#Side Story 05
Saheon hyung approached me, pulling his carrier. I lowered my gaze sulkily. Saheon hyung took out his wireless earphones, roughly organizing them, and asked cheerfully:
“Why are you so late? The debriefing took really long.”
I didn’t say anything. My lips jutted out in a pout. As I pulled my carrier and walked towards the escalator to take the airport bus, Saheon hyung matched his steps to follow me.
“We have about 30 minutes until our bus, want to buy a coffee and go in?”
“…No, Captain. I’m fine.”
Before I could stop it, the hurt feelings escaped my lips. Saheon hyung’s face turned sour. But the moment I voiced my emotions, the disappointment that had already filled me doubled in size.
“Cheongmyeong?”
“Yes, Captain.”
“Why are you suddenly like this?”
“It’s nothing. Have a safe trip home.”
A sharp attitude that I would never have shown normally kept bursting out. My heart was stinging, but the sulky feeling was even stronger. I bowed slightly and started walking. Saheon hyung, who had been staring at me blankly for a moment, hurriedly followed and whispered:
“Wait, wait. Baby.”
“Why are you calling me baby?”
I looked at hyung with cold eyes. Saheon hyung couldn’t hide his bewildered emotions.
I clenched my fist tightly on the carrier handle, causing veins to pop up. A cold wind blew between us as I turned my body away from hyung and walked away with firm steps.
I felt Saheon hyung’s dumbfounded gaze, surprised by this unexpected situation, on my back. I quickened my pace a bit more.
“…Baby, Cheongmyeong!”
The sound of Saheon hyung’s shoe heels and the rolling of his carrier followed quickly and noisily. An arm wrapped in a black uniform jacket was caught by Saheon hyung’s hand. I turned to look at hyung with cold eyes. Saheon hyung couldn’t hide his bewildered expression.
“Cheongmyeong. Baby. My love. What’s wrong?”
“Captain, why are you doing this to me?”
I shook off the wrist that Saheon hyung had grabbed, applying a little force. But hyung held on stubbornly and wouldn’t let go. I furrowed my brow slightly.
“I’m going home. Let go.”
“Cheongmyeong, you mean our home, right? Right?”
“I’m going to the Yongin house. And why are you speaking informally to me? Call me Lee Cheongmyeong-ssi like before.”
The spiteful words came out smoothly without a chance to stop them. I realized for the first time in my life that I could say such things to hyung. Saheon hyung briefly wet his lower lip with his tongue, seeming anxious.
“Is it because of that purser from earlier?”
“No. Let this go.”
I put more force into shaking off the arm Saheon hyung was holding. This time, it came off easily. After quickly glaring at Saheon hyung, I turned my body and started walking towards the escalator.
“Cheongmyeong. Cheongmyeong. Look at hyung. Okay?”
Saheon hyung whispered desperately while matching his steps to follow me. I tried my best not to look in hyung’s direction and walked silently, staring at the ground.
The airport, caught between dawn and morning, was relatively quiet, perhaps because all the early morning flights had landed and the purser had held us back for debriefing. With my lips jutting out in a pout, I fixed my gaze on the floor and deliberately ignored hyung.
“Honey. Baby. Hmm? Please look at hyung’s face. Hyung is sorry.”
Saheon hyung bent his waist slightly, trying to meet my eyes. I turned my head away even more. Saheon hyung whispered a lengthy explanation.
“Did hyung speak too harshly? I’m sorry. Hyung is sorry.”
“…Isn’t that what you should do as a captain? I’m fine.”
“Ahhh, Cheongmyeong.”
Saheon hyung called my name as if whining. Usually, I would have melted like cotton candy touching water, smiling at hyung’s cute aegyo, but my thoroughly upset heart showed no signs of softening.
I glared at hyung. We had already reached the end of the escalator. I pulled my carrier with a bit more force and turned left, walking towards the airport bus ticket booth.
Saheon hyung, with his legs as long as his height, quickly caught up with my pace. Hyung’s desperate whispering continued all the way to the ticket booth.
“Honey. I’m sorry. I quietly called the purser after you left and said something…”
“Then date the purser.”
“Ah, that’s not what I meant, Cheongmyeong. You know I only love you.”
Even though Saheon hyung was uttering all sorts of sweet words, my thoroughly twisted heart showed no signs of softening. I naturally took out the wallet I had put in my carrier pocket and stood in front of the ticketing machine.
“I’ll do it. I will. Please, let me do it.”
Saheon hyung panicked when he saw my finger selecting a bus to Gyeonggi-do and hurriedly pushed me aside. Pushed aside without resistance, I glared at hyung with sulky eyes.
Hyung’s fingers frantically searched for a bus to Seoul. Watching him try to book two seats on a bus heading to Magok, I rebelled timidly.
“I’m going to Yongin.”
“I love you. Hyung was wrong.”
In fact, saying I was going to the house in Yongin was half a gamble. It was a complex feeling that I didn’t understand myself – really wanting to go, not wanting to go, wanting to go to our home in Magok, not wanting to go – but seeing Saheon hyung block it from the start somehow made my anger boil.
“I said I’m going!”
I ended up shouting. Being dawn, the few gazes around focused on me. I belatedly remembered the company rule that we should restrain ourselves from getting angry while in uniform, which I had learned during training.
Even after getting angry, I felt it was a mistake, but the seething feeling had grown so large that it showed no signs of subsiding. Guilt for getting angry at hyung made my chest sting. I breathed heavily with my lips tightly closed. As I suppressed my anger, heat rushed to my eyes, blurring my vision with tears. Saheon hyung was restless.
“…I won’t go with you, so let go of this.”
“Baby.”
“Lee Cheongmyeong-ssi, who can’t get his act together and do his job properly, is leaving now.”
“Cheongmyeong. I’m sorry. I thought that was the best option in that situation. I don’t want to argue because of that purser. Okay?”
Even in the midst of this, Saheon hyung diligently moved his hands to print the tickets. When he printed seats next to each other, the heat in my eyes intensified.
In the end, I turned my head away sharply to swallow my tears. I could feel my own huffing breath in my ears.
I knew. In my head, I knew that in that situation, it was the most hyung could do as a captain, separating public and private matters. But the enormous feeling of hurt was something I felt in my heart. The sadness burst out.
“…I was so happy to be on the same flight as hyung…”
I swallowed my sobbing breath. When a few drops of tears I couldn’t hold back fell with a ‘plop’, Saheon hyung truly became restless.
I looked at hyung with eyes full of resentment. Then, thinking how ridiculous I must look glaring with tears dangling, I quickly lowered my head and wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.
With heat rushing to my entire face, I sniffled and turned my head. Saheon hyung’s large hand, not knowing what to do, covered my arm.
“Hyung is sorry. Don’t cry, okay? Were you hurt? I’m really sorry.”
Perhaps because the dam of emotions had burst once, my hurt feelings towards Saheon hyung showed no signs of subsiding. Maybe it was because I had absolute faith that hyung would accept all my emotions. The sulky feelings I had suppressed throughout the flight from Bangkok had intensified.
I turned my head away completely, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from flowing continuously. Saheon hyung lightly hugged me and kept whispering as if feeling sorry.
“What should we do with our baby. I should have told that black purser to get her act together instead, right?”
In hyung’s arms, I smelled the familiar scent of his perfume and an exotic wind. I naturally rested my forehead on the cozy and familiar shoulder, neither affirming nor denying. Saheon hyung patted my back.
“I’m sorry. Don’t cry and forgive me, honey.”
While saying comforting words, Saheon hyung skillfully steered me towards the bus to Magok while holding me in his arms. I, distracted by trying not to cry, belatedly realized we were in front of the bus boarding area.
Screech. As the brakes engaged, strength entered my legs. Saheon hyung, who had been looking at me pitifully with his eyebrows lowered, asked as if he didn’t understand anything:
“Hm? What’s wrong?”
Perhaps because it was an odd hour of dawn, we were the only ones boarding the bus. I glared at hyung with eyes still full of moisture.
There were still unresolved feelings towards Saheon hyung. Another conflict of opinions occurred in my head. Should I go to Yongin even now? But realistic barriers held me back.
If I suddenly went down, what excuse should I give to my parents, how would I handle washing the uniform, how should I pack for the next schedule to London? However, one thing was certain: I didn’t want to face Saheon hyung at this moment.
I took a deep breath. Perhaps because I had cried once, my face might have been burning hot, but my head was cold. I chose to first help the driver load the carrier and then climb onto the bus with heavy steps.
Saheon hyung followed, seeming relieved. But if there was something hyung hadn’t considered, it was that my hurt feelings still hadn’t subsided.
I sat in a single seat next to the seats hyung had booked. Saheon hyung, who had followed, stared at me blankly. With a ‘to hell with it’ attitude, I sharply turned my head and took out my wireless earphones with a red panda cover that hyung had gifted me at some point, and plugged them into my ears.
It was a severance of communication.
