It was unfair. He had to be separated from Cayden for a full ten days because the Crown Prince was unmarried, yet that shameless person had brought his partner to the conference as his only aide.
“I apologize if it was uncomfortable for you. But I was worried that during my absence, my partner might drift away from me again. I simply couldn’t come alone.”
The Crown Prince approached Assad first and spoke while his aide had briefly left the conference room. It was because he had noticed Assad’s uncomfortable demeanor.
Assad smiled back at the man. It was closer to a sneer. He found the Crown Prince amusing. Wasn’t it truly detestable how he suddenly started using fluent imperial language as soon as his aide left?
“The process of promising marriage to him wasn’t smooth. There were so many interferences when I, who would become the sovereign of a country, said I would marry the one I cherish.”
“…I understand. You can’t kill them all. It must have been frustrating.”
Assad lightly responded to the Crown Prince’s words. He went along with it because he sympathized to some extent.
“I didn’t expect the Empire’s Crown Prince to understand me.”
“I too will likely face a similar situation soon. But well, I have no worries.”
“Yes. You’ll navigate through it well.”
The Crown Prince spoke while meeting Assad’s gaze. He was smiling with his eyes gently creased.
“The Crown Prince should give one more warning before the wedding ceremony.”
“That’s right. On a day that should be filled only with joy, I can’t have blood on these hands.”
Having said that, the Crown Prince immediately smiled with gentle eyes when his aide reappeared. He pretended to be awkward with the imperial language and asked his aide for interpretation. He truly was a person with only a clean face.
The Crown Prince, who gave a small smile toward Assad, who had a sour expression, added one more statement while his aide was busy. It was after lowering his voice close to a whisper.
“At the next conference, I will also get to meet the person Your Highness cherishes.”
“……”
“I sincerely hope everything you wish for goes well.”
The following words weren’t heard properly. Cherish. That word, which still felt awkward, made Assad’s head rigid. His mouth dried as if he had his weakness exposed. His mind turned white. His heart raced uncontrollably.
But in the end, Assad didn’t deny the Crown Prince’s words. It was because he thought that denying the man’s words would be no different from denying the man he thought of when hearing those words.
And… he didn’t want to deny his feelings anymore. So Assad remained silent.
Back in his lodging, Assad thought about Cayden for a long time. He found himself once again picturing the face of the man he had thought of constantly throughout the past week.
Lying on the bed with his back against it, Assad quietly closed his eyes. Submerged in darkness, he floated among his longing for Cayden. Repeatedly closing and opening his eyes, he examined the truth that was still unfamiliar and difficult, but the feelings he had finally come to accept.
Under the beautiful desert night sky, Assad completely realized what the emotion, the desire he harbored for Cayden was. He had to admit that he had stepped into a long-standing taboo. Love. The feelings that he had pretended not to know until the end but could no longer hide had thoroughly soaked his entire body.
But he couldn’t bring himself to speak of that love. He couldn’t convey his feelings to Cayden.
He thought it would be better to keep his mouth shut than to reveal such clumsy feelings. He was also afraid because it didn’t feel real at all.
His love was foolish and crude like a newborn baby. Like monsters, it was only strong and violent. If he proudly showed such a thing, Cayden might be disgusted and turn his back on him.
Perhaps he might even run away.
Assad thought that time was needed between himself and Cayden. With his current state, he was only proving that love makes an emperor stupid.
But…
‘How long do I plan to keep backtracking?’
Assad’s closed eyes slowly opened. His eyelashes sparkled in the light.
He had to worry first about whether Cayden would believe his words. And if he wanted Cayden to trust him, he had to show his feelings honestly first. Since Cayden seemed both perceptive and imperceptive, he would have to show it properly.
“No matter how much the gods may desire it, I know that someone like me… cannot sit in such a noble position.”
“Such a thing might happen. As in the stories people love, if the Emperor and Empress… if the two people truly love each other.”
“But Your Highness… Your Highness doesn’t love me. For me… such a thing won’t happen.”
Assad recalled the words Cayden had barely managed to pour out to him. He recalled the face drenched in rain, the face of someone who felt betrayed by him.
It hurt. Just recalling it was painful, as if he was being hit by daggers pouring down like rain.
If I speak of love, will Cayden stay by my side for a lifetime?
Since he wasn’t Cayden, he didn’t know the answer. He might be rejected. Cayden might refuse to ascend to the Empress position, saying that the condition he mentioned was the love of two people, not just one person’s love.
But being rejected would be better than leaving Cayden’s misunderstanding as it was. It would be better than ignoring the wounds he had received.
To think he only realized this now. Assad was sick of his own naivety that only emerged in front of Cayden.
Assad looked at his hand. He stared intently at the ring on his ring finger, resembling his bride.
“Acting scared despite it not suiting me.”
Assad clicked his tongue at himself. He mocked himself.
I must convey my feelings to Cayden.
Even if Cayden didn’t want him, Assad had no intention of letting Cayden go. He had already decided that, yet ridiculously, he got scared and tried to act like a gentle lamb.
“It’s okay if you don’t believe my feelings right away. I can make you believe throughout our lifetime.”
Embracing worry and anxiety while circling the same spot over and over again didn’t suit his temperament. He had to move forward first. As Assad Mekerius, not as Amun.
“Someday, Cayden too… will love me.”
It wouldn’t matter even if Cayden only took him into his heart after becoming a white-haired old man.
A premature imagination, the thought of wanting to kiss Cayden, made Assad smile once more. Not anxiety, but new hope tickled his heart.
* * *
The conference schedule, which was expected to continue for ten days, was reduced by about three days. This was possible because the interests of the two heirs regarding newly emerged issues aligned well.
Without even thinking of taking off the uncomfortable uniform, Assad hurriedly returned to the capital, Acro.
The thoughtful gifts from Yeon Kingdom to the allied Empire were with him, but the Empire’s Crown Prince couldn’t pay any attention to those gifts. This was because all his nerves were focused on his partner, whom he would face again.
Postponing the audience with the Emperor who would be in the main palace, Assad immediately made his way to the annex palace. He moved urgently, getting rid of all the servants and guards who annoyingly stuck to him.
Soon, Assad stepped into the west wing of the annex palace.
It was an early return. Cayden probably hadn’t received news of him yet. Assad couldn’t predict whether his sudden appearance would please or surprise Cayden.
But regardless of what was inside, Cayden would definitely first open his eyes wide and look up at him. Then he would calm down as usual. Assad freely imagined his bride who would smile at him shyly when seeing him. Just imagining such groundlessly childish thoughts made his heart flutter.
With long legs, he climbed the stairs in big strides and walked the corridor almost running, and Assad stood in front of the Crown Prince’s consort’s bedroom. He was about to fling the door open abruptly but stopped and carefully knocked on the door.
But Cayden gave no answer. Seeing that nearly half of the guards in the west wing were absent, he might be out with Lihet.
Assad paced in front of the large door that wouldn’t give him an answer. Then finally, unable to hold back, he opened the door. He wanted to confirm for sure that Cayden wasn’t there. Only then could he immediately go out to look for him.
As expected, Cayden wasn’t beyond the door. What greeted Assad was an alien landscape he hadn’t expected.
Assad fell silent. He lost his words. He froze, unable even to think of turning back to look for Cayden.
“……”
The Crown Prince’s consort’s bedroom had changed to how it was before Assad married Cayden. As if a person named Cayden had never stayed there for even a moment, it was simply empty.
* * *
The Crown Prince who returned after completing the conference entered the Emperor’s audience hall in the main palace. No, he barged in.
Assad Mekerius, who kicked his way into the audience hall, stared at the Emperor who was in the middle of talking with the ministers who had returned from the conference. The golden eyes that had sparkled with expectation of meeting his bride had calmly settled down. It was a chilling kind of calmness.
Empress Kasim, who saw his son’s face, sighed inwardly. He tactfully dismissed the ministers. He frowned, thinking that a tiresome debate would follow.
The Emperor was silent. He only looked down at his son with an emotionless face no different from usual.
“Where did you send my bride?”
“To see you unable to control your pheromones. This is also a first. On your way here, how many people did you suffocate?”
“……”
“Assad. Do you know that your pheromones are now sharp enough to stab and kill someone?”
Heset asked. But he didn’t want an answer. With a crooked smile, the Emperor immediately continued. It was with a monotonous voice that revealed no emotion.
“I didn’t send the Crown Prince’s consort away. I just made him disappear.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
