#94
He couldn’t remember the content of the dream. However, the feeling of continuously sinking into a deep swamp where his toes couldn’t reach the bottom continued endlessly.
His breathing became rapid. The stiff pain that arose from inside his chest was initially mild but gradually intensified.
Eunsol barely opened his eyes. But he still couldn’t move a finger. He wanted to rub his aching stomach, but his body was beyond his control.
“Ugh…”
Unable to even turn his head, he couldn’t tell how much time had passed since he had fallen asleep. Blinking his eyelids was the only action Eunsol could perform.
Chills ran through his body, which was soaked in cold sweat. Despite being covered by a warm blanket up to his neck, his body trembled.
“Ah… Huu…”
He wanted to call for Hyun-oh. But his troublesome throat, oblivious to Eunsol’s desires, only occasionally released groans like those of a dying animal. To make matters worse, the button Hyun-oh had given him to press in case of emergency was on the bedside table.
He felt miserable. Tears welled up in his eyes, flowing ceaselessly from his brow to the sheet below. One side of his face in contact with the sheet became wet with tears.
“Hyun…”
Eunsol struggled to move his neck. How nice it would be if he could move his body to find him.
He felt unbearably lonely. Everything that had happened before he fell asleep seemed like a fantasy he had created in his imagination.
His emotions, beyond rational control, pushed Eunsol endlessly toward the edge of a cliff.
It felt like if he took just one more step back, he would fall into a bottomless abyss. Rationally, he knew such a thing wouldn’t happen, but his rapidly beating heart only accelerated.
“Hyun… oh…”
Perhaps his desperate feelings moved his vocal cords, because unlike before, words began to leak out little by little.
But the words Eunsol painfully uttered were so small that they barely carried beyond the bed, merely circling around him.
“Huck…”
The pain in his upper body momentarily caused his vision to flash white. Eunsol reflexively gritted his teeth to reduce the pain but ended up biting his tongue.
Eunsol panted weakly as a fishy scent instantly spread throughout his mouth.
“Hyun-oh… ssi…”
The sound pooling around his face became clearer than moments before. Eunsol somehow tried to summon strength to his limbs, squeezing his muscles.
As a result, even the muscles in his calves twisted. It was then, as Eunsol sobbed and repeatedly called Hyun-oh’s name.
“Lee Eunsol!”
A thin ray of light seeped into the space where only dim indirect lighting had been on. When the person he had been waiting for finally entered, Eunsol released a sorrowful cry.
“Huu, uh…”
Hyun-oh hurriedly took Eunsol into his arms. Even then, Eunsol couldn’t properly control his body.
Seeing his calves stiffly set with toes curling involuntarily, Hyun-oh’s brow furrowed mercilessly.
Not much time had passed since he had left after watching the sleeping Eunsol. Yet in that brief period while he was away, Eunsol’s body had become a mess.
“It’s okay now. Lee Eunsol, I’m here.”
The time spent suffering alone crumbled like a sand castle when faced with Hyun-oh. The black pupils, unable to focus properly, couldn’t even capture Hyun-oh’s face clearly.
Hyun-oh spoke to Eunsol while trying to steady his trembling voice. At the touch of gentle hands caressing him, Eunsol slowly raised his eyes.
“Hyun-oh-ssi…”
“Yes. I’m here.”
Hyun-oh’s tone became much more affectionate. Even he had been surprised by the tender words that had escaped him at Eunsol’s bedside while he slept. But after Eunsol had woken up, he had reverted to his original manner. Since the day he had almost lost Eunsol, Hyun-oh had countless times inwardly resolved to be gentler with him.
And now Eunsol had called his name. Hyun-oh had once thought that if Eunsol ever spoke again, it would be the moment he completely opened his heart to him.
The fact that he was the person Eunsol searched for, even while struggling in pain, caused a surge of joy to boil up in one corner of his heart.
It was an unworthy feeling—to experience joy, sympathy, and anger toward himself simultaneously in such a situation.
“I was scared…”
Unlike Hyun-oh’s complicated state of mind, Eunsol was gradually finding stability in the broad embrace. He felt his stiffened muscles loosening along with the touch that caressed his body.
“Ugh…”
Then he felt an unbearable pain from his calves, where the muscle spasm hadn’t yet subsided.
“Bear with it just a little.”
Hyun-oh extended his hand downward and firmly pressed the slender calf. When the painful area was stimulated, even though he was just lying still, Eunsol tightly closed his eyes and moaned.
Beads of cold sweat formed on his round forehead. Hyun-oh raised his other hand to brush away the hair hanging over his forehead.
Bending down as if giving artificial respiration, he covered Eunsol’s lips with his own. Eunsol had been biting his lips until they turned white, but at the sensation of the pressure on that area, he slightly opened his mouth.
Their saliva freely mingled. It was a kiss that comforted rather than being passionate.
“Are you feeling a bit better now?”
Fortunately, while Eunsol was focusing on the kiss with Hyun-oh, the cramped calf muscle relaxed. The sleep paralysis that had prevented him from moving even a fingertip also disappeared.
In response to Hyun-oh’s question as he affectionately met Eunsol’s gaze, the small head moved up and down.
“…Will you call my name once more?”
Eunsol had clearly called Hyun-oh’s name. But Hyun-oh wanted to confirm it once more. And he also wanted Eunsol to realize that he could now speak freely.
“…Hyun-oh-ssi.”
Perhaps due to not speaking for a long time, Eunsol’s voice was hoarse. The sound was so close to the sounds he had made when Hyun-oh had pushed him to his limits that a smile spread across Hyun-oh’s lips.
“I…”
As Hyun-oh cradled Eunsol’s cheek with one hand and caressed his reddened eyes, Eunsol placed his hand over Hyun-oh’s, as if he had something to say.
When their hands came together, the difference in size was obvious. Instead of moving his hand, Hyun-oh lightly stole a kiss from Eunsol’s mumbling lips.
“Tell me. Anything.”
He felt like he could listen to Eunsol’s voice all day. When Hyun-oh encouraged him, Eunsol carefully met his gaze.
“If you could… call my name too…”
His request was the same as what Hyun-oh had asked. Hyun-oh’s pupils dilated.
This must be the feeling one gets when looking at someone molded from lovableness.
“Lee Eunsol-ssi.”
Ignoring his rapidly beating heart, as if he had just finished a sprint, Hyun-oh called Eunsol’s name.
But Eunsol’s expression was strange. Just like a child who had a candy they were enjoying taken away, a hint of injustice seeped into his gentle eyes.
“Name…”
Though he had found his voice, Eunsol still struggled to speak a complete sentence.
Just now, Hyun-oh had definitely called Eunsol’s name without his surname. It had sounded really nice. When Hyun-oh called his full name, he felt as if the distance between them had widened back to how it was initially.
The moment the black pupils wavered, Hyun-oh urgently pressed his forehead against Eunsol’s.
“Eunsol-ah.”
Why had he been so difficult about calling his name until now?
At the changed form of address, Eunsol’s eyelashes blinked up and down, filled with satisfaction.
Finding it quite cute, Hyun-oh continued the interrupted kiss with a smile on his lips.
***
“How are you feeling today?”
Since that night when Eunsol woke from a nightmare and sought out Hyun-oh, Hyun-oh’s voice had become much softer compared to before.
While his voice was inherently low and deep, giving a sense of pressure, there was a noticeable difference when comparing how Hyun-oh addressed others versus how he called Eunsol.
Liking this fact, Eunsol wiggled his toes inside his slippers.
“…Really good.”
Normally, he would have answered with just “good.” It seemed his mood was truly excellent.
Hyun-oh gently stroked the crown of Eunsol’s head. Currently, Eunsol was sitting on the study sofa with Hyun-oh’s cardigan draped over his shoulders.
Not wanting to leave the side of Hyun-oh, who had work to do, Eunsol had made a nest in the study for the past few days.
The sofa was piled with blanket-like throws and plush cushions. The table in front of the sofa was filled with various snacks.
“Eat some of this while I handle the paperwork.”
“Yes, Hyun-oh-ssi.”
As Eunsol received the snack basket Hyun-oh handed over, he nodded his head obediently. But the basket stopped midair as it was being pulled.
“…Have you considered using a more casual form of address?”
A small desire had formed in Hyun-oh’s heart. Wishing Eunsol would treat him more comfortably, his hand holding the basket tightened.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
