* * *
After leaving the clothing shop, the two men moved to a nearby restaurant at Assad’s suggestion. By the time they returned to their lodgings, it was complete night, all color having faded from the sky.
Assad hesitated momentarily at the caretaker’s offer to put away their belongings in the dressing room. But he soon handed over the box containing Cayden’s new clothes to the caretaker. He likewise surrendered the box holding the clothes he had worn to the clothing shop.
His hands suddenly free, Assad stopped in front of the stairs. He abruptly extended his hand to the puzzled-looking Cayden.
“Take my hand, senior.”
“…I can go up by myself.”
Cayden’s voice was tinged with bewilderment.
It was difficult to meet Assad’s eyes as he acted like they were truly colleagues working together. The brightly smiling man felt like a different person, creating a strange feeling. Literally, it felt as if a junior colleague had materialized out of nowhere.
“Let’s pretend I can’t go up alone.”
“…”
“You need to hold me so I can climb the stairs.”
As if unwilling to wait any longer, Assad snatched Cayden’s hand. Though his eye color and manner of speaking differed from the usual Assad… the temperature of his hand remained the same. He was as hot as Helio’s midday sun.
Cayden climbed the stairs slowly, following Assad’s pace, which was more measured than usual. The magical stones’ light showed off their presence amidst the deep blue darkness.
Not a single word passed between them. Yet there was no anxiety at all.
Cayden stopped in front of the bedroom where he would rest. After confirming that the estate’s employees and caretaker weren’t following, he offered Assad a brief thanks and goodnight greeting. Using formal speech again as before made him feel more at ease.
Responding with only a smile, Assad opened the door for Cayden. Once more, Cayden felt grateful for Assad’s kindness. However, both the comfort and gratitude he felt quickly cracked. This was because Assad followed him into the room as if it were the most natural thing.
“The north has such short days,” Assad said while turning on the bedroom lights. The white light emitted by the magic stones instantly brightened the bedroom.
“Cayden, there’s something I didn’t get to ask earlier…”
Having closed the door, Assad narrowed the distance between them. Slightly spreading his arms as he had in the clothing shop, he posed a question.
“How do I look? Like a gentleman?”
“Pardon?”
“I’m asking if I look presentable enough to stand beside you without embarrassment.”
“You look perfectly gentlemanly. No one in this world would find the crown prince embarrassing. If anything, people might think Your Highness has a partner who’s unworthy…”
Denying the absurd expression “embarrassing,” Cayden hurriedly answered.
“That’s a relief then.”
“The northern attire suits you very well. I only regret not being able to buy you better clothes.”
He meant it sincerely. Cayden felt ashamed that he couldn’t do more for the person he cared for. Although even if he had more money, he probably couldn’t have given a proper gift that would satisfy Assad, the empire’s crown prince.
“I should be the one buying, not you,” Assad muttered, looking down at Cayden’s now calmer face. One corner of his expression had somehow turned sulky, despite still maintaining his smile.
“Senior was… buying for the junior who just joined the merchant guild.”
Cayden managed to say the embarrassing word “senior.” Rather than stammering excuses in awkward imperial language with his lack of eloquence, this approach seemed better.
Fortunately, Assad appeared to like his response. The smile on his lips had brightened considerably.
“You seem quite used to this senior-junior game? We probably don’t need to practice more.”
Assad narrowed the distance between himself and Cayden once again. He continued speaking right away.
“Hmm. Having received such a gift from my only senior, I can’t just pretend nothing happened. How should a junior repay his senior?”
Assad asked. He seemed genuinely curious rather than making an inscrutable joke.
“A junior doesn’t need to repay anything.”
Though he’d never had a junior himself, Cayden thought this was probably normal. He was certain he would feel uncomfortable if someone younger spoke of repayment.
“No. I can’t just take without giving back.”
“But it’s fine to just take…”
Uncomfortable with the closeness, Cayden stepped half a pace back.
“No, it’s not. Give me any task. Put me to work.”
The half-step’s distance between them was quickly negated as the gap closed again. They were now close enough that their breaths would soon intertwine.
Too close.
Cayden needlessly shifted his gaze around. He would look at Assad’s Adam’s apple, then move his eyes to his shoulders, steal glances at his sparkling eyes, then lower his gaze to below his chin.
It was difficult to find anywhere to rest his eyes. This was because he could somewhat anticipate what would follow, making him tense.
When they got this close… they usually kissed.
Kissing Assad had become frequent. The kisses that had suddenly begun after Assad’s heat period were continuing until now. For now, it was under the pretext of education.
They kissed in the bedroom, in the reception room. They would press their lips together even on the balcony with its clearly visible interior, or in the garden. The reasons varied: because their eyes met, because their hands accidentally brushed, because the weather was too nice.
“You taught me how to kiss. You said you’d be my teacher. Then you should take responsibility until the end. Teach me, make me review, give me assignments.”
Cayden knew why Assad kissed him. It was thanks to what he had heard from him.
Ending up kissing suddenly while asking and answering various questions wasn’t anything special. For Assad, it was merely a lesson and review. He was just helping Assad.
Assad had told Cayden before that he shouldn’t turn away a lacking disciple when he himself still had a long way to go. He said to embrace him until he could properly fulfill his role.
But Assad wasn’t someone with a long way to go. He was even further from being deficient. The truly lacking one was himself. He had nothing left to teach Assad. Truly nothing at all.
Assad quickly became proficient at kissing. Unlike himself, who still had awkward aspects.
There might be many cases where an insufficient teacher has a brilliant disciple. However, usually, the disciple eventually leaves the teacher behind and becomes independent. They might seek a new guide. But Assad showed no inclination to find a new teacher.
Why? Cayden had to ponder this question that appeared every time they kissed.
Eventually, he reached one conclusion.
Cayden occasionally read lust in Assad’s eyes. When he encountered the simmering heat in those bright golden irises, he felt a distant sensation as if he had dropped into the middle of a desert he had never set foot in before.
The request to teach might just be an excuse. If it felt good to kiss another person, if that’s why he kept pressing his body close and bringing their lips together… what if that was the reason?
It was strange to share sexual contact without special reasons like a heat period or with a spouse who had a set departure date. So he gave a different reason: learning.
He hadn’t mixed bodies with Assad since the heat period. But it seemed like it might happen soon. Everything would happen as Assad wished. Cayden had no intention of refusing Assad. He had made up his mind to let him do whatever he wanted, whatever it might be.
He felt sorry for Assad’s misdirected desire. But it couldn’t be helped. If Helio’s law was that married people should only look at their spouses, with whom else would Assad share such desires?
Assad didn’t seem like someone who would put the person he wanted in danger. So, it was right for him to satisfy his minor urges with him. At least with the man who was currently holding the position of his bride.
“Mixing bodies doesn’t require affection.”
The young master, Alex, had repeatedly told him. He said he coupled with someone like him because he couldn’t fully satisfy his desires with his noble and fragile fiancée.
“Because it doesn’t matter if you get damaged.”
Right. It doesn’t matter if I get damaged. I should just quietly serve as a substitute.
I wish the person I like would cherish me. He had no intention of harboring such a ticklish hope. His pride wasn’t hurt either. He just thought… that’s how it is.
That’s how it is. Cayden had stoically overcome his misfortune with that brief phrase. That’s how it is. Yes, I deserve to be treated this way. That’s right. If he kept thinking and thinking about it, even the tears that would fall and the anger that would pierce his heart would soon dry up.
But Assad was different from Alex.
Assad was someone who didn’t hurt him. During Assad’s heat period, he even had the illusion of being loved, if only momentarily.
Moreover, Assad was… someone he liked. So it was fine. Everything just felt fine.
Assad was an alpha who had maintained his chastity for his future spouse. As he had said, since Cayden had taken his first experience, he should become his teacher, and he needed to take responsibility. If this body could be of any use.
“What are you thinking about?”
Assad asked, lifting Cayden’s chin with his fingertips. Judging by his furrowed brow, he seemed somewhat annoyed.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
