“Because it would be an unwelcome child. I know well… how sad it is to not be loved, to grow up only physically amid indifference, no, amid hatred.”
Cayden couldn’t grasp the reality that he was pregnant. Assad had come to Pima, and before he could calm his surprised heart, he had heard about the child from Ramon. All of it felt like a dream. It was unbelievable and only confusing.
Even so, words escaped without a moment’s hesitation.
“I will leave Helio immediately.”
“Cayden. What are you……”
“I won’t tell the child who their father is and will live keeping it a secret for life. So… the child, please let me raise the child.”
Cayden spoke in a subdued voice.
The atmosphere of the training ground, which had been immersed in silence, cracked in all directions as if thin ice was broken by a kick. The sound of people swallowing their breath with astonished faces and open mouths spread out.
“So……”
Cayden’s rambling words trailed off.
It wasn’t just anyone’s child, but a child inheriting the blood of the Empire’s Crown Prince. Cayden belatedly realized that his request would not be accepted. He would not be able to leave the palace with the child. He had a premonition that when the time came to be driven out, it would be only him.
“But since you cherished me a little, since you probably still do… if you could show me just a little mercy……”
With an uncertain voice, Cayden dragged out his words. His words became blurred again. However, this time, it wasn’t by his own will that his words ended.
“Cayden!”
Assad Mekerius knelt before his partner. The two hands of the man, who knelt on one knee like a kingdom’s knight, hastily grasped Cayden’s trembling hands.
People were once again astonished by the fact that the Empire’s Crown Prince knelt before someone else. It was an even bigger shock than before. They couldn’t close their mouths even as they quickly left the place following Jahan’s instructions.
“Cayden.”
“……”
“Our child will become the Emperor.”
Assad said, looking up at Cayden who was at a loss with surprise. He held him more strongly as if wanting to transfer his warmth to Cayden’s cold hands.
“On the day I inherit the Emperor’s crown from my mother, you will become the Empire’s Empress. Our child will be called ‘Your Highness’ just like me now. Because that child will be my successor.”
Listening to Assad’s calmly whispered words, Cayden bit his lip.
Assad, who was saying that he would become the Empress, didn’t show the same hesitation as before. The light sparkling in his golden eyes was only bright. It was something so bright that lies, mockery, and deceit couldn’t even come close without being shattered.
No one could distort what Assad had just conveyed to him as a lie. A strange feeling traced Cayden’s eyes.
“You said it yourself. If there is love… anyone can become the Empress. You said they could eventually stand beside the Emperor as the Empress.”
“……”
“But you thought that couldn’t be our story. Because I don’t love you. You said it couldn’t be.”
Assad’s brow slightly furrowed.
“It wasn’t true, Cayden. The condition you mentioned for the Empress has already been fulfilled. We just didn’t know that fact, neither you nor I.”
“That’s……”
“The relationship between us is even destined by the gods, so there’s a bonus. If there’s anyone who opposes our lifetime together, I can throw them in the underground prison for blasphemy.”
Assad kissed the back of Cayden’s hand. His lips were soft as they touched the skin that was messy with scars. It was such a warm kiss that it felt like tears would come.
“The condition you mentioned for the Empress has already been fulfilled. We just didn’t know that fact, neither you nor I.”
The condition for me to become the Empress.
Into Cayden’s mind, which had been emptied white, a question suddenly arose. It was a question he had never been able to ask Assad until now. It was something so pitiful that he could never bring himself to say it.
“……”
Still with a pale face, Cayden moved his lips. And finally, he asked Assad.
“…Do you love me?”
It was such a heavy question, yet as brief as a sigh.
Cayden didn’t expect a wonderful answer to come back to him. Yet his voice, his hands trembled unsightly.
“Yes.”
“……”
“I love you.”
Resting his cheek on the back of Cayden’s rigid hand, Assad said. With the most affectionate face, he repeatedly whispered love.
“I want you to be where my eyes can reach. I want you to be where my hands can reach, where our voices can reach each other. I want you to be close enough… that I can immediately embrace you and kiss you.”
“……”
“Cayden. I didn’t know that my desire for you to be by my side was love.”
Cayden swallowed his breath. The area around his chest felt tight, as if someone had been striking his heart wildly. His heart was beating at such a strange pace.
“Everyone told me I shouldn’t love someone else. No one taught me how to love.”
“……”
“I deceived you, deceived myself. But not anymore.”
Assad smiled.
“Let them babble all they want. Even if my dead grandfather jumps out of his coffin, it won’t matter. Because I will stick to your side and not fall away. Cayden. Because I will love you.”
Assad’s face, which had uttered vulgar words, was confident. Not even the slightest worry or anxiety could be felt in his eyes.
“Cayden, let me be your eternal partner. Let me be the father of your child. Not because of the oracle, but by your will… stay by my side.”
In the language most familiar to his partner, Assad spoke of the future. In Assad’s golden eyes was a conviction that even Cayden, who didn’t think about the future, couldn’t deny.
A feeling so bright that he had never experienced before, an unfamiliar hope, made Cayden dizzy.
“In the past, I didn’t believe in Jahan’s feelings. While being so certain of my feelings toward him, I didn’t try to look into Jahan’s heart.”
Marju had told Cayden.
Now he seemed to know for sure why Marju thought he resembled him. In the story Marju had shared, Cayden also found himself.
He had never tried to fully look into Assad’s heart until now.
Assad’s heart, which he only faced today, was as hot as his hands and as affectionate as his gaze. It was somewhat sticky and dark like the intimate time they had shared. Like the fire they had lit in the desert when night fell, it was emitting a beautiful light with various colors intertwined.
Cayden chewed on Marju’s regret once more in his mouth. I should have had the courage to convey my feelings just once. My feelings… just once to Assad.
Slowly, Cayden opened his mouth.
“I too……”
“……”
“I love you, Your Highness.”
Cayden smiled as he spoke of love without regret. Perhaps he was crying.
“I want to be with you.”
Cayden fully revealed his feelings that he had only kept pressing down all along. It was a heart that held only Assad, one person.
Assad, who had risen hastily, embraced Cayden. The short hair that had become disheveled from the sandy wind gently tickled Cayden’s skin.
“Do you remember what I said the day I first met you in Amun’s form?”
Assad asked in a trembling voice, soaked in excitement and joy.
“I am Cayden’s companion. I am the closest servant who can share stories, joy, and solitude with you.”
The young servant who had barged onto the bedroom balcony without a sound had said to Cayden with a grumpy face.
“Cayden. I will be the only person who shares your joy and solitude, your happiness and sadness. You too… become my only person.”
It was an absurdly lovely and ecstatic proposal. Cayden, with a dazed face, nodded.
“I will.”
He kept muttering similar words like “I’ll do that.”
“Cayden.”
Assad’s body tensed as he embraced his one and only.
“…My partner. My one and only jewel.”
“……”
“The most noble and beautiful in the world, my bride.”
Assad whispered in Cayden’s ear.
Feeling the truth that was sweet like a lie, Cayden closed his eyes. He urgently embraced Assad in return. His heart was so full it was unbearable.
Before he knew it, a bright smile had spread across Cayden’s face as well.
In the empty training ground, the two held each other for a long time. Silent happiness was with them.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
