Chapter 6
“Why are you standing there so blankly?”
Yoon Hajun lightly patted Jungwoo’s back as he stood motionless. He’d come to check on him out of concern, and sure enough, Jungwoo was standing there dazed like a lost child.
“Aren’t you going in?”
“…It’s not my turn yet.”
“Then why are you blocking the entrance? Excuse me.”
The next trainee who had been standing behind Jungwoo expressed slight displeasure before going inside. Hajun pulled Jungwoo’s arm, who still couldn’t move from his spot, and led him to the side. The two sat down on a couple of hastily gathered chairs and gazed at the booth where preliminary auditions were being held.
“Looking at this, there really are a lot of trainees, aren’t there?”
Hajun murmured as he watched trainees entering and exiting the booth, their faces filled with excitement and tension. He was among them, and so was Jungwoo. And there were also younger ones who had been guided to different booths. They were selecting just 9 people from this enormous audition pool. Hajun glanced at Jungwoo.
Will he be chosen?
Though they hadn’t gone through anything yet, Hajun felt Jungwoo would make it. But the audition hadn’t even started, and the future was unknown to everyone. Hajun tapped Jungwoo’s shoulder and asked.
“Still confused?”
“No.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I couldn’t hear well.”
At Jungwoo’s mumble, Hajun leaned his upper body toward him. He wanted him to repeat what he said since he couldn’t hear well, but Jungwoo had already closed his mouth. Realizing he had no intention of saying more, Hajun shrugged.
“Jungwoo.”
“Yeah.”
“If you don’t want to do this, you can still back out. Honestly, you could go to a different agency. So…”
Jungwoo shook his head slightly.
“Ugh, seriously, both you and your parents are so frustrating. They could just debut you directly, why bother with this confirmation? Honestly, I can see you being successful as soon as you debut…”
Hajun, getting angry on Jungwoo’s behalf, ruffled the back of Jungwoo’s hair. He seemed concerned about his usually quiet dongsaeng being even more withdrawn.
“Hyung.”
Jungwoo, who had barely been responding until now, called out to Hajun first. Hajun looked at him with delight.
“Yes? What is it?”
“Do you know someone named Seo Jaekyung?”
“Seo Jaekyung?”
Hajun tilted his head and mumbled the name several times. Since there were trainees who moved between agencies and others who stayed in one place for a long time, a small community had formed among them.
“I feel like I’ve heard the name somewhere, but maybe it’s the first time? Why?”
Jungwoo looked at the place where he had just met Seo Jaekyung.
“I saw someone who sings really well.”
“Really? Better than you?”
At Hajun’s consoling words, Jungwoo fell into thought for a moment before nodding.
“I think he sings better than me.”
Surprised by Jungwoo’s serious response, Hajun pursed his lips.
“This audition isn’t going to be easy, is it?”
* * *
“Seo Jaekyung!”
It had been a few quiet days of just attending school since the audition ended. As usual, he spent his days going to school alone without anyone’s warmth, eating meals by himself. After finishing classes and returning home with somewhat weary steps, Jaekyung’s eyes widened. His mother, whom he thought wouldn’t be home, was waiting for him like a statue.
“Why… I mean…”
Jaekyung stammered. He was so happy to see another person when he opened the door that he couldn’t speak. He didn’t even remember being slapped. Just… to Jaekyung, whose daily life was defined by loneliness, his mother’s occasional presence was comforting.
“You know…”
Jaekyung wanted to tell his story like a 6-year-old child. The most memorable recent event was the audition, but he excluded that. Should he talk about the job interview he had?
Or maybe how he’d started to interact with one or two people at school lately?
“I told you running away wouldn’t do any good!”
“Um…”
But his mother misunderstood the reason for his stammering.
“You absolutely cannot miss this opportunity. Start practicing the songs from tomorrow. Do you know how long the director waited for you that day?”
“…”
Jaekyung’s hand, which he had raised with a dejected heart, fell limply. All the words he wanted to say—asking when she came home, suggesting they have dinner together—died on his tongue. He had been so distracted by the warmth of someone’s presence in the house that he hadn’t thought of anything else. That he still couldn’t escape from the man called the director. His heart, which had been swelling, deflated like a balloon punctured by a sharp needle.
Like an idiot.
Jaekyung ruffled his hair and looked at his mother with calmer eyes than before.
“I told you I won’t do it.”
“You don’t have the right to choose.”
“Mom.”
Jaekyung clutched his shirt tightly, frustrated. If he had passed the preliminary audition, that would be different, but he couldn’t find a way to respond to his mother’s insistence now. For now, he decided to resist as much as he could.
“I won’t do it.”
“You’re still a minor. I’m your guardian.”
“You’re not protecting me right now.”
“Who else would look after you if not me?”
His mother’s voice came out rather cold. Then, trying to soothe Jaekyung, she forced a gentle tone.
“Jaekyung, listen to your mother. Listen to me, and you won’t lose anything, okay?”
Jaekyung bit his lip tightly.
“Do you know why I’ve been living quietly as a trainee all this time?”
“Jaekyung?”
“Because you enjoyed performing on those night stages so much… I worked hard for you.”
This was what he had wanted to shout the day before time turned back. Because his mother, or rather Jung Hayeon, sang happily on that stage where no one was listening. Because 6-year-old Jaekyung couldn’t forget that sight and wanted to help since his mother loved it so much.
He truly believed that if he became a trainee and debuted as his mother said, bringing her onto the stage too, they would all be happy. But Jaekyung, having already lived as an idol, knew he would never be happy.
“But this time it’s really not right. Those people are con artists.”
“What do you know? They’re such famous people, how can you call them con artists…”
As vibrations sounded from his pocket, Jaekyung stepped back from his mother and took out his phone. Though it was an unknown number, he pretended it was a close friend calling. His mother crossed her arms, looking scary as if she would stand there until the call ended.
It doesn’t matter, I still won’t do it. Jaekyung hid his true thoughts and touched the call button.
“Hello.”
– Is this Seo Jaekyung’s phone?
“Yes.”
– This is CHOOSE NINE.
“Yes.”
– I’m calling because you passed the preliminary round.
“What?”
Seeing Jaekyung’s strange expression, his mother uncrossed her arms and frowned.
– You’ll need to stay at the dormitory starting this week, is that okay?
“…”
– Seo Jaekyung-ssi?
“Ah, yes. That’s fine.”
The call ended with brief information about the training camp period and when and what time to arrive. As his hand holding the phone came down, Jaekyung blankly circled around, unable to accept what had happened to him. His choice of a lesser evil to avoid the worst had worked.
‘I…’
Passed the preliminaries? Jaekyung’s mouth opened involuntarily, as if pleased with the future he had changed for the first time.
* * *
With his school bag on his shoulder, Jaekyung alternated between checking his phone and the building in front of him.
“Is this… the right place?”
He had expected the dormitory to be in a secluded building somewhere or a set prepared by a broadcasting station. But the place he was directed to was HY Hotel in the center of Seoul, leaving Jaekyung with a bewildered expression.
Isn’t it too expensive to stay here for a month? he wondered, but soon nodded in understanding. If the program became a hit, the hotel would also become famous.
Tourists coming from overseas to see the idols would all book rooms at this hotel first, so it wasn’t a loss. Jaekyung adjusted the bag slipping off his shoulder and entered the hotel. The luxurious interior welcomed the new guest, but Jaekyung had no interest.
Hotels were places he had frequented during his idol days. Not because of Jaekyung, but because of other members’ popularity, they needed tight security, making it difficult to stay in simple accommodations.
‘No, I needed to stay in hotels too.’
Other members because of their popularity, him because of his many antis. Jaekyung shook off the thought with a bitter smile.
Finding a banner with CHOOSE NINE written on it, he walked straight there and discovered the man and woman he had seen before, sitting at a long desk.
“Oh? Seo Jaekyung-ssi.”
“Hello.”
“You’re not wearing a hat today.”
At the woman’s friendly greeting, Jaekyung ruffled his hair awkwardly. Unlike before, he anticipated being filmed during the month-long dormitory stay. Although he hadn’t put on makeup, he had packed a hat in his bag.
“How do you feel?”
“Dazed. Actually, I didn’t think I’d make it.”
Jaekyung wrinkled his nose. Meeting face-to-face without a hat made his expressions more visible, making him even more embarrassed. He covered his forehead and then raised his hand slightly to hide half his face.
“But you did well enough back then?”
The woman tilted her head, wondering why he thought that way. She doesn’t know it’s because of what she said. Jaekyung covered it up with an awkward smile.
“Anyway, congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
“But is that all your luggage?”
“Ah… since you said clothes would be provided, I only brought what I needed.”
“That’s practically the same as coming empty-handed!”
The woman laughed, looking at his bag. Underwear and socks, one comfortable T-shirt and pants. A phone charger and a workbook. There wasn’t much luggage. Not knowing what others brought, Jaekyung refrained from saying more. Since the camera had been filming his face for a while, he also deadened his expressions to avoid revealing himself. The woman received a silent signal from the man with the camera and pulled out a paper envelope from her chest.
“You’ll get detailed instructions once you go inside. For now, I’ll just tell you one thing.”
When he opened the envelope, there was a nametag with Jaekyung’s name on it.
“Please attach this to your clothes. Then go inside to the waiting room, and when your name is called according to the order, you’ll go before the CHOOSE NINE judges. There, you’ll show your skills as trainee Seo Jaekyung.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
