Chapter 62
Jaekyung’s steps toward the practice room lacked strength. After sitting alone among the trainees who were exchanging greetings when the announcement ceremony ended, he still found it hard to accept his situation.
If he had passed? Yeah, he could have comforted himself that it wasn’t bad. He could have thought positively because of his fickle circumstances. If he failed, he’d go to the police station as planned, and if not, he’d just endure a little longer – that’s all it would have been.
But the unexpected ranking shook Jaekyung’s entire mind. As if annoyed that he dared to weigh two options on a scale, the audition had tipped the weight in its favor.
Jaekyung moved with sluggish movements toward his room. He had time until evening practice, so he wanted to rest.
He unclenched the fists he’d been making throughout the announcement ceremony and grabbed the doorknob. After slipping on sweat several times, he barely managed to grab it and open the door.
“Haah.”
Seeing the bed with white bedding neatly arranged, his tension released and the breath he’d been holding flowed out. He must have been quite tense – his whole body was throbbing. On top of that, he seemed to be running a fever, so Jaekyung wiped his cheek with the back of his hand as he approached the bed. Even though it seemed like he’d cleaned up yesterday, the surroundings had become messy again, but he didn’t even see it as his stumbling steps stubbornly headed only toward the bed.
And just as he was about to collapse onto the bed, leaning his body forward, someone grabbed Jaekyung’s arm. His body’s speed of falling onto the bed naturally slowed, and Jaekyung’s body was gently lifted upward.
Jaekyung raised his upper body that had collapsed onto the bed to see who had grabbed him. After confirming who it was, instead of speaking to them, Jaekyung pushed his hips toward where the pillow was. Naturally leaning against the headboard, Jaekyung clicked his tongue softly, finding Jungwoo annoying. He had wanted to rest while thinking alone for a bit.
“Why do you keep coming here when you have your own room?”
“To see you.”
Jungwoo set down the room key he’d gotten from Geonhu beside him and lowered his hips onto Jaekyung’s bed. Should I just tell him to leave? As if sensing Jaekyung’s complicated tangled feelings, Jungwoo shook his head slightly.
“I kept waiting. Don’t tell me to leave.”
“…How long have you been here?”
“I came out right after the ceremony ended.”
Quick on the uptake too. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to send Jungwoo away, Jaekyung relaxed his back. Since Jaekyung was breathing quietly, Jungwoo also brought over a pillow. With Jungwoo placing a pillow against the headboard like Jaekyung and leaning against it, the two ended up sitting side by side on one bed. Jaekyung found it strange that he hadn’t noticed Jungwoo’s absence during the announcement ceremony earlier.
Still, he was the guy who got 1st place – he was curious about how he’d come out right away, so he quietly let him sit beside him. Thinking about it, he himself had entered this audition with disrespectful intentions, so high rankings weren’t welcome, but the guy next to him was different.
How precious must 1st place be to Lee Jungwoo, who desperately wanted to debut? And knowing that this would pave a golden road for him, Jaekyung showed light curiosity toward Jungwoo.
“How does it feel to get 1st place?”
Jungwoo, who had been burying his back in the pillow while looking at the glass window in front, turned to look at Jaekyung as if he’d heard a strange question. Even while feeling Jungwoo’s gaze, Jaekyung didn’t look back at him.
“I said it earlier, but you didn’t listen, right?”
“Would I have been in the right mind to listen?”
“I thought you’d have some leeway since you got 9th place.”
“I didn’t hear it.”
What, does he think 9th place is a low ranking? Jaekyung glared at Jungwoo reflected in the glass window. Instead of questioning Jaekyung further, Jungwoo recited the same comment he’d made earlier.
“I thanked everyone for their support and said I’d work even harder.”
“Nothing special.”
“Yours was even less special.”
Jaekyung’s comment had been the shortest compared to the time he held the microphone. But still, it was different from his own.
Jungwoo consistently responded to Jaekyung’s words with composure. Since questions and answers that weren’t particularly gentle were being exchanged, Jaekyung tilted his head. Why the hell did this guy come?
“Why did you come?”
“Because I thought you’d be alone.”
“So what if I’m alone – what’s it to you that you came?”
“To comfort you?”
Jungwoo’s tone rose as if he’d just thought of it. Jaekyung found it too bothersome to glare at him and waved his hand dismissively.
“I’m not in my right mind right now. So leave.”
“If I leave?”
“What?”
“If I leave, what are you going to think about alone?”
So this was it. Jungwoo had also noticed that Jaekyung didn’t like his current situation. Come to think of it, he seemed to have known from before. Jaekyung had revealed more to Jungwoo than he’d realized. So Jungwoo acted as if he knew everything about what kind of mood he’d be in, even without knowing why he was acting this way. And that wasn’t wrong, which made it even more problematic.
“I have no reason to tell you that.”
Jaekyung cut off Jungwoo’s question without mercy. He had no intention of telling him now or ever in the future.
Jungwoo silently stared at Jaekyung after his rejection. On one hand, he wanted to know about Jaekyung’s circumstances, but he knew he couldn’t hear about them at all. It was expected. So Jungwoo brought up what he’d originally planned to say.
“You’re on thin ice right now.”
“Yeah. I suppose so. This isn’t even the final announcement…”
“So don’t act like it’s already over.”
Jaekyung straightened his back from the pillow and looked at Jungwoo with displeasure.
“When did I ever…”
“You did. You.”
“Hey, Lee Jungwoo.”
“It’s a ranking where you could be eliminated at any time, but you don’t seem to realize it. This is only the second announcement ceremony. There are several more announcement ceremonies left until 9 people remain. So don’t act like it’s all decided.”
Jungwoo poured out cold words with utterly calm eyes.
“This is an audition. No matter how hard you try, there are more guys working like crazy. Those kids will eventually move people’s hearts, so if you want to be eliminated, just wait quietly.”
I acknowledge that you’ve worked hard so far, but that’s it. The other kids act like this is do-or-die for them. That will eventually cause ranking changes – saying this, Jungwoo tapped Jaekyung’s forehead as if telling him to face reality.
“Snap out of it, Seo Jaekyung.”
Jaekyung rubbed his forehead while mulling over Jungwoo’s words.
“Did you hate seeing me act like I was all set at every announcement ceremony?”
“Yeah. There’s a long way to go. Who knows what will happen.”
“You’re right. Damn.”
And before his regression, in the audition, 9 trainees had definitely gathered and debuted. Thinking about how they’d risen with the nation’s abundant love, a wry smile crept onto Jaekyung’s face.
Really ridiculously, every time there was an announcement ceremony, he felt like he was whining to Lee Jungwoo and getting comforted.
* * *
At evening practice, Jaekyung’s team became 5 people due to Park Minho’s elimination. They had to change not only the formation they’d been practicing with 6 people as the standard, but also the song parts, but fortunately the atmosphere wasn’t too heavy.
“I’m sorry for Minho, but I’m still glad I can do this song to the end.”
Junghang revealed his honest feelings. Even if practice became more intense, he seemed happy that he could take this song and go to the end. Whether others felt the same, expressions of relief appeared over their complicated feelings.
Making it into the top 36 brought up many emotions for them. Their anxious hearts eased and they felt relieved, then other worries about what would happen next came up – a mixture of feelings crossed over.
And some looked enviously at Jaekyung, who had received the highest ranking among them.
“Aren’t we doing this?”
Pretending not to notice their gazes, Jaekyung tapped the video they’d practiced with 6 people. Only then did Junghang also snap out of the afterglow of passing and look at the phone Jaekyung was pointing to.
Since the number of people had decreased when they hadn’t even detailed the stage yet, there was a lot to reorganize.
“But how much time do we have left for this?”
“About… 5 days?”
At Junghang’s question, Seungkwon calculated the time. This stage especially had short time. With less than a week left, they didn’t know what missions remained. After looking at the calendar and pondering, Junghang asked Jaekyung.
“Jaekyung, can we practice right away?”
“We need to redo the formation first. And divide up the parts Minho hyung was doing.”
“Right.”
Jaekyung quickly thought of choreography suited for 5 people in the practice room, and with Seungkwon helping beside him, they smoothly created a new formation.
Cameras came among them, but Jaekyung didn’t care anymore.
All that remained for him was the 3rd round stage.
* * *
“Jaekyung hyung.”
Jaekyung, who had been in the middle of individual practice, turned around at the urgent voice. Sowoon was looking at Jaekyung while holding his phone. The camera was turning toward Sowoon’s face, which looked like something had happened.
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you have a moment?”
Sowoon looked at Jaekyung and shook his head very slightly, as if he couldn’t do it here. Sowoon’s serious atmosphere transferred directly to Jaekyung’s expression as well. When Jaekyung nodded slightly to show he understood, Sowoon turned around first and left. Feeling the urgency from his back, Jaekyung forcibly suppressed his anxious feelings and followed him out.
Sowoon, who had come to an empty emergency stairwell, was looking at his phone, then raised his head when Jaekyung followed him in.
“Hyung, have you seen this too?”
Sowoon immediately held out his phone. Jaekyung looked more closely at Sowoon’s expression before accepting the phone.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
