Bad Relationship 139

At Jaehyuk’s look that said “because that’s how I feel right now,” Junghyun closed his mouth.

Despite his seemingly genuinely apologetic demeanor, Jaehyuk continued to stare at Junghyun with accusing eyes.

“I don’t care about anything else, but you should have told me about the baby first.”

“…I thought it would take too long if I told you first. With your personality, I figured you wouldn’t like announcing something like this to the media either. And…”

Pausing there, Junghyun carefully chose his words.

Knowing that his mouth was the root of all evil, he selected his vocabulary to express himself in the most refined language possible, then finally opened his mouth.

“…Regarding the pregnancy itself, it was difficult to tell you directly. Honestly, I thought you might dislike it. If you asked me to terminate the pregnancy as per our contract… I thought that would be rather shocking.”

Keeping the words “because I wanted to have this child” tucked away inside, Junghyun tapped the floor lightly with his toe.

Despite offering various excuses, it ultimately came down to his fear of rejection by Jaehyuk—an uncharacteristic admission that made Jaehyuk stare at him in disbelief.

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you originally chose me precisely because you didn’t want children.”

Jaehyuk was speechless at that point.

That was certainly true.

It was true that after seeing Junghyun’s medical records under an alias, he had thought he’d found the perfect partner.

He’d been thoroughly disgusted with complicated blood relationships.

But…

“That was before we got married.”

“The contract is about after marriage. We were going to divorce after a year anyway, and I didn’t want things to get complicated because of a child. And I wanted to have the baby… Besides issues with the family registry and custody rights, it violates the terms of our contract. Maybe I’m wrong, but I could see that you despised marriages maintained because of children, and even if you accepted the child and maintained the marriage, I thought it wouldn’t be good for the child in the end. If this child takes after me, I don’t think they could bear a family held together only by a sense of obligation.”

Jaehyuk couldn’t find any words to counter Junghyun’s point-by-point explanation.

No, he couldn’t refute it.

It was all true.

It was he who had said that if there was a pregnancy, the one who made the mistake would handle it; he who had included abortion in the nuance of “handling it”; he who had said he didn’t want the family registry to get complicated.

It was also true that he thought maintaining an unwanted marriage because of a child was hell.

Everything was definitely correct, but…

He had already decided not to keep that contract.

He had clearly thought that Junghyun knew his thoughts, but it seems that wasn’t the case.

For Junghyun, even if emotions changed, a contract was still a contract.

No, perhaps he trusted a legally binding contract more than fickle emotions.

At Jaehyuk’s look that said he truly didn’t know what to do with him, Junghyun awkwardly scratched his neck.

Then he cautiously continued.

“I’m an extreme realist. So, I don’t expect my life to work out dramatically well. Honestly, I’ve never even thought about wanting to be happy. I don’t know what happiness is or how it’s different from now. Watching baseball, drinking beer, talking nonsense with friends, working hard, occasionally making things difficult for my father and Lee Jeonghoo, meeting with my uncle for meals and chatting. I thought I’d just live like that and die alone at a suitable time. But…”

Seeming to hit a mental block at that point, Junghyun tried to find the right words again, then frowned as if that wasn’t right and carefully redirected his thoughts.

“So… because of that, I lived without caring about others. I didn’t care if people hated me or what others said. My life wouldn’t change just because others disliked me, and life goes on somehow even if relationships are a mess. But…”

Breaking off there, Junghyun lowered his gaze as if embarrassed. And fidgeting with his hands in his pockets, he calmly appealed:

“…I didn’t want you to hate me any more than you already do. From the beginning, I thought you were a good person.”

“…Just that?”

The question meant: am I still just a “good person” to you?

Perceptive as always, Junghyun understood that meaning well.

So he started to speak but hesitated.

Then, once again choosing his words as carefully as possible, he slowly began to speak.

“The only person I’ve ever wanted to become family with in my life was Seojun. But in reality, I wanted to become part of Seojun’s family. I wouldn’t have cared if I had married Minjun instead of Seojun, or even if I had just become their adopted son. I felt like I would be stable if I became part of that family. And if I wasn’t going to be family with those people, I had no intention of getting married. It seemed unlikely that I would live well regardless. My personality isn’t very good, after all. But living with you, I’ve been happy. So I want to become a real family with you. Not with your family members, but with you.”

Despite this confession that had wrung out a lifetime’s worth of courage from Junghyun, Jaehyuk still maintained an expressionless face.

At that face, Junghyun added the words he had omitted.

“Of course, if you still want that…”

At this voice lacking the confidence and spirit so unlike Junghyun, Jaehyuk ran his hand through his hair as if confused.

He understood all of Junghyun’s explanations. And he could see why he had done what he did.

But despite that, he still felt strange.

No, his heart wasn’t settled yet.

He was angry, but he didn’t know why he was angry.

In this state, a conversation would only turn into an emotional fight.

So he changed the subject.

“The medication?”

At this sudden shift in topic, Junghyun raised his head.

His face asked what Jaehyuk was talking about.

Junghyun seemed to be rather tense and was slow to grasp the situation.

“The suppressants that you inject into your veins. Are you still taking them?”

“I stopped. To get the proper effect because of you, I’d need to increase the dosage, but that would be too dangerous.”

“…Because of me?”

“When exposed to a dominant Alpha’s pheromones, hormones go wild. It would settle down quickly, so I thought I might be getting used to it, but it seems it was because of the pregnancy.”

Only then did Jaehyuk realize his mistake. He thought it was fine because he had been suppressing it while awake, but that wasn’t possible while sleeping.

And Junghyun and he had always shared the same bed.

He hadn’t been conscious of it because he had never shared a bed with anyone before.

“Is your body okay now?”

“Yes. The check-up results are good. For someone who just bought a life, I’m young and quite healthy, so both the baby and I are healthy.”

Noting that Junghyun seemed to know he had “bought a life,” Jaehyuk suppressed his complex emotions and lowered his voice.

“…Alright, that’s enough for now. Let’s eat first.”

“Okay.”

Seeing how Junghyun kept glancing at him nervously even after obediently ending the conversation, Jaehyuk headed to the dining room first, and Junghyun quietly followed.

Neither of them said a word throughout the entire journey to the dining room.

And the silence continued until they returned to the bedroom after finishing their meal.

* * *

Due to his complicated head and heart, Jaehyuk, who couldn’t eat properly, roughly finished the dishes and headed straight for the bathroom.

Although he was bothered by Junghyun who kept checking his reactions in a manner so unlike him, it was difficult to have a conversation right now.

There were certain emotions that kept boiling up inside.

His head clearly understood, but emotionally, he couldn’t accept it.

So with the intention of being as careful as possible, he kept his mouth firmly shut until he finished the dishes, then immediately entered the bathroom.

And after taking an unusually long shower today, when he returned to the bedroom, he marveled once again.

At Junghyun’s indifference.

He had worried that the pregnant guy might not be able to eat or sleep due to the stress of this situation, but that was the most unnecessary concern in the world.

Junghyun had eaten dinner very well and was now sleeping very well.

Still in a strange position.

“…You really do sleep well…”

Sighing for a moment as he was about to correct Junghyun’s posture, Jaehyuk suddenly realized something.

No, that’s not it.

Of course, he normally slept well, but this level of oversleeping had started around January.

So that was a sign of pregnancy.

Now that he thought about it, the eating, the sleeping, the reluctance to move—all were typical pregnancy symptoms.

But they hadn’t been married long, and this guy had such bizarre sleeping habits that he hadn’t recognized anything as unusual.

“Haah…”

Momentarily overcome with self-contempt, Jaehyuk covered his face with both hands.

No wonder Junghyun had been setting the stage, saying things like he would regret it and telling him not to claim he was perceptive…

“This is driving me crazy…”

Feeling indignant, angry, a little sad, resentful, and irritated—in such a complicated and strange mood, Jaehyuk tugged at his still-wet hair, then finally raised his head. He neatly arranged the free-spirited Junghyun, who was unrestrained even in sleep, and carefully covered him with the blanket.

Throughout all this, Junghyun not only didn’t wake up but seemed to be sleeping so quietly that he might not even be breathing.

But even in the midst of this, looking at his peacefully sleeping face made something well up inside him.

At the reflux of anger that he had momentarily forgotten, Jaehyuk picked up his phone, which he had tossed onto the side table.

And he sent a brief text message.

[Come out.]