#142
Choi Hanseo spoke as if he knew Lee Eunseok was secretly peeking. No, with an S-class Hunter’s senses, he would have certainly noticed Eunseok standing just beyond the door.
It was foolish to keep standing in front of someone who clearly knew. Eunseok took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and opened it.
Their eyes met. Choi Hanseo’s unique scent brushed Eunseok’s nose.
“I thought you had one day left on your vacation,” Eunseok said in a calm voice.
“It’s just past midnight, so the vacation ends today,” Choi Hanseo replied equally calmly as he pushed his way into the motel room. As he passed Eunseok, their shoulders brushed slightly. Eunseok tightly gripped the handle of the dagger in his hand. The light-heartedness he had felt just moments ago seemed to crumble at that small touch.
The unlit motel room at midnight was enveloped in darkness. The neon sign of a cheap cabaret across the street seeped through the window, casting a mottled light.
“Why did you come? I would have returned on my own,” Eunseok asked, standing by the door as if ready to flee.
“Indeed. Why did I chase you all the way here?” Choi Hanseo muttered, his back turned as he looked out the window.
A moment of silence passed. The musty air of the cheap motel felt particularly heavy and stifling. Eunseok suddenly felt the urge to fling open the door and run away. It felt as if all the time he had spent rolling around in the mountains was being oxidized and disappearing with Choi Hanseo’s mere presence.
Just as Eunseok was seriously considering leaving the room, Choi Hanseo slowly turned around. Despite his neat appearance, his hair was slightly disheveled. It looked as if he had roughly run his hands through his well-groomed hair several times.
“Are you thinking of leaving?” Choi Hanseo asked, fixing Eunseok with an unreadable gaze.
“I have no intention of breaking the contract,” Eunseok deliberately evaded the question.
“Don’t play word games. I’m asking if you’re thinking of leaving me.”
Choi Hanseo didn’t let Eunseok avoid the question, asking again bluntly and directly. Surrounded by darkness and cheap lighting, he looked like a predator about to pounce on its prey. And Eunseok felt like cornered prey.
“It’s ridiculous to say this now that you’ve lost your memory, Choi Hanseo, but if you’re asking if I’m thinking of breaking up with you, then yes. I am thinking of breaking up.”
Despite his calm voice, Eunseok’s throat felt constricted.
“What if I regain my memories?”
“It won’t change anything.”
Eunseok calmly and honestly voiced his decision.
Choi Hanseo’s eyes, deep in the darkness, seemed to grow even deeper. The back of Eunseok’s head tingled. His instincts were warning him of danger.
“You’ll break up even if I regain my memories?”
“That’s right.”
“Why?”
Choi Hanseo asked briefly. Eunseok had a feeling he needed to answer this question very well. But he also knew that no answer would satisfy Choi Hanseo. If no answer could satisfy the other person, there was no need to elaborate on the reasons.
“Because I no longer feel enough attraction to continue a personal relationship.”
Eunseok’s answer was the exact truth. He hadn’t become strong enough not to worry about losing things. Choi Hanseo had proven that fact with this memory loss.
Eunseok could accept any flaw. But there was one thing he couldn’t compromise on: feeling lonely and lost again. Even if it meant living his entire life alone, Eunseok didn’t want to live with that risk.
“Haa…” Choi Hanseo roughly ran his hand through his slightly disheveled hair. The backlight made it difficult to see his expression clearly. His face, shrouded in darkness, exuded a dangerous aura. Eunseok felt an instinctive sense of crisis and caution.
“Eunseok. I…”
Choi Hanseo’s voice trailed off.
Eunseok.
That call didn’t have the distant feeling Eunseok had felt since Choi Hanseo lost his memories. Suddenly, through Choi Hanseo’s disheveled hair, Eunseok noticed a neatly shaped ear. There was a piercing he hadn’t seen in a while. Eunseok instinctively thought of the possibility that Choi Hanseo had regained his memories.
“Looks like your memories have returned.”
Eunseok asked without filtering. After a moment’s hesitation, Choi Hanseo nodded slightly.
“I see.”
Eunseok muttered, somewhat dejectedly.
“The thought of losing you drove me crazy. I put on the piercing and desperately tried to revive my memories, grasping at straws. At some point, my empty memories started filling up ridiculously easily. It was absurd how the memories came flooding back… but just regaining my memories didn’t seem enough to make you come back.”
“…”
“I’ve been staring at your location all day. Day and night, I’ve been fixated on that red dot, wondering if you were hurt when it stopped moving, or if you had removed and discarded the chip, imagining all sorts of scenarios.”
Choi Hanseo roughly ran his hand through his hair again and let out a heavy sigh. It was a sigh that seemed to express frustration with himself.
“I couldn’t bring myself to come find you right away. I felt I needed to understand why you left my side and came all the way here before I could convince you to come back.”
“…”
“I’m sorry for worrying you. For not remembering, and also…”
Choi Hanseo trailed off, then continued with some difficulty.
“For making you do guiding you didn’t want.”
Unwanted guiding. He probably meant insertion guiding.
“I didn’t refuse either.”
Eunseok tried to speak casually, but his words came out somewhat stiff. Just sex for guiding… no, insertion guiding. It was a memory he didn’t want to recall. Even if the other person was Choi Hanseo. No, especially because it was Choi Hanseo.
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Like what?”
“Don’t speak as if it didn’t matter at all.”
There was an edge to Choi Hanseo’s voice.
The two who had been sweet lovers just moments ago had instantly become more distant than strangers, their relationship stiff and awkward. This was true even though Choi Hanseo had regained his memories. Eunseok found it unbearably uncomfortable and wanted to escape. He had never wanted to run away from anything before, but now he did.
Eunseok suddenly let out a heavy sigh. The whole situation was extremely tiring.
“Let’s… go back to Seoul.”
Eunseok said, turning towards the door. It was ridiculous to go up to Seoul separately anyway, since Choi Hanseo had come all the way down here. Above all, he wanted to escape this moment of being alone with him in a small space.
“Eunseok.”
Choi Hanseo called from behind. Eunseok pretended not to hear and grabbed the doorknob.
“Eunseok-ah.”
Choi Hanseo called again. Eunseok bit his lip hard, his hand still on the doorknob. He sensed Choi Hanseo approaching from behind. Eunseok felt an intense sense of crisis. The resolve he had built up over the past ten days roaming the mountains felt like it was crumbling like a sand castle.
Eunseok hurriedly turned the doorknob. But a hand grabbing his arm made him spin around.
“What are you doing?”
Eunseok glared at Choi Hanseo. Or at least, he tried to.
“I can’t let you go like this.”
“I’m not running away. I said I’m going back to the guild.”
“Whether it’s the guild or anywhere else, you can’t go now. If you leave this room now, I feel like it will really be the end, so I can’t let you go.”
“If you won’t let me go, what are you going to do? If you need time to persuade me, let’s go back to Seoul first and talk again. I’ll listen.”
Of course, he had no intention of arguing about breaking up or not. It was a lie to escape this room for now.
“Liar.”
Choi Hanseo saw right through Eunseok’s intentions. His grip on Eunseok’s arms tightened. It was a rough grip, as if he absolutely couldn’t let go.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
