Chapter 5
As Jaekyung entered the booth, two people were sitting at a makeshift table. One was fiddling with a camera while the other was holding papers. Judging their roles by this, Jaekyung stepped forward.
“I’m Seo Jaekyung.”
After a simple greeting, he stood quietly until the man handling the camera gave a small nod to the woman beside him.
“I see you’re wearing a hat.”
“Ah… yes.”
Jaekyung fiddled with his hat. The black baseball cap covered half his forehead, so with his head slightly lowered, it covered his eyes too.
“I didn’t know there would be cameras.”
“Oh? Then you probably didn’t put on makeup either?”
“Ah…”
Jaekyung let out a dumbfounded sound. Why had he thought there wouldn’t be cameras at the preliminaries? Realizing everyone else would have come fully prepared while he looked so shabby, his face burned with embarrassment and he couldn’t lift his head.
“I’m just kidding. This is only a camera test, not for broadcast. How could we film all the trainees auditioning for the preliminaries?”
The woman laughed, asking if he knew how many trainees there were in Korea, and Jaekyung relaxed his tense back. Having been a trainee for a long time, he knew.
There were many people who genuinely wanted to be singers, but there were also many trainees passing through for various reasons, like trying to become actors.
“You prepared a song, right?”
The woman asked casually, looking at the position written on his application.
“Yes.”
“There’s a microphone next to you. Look and choose whichever you want.”
The woman made Jaekyung do everything himself. He turned his head in the direction she indicated. Among the various microphones on the small round table, Jaekyung chose the most standard dynamic one.
It was the most common microphone used in karaoke rooms.
After taking a deep breath, he brought the microphone up to begin singing, but the woman let out a small cry of surprise.
“Oh? This won’t work.”
“Pardon?”
“Your face is completely hidden.”
“Aah.”
“Your face is so small that half of it is covered.”
Jaekyung fussily moved around, raising and lowering the microphone and looking back at the table. He figured it was because of the camera, but thought that if this was just a camera test, hadn’t they seen enough of him already?
“Should I get a different microphone?”
“It’s fine. Go ahead.”
The woman erased her troubled expression as if she had no choice and signaled to start. Jaekyung picked up the microphone again with a dazed expression. Just as he was about to sing the song he had prepared, he felt strangely unsettled. Wondering why, he belatedly discovered that the ceiling was open.
He thought that if he sang the vocal-heavy song he had prepared, people in the adjacent booths might hear him. He had just flinched at someone belting out loudly.
‘Other people will hear my singing too?’
With that thought, he didn’t feel like singing anymore. He tried to think of a song he knew all the lyrics to and could sing properly without disturbing others. Although he thought he had sung many songs, only one came to mind.
Jaekyung hesitated, squeezing and releasing the microphone. It was a song he had sung a few times at his agency, only to be scolded for having an affected voice. Because his voice became slightly husky in the lower register, Jaekyung had only sung songs that required somewhat higher pitches.
‘Sigh, why am I so pathetic?’
He was already worrying, still bound by the past.
“Excuse me…”
“Yes. Do you have something to say?”
The woman responded as if she had been waiting, making Jaekyung’s shoulders twitch.
“Can I change my song?”
“There’s no reason why not, but may I ask why?”
“Um… be-cause…”
“Pardon?”
The woman leaned her upper body forward and asked again. She hadn’t heard what he just said.
“Because I’m embarrassed.”
“Oh my.”
The reason was so cute that the woman and the cameraman let out brief laughs.
“What are you embarrassed about?”
“I originally chose a song with some high notes, but I think everyone will hear… so I want to sing quietly.”
“You might fail the preliminary if you do that. Is that okay?”
Jaekyung’s expression hardened before he nodded hesitantly.
“I’ll try.”
“Alright.”
The woman made eye contact with the cameraman, gave a strange signal with her hand, and then looked back at Jaekyung. He closed his eyes and raised the microphone. He heard a small sigh but ignored it and slowly opened his mouth.
Me falling into endless despair
Who will save me
I’m still waiting for you
His tone was calm, almost like a recitation. With his lips close to the microphone, he murmured so quietly that he wasn’t sure if the lyrics were properly audible. But Jaekyung didn’t stop the song he had started. The husky voice reaching his own ears felt awkward. How long had it been since he’d sung this?
Everyone pushes me away.
Come quickly.
Come and hold my hand
Comfort my heart
Despite having no accompaniment, Jaekyung lowered the microphone in a brief pause and traced the melody in his mind.
If I’m with you
Even in the cold wind
I could endure
Come to me and hold me
Take me in your arms when I cry lonely
Stay by my side
Jaekyung lowered the microphone with a long breath. When he slowly opened his eyes, the woman and man in front of him were tight-lipped, just watching each other’s reactions. Perhaps he should have shown a song with higher notes after all?
“I’m finished.”
“Um…”
The woman drawled, looking at Jaekyung.
“Your previous song… what was it?”
The woman rummaged through the papers. She overlooked Jaekyung’s profile at the top and checked another person’s name instead. The cameraman chuckled at her strange behavior and quietly turned the camera. She continued searching through the profiles, unaware that the camera that had been pointing at Jaekyung was now aimed at her.
“Ah… here it is.”
The woman let out a dry laugh and cleared her throat, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“I’d like to hear your original song too.”
“Ah…”
Jaekyung quickly concealed the regretful smile that had formed at the corners of his mouth. He knew that the indirect suggestion that his original selection would have been better meant he had failed. People in this industry always expressed things in roundabout ways.
“Thank you for your performance.”
At her even stiffer voice than before, Jaekyung hurriedly put on a faint smile to hide his bitter expression.
‘So it didn’t work after all.’
Since he couldn’t even pass the preliminary, he needed to look for another solution, but nothing came to mind, leaving him at a loss. He couldn’t force them to accept him, so he had to find another way immediately. Jaekyung bowed his head and left the booth. Amidst the still bustling and excited atmosphere, he stood alone as if fallen into an abyss. Faced with the enormous debt of 23 billion won, he should have been crying, but only a hollow laugh came out.
“I’m really full of myself.”
He had vaguely thought he would succeed without any preparation. That’s why he had such expectations and disappointment. Jaekyung exhaled sharply and moved his feet, tearing off the name tag stuck to his stomach.
“Ugh.”
Walking with his head down, Jaekyung let out a stifled groan as he collided with someone. He realized his hat had come off from the impact, but his aching shoulder was his first concern. As Jaekyung was about to check who he had bumped into while rubbing his shoulder, the other person bent down to pick up his hat.
“Thank you.”
Jaekyung took the hat and put it on without even dusting it off.
“If you walk with your head down like that, you’ll bump into someone else again.”
Jaekyung lowered his head again after briefly looking up. He only saw the man’s mouth and chin, but could tell he was taller than himself.
“Never mind me, but it’s disrespectful to others.”
Jaekyung’s body visibly stiffened.
“Never mind me, but it’s disrespectful to the other members.”
The voice and face of Lee Jungwoo from the past overlapped.
‘Why here?’
Bumping into him in a place he never expected felt significant. With so many preliminary booths, what were the odds? Jaekyung couldn’t hide his surprise as he looked up at the man he had collided with.
Straight eyebrows above clear, open eyes. Deep brown irises balanced perfectly between high cheekbones. The flowing lines from his cheekbones to his jawline were elegant yet masculine—probably due to the unique aura that hung over his beautiful face.
“Lee Jungwoo?”
He called out the name without thinking, then immediately regretted it. He knew Lee Jungwoo, but Jungwoo didn’t know him.
He worried the other might find it strange, but was relieved to see the name tag still attached to Jungwoo’s stomach.
Yet despite knowing it wasn’t strange, Jungwoo remained standing there, staring at Jaekyung. Jaekyung wondered why he was still standing beside him, but soon realized the reason.
“Ah, I’m sorry.”
Realizing he was blocking the entrance to the booth, preventing Jungwoo from entering, Jaekyung stepped aside. But Jungwoo still didn’t go in and kept looking at Jaekyung, even as a voice from inside called for the next person.
“What’s your name?”
At Jungwoo’s question, Jaekyung looked down at the name tag he had crumpled in his hand. Jungwoo wouldn’t know who he was, so that’s why he was asking, but it felt strange. It was a peculiar feeling to have someone who should know him looking at him with an unfamiliar expression.
“Seo Jaekyung.”
There was no reason not to tell him. Jaekyung moved away from Jungwoo like that. As the gaze that had been fixed on his back fell away, Jaekyung slowly slowed his steps. Of all people, to run into “Lee Jungwoo.” It wasn’t the cold gaze that had always looked at him. It was a look of moderate curiosity. That somehow made him feel strangely disappointed.
Because he wished Jungwoo would remember his name, which he had never called even once during their three years of activities together.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
