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“Your two brothers also live with us. The eldest is a surgeon and is married, but doesn’t have children yet. The second is an internist, not yet married. I’m not sure if you remember, but they’re both children from my previous marriage. I heard their mother was in poor health and died when the second child was ten years old.”
“My goodness, you keep all your children under one roof. Is it because there’s so much to inherit that none of them have become independent? So all those people are living together in a crowd? No wonder I was crushed by those two and couldn’t raise my head. You must be wealthy, so why live with grown sons? The thought alone gives me a headache.”
“If you continue with this attitude at home, the hospital director won’t be pleased. Then it’ll be difficult for me to defend you. So if you want to go home, you should correct your attitude first.”
“Why are you only criticizing my attitude? The family is rotten to begin with. Even though they say I wasn’t badly injured, someone still died in the accident—why haven’t I seen anyone visit me? Is this what family means? I don’t understand at all. Even the man who’s supposedly my father leaves his child with a caregiver, showing his face only occasionally, and when he does come, he only gets angry.”
“Everyone is busy with their own work, so it can’t be helped. They can’t just abandon their responsibilities and be tied to you all the time.”
“But not visiting a sick person even once seems wrong, doesn’t it? At this rate, I won’t recognize my family’s faces when I go home.”
“That… I’ll bring some photos next time I come. Looking at them might help jog your memory.”
“What a great idea. Learning my family’s faces from photographs.”
“Then what do you want? Right now, you’re just complaining about everything. Haven’t you considered that none of this would have happened if you hadn’t been trying to kill yourself in the first place?”
“Have you thought about why I might have attempted suicide? How desperate must a child be to consider dying alone? If I were a parent, that’s the first thing I’d be concerned about. Why do you put all the blame on the child? I really can’t get through to you. No wonder your child couldn’t grow up properly.”
“Well, it seems the atmosphere is heating up again. Let’s pause the conversation and take a deep breath.”
The doctor intervened as if trying to mediate. At this rate, the doctor seemed completely unnecessary. In fact, his constant interruptions were becoming annoying.
“I’m in a very calm state right now, so let’s continue talking. I understand that Cha Sukyung—I mean, my body—doesn’t have any issues. Are there any other health problems? Like cancer, tumors, or congenital diseases or something like that?”
“There’s no physical illness, but there is depression. There are medications that you normally take, but we’ve temporarily stopped the prescription because we don’t know how they might affect your memory. Once you go home, you’ll need to start taking the medication again.”
“Well, I’ll see about that and decide. It seems the depression might have disappeared along with the lost memories.”
“Doctor, could you please advise my son to take the current situation more seriously? From my perspective, my son seems to be completely thoughtless.”
“We can decide that through future counseling sessions. Since the patient’s condition has changed, we might adjust or discontinue the medication accordingly. Even though they don’t put much strain on the body, medications aren’t inherently good. If they’re truly unnecessary for the patient, there might be no need to take them.”
That’s right. The doctor finally said something helpful. I nodded vigorously with a very satisfied expression.
Honestly, even if Cha Sukyung had been suffering from depression and taking medication for it, it wouldn’t be necessary for me now. I wasn’t depressed; rather, I was quite hopeful facing this new life.
“Ah, and this is a personal question. It seems like something’s missing from my body. Is this congenital?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, what I mentioned before. …I noticed that I don’t have any balls. It’s not something you display publicly, but it’s important to a man, isn’t it? As a fellow man, you must understand how significant this issue is.”
The body swap with Cha Sukyung was headache enough, but this was one of the issues that had been tormenting me. Whether Cha Sukyung was born without testicles or had to have them removed due to some accident, I didn’t know. But for now, as the current me, knowing the whereabouts of the missing testicles was very important.
The man blushed at my question. Unable to guess whether discussing such a private matter made him embarrassed, ashamed, or angry, I stared at him blankly, waiting for an answer.
“They don’t exist.”
“What? They never existed? Isn’t that a big problem? You people are wealthy and run a hospital, so why did you leave your child like this? In an age where sex reassignment surgery is possible, couldn’t you have easily created testicles?”
“They don’t exist. They never did! Omegas don’t have them!”
The man shouted “BAM!” in response to my criticism about neglecting his child’s incomplete body part. Not immediately understanding the man’s answer, I was left with a blank expression.
“…Omegas… don’t have them?”
“That’s right, they don’t. It’s normal to be born without them. So I’d prefer if we didn’t discuss this topic anymore.”
“Omegas don’t have testicles? None of them? You don’t have them either? It’s normal not to have them?”
“Please stop… How much more are you planning to humiliate me?”
The man spoke as if sobbing, and even though I had pushed my supposed parent to the brink of tears, I failed to understand the situation and turned my gaze to the doctor.
“Doctor, is this true? Really… Omegas don’t have testicles? But Omegas are still men, right? This is a lie, isn’t it?”
“Uh, um. …It’s true that Omegas don’t have those parts. If they were born with them, that would actually be abnormal.”
This is real. The fact that Cha Sukyung, as an Omega, doesn’t have testicles, and that I, now living in Cha Sukyung’s body, will have to live without testicles from now on—it’s all reality. I felt an indescribable sense of loss, as if something precious had been stolen from me.
“Patient, you do know that you’re an Omega, right? It’s unclear what you remember and what you don’t, which is confusing for both you and those around you… Perhaps you don’t even retain general knowledge about Omegas?”
“I’m not sure what you mean by ‘general knowledge.’ Just the fact that I don’t have testicles is shocking enough…”
“You’ll need sex education again.”
Sex education at this age? I’d never received sex education even when I was living as Min Jaehee. Isn’t that something you naturally figure out? Having lived as a Beta for twenty years, the sudden situation of becoming an Omega was giving me a headache.
This wasn’t a simple matter after all.
I was seized by anxiety that it might not just be the testicles, but something else might be missing too. I realized this wasn’t just a matter of having rich parents or no longer having a body that was about to die.
“Come to think of it, I think some guy I saw yesterday told me not to give off pheromones.”
“You… have been going around without suppressing your pheromones at all?”
“How could I suppress something I don’t even know about?”
“Good heavens, then who was that Alpha you met? Where have you been wandering that a stranger Alpha would say such a thing to you?”
“How would I know? I just thought the guy next to me while I was smoking was talking nonsense.”
“What? Cigarettes? You smoked?”
“I’m an adult now, so let’s not make a big deal about smoking. If my chest feels tight, I can have a smoke.”
The man let out an “Aigo” groan at my nonchalant response.
“How could you smoke? Have you not thought about what others would say? Haven’t you considered that it’s bad for your health and could be harmful when you give birth later? Don’t you have any awareness that you’re an Omega?”
What’s this? So Omegas can’t smoke either? I thought it was ridiculous when people said, “How can a woman smoke?” but this is even more absurd. I’ve heard that discrimination against women is serious, but it seems discrimination against Omegas is a serious issue too.
Moreover, I’ve never thought about giving birth. Good heavens, me giving birth? I never even planned to have children, and now I’m supposed to give birth? From my stomach? This is not even a funny joke.
“It’s true that smoking isn’t good for health, but that’s not the important issue right now. Omegas and Alphas have pheromones that they can sense from each other, and properly suppressing these is very important. This is something that the guardian should pay special attention to and make sure the patient understands, so be sure not to forget to provide sex education to the patient.”
The doctor finally gave some doctor-like advice, though it felt completely unreal to me.
“Ugh, being an Omega sounds impossible. So many things you can’t do, and so many things you need to know. How do you even suppress pheromones? Do you keep them in your pocket or something?”
I meant it as a joke, but the people listening didn’t find it funny at all, and their frozen expressions remained unchanged. Rather, there was a mixture of complexity in their gazes as they looked at me as if this were an extremely serious situation.
“Why so serious? These things can be learned gradually.”
“Honestly, this is a very serious situation. Actually, pheromones aren’t something you learn about; they’re felt instinctively… I’m not sure if this can be learned verbally. Even with sex education, there are limitations to learning from text, but as you hear about it, the concept should become established, and sensing and suppressing pheromones shouldn’t be difficult. Yes, that should be the case.”
There was no confidence in the doctor’s voice as he spoke. Is it really that important? Having lived as a Beta until now, I’ve never thought about or tried to learn about the ecology of Alphas and Omegas, but it seems like an issue I should pay some attention to.
“It’s fine, it’s okay. Everything will work out.”
The more confident I became, the stronger the disbelief grew on the faces of the doctor and the man. Was Cha Sukyung’s face so untrustworthy?
“I’m telling you, it’s fine. It seems like I now know everything I need to know. Today’s consultation was very good. The doctor was excellent, and Father was wonderful too. Should we conclude with a round of applause?”
Thinking I had grasped the essentials, I tried to quickly wrap up the session before more headache-inducing nagging could fly my way, but it seemed to have the opposite effect, as my words were met with cold stares.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
