Chapter 124
‘Rafi.’
In the early parts of the novel, before Louise and Rafael’s relationship soured, didn’t Louise call Rafael by that nickname? Ruan remembered that this pet name held a very special meaning for Rafael, who had only heard contemptuous titles his entire life.
‘That’s why later, when Rafael kidnapped Louise. Louise, who had become completely hostile to Rafael and was kidnapped by him, called him by his full name, and Rafael got angry, asking why she wouldn’t call him Rafi.’
Even thinking about it again, he was truly a surprising character in many ways. Anyway, it seemed that Rafael kidnapping Louise and their complete falling out hadn’t happened yet.
Moreover, with Rafael currently acting as Volker’s dog, seeing Louise mention that ‘Rafi’ had talked about Ruan…
‘It looks like Rafael contacted Louise as I suggested.’
Although he wasn’t sure why his name came up there. From the situation, it seemed that the misunderstanding between the two had been cleared up.
If so, would their misunderstanding and eventual catastrophic end not just be something that hadn’t happened yet, but something that wouldn’t happen in the future? As Ruan was pondering this, he spoke.
“I met Marquis Bettin when I went to the capital. It seems I left an impression on him.”
Thanks to his rapid actions in various ways, as a kidnapping victim who scolded the kidnapper and then walked out on his own feet, it might have been harder not to remember him.
But what was important to Louise wasn’t Ruan’s connection with Rafael. Once again, her answer didn’t quite align with Ruan’s words.
“That child said you’re very close to the Grand Duke.”
As Louise continued speaking, the wind blew, clouds drifted, and the moonlight brightened.
“So I’ll ask you this. Why doesn’t the Grand Duke dream of revenge?”
But the moonlight that settled on Louise’s face like a spotlight this time didn’t illuminate her green eyes filled with determination.
“Why, after experiencing such things. Even when seeing the person who committed such acts living well, holding their head high under this sky. How can he just continue living like that? How is that possible?”
Ruan looked at Louise’s face, fully revealed under the bright moonlight.
“And even a lover, you say? Being happy while playing at love? How can that be possible?”
Unlike the Louise of this period who usually only thought about rushing forward with certainty and determination in her heart… Her face now showed eyes reddened with impatience, seeming to lack conviction.
‘So it was like that after all.’
Ruan recalled the character he knew very well: Louise from “Tales of the Sirah Empire.”
Originally, Louise could focus solely on revenge and the imperial throne without seeing anything else because she didn’t recognize what she had. She thought she had lost everything on the day she fled from Volker. Believing herself to be destitute, her eyes could only see what she had lost.
Only after losing something in the process of chasing what she had lost. Especially after Erich, her husband who had overexerted himself to save her, died. Only after realizing she had actually loved him while holding his lifeless body in her arms.
Louise realizes.
The day she lost everything she had was like the end of the world. She thought she was just destitute until she could reclaim what she lost that day…
During the time she thought was just a process to reclaim what was lost, a meaningless void, she had unexpectedly gained many new things. Yet, being tied to her previous end, she herself hadn’t noticed it.
Above all, the things she had newly gained and lost without realizing were as valuable as what she had lost before.
Only then does Louise think for the first time:
Is this path I’m on really the right one?
But just because cracks had started to form in the engine that drove her, she couldn’t stop now. She had already come too far.
In the end, Louise sits on the imperial throne, which has lost all the precious things that made it valuable, leaving only an empty shell, and meets a futile ending.
But the current Louise was different.
“Of course, what was lost in the past is important too. But there are things we shouldn’t destroy while dwelling on the past. Your Grace the Grand Duke simply knows this.”
Ruan spoke, looking at Louise with her reddened eyes.
“Just as Your Majesty has such things too.”
The Louise in the novel knew that Erich would eventually die soon. After all, her being in the Holy Empire and being given power were all based on his impending death.
It must not have been easy to realize her love for him while using the byproducts of his death for her own desires.
But unlike in the novel, a cure for the wasting disease was discovered before Erich died. Because of this, Erich would not die.
Now, Erich was no longer a predicted loss for Louise, and she had the possibility of a future with Erich.
Moreover, there was Rafael, with whom she had spent her childhood. In the novel, Louise heard that Rafael had become Volker’s subordinate and thought he had completely turned his back on her. This led to ongoing conflicts between them, eventually resulting in her killing him with her own hands.
But before all that happened, Rafael had contacted Louise, and the two seemed to be maintaining an amicable relationship after clearing up their misunderstanding.
In other words, the Louise standing before Ruan now…
‘She must have realized the weight of what she has much earlier than in the novel.’
This fact would have hindered her from pouring her life into what she had already lost. However, having lived equating her life with revenge until now, she would have found it difficult to accept this version of herself.
That’s why she had come this far, pushing herself unreasonably, and why she looked so anxious. Desperately wanting to deny the fact that she was wavering.
This was the conclusion Ruan had drawn about the sense of discomfort he had felt. And this guess seemed to be correct.
Ruan looked at Louise, who was standing still without answering. Her face, revealed under the moonlight, was pale.
It was after some time had passed that she opened her mouth.
“Rafi said you were a strange person. That you acted as if you knew everything. According to what I’ve found out, you’re just someone who has lived an utterly ordinary life, never leaving this cold land, so that shouldn’t be possible. But I understand what Rafi was talking about.”
Louise, who had been speaking as if in a monologue, asked Ruan.
“Is that how I appear in your eyes?”
At that moment, Ruan picked out the most ordinary-sounding words from the numerous thoughts that came to his mind.
“How dare I judge Your Majesty the Empress? From the perspective of a common person like myself, I just vaguely think that Your Majesty is someone who has many precious things.”
That alone would be enough for Louise.
Ruan looked at Louise, who had once again tightly closed her lips. In the most remote part of the empire, the pale woman standing precariously under the dim moonlight no longer seemed to have the energy or the thought to ransack this frontier territory.
Louise, as if forgetting that Ruan was standing in front of her, quietly mulled over her thoughts while looking into the distance. Sensing that when she finished her contemplation, her task would be to return to her precious ones rather than stirring up the Grand Duke’s territory, Ruan spoke.
“If there’s nothing you particularly need, I’ll be on my way now.”
Only then did light return to Louise’s eyes. Ruan, looking into the green eyes he had read about countless times through text, said,
“I hope there will be no regrets or sorrows on the path Your Majesty walks.”
Ruan, who had arbitrarily changed the greeting that should have included ‘May the goddess be with you,’ turned his back on Louise, leaving her there. And he began to move his feet.
He too, to go to where his precious person was.
* * *
When he first possessed ‘Ruan Daen,’ Ruan thought his possession would have no effect on this world.
After all, Ruan hadn’t possessed a great magician who could overturn the world like others. Nor had he possessed someone like a hidden powerhouse who could suddenly appear and solve everything.
Ruan Daen was just an utterly ordinary person, just as Kim Ha-jin had been. Therefore, just as Kim Ha-jin’s disappearance from that world would have had no particular impact, he thought that him becoming Ruan Daen would have no effect on others either.
But the change of one ordinary person who seemed unlikely to cause anything actually brings about changes to the people around them, and even to the people around those people. Even if it’s a very small change, it’s certainly there. If such small changes accumulate, they might eventually change something very big and important.
The influence one person has on another is such a frightening and remarkable thing. Regardless of whether that person is great or not.
Ruan thought about the changes he had caused, whether intentionally or unintentionally. And also about the people who had been positively or negatively affected by those changes.
As he did so, at some point, Ruan found himself standing in front of the person who had changed the most because of him.
“Your Grace.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
