course not. You did nothing wrong, hyung. I was… mmph.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
