* * *
A little past 10 o’clock.
Once again today, Yoonho stood in front of a small sign visible in a corner of the neighborhood, taking long, deep breaths as if steeling himself.
After pulling an all-nighter at the office and finally getting off work in the afternoon, what woke Yoonho from his sleep was a single message.
[Jaehyuk hyung] Come out
With no explanations, location, or specified time, Yoonho had jumped out of bed at this abrupt message and rushed straight to Glam.
He was so startled that he hadn’t even properly dried his hair after showering and was wearing slippers instead of shoes.
So he was terribly cold.
He actually wanted to prepare himself mentally a bit more, but fearing catching a cold more, he hurriedly entered the establishment, which was, as expected, completely empty.
And the man who had greeted him last time once again welcomed him with a silent bow.
Following the same pattern as last time, Yoonho greeted the man and this time found his way to the room on his own and knocked.
There was no answer.
But sensing that this was the signal to enter, he immediately opened the door.
The moment he took one step inside, Yoonho had a premonition about his future.
That he would die today.
Socially, physically, or mentally.
Today’s Jaehyuk looked like he could commit murder with just his eyes.
That damn hell mouth must have really messed up.
So without even greeting him, Yoonho immediately prostrated himself.
“I’m sorry.”
At this sudden apology, Jaehyuk scanned Yoonho with his eyes.
It was a look that said, that’s only natural.
“…If I were to make an excuse, I kept quiet because I thought it would create more misunderstanding if a third party like me spoke up.”
That response was immediately met with a look that said that was also only natural.
Wanting to ask why he was so angry then, but holding back, Yoonho watched as Jaehyuk nodded his head.
For a moment, Yoonho frantically rolled his eyes, wondering if that gesture meant he should kneel, causing Jaehyuk to click his tongue in irritation.
“Sit down.”
No sooner had the words ended than Yoonho darted to the seat beside him, whereupon Jaehyuk poured him a drink.
A full one at that.
Without ice.
Whiskey.
It felt like he was being told to drink and die.
“Drink.”
At this brief, commanding tone, Yoonho took a sip of the alcohol.
It was so strong that his insides felt hot as it went down his throat. As he cautiously sipped the drink and put down his glass while checking Jaehyuk’s reaction, Jaehyuk stared at him intently.
Cold sweat ran down his back from that chilling gaze that made his heart shrink.
Praying that if he was going to be killed, he’d prefer it to be in one go, Jaehyuk finally opened his mouth.
“You’ve known that guy for a long time, right?”
At this unexpected question, Yoonho quickly assumed a proper posture.
“Yes. I’ve known him since freshman year of college, so about 8 years…”
Wondering if that would generally, that is, normally, or rather mostly be considered a long time, Yoonho rolled his eyes in thought as Jaehyuk asked with a serious face.
“Then you must know well.”
“…Know what, exactly?”
“Why that guy’s personality is the way it is.”
It was a question that gave him déjà vu.
Because it was a question he had asked himself.
No, it was a question everyone who met Lee Junghyun had.
What the hell is wrong with that bastard?
Thinking it was quite remarkable that he had only just thought of this question, Yoonho chewed his lip, wondering if he should talk about it or not.
But since it was unavoidable for the answer Jaehyuk wanted, he decided to just go ahead.
“This might be uncomfortable to hear, but three months after I met him, I asked Seojun the same thing. Why is that bastard’s personality like that? Seojun, looking really sorry, told me that as far as he could remember, he had been that way since he was three years old. I accepted that, but it still seemed strange, so I asked his other friends too, and they all said it was just how he was born. Especially that terrifying mouth of his.”
“…Not because of his environment?”
Again, this question gave him déjà vu.
Because he had asked the exact same thing.
“I thought about that too, but the conclusion was… environment only added to it. In fact, if it wasn’t innate and he originally had a gentler personality, he couldn’t have grown up with that temperament in that house. No matter how bad the environment, an anaconda can’t grow in a sewer.”
Just as a polar bear can’t grow in the desert or a megalodon in a lake, Jaehyuk nodded in understanding.
Even to Jaehyuk, Junghyun’s insensitivity and boldness seemed innate. It’s not something that could be learned.
So that was settled.
The problem was…
“What happened?”
Seeing Jaehyuk’s miserable expression, Yoonho couldn’t help but ask.
Though he knew it was a stupid question, he asked it wondering if there was something he didn’t know.
As expected, Jaehyuk shot him a sharp look as if asking if he was really calling that a question.
“I know it’s a funny question, but his mouth always gets him in trouble. He always just tells the truth. Too much truth.”
At that one sentence that perfectly described Junghyun, Jaehyuk quietly looked at Yoonho.
“…You really know him well, as expected.”
“I’ve been on the receiving end a lot. When you talk with that guy—I mean, Junghyun—you think, how can such a person exist, but when you listen, what he says isn’t wrong.”
So everything was actually true.
It’s just that from the listener’s perspective, every word is uncomfortable and painful.
“That’s why… it’s infuriating.”
“…That’s right. He’s the last person in this world you should talk to when you need comfort. He’s not just a fact thug but a fact bomber…”
Though talking with him might create a rebound effect where you get angry and develop a sense of competitiveness, Junghyun was definitely someone you shouldn’t talk to when you’re struggling or depressed.
And Jaehyuk completely agreed with that.
The only issue was why that foul personality hadn’t been exhibited this time.
“Why didn’t someone like that tell me about the pregnancy?”
“…I find that really strange too. From what I’ve heard about the contract terms, the Junghyun I know would have told you immediately upon finding out about the pregnancy and looked for a solution. But he didn’t. That’s very unlike him… which ultimately means he was afraid of what your answer might be. After all, he really liked you.”
“So, why couldn’t someone who supposedly likes me tell me such a thing? If you like someone, you should try to keep them, right? Even using a child as leverage.”
As Jaehyuk’s voice grew increasingly agitated, suggesting his emotions were escalating, Yoonho quickly put on the brakes without hesitation on this point.
“That’s not right. You know better than anyone that he would never use a child as a bargaining chip.”
At Yoonho’s unusually cool-headed statement, Jaehyuk closed his mouth.
That was true.
If he had been that kind of person, Jaehyuk would have been the one to suggest divorce first.
“Still, he should have told me. It’s my child too.”
“He probably just found it annoying and didn’t want to. He didn’t want you to be disappointed, and he didn’t want the emotional drain of the process. He tends to try to handle everything at once because he hates hassle. He hates working two or three times on the same thing and hates wasting time unnecessarily. So he runs simulations in his head first, and when he comes up with a perfect answer, he finishes it in one go. And if he thinks there’s no possibility, he doesn’t even try. Putting it nicely, he’s extremely pragmatic; putting it badly, he’s lazy.”
“Why would someone so pragmatic engage in self-destructive behavior?”
Despite the unhelpful explanation, Yoonho immediately understood what he meant.
It seemed Jaehyuk had discovered that Junghyun had put suppressants in his bloodstream. And Yoonho guessed that was the part Jaehyuk found most incomprehensible.
Because he had felt the same way.
Why would he go that far?
“That’s just because his personality is foul. In college, there was a time when we taught kids surfing as part of a volunteer activity for the surfing club… and that guy, he would never lose to kids. He shows no mercy. If he tries so hard to win even against children, when his opponent is his father whom he hates the most, he’d do anything. That’s his personality.”
“So, why on earth…”
About to ask why his personality was like that, Jaehyuk stopped himself.
It’s not like a stuttering audio.
He was repeating the same words over and over.
At this point, they should be discussing ontology, but that was exhausting and tedious.
In a situation where no answer could be found no matter what, Jaehyuk drained his glass in one go, feeling a burning in his gut. Watching him carefully, Yoonho cautiously continued.
“Of course, it’s understandable that you can’t comprehend his eccentric personality… but if it’s any consolation, although he seems to live recklessly, that’s not actually the case. He even plans his mistakes intentionally, so there are no cases where he genuinely made a mistake or misjudged something.”
As Jaehyuk refilled his empty glass, he stared at Yoonho with a look that questioned what relevance this had to the current situation.
Recognizing that murderous gaze, Yoonho quickly got to the point.
“What I mean is, he precisely controlled the dosage and strictly followed the precautions. He even took a break for about a year in the middle to prevent developing tolerance, as prescribed. Of course, you might wonder why he still drank alcohol, but strangely, this drug is a hormone that isn’t affected by alcohol, so he was told drinking was fine. So, he’s definitely not a reckless person. He’s meticulous and shrewd. That’s why he doesn’t make mistakes. As far as I know, Junghyun has only made one mistake. This pregnancy.”
The moment those words ended, Jaehyuk paused and looked at Yoonho.
It was a look of incredulity.
As if asking if he really thought that was comforting.
Feeling like he’d thrown chili powder onto a conversation that had been going well, Yoonho hurriedly began damage control.
“I misspoke. I’m not saying the pregnancy was a mistake, but rather the current situation. Various coincidences overlapped, but I definitely sent him contraceptives. But he said he didn’t take them. If it had been a simple mistake, someone like Junghyun would have gone out and bought them somehow. Nothing is easier to obtain than contraceptives.”
Having quickly laid this groundwork, Yoonho moved on to the next point.
“The fact that he deliberately didn’t buy them means he didn’t want to take them. His mistake was only in not telling you about this pregnancy in time. And he confessed in his own way because he regrets it. Of course, not informing you beforehand for the sake of efficiency is so typical of Junghyun.”
“That’s exactly the problem.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
