Chapter 4
[CHOOSE NINE Preliminary Round]
Is this the only way?
Jaekyung stared endlessly at the large banner in front of him. The path to escape from becoming a singer led to the very entrance of becoming one.
It was like entering a tiger’s den while trying to avoid a fox, but he was still underage and couldn’t stop that man even though he knew he was a scammer. His mother would stamp her seal again and give money to the man with loans she’d taken out under the pretext of album preparation.
To prevent that, Jaekyung needed an excuse right now to avoid preparing for an album.
“Ah. This is frustrating.”
Jaekyung pounded his chest. He’d worn only a T-shirt on a day with a big temperature difference, and the cold wind entered as his waistband fluttered with each movement of his hand. After letting the wind blow on him a few times, Jaekyung lowered his hand as if giving up. No matter how much he let the wind blow or pounded his chest, the cause of his troubles wasn’t himself but conflict with someone else, so there was no point in doing anything alone.
“Why can’t she just treat me like other families do?”
Despite all his experiences with his mother until now, he still felt disappointed. He wanted to live a normal life like others, going to school, studying, and getting worked up over exams. Knowing that he had already started on a different path from them made him sigh with envy.
“It’s too late to live like that now.”
Having already lived to 25, he knew it better. His mother would never give up on Jaekyung. With determined eyes, Jaekyung looked ahead again. Though he had never participated in this audition before, there were a few things he knew.
That nine people would debut. That the guy who ranked first was a trainee from JT.
“JT…”
Jaekyung rolled the name around in his mouth.
Unlike Jaekyung, who became desperate after realizing it was a scam only after being swindled out of money for an album contract with the director, his mother, who had disappeared again, showed up two years later. Jaekyung, who had been barely paying just the interest with money earned from working day and night, was dragged to yet another agency without even having time to resent his mother.
That place was JT Entertainment. To cut to the result, Jaekyung had a long trainee life and accumulated heavy debt, but thanks to his mother’s efforts, he did debut.
“It’s really amazing even thinking about it now.”
How did they recognize his mother?
His mother, who had brought a contract from the largest entertainment company in South Korea, dragged Jaekyung along, saying this was his last chance. He didn’t know how she had obtained the contract, but later found out that the CEO had recognized his mother and given Jaekyung an opportunity.
Naturally, the rumors weren’t good. Who would like it when someone who appeared out of nowhere became a trainee for just 3 months before debuting at a major entertainment company? Moreover, when he was inserted among the members who had become famous through “choose nine,” having anti-fans from the start was a given, with people saying he was riding on the fame of the existing members. Jaekyung was mercilessly torn apart with labels like “the CEO’s parachute” and accusations of trying to leech off the existing members.
Despite his short time as a trainee, no one approached him, and some openly picked fights with him. Still, he gritted his teeth and endured for the sake of debuting. He rationalized that he would only need to get along with the members who would debut with him anyway.
Little did he know that the flood of bad rumors about him had already written indelible prejudices in the members’ minds.
They did not welcome Jaekyung, their final member. Having been selected as the final nine in the audition program, they regarded Jaekyung as an intruder.
Moreover, the preparation process for the debut differed between Jaekyung and them, who already had fame. While Jaekyung practiced the debut song and choreography in the practice room, they appeared on variety shows and occasionally practiced together among themselves. And when they had time to visit the practice room, Jaekyung wasn’t there, causing their schedules to constantly miss each other.
In the end, the first place they met was at the first stage rehearsal. After an awkward greeting, Jaekyung immediately took his position in the formation. That day, Jaekyung completely messed up the first performance. Unable to rely on anyone and feeling the pressure to do well alone, he couldn’t show his true abilities.
As the perception that he lacked skills strengthened, the distance between him and the members widened. No one tried to close that gap. Jaekyung, being naturally introverted, couldn’t approach them, and they felt they were sufficient by themselves without forcibly including him.
Misunderstandings accumulated between people who didn’t know each other, and soon snowballed. The manager kept giving him bitter Americanos, and even small things like Jaekyung barely managing to swallow a sip were circulated as him having a picky palate. Jaekyung’s thin nerves became so fine that they could snap with just a little pressure.
A life lived because he couldn’t die.
That was Jaekyung’s impression after his debut.
“Jaekyung, you don’t have to come to this concept meeting. You seem tired, just sleep.”
“Sorry hyung, but please don’t talk to me.”
“Is the manager your chauffeur? You’re being so damn prickly.”
Since they hadn’t practiced together for long and didn’t know each other’s circumstances, Jaekyung wasn’t thick-skinned enough to ask them to see his side. Yet, he was still hurt.
“Strange rumors keep circulating when I’m with you. I don’t know what’s so different about you to get special treatment, but at least don’t cause trouble. Don’t come within a 1-meter radius so we’re not caught in the same camera. Don’t talk to me except when necessary. Never mind me, it’s disrespectful to the other members.”
Jaekyung let out a long sigh. Just recalling those memories made his chest feel tight. The leader who smiled falsely, the youngest who pushed him away with cute words, the rapper who complained irritably. They at least acknowledged Jaekyung’s existence, but one person thoroughly ignored him. Whenever Jaekyung met that person’s mineral-like eyes, he felt suffocated and wanted to run away.
‘Lee Jungwoo.’
He silently ruminated on the name. Ranked first in individual idol brand reputation. The undisputed crown prince of the idol world, receiving love calls from various CFs, variety shows, and even dramas.
Products he advertised generated such large sales that they even affected the company’s stock prices, and movies he said were interesting easily surpassed the break-even point.
The content of the movies wasn’t important. Fans bought movie tickets just because Lee Jungwoo said it was interesting. This audition program was what created such a monstrous human being.
Lee Jungwoo debuts with the group called “b-nine” after ranking first in “choose nine.” After activities for 1 year, or just under 2 years including the inactive period, he returns to his agency as soon as the contract ends. Then, he comes back with a new group called “V.O.B,” adding one new member to the members he had worked with in b-nine.
As soon as b-nine’s activities ended, fans who were left hanging were completely absorbed into V.O.B, so they didn’t have to start from the bottom.
The man loved by the nation disliked Jaekyung. He was lonely during his trainee life, but as an idol, Jaekyung was literally adrift alone in a vast sea. As the loneliness he had to bear alone grew, Jaekyung gradually lost his smile. When a clown in a visible profession loses his smile, his value disappears. That’s how Jaekyung became an insignificant existence in the group.
“Those who haven’t been called yet, please gather here.”
Jaekyung snapped out of his thoughts at someone’s call. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on those memories. Pressing his hat down deeply, Jaekyung moved with heavy steps.
“Please wait here. You can enter when the booth is empty.”
Following the staff’s guidance, he stood in front of a makeshift booth. With a large nametag hastily pinned to his stomach, he had followed closely behind the staff through a maze-like path.
Makeshift chairs, which might have been placed for sitting or just for decoration, were scattered here and there. Jaekyung looked at those chairs and pressed his chest firmly.
‘Just need to pass the preliminary round.’
Who would become a monster later, what kind of influence they would have—none of that mattered to Jaekyung anymore. Since he wouldn’t debut with JT, there was nothing else to worry about. The goal was just to pass the preliminary round. Just pass the preliminary round, live in the dormitory for a month, and get eliminated in the first ranking.
For that, he needed to at least pass this preliminary round, so a slight queasiness rippled through his body, starting from his fingertips.
Jaekyung squeezed his eyes shut as the tension grew. The tiny worry of “what if I miss a note” was snowballing as time passed.
“Trainee Seo Jaekyung?”
At the staff’s call, Jaekyung slowly opened his eyes. The staff signaled for Jaekyung to go inside and left to bring the next person. Standing in front of the empty booth, Jaekyung pressed his hat down deeply.
With the tension rising to his throat, he forcibly suppressed it and followed the staff.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
