Chapter 36
Compared to other trainees dragging their suitcases, Jaekyung once again had only a light bag today. Thinking that this would be broadcast as is, he should probably change, but Jaekyung just let out a sigh. He didn’t have a suitcase anyway, and if he got eliminated today, he’d have to come back, so he thought it would just be bothersome.
‘If I get eliminated today…’
Jaekyung calculated his broadcast time. It had felt long, but compared to other trainees, it was a short time. Originally, he should have been certain he’d drop out today, but the internet reactions that Sowoon and Jungwoo had told him about when he appeared on the broadcast bothered him a little.
‘No. There’s no need to be sensitive.’
Come to think of it, when Sowoon was broadcast, didn’t reactions saying he was cute come up too? Jaekyung forcibly cut off his thoughts and went inside. When he started seeing cameras, he knew he was entering the zone.
Going inside, he saw trainees getting makeup done alongside suitcases lined up on one side. Every single one of them had tense faces ahead of today’s announcement ceremony. Jaekyung pretended not to know their feelings as he put down his bag among the suitcases and went to stand in a nearby line.
“Come this way. Oh my!”
The moment he thought the woman’s voice sounded familiar, Jaekyung barely held back from frowning. It was that person who had done his makeup during the live broadcast.
“Hurry and sit down. Come on.”
Watching Min Soi gesture while pretending to dust off the chair, Jaekyung reluctantly sat down like he was eating mustard while crying.
“I’ll try to do it as slowly and quickly as possible.”
Was she going to do it slowly or quickly? Jaekyung tried not to show his expression outwardly and closed his eyes. At the touch of cotton against his face, Jaekyung felt both familiar and strange.
It was makeup he’d received every day. He had experienced the process of becoming a different face than his own countless times when he opened his eyes. His own dim bare face was covered with artificial colors, and his shadowed eyes were hidden with eyeshadow. What remained was a main vocalist with white skin covered in a false face.
“I’ll go with daily makeup.”
Min Soi spoke as if suppressing her desire to grab him and do full musical theater makeup. She lightly touched Jaekyung’s skin just enough to make it moist, tidied his eyebrows, gave color to his lips, and stepped back.
“Should I do eye makeup too?”
When she stepped back and felt his eyes looked a bit lacking, Jaekyung bolted upright at her words.
“This is enough. Thank you.”
After Jaekyung gave his thanks without forgetting and disappeared without looking back, Min Soi barely swallowed her sigh and called the next trainee. Her number one pick was Seo Jaekyung, but she liked the other trainees too.
“Oh, it’s that friend with the pretty eyes.”
Min Soi soon hummed a tune and brightly lit up the shy trainee’s face.
Meanwhile, Jaekyung looked at the chairs arranged in a rectangular formation. The trainees who had already arrived and taken their seats were gathered in groups, having conversations. After confirming even the cameras positioned sporadically in front of the chairs, Jaekyung went to sit in the most secluded spot. No, he tried to. If it hadn’t been for someone’s wallet.
‘Why is there a wallet here?’
Personal items were supposed to be put in separate storage. Especially after the staff said to definitely put in their phones, Jaekyung had put everything away. But there was no rule against bringing a wallet, so it didn’t matter.
Jaekyung reluctantly sat next to it. If someone else sat in front, this seat didn’t look too bad either.
“I knew you’d sit here.”
Jaekyung looked up from the cardigan draped in front of him to confirm who it was. It was Lee Sowoon.
“Hyung, your phone must have been ringing like crazy, but how could you not send even one reply?”
While Jaekyung didn’t answer, Sowoon shrugged as if it didn’t matter and sat next to him.
“You, you’re sitting here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Yes?”
“There are plenty of other seats.”
“Jaekyung hyung sat here. Everyone else is with their own groups, right?”
“If it’s about that group, there are others besides me.”
Jaekyung wished Sowoon would go over there instead of staying with him. Unlike himself, Sowoon wanted to debut, so he thought being in a corner like this would be disadvantageous. But instead of following Jaekyung’s words, Sowoon waved his hand toward somewhere.
“You said you came first, so why are you just getting here?”
“I went somewhere for a moment.”
It was Hajun and Jungwoo. Hajun greeted Sowoon while also greeting Jaekyung. And Jungwoo silently sat next to Jaekyung. So it was that secluded seat where Jaekyung couldn’t sit earlier because there was a wallet.
“Was this your wallet?”
“Yeah.”
Realizing it was Jungwoo who had saved the seat, Jaekyung felt absurd. No, who puts a wallet here of all places…
Jaekyung quietly looked at Jungwoo then turned to face forward, seeing Hajun sitting in the front chair having a conversation with another trainee. It felt like he was naturally included in this group, so Jaekyung sat there feeling uncomfortable.
Thinking there was only one way to separate from them here.
“It’s been a while.”
The filming began with PD Choi’s greeting.
* * *
“As we mentioned in advance, today is the day when eliminated contestants will be announced. Rankings will be announced only for eliminated trainees, and those who pass will prepare for the next stage with undisclosed rankings.”
Various expressions appeared on the trainees’ faces at PD Choi’s explanation. Tension, anxiety, impatience… Some briefly showed confidence, but even that changed to stiff faces when the cameras rolled.
“So from now on, the names that will be called… will be the eliminated contestants.”
At PD Choi’s explanation, sounds of agitation flowed among the trainees. Sitting quietly among them, Jaekyung recalled the audition programs he remembered. Usually, those who passed were announced along with rankings, but this was the opposite – calling out those who were eliminated. Whether that was good or bad, since the announcement ceremony itself wasn’t entirely good, he quickly dismissed the question.
“But don’t they usually announce those who passed?”
At Sowoon’s muttering as if it was strange, Hajun, who was sitting in front, nodded.
“Nothing we could have expected happened anyway. So let’s just watch. The PD will let us know what he’s thinking.”
As Hajun said, there was no answer other than watching. As the agitation gradually subsided, PD Choi opened his mouth toward the trainees.
“Let’s begin. The first eliminated contestant is…”
During the brief pause in PD Choi’s words, a quiet silence lingered. Amid the stillness where only the sounds of cameras and staff moving could be heard, an eliminated contestant was called.
“Trainee Kim Junkyu.”
The trainee whose name was called immediately hung his head low, then stood up and went up to the stage. As trainees went up to the stage one by one following the subsequent calls, Jaekyung couldn’t take his eyes off their faces.
Thick emotions flowed from the breaths they exhaled soundlessly. The disappointment of not standing out despite working hard, the self-loathing of thinking ‘I’m not good enough,’ and the lingering attachment they couldn’t let go of could be felt in their suppressed gazes.
Jaekyung suddenly became curious about what was in PD Choi’s head. If they had shown those who passed instead, they could have filmed scenes of surprise and joy. He wondered if the sad emotions the eliminated trainees were sending now would really help this program.
When five people gathered, each was given a chance to speak and went to sit in the seats arranged on stage.
Each time a person was called, Jaekyung tightly gripped his chest. Only if he got eliminated this time would things flow according to the plan he wanted. Then he would have to be called by PD Choi somehow.
“The next eliminated contestant is…”
The announcement that seemed like it would feel long was gradually coming to an end. And proportionally, Jaekyung found it hard to calm his distress. As he pressed his nails down in anxiety, he felt a gaze watching him from the side.
But Jaekyung didn’t have the luxury to tell Jungwoo not to look at him right now.
‘Call my name.’
The announcement that had formed 9 groups of 5 people each was down to the last group. With only 5 eliminated contestants left, not just Jaekyung but everyone’s tension had reached its peak.
Jaekyung closed his eyes and hoped and hoped again for his name to be called. He had endured a month of time in this place and escaped from the clutches of that man called the manager. Now when this announcement ceremony ended, he just had to go home and prepare to go to his part-time job. Hoping it would turn out that way, Jaekyung clasped his hands together.
“The last eliminated contestant is…”
When PD Choi said “last,” Jaekyung’s eyes snapped open. Please. Please. Please.
“Seo… Hakwon trainee.”
“Ah…”
A sigh escaped from someone’s mouth, though it was unclear whose. A man sitting near Hajun was standing up weakly, and Jaekyung couldn’t bear to look at him and hung his head. He was afraid his disappointed expression at not being eliminated would show in front of a trainee who was so sad.
However, Jaekyung had his own situation to deal with immediately.
‘Am I remaining?’
He had made it into the top 54. That meant he had to prepare for the next round and simultaneously appear more on the broadcast. Jaekyung kept his head down and bit his lips repeatedly.
‘I passed?’
What he had been anxious about became reality. He had hoped it wouldn’t happen, but subconsciously he had worried about what to do if he passed. With his initial plan crumbling, Jaekyung continued to grip his hands alternately in anxiety.
‘What should I do now?’
The path ahead was dark. Would he become an idol again and stand on stage?
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
