#30
Eunsol’s eyes vacantly rested on the scenery passing outside the car window. Too many things had happened today. It was already mentally draining to focus solely on his relationship with Hyun-oh, but now he had encountered an unwelcome person from his past as well as a new character.
Remembering the sinister gaze that had looked him up and down and the acrid pheromones, his body trembled as if struck by a chill.
“Are you cold? The weather’s too warm to turn on the heater.”
The taxi driver, who had been watching Eunsol through the rearview mirror, expressed concern. Although he was speaking with good intentions, Eunsol stiffened and answered in a timid voice.
“…I’m fine.”
It was just a casual conversation. Yet, Eunsol’s body tensed up simply because the taxi driver was a man he had met for the first time today. Then he realized that there was a subtle alpha pheromone permeating the taxi.
He must not have noticed it when he first got into the taxi due to his agitated state. It was rare for alphas to work as taxi drivers. There was an option to request a beta driver when calling a taxi, but Eunsol had been so preoccupied with the thought of getting home as quickly as possible that he hadn’t considered that aspect.
Under normal circumstances, it would have been a level of pheromone that he could easily ignore. But it seemed the incident with Hyun-oh’s half-brother had left a greater shock than expected.
A suffocating feeling rose as if someone had reached into his chest and squeezed tightly. This feeling also reflected Eunsol’s subconscious awareness that he absolutely must not react to alpha pheromones.
“Could I roll down the window…?”
“Weren’t you cold?”
“…I feel stuffy.”
Eventually, Eunsol asked the taxi driver’s permission and rolled down the window. Only after the outside air flowed into the car through the lowered window did the tightness in his chest ease somewhat.
However, Eunsol’s hands remained clenched so tightly that they left marks on his palms. He was exerting all his strength to suppress his own pheromones from leaking out.
“We’ve arrived.”
“Thank you.”
From the moment the taxi entered the familiar alley, Eunsol had his hand on the door handle. As soon as the taxi stopped, he opened the door. His body trembled uncontrollably as he thanked the driver and exited the taxi.
“Haah…”
Only after entering the house did Eunsol release the breath he had been holding. Without even taking off his shoes, he slumped against the front door. The cold sensation of the door and floor against his back made him realize he was truly alone.
The sensor light in the entryway turned on and off repeatedly several times before Eunsol finally got up.
His staggering steps halted at Hyun-oh’s dressing room. The subtle pine scent permeating the space seemed to dilute the lingering acrid scent.
“…He said he’d be coming home late today.”
Despite the house being empty, Eunsol instinctively looked back at the entrance of the dressing room. After confirming once more that there was no sign of movement, Eunsol took out a cardigan from the laundry box.
It was home wear that Hyun-oh occasionally wore around the house. Eunsol wanted to completely erase Han Hyun-yong’s pheromones that had remained so vividly in his mind. Perhaps the best way would be to meet Hyun-oh and bury his face in Hyun-oh’s embrace.
But Hyun-oh was planning to come home late today, and even if he came home early, he wouldn’t embrace Eunsol.
Carefully, Eunsol slipped his arms into the cardigan. Strangely, tears welled up in his eyes at the subtle sensation of Hyun-oh’s pheromones.
As he raised his hand to wipe away the tears, he felt a soft texture instead of the back of his hand. Opening his eyes, he saw that a portion of the cuff had been stained a darker color. Due to the significant size difference between him and Hyun-oh, the cardigan’s sleeves covered more than half of his hands.
Eunsol fidgeted as he rolled up the cuffs of both sleeves. Only after repeating this three or four times did his pale hands fully emerge.
Leaving the dressing room, Eunsol headed to the room that had been assigned to him. The house wasn’t unfamiliar. Hyun-oh spent little time at home, and as long as Eunsol wasn’t entering Hyun-oh’s private space, he was allowed to move freely around the house.
However, he felt most at ease in the space designated as his own room within the house.
“…How am I going to face him when I keep seeing him?”
After closing the door, Eunsol went to the sofa in one corner of the room and sat with his legs pulled up. He hitched up the cardigan that kept slipping down his shoulders and buried his face in his knees.
He knew through rumors that Hyun-oh and his half-brother didn’t get along.
‘If you ever run into him, don’t associate with him. He’s like a dog in heat.’
Once, Kang Ye-ryeong had harshly criticized Han Hyun-yong while warning Eunsol. At the time, he hadn’t remembered Ye-ryeong’s warning. The best he could do was to beg for the pheromone emission to stop, then muster the strength to push him away and escape.
“Why am I so… stupid? Pathetic, foolish, and cowardly.”
The sensation he felt when Hyun-oh’s pheromones enveloped him, dispelling the acrid scent, gradually faded, but self-loathing quickly filled its place.
If he hadn’t hesitated and had moved a little faster, he wouldn’t have encountered Han Hyun-yong.
He worried that Hyun-oh might be affected because of his inadequate response. Goosebumps rose on his neck as he recalled the gaze that hadn’t left his face even when he pushed him away.
Eunsol rubbed his neck until it turned red, as if feeling an itch.
“Should I tell him…”
Only after his fair skin had flushed red did Eunsol stop. Then, with his next thought, he started to bite his lower lip repeatedly.
“Mother said Hyun-oh really hates his half-brother…”
Being by Hyun-oh’s side, one would realize that people he held goodwill toward were extremely rare. Even the cold behavior Hyun-oh occasionally showed to Eunsol seemed warm compared to how he always remained businesslike with others.
Eunsol realized that he had never seen Hyun-oh smile at anyone, but conversely, he had also never seen him in a state of fury.
Hyun-oh treated even his mother, Kang Ye-ryeong, in a businesslike manner. His most expressive moments were when he slightly furrowed his brow.
“…What if he starts hating me too?”
He currently had little interest in Eunsol. He only fulfilled his obligatory duties as a spouse, to the extent that he had never once inquired about Eunsol’s daily routine or his past life.
He would have already gathered all the information about Eunsol before presenting the contract, but if he had any interest in Eunsol as a person, he might have asked directly.
In contrast, Eunsol had so many questions he wanted to ask Hyun-oh, making him increasingly aware of the difference in their feelings toward each other with each passing day.
Though indifferent, Hyun-oh maintained proper etiquette with Eunsol as much as possible. Even today, he had taken Eunsol to a fancy restaurant for a meal.
Eunsol was well aware that he should be grateful for their current relationship. But if Hyun-oh were to hear that Eunsol had met Han Hyun-yong and failed to handle the situation properly… he was afraid Hyun-oh’s gaze might become even more indifferent than it was now.
As time spent with Hyun-oh accumulated, Eunsol increasingly felt that someone who was confident and capable would suit Hyun-oh better, not someone timid like himself who couldn’t even express himself properly.
Although he didn’t know the detailed circumstances, Hyun-oh was currently in sharp conflict with Han Hyun-yong over the group. This was because Chairman Han Chihun had suddenly died without properly completing the succession process.
In the midst of this, if Hyun-oh were to find out that his spouse, Eunsol, had been foolishly passive in the face of Han Hyun-yong’s rude behavior, wouldn’t he be frustrated?
“I really… don’t want Hyun-oh to hate me.”
Before marrying Hyun-oh, Eunsol had done his best not to be hated by his family. However, no matter how hard he tried, Eunsol could not receive a single grain of genuine affection from his family.
It took a very long time to realize this fact, during which he had to endure being hurt, crying, and suffering heartache. What Eunsol had learned through repeated injuries was resignation.
But now Eunsol had a new family. Moreover, Hyun-oh didn’t abuse him like they did. He had given him a warm home and more than enough gifts, and had even placed a card with no limit in his hands, telling him to use it freely.
He was someone who took care of Eunsol more than his own relatives. Regardless of how it had started, Eunsol didn’t want to lose Hyun-oh. His constant worry about how he could be of help to Hyun-oh stemmed from his fear of being abandoned by him.
“Still… I should tell him.”
Eunsol wasn’t good at lying. It was partly his inherent nature, and partly because of accumulated experiences of being severely scolded for even small lies when he was young.
Having made his difficult decision, Eunsol rose from the sofa. He returned to Hyun-oh’s dressing room and carefully took off the cardigan he was wearing. He unrolled the cuffs he had previously folded and placed it in the laundry basket, leaving no trace.
For a moment, he crouched in front of the laundry basket, stroking the cardigan with his fingertips.
“I want to smell his pheromones more.”
Beyond the scent embedded in the clothes, he wanted to directly smell the pheromones Hyun-oh emitted. He had liked Hyun-oh’s pheromones from the first moment he smelled them. Even though, recalling the situation, fear should have been more dominant, he felt the urge to smell more, despite the embarrassment of his body’s reaction.
After smelling another alpha’s pheromones, his yearning for Hyun-oh’s pheromones had intensified.
“…Should I wear it a little longer?”
Just as Eunsol was gazing at the cardigan he had just taken off with visibly lingering attachment—
“What are you doing here?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
