#8. One-Sided Love Red Flag (2)
“This is a disaster.”
After a 30-minute battle with the boiler, Hapil Jae declared defeat.
“Power is coming through but there’s no response. All the other rooms work fine.”
I nodded with a helpless expression. I wanted to show competence, but unfortunately I also had no knack for this kind of thing. I thought maybe not being in the habit of doing household chores was showing at times like this.
Hapil Jae messed up his hair wildly and screamed “Aaah!” Static electricity rose from his brightly bleached hair, making it stick out like dandelion seeds.
“What should we do? The room is freezing cold, hyung. If I sleep here, my mouth might go crooked.”
Jihan quietly agreed.
“Right. Somehow it seems colder in here than outside. Where do we need to contact to fix something like this?”
Maybe because Jihan also grew up as a rich businessman’s son, he also seemed awkward about this kind of thing.
“We can ask Sol hyung. That’s much faster than doing something pointless.”
Just then, someone suddenly appeared from behind Jihan who was standing by the door.
“What’s faster?”
“Wow. Haesol hyung, are you a tiger?”
“You were talking about me. Hello, Seowoo.”
Ahn Haesol had heavy bags in both hands, apparently returning from grocery shopping.
“I was going to unpack and contact you anyway. The room isn’t warm.”
“That’s exactly what I was saying. We turned on the boiler but the room isn’t getting warm. So I was going to ask hyung what we should do about this.”
At Hapil Jae’s words, Ahn Haesol answered with an awkward smile.
“It’s broken.”
“What?”
“…What?”
“I heard you were moving into the dorm soon so I checked this morning, and the heating wasn’t working. So I looked into it and they said it’s a pipe problem, only this room is like this, needs construction work.”
Hapil Jae’s mouth fell open.
“Whoa. We need construction work? This is suddenly getting bigger.”
“Yeah. We have to tear up the flooring. While we’re taking out the furniture anyway, you can change the interior to Seowoo’s taste if you want. It’s not like you’ll only use it for a day or two… Anyway, just know it’ll take several days to fix.”
It was a bigger problem than just a machine malfunction. It seemed like using this room for those several days Haesol mentioned would be difficult.
“No, how did we not know about such an important problem until now?”
“Well…”
Jihan said to Hapil Jae in an indifferent tone.
“The person who used the room before probably didn’t turn on the heating. He was always sleeping out.”
“Ah.”
If it was the previous room owner, that would be Maki. It seemed like he had been in and out of the dorm even before withdrawing.
“We can’t put a kid who hates the cold in a freezing room.”
Jihan said matter-of-factly.
“Sleep in my room with me for a few days. I’ll let you sleep on the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor…”
“N-no.”
The words came out reflexively. Haesol and Hapil Jae looked at me as if surprised, and Jihan, who was flatly rejected, looked at me with a sullen expression.
“Yoon Seowoo.”
“Your back will hurt if you don’t sleep on the bed. And it’s not like you use that room alone.”
Haesol smiled softly and said.
“If you mean roommate, that’s me, and I’m fine with it. I can’t say I’m completely easygoing, but sharing a room for a few days is fine.”
“Still…”
No matter what, barging into a room where two people live was a bit much. Sleeping in the living room would also be strange.
“I’ll just delay moving in for a few days.”
I declared.
“I can just commute from home until the construction is finished, so I think that would be better. I left my house as is because I didn’t plan to organize it.”
“If you have a family home, that would work. But it’s disappointing.”
Haesol glanced at Jihan and smiled.
“Jihan seems disappointed. This is the first time I’ve seen him make this expression.”
“What’s disappointing…”
“Don’t you look disappointed right now?”
Jihan responded sulkily.
“Why is Yoon Seowoo being so formal with me? Before, you used to cry loudly saying it was strange and you couldn’t sleep without me, so our parents came to pick you up in the middle of the night… mmph.”
My face turned bright red as I quickly covered Jihan’s mouth.
“When did I ever do that!”
“You did. You were crying like that.”
“Th-that time. That time was…”
“Did that really happen? If this face as a little kid came crying like that, but then suddenly became all mature saying he’s grown up… wow, I’d be hurt too.”
“Right, Seowoo. You’re lifelong friends. Being close is natural, and there’s no one here who would say anything about showing it, so don’t worry. Okay?”
When I hesitated, Hapil Jae seriously asked if that really happened. He seemed quite curious about the truth.
To tell the truth, it really had happened. It was not long after I had lost my mother, who had been like my only family, and young me didn’t know how to deal with that unfamiliar and enormous sense of loss.
The darkness that came to the silent house, and the loneliness that washed over me like a tide, were so sad and frightening.
‘Jihan. The house is too quiet… *sob* The house is too quiet and it’s so strange. I can’t sleep. What should I do?’
I had complained like that and then burst into tears, so not only Jihan but even his parents were alarmed and came to pick me up past midnight.
But that was just a childhood anecdote. The Yoon Seowoo back then was only 10 years old, and now I’m 21, more than ten years older.
“It’s not like I’m not moving in at all, it’s just a few days, so don’t be too disappointed, Haesol hyung. I feel bad about making you use a cramped room because of me.”
“Okay. Let’s do that.”
“Ji… Jihan, you’re okay with it too, right?”
“…”
Jihan still had a sullen face but eventually accepted my proposal as if he couldn’t win against it. It wasn’t that he wasn’t disappointed, but because of his personality of wanting to listen to whatever I said.
“I have the basic necessities at home anyway, so I’ll leave the suitcase here.”
“Got it. For the construction schedule, since we’ll see each other every day anyway, I’ll let you know at the practice room tomorrow or leave a message. Is that okay?”
“Yes, hyung.”
“For contact info, just save the number I gave you… Today will be hectic with moving to the dorm, so I already asked for some leeway. There’s no training schedule, so you can go home early.”
“Thank you.”
I ended up going home immediately, different from the plan. The sudden problem was quite troublesome, but thinking about it, it didn’t seem like such a bad thing.
‘I should move the bed to a place with good sunlight. The bookshelf seems too small too, so something that can store more would be good… I should also check if there are any missing items.’
I was already worried that I had left too carelessly when I was going to be away from home for a long time. Even if I hire people to do things, I felt like I should do the basic things myself.
Jihan, who was following me down the stairs, said.
“I’ll call you a taxi. Take it.”
“It’s not that far, why take a taxi? The bus is quick. If I pull down my hood and wear a mask… ow. Why are you hitting me!”
He flicked my forehead and answered in a strict tone.
“Even if you haven’t debuted, an idol is still an idol. If you don’t like taxis, should I call Hyeonjun hyung to drive you? Want to go home in a van?”
“If I haven’t debuted, I’m still just a trainee. You’re really making a big deal.”
I answered while gently rubbing my forehead. Actually, it didn’t hurt at all compared to the gesture. It was just a warm, firm knuckle lightly pushing.
“I’m not making a big deal, you lack awareness. You’ve been like this since you were young… no, never mind. That’s something I’ll take care of myself. Anyway, listen to your hyung.”
“What hyung. You weren’t even born 100 hours earlier.”
But the reason that word left a ticklish feeling as it seeped into my chest was probably because of the fantasy I had about having a brother. I had always regretted being an only child since I was young, and unlike me who was always alone, I envied Jihan who had an older sister.
I ended up taking the taxi Jihan called. He carefully checked even the taxi’s license plate before opening the door and watching me get in.
I was happy that someone I liked was taking such good care of me, but I was also embarrassed thinking who would be so overprotective of a grown man.
“Hey, it’s not like someone’s going to kidnap me, so tone it down.”
“You have exactly the face that makes people want to kidnap you, so saying that has no persuasive power.”
“Geez, really. Jihan!”
“Call me if anything happens.”
“…”
“Not answering, you stubborn kid.”
“I will. I’ll do it. I’ll text you when I get home.”
Only then did Jihan smile brightly.
“You get carsick, so don’t look at your phone in the car and rest. Driver, please take good care of him.”
A sunny smile. The face I love. I felt regretful that his figure was getting farther away as the car moved.
Still, it was better to be disappointed for a few days than to let Jihan hear my heartbeat racing at about 150 bpm.
“Ah, I don’t know.”
Being stuck with your unrequited love with an infinitely thin sense of distance is really, truly, deadly.
It’s so good it wouldn’t be a waste to die for, and also scary enough to die from, and anxious, and heart-fluttering, and precarious…
So if you asked whether I’d want to be with Jihan or not.
‘I’d like it.’
Of course I’d want to be together.
“…Me too.”
Thinking that, I looked at the scenery beyond the car window for a long time.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
