- Words to Regret (2)
“I mean the invitation hyung gave me last time.”
“Last time… Ah.”
He seemed to be talking about the Busan Festival invitation that I’d gotten from Bae Dojin. I vividly remembered how Hapil Jae had jumped up and down with excitement, saying how great it would be to attend an event he’d wanted to go to anyway, plus seeing Days perform live again.
“Actually, I met sunbaenim at the company building a few days ago, and he asked if I was coming? When I said yes, he asked who I was going with and if anyone from our group was joining me.”
Ahn Haesol nodded and chimed in.
“Since he gave the tickets through you, Seowoo, he probably wants you to come along.”
I knew that. Bae Dojin had directly said it would be better if I came too.
At the time, I’d answered that I’d try to match my schedule, but honestly, I hadn’t thought about it that positively. I’d basically given him an indirect refusal.
“Since it came up, let’s go together, okay?”
When Hapil Jae said this, I felt my resolve wavering.
“I’ve never been to something like that…”
“So what? It’s not like they’re hiring experienced staff. It sounds fancy but it’s really nothing special. You just go there and have fun without thinking too much. It’s fun, I promise. They sell lots of delicious food too.”
“…”
“Ah, I’ll help you, Seowoo hyung.”
“Hmm.”
“Hyung, hyuuung, hyuuuuung. Let’s just go for the day. We can ask Hyeonjun hyung to pick us up. Okay? I was thinking of taking the train alone, but…”
“Debuted idols wandering around alone? Absolutely not. I’ll take you there, so don’t worry about transportation.”
“See? Transportation issue solved, right?”
He was being extremely persistent, seemingly convinced I’d give in with just a little more persuasion. He kept nagging even after we got off the van and entered our dorm.
“If a day trip is too tiring, should we stay overnight? The Days sunbaenim said they could give us a room? They booked a hotel for this trip. I’ve been there before and it’s nice. You can even see the ocean!”
Na Jihan, who had been quiet because he felt guilty about something, quietly interjected.
“Isn’t staying overnight a bit much?”
“What are you talking about.”
Hapil Jae snorted and pulled me closer.
“He just wants to have some fun for a day or two before album preparations start. Look at this, he’s already trying not to let you go. Right, Seowoo hyung?”
Jihan made an indignant face.
“No, it’s just that he’s going to a crowded place for the first time. What if he gets pushed around and gets hurt…”
“Ugh. That’s such a boomer thing to say. Listen, Na Jihan? I’m going too, you know? And technically, our manager hyung is coming down with us too?”
I dismantled my bouquet while listening to the two of them bickering loudly.
The Dorothy Nabaro flowers Bae Dojin had given me had finally succumbed to time and wilted. Normally I would have thrown them away, but since they were related to our album track, I planned to make pressed flower bookmarks with a few of them.
‘I do read books often…’
This would make a nice memento. Since I wanted to make them pretty, I’d even bought an original copy of “The Wizard of Oz” to use as background.
As I was carefully placing selected flowers between the pages of the book, a hand suddenly reached out and tapped the back of my hand.
I didn’t need to look up to know it was Jihan’s hand.
“Are you really going?”
“…”
“Without me?”
Hapil Jae stomped his feet behind me.
“Don’t use your handsome tactics! He was almost convinced! This is a good chance for both of you to practice some distance!”
“Yoon Seowoo.”
Jihan, who had been scrutinizing the flowers between the book pages with disapproving eyes, stared at me. His gaze looked almost desperate, which made me want to smile a little, even though this wasn’t the situation for it.
“I’m not treating you like a child, this isn’t that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Just…”
Jihan hesitated before lowering his eyes slightly and answering.
“I want to be with you.”
Why did those words stir up my insides again? Jihan truly had a knack for making people’s emotions go up and down.
“What could be more natural than us being together… mmph.”
“Stop!”
Hapil Jae shouted and covered Jihan’s mouth.
“Play fair! Are you seriously using your handsome face AND flirting to prevent him from going on a one-day trip? Do you know how childish you’re being right now?”
“So what if it’s childish. It’s still better than Yoon Seowoo staying overnight elsewhere.”
“Okay, let’s do this.”
Ahn Haesol naturally stepped in to mediate.
“Let’s give Seowoo some time to think. The festival is next week, so Seowoo can decide by tomorrow evening. How’s that?”
I nodded.
“I’ll do that.”
“You can go with Pilrae, or just stay at the dorm. If you want to get some fresh air somewhere else, you could coordinate schedules with me and Iseon.”
Jihan asked in a sullen voice.
“Am I excluded this time too?”
Haesol smiled gently and replied.
“I told you. It seems like these problems occur because you two don’t have enough personal space. That means we should give Seowoo some individual time, right?”
“We have separate rooms.”
“But you only leave him alone when he’s sleeping.”
Joo Lee Seon said seriously.
“And sometimes you even invade then. I’ve seen it more than once or twice.”
With many things to feel guilty about, Jihan clamped his mouth shut like a clam.
“Until Seowoo makes his decision, any kind of pressure is prohibited. Whether it’s verbal persuasion or overwhelming gifts…”
Haesol looked at Jihan and me alternately with an amused expression and added:
“Of course, persuasion by facial expression is also not allowed.”
“I can’t help how I look.”
Hapil Jae, who had been quietly agreeing, burst out laughing.
“You are handsome, but somehow that makes me even more annoyed…”
I did need time to think. Normally, I would have declined, but listening to Hapil Jae made it sound somewhat enjoyable.
The problem was that the day after the festival was Jihan’s birthday. Birthdays come around every year, but I wanted to be with him on this special day that only happens once a year.
‘It’s also the first birthday he’ll celebrate since our debut.’
I wanted to give him the gift I’d picked out myself, so if I did go, I’d have to return the same day. If we left early in the morning and departed in the evening, we could return before midnight. It would be perfect if I could ask Na Hyeonjun to pick up a cake on the way back for a surprise party.
But the next day, I ended up making a very unexpected decision.
* * *
“What is this…”
“What do you think?”
As soon as I returned to the dorm after finishing vocal lessons, I was greeted by a bouquet as big as a house.
“It’s a gift.”
“…”
“Won’t you accept it?”
The strong scent of roses tickled my nose. I looked up at Jihan while holding the bouquet. He was wearing a somewhat triumphant smile.
“Pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
It was a bouquet made of fresh pink roses. I thought they would be hard to find out of season, but they were so vibrant, as if we’d gone back to May.
“Yesterday, Haesol hyung said persuasion was prohibited.”
“This isn’t for persuasion.”
He took my hand that wasn’t holding the bouquet and led me inside. On the table was a lightly brewed ginger lemon tea. Since my vocal lessons had increased, he’d been making me a cup each time, saying it was good for my throat. Even though it wasn’t particularly to my taste, I drank it without complaint because I liked being taken care of.
“Then?”
Don’t get too happy. Don’t over-interpret. Stop getting excited on your own. I kept telling myself firmly, but the box in my heart was rattling loudly, screaming that there was no way to hide it.
“Just, for multiple reasons?”
I was pretending to smell the flowers, bowing my head to hide my rising smile, when he spoke.
“You’ve seemed down for the past few days. I wanted to cheer you up, and you seem to like flowers, and your birthday is coming up too.”
Wasn’t that too many reasons at once? As I was thinking that, Jihan quickly added:
“Your birthday present is separate. This is just an excuse.”
“…”
“You liked it last time, right? Am I wrong?”
“Well, I did…”
A flower gift from the person I love. How romantic. I put the bouquet down on the table for a moment and smiled broadly.
“Thank you. I’ll cherish it.”
I’ll keep these flowers for a few days and then dry them well to use as bookmarks too. With that thought, I brought over the book to check if the flowers for the bookmarks had been pressed properly.
Just as I was smiling contentedly at seeing the Dorothy Nabaro flowers nicely pressed and dried.
That’s when the problem arose.
“Isn’t that unnecessary now?”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
