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#Side 2. 5 years later (6)
There was a familiar face among the group that looked to be in their teens. No, it was a face both familiar and unfamiliar. Five years seemed to have been a longer time than expected. Even though he had seen photos beforehand, Dawoon couldn’t blink at the sight of Haram, who no longer showed any traces of childhood, unlike when he was 10.
Sensing Dawoon’s gaze, Haram turned his head after finishing his order. Their eyes met as Dawoon had been unable to look away. He couldn’t avoid it, nor could he approach and pretend to recognize him. Although he had come this far, he hadn’t expected to run into Haram since he was living in the dormitory. Hadn’t Hayun also said that the chances of running into him even if they entered the school were extremely low? So why did they end up meeting here?
Haram’s eyes also widened as he looked at Dawoon. It seemed he found it equally hard to believe. Simply maintaining eye contact without turning away was the best Dawoon could do.
Haram excused himself from his friends and approached where Dawoon was sitting. Even until Haram stood a step in front of him, Dawoon’s mind was blank, unsure how to react. Haram, standing in front of him, also didn’t speak right away. He moved his lips but seemed to hesitate on what to say, repeatedly closing his mouth.
“Do you want to sit?”
Dawoon finally asked first. Instead of asking how he had been, Dawoon offered a seat, which made Haram’s face contort. Dawoon was prepared for him to get angry and leave. However, after taking a deep breath and roughly brushing up his bangs, Haram sat down across from Dawoon, despite his frown.
“Why are you here? Weren’t you living in London?”
Haram’s tone wasn’t very pleasant. Dawoon thought it was understandable. After no contact for five years, it was surprising that Haram didn’t avoid him and sat down in front of him.
“Hayun hyung’s business trip…”
As he started to answer, it felt a bit ridiculous. He expected a question about whether he had just come along on his hyung’s business trip. He was also worried about how it might be interpreted that he, no longer a child, had followed Hayun.
When Dawoon trailed off and closed his mouth, Haram stared at him intently. He hadn’t realized how burdensome that gaze could be. It wasn’t just his appearance that had changed from 5 years ago. The look in his eyes no longer contained the childish affection of the past.
“I came to do some photography in the area as well.”
Dawoon barely managed to add, and Haram, who had been quietly staring, furrowed his brow again. An awkward silence fell between them. Neither Dawoon nor Haram knew what to say.
Dawoon slowly looked at Haram. He had really grown a lot, though Dawoon had seen it in photos. His height now seemed similar to Dawoon’s. He might even be taller. Maybe as tall as Hayun. His face had also lost its childish features, looking quite mature. If he were dressed in a suit, he might look even more like Hayun. Anyone would see them as unmistakable brothers.
“I’m glad… it seems you’re doing well.”
His complexion looked good, and he had seemed cheerful when he was with his friends earlier. So Dawoon genuinely thought it was fortunate.
“What about you? Have you been well too, hyung?”
Though his expression was still stiff, Haram asked about Dawoon’s well-being. He still calls me hyung. And even asks how I’ve been. Dawoon’s heart stirred at this simple question. Feeling a lump in his throat, he could only nod.
“Did you come knowing I was here?”
At Haram’s question, Dawoon hesitated briefly before silently nodding.
“Actually, I only found out a few days ago.”
After Dawoon’s honest answer, Haram fell silent again. Dawoon wondered what he was thinking but couldn’t ask. As Dawoon just fiddled with his coffee cup, Haram let out a big sigh after a while.
“Is it okay living in London?”
Instead of resenting him as Dawoon had expected, Haram seemed to be concerned about him. This made Dawoon feel even more sorry.
“Yeah. It’s alright.”
“Are you going to keep living there? Aren’t you coming back to Korea?”
“…”
I’m not sure. Until now, Dawoon had stayed in London to avoid Haram. But now that Haram was in America, he couldn’t use that excuse anymore. However, there was no one to welcome him if he went back to Korea either. It might be better to stay as he was rather than causing unnecessary commotion.
“There’s no one to hurt you now, hyung.”
Dawoon just blinked at this sudden statement, wondering what Haram meant. Haram wasn’t looking at Dawoon. With his gaze lowered to the table, he chewed on his lip before continuing.
“In exchange for me coming here, I made them promise never to lay a hand on you again. Grandfather won’t do anything to you anymore either. So it’s okay for you to go back to Korea now.”
Ah… A groan circled in Dawoon’s throat. He now remembered the incident from 5 years ago when he was almost hit by a car in Korea. Although Hayun had almost gotten hurt protecting him, that car had clearly been aiming for Dawoon. So that was grandfather’s doing.
At the time, Dawoon deliberately didn’t ask about anything. He was too overwhelmed just dealing with Hayun to consider his surroundings. He had vaguely thought that if he just distanced himself from Korea, everyone would be safe.
He knew he was hated, but he didn’t realize it was to the point of wanting him dead. Well, grandfather must have thought his one and only grandson Jeong Hayun had been ruined… Perhaps because quite some time had passed, learning that he was hated to this extent by his grandfather wasn’t shocking. If he had known 5 years ago, it might have broken his heart more. But now he felt detached. There was nothing to feel wronged about since he had become the kind of person with Jeong Hayun that his grandfather had feared.
However, he wondered how Haram knew about this. Haram was only ten at the time, so unless someone deliberately told him, there was no way he could know the whole story. Grandfather wouldn’t have told him directly. Then…
“Did Hayun hyung say something?”
“…”
Haram’s silence was the answer.
“Why would he tell a child such things…”
Dawoon sighed and looked at Haram. How shocked must he have been to learn that grandfather had tried to kill Dawoon? It was clear as day why Hayun had involved Haram. Still, he shouldn’t have done that.
“I’m sorry.”
Unable to explain all the circumstances in detail, Dawoon chose his words carefully and ended up with just an apology. Haram looked up at Dawoon’s apology.
“Why are you apologizing, hyung? It was grandfather who did wrong!”
Haram’s voice was more agitated than Dawoon expected. His loud voice in the cafe made not only people at other tables turn to look, but Haram’s friends as well. Though they wouldn’t understand Korean, it wasn’t good to draw attention. Dawoon quickly raised his index finger to his lips, making a shushing sound. After doing so, he realized it looked like he was soothing a young child. Perhaps because he had quieted him, Haram frowned but didn’t say anything else.
How much did he know? He seemed to know that the relationship between grandfather and Hayun had soured because of Dawoon. What about Dawoon’s relationship with Hayun? Surely he didn’t know about that too? Grandfather had already guessed everything. But given his personality, it didn’t seem likely he would have told Haram… No, there was a possibility he might have told him deliberately to cut Haram’s ties with Dawoon.
Unable to ask directly if he knew, Dawoon could only observe Haram’s reactions.
“Hayun hyung…”
Every time Hayun’s name came from Haram’s mouth, Dawoon’s heart pounded anxiously.
“Does he treat you well?”
Dawoon couldn’t gauge in what sense Haram was asking this. So he couldn’t answer immediately.
“Just…”
Unable to withstand Haram’s steady gaze, Dawoon gave a vague answer.
“I guess so. Hayun hyung was always particularly fond of you.”
Dawoon flinched at the edge in Haram’s words.
“What do you mean by fond…”
“When you disappeared.”
Haram took a deep breath after starting to speak.
“Hayun hyung became really sensitive. To the point where even I had difficulty talking to him. I had never seen Hayun hyung so sharp before.”
“Ah…”
With those words, Dawoon finally understood. It seemed Hayun had been quite prickly even towards Haram when Dawoon ran away.
“Since he took you to London saying he’d protect you… I’m sure he treated you well.”
If Hayun had acted coldly, it must have been upsetting to Haram’s young heart, but his tone didn’t seem to particularly resent him. Haram took a deep breath, his chest heaving, then raised his head to look directly at Dawoon and smiled. However, seeing the slight trembling at the corners of his mouth, it was clear he was forcing the smile.
“I’ve been watching your YouTube videos well.”
Dawoon hadn’t expected him to know about that too.
“My friends like them too.”
Why did Dawoon’s chest keep aching even though Haram was speaking calmly? Dawoon stared at Haram with his mouth closed. He thought Haram had grown a lot. It seemed like he had suddenly become an adult outside of Dawoon’s sight. But why did the image of the 10-year-old child now overlap with his current appearance?
Perhaps it was just Dawoon’s own sense of guilt.
“Now that I know you’re here, come visit sometimes to see my face.”
Haram said calmly with a smile. Even at the invitation to visit, Dawoon couldn’t nod or say he would. As he remained silent, Haram’s eyes wavered and darted around.
I’m making things difficult for him. I’m hurting him again. If I had known it would be like this, I shouldn’t have come. I shouldn’t have been greedy to see him, even by chance or from afar.
“Hyung… didn’t you miss me?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
