You Want Me to Roleplay with My Unrequited Love? 59

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#59. Memory and Recollections (6)

“Bae Dojin’s Moonlit Night, Part 2. Our ‘Monday’s Little Guest,’ Yoon Seowoo-ssi, has come.”

“Hello, Dalchin everyone. This is Yoon Seowoo. I’m happy to be able to greet you again this week.”

It’s really scary how much practice helps. Now greeting comments flowed smoothly without much thought.

Perhaps having similar thoughts, Bae Dojin smiled brightly.

“Where did our innocent Seowoo-ssi go, who said it was his first time as a radio guest and looked around the recording room? Today he came early, settled in his seat, and was waiting for me.”

I responded with a joke as well.

“It’s not that I came early, but that sunbae-nim came on time.”

“Ahaha. Being caught like this.”

While Bae Dojin introduced the sponsored brands and explained today’s theme, ‘comfort,’ I clenched and unclenched my fist under the table.

‘Is he really listening?’

Na Jihan, who had gone to a corner spot in the parking garage saying he’d put me to sleep, buried in the darkness listening to my voice. Thinking of him made my palms feel slippery with emotions I couldn’t tell were nervousness or excitement.

If there was one fortunate thing, it was that I could quickly escape from such thoughts of him. When reading the stories that arrived, I could always find myself deeply absorbed in the fragments of life sent by nameless people, just like always.

After reading a few stories, recommending songs to those people, and listening to several advertisements again.

“Seowoo-ssi.”

Bae Dojin called me with a smiling face.

“They’ve sorted out the texts that came for Seowoo-ssi separately. Would you like to read them?”

As he said, texts sent by listeners had arrived on the screen. Among countless sentences, good words directed at me began entering me and stacking up layer by layer.

[Nothing went right today so I was depressed all day, but hearing Seowoo’s voice makes me feel good]

[Thank you so much for reading my story last time♡ Yoon Seowoo fighting, Arcus fighting too, let’s work hard on the comeback!]

[Seowoo, you are comfort to me]

[Please take care of us this week too]

[I want to see you soon (┬┬﹏┬┬) Supporting the 1st album activities!!!!!]

It felt like all the fatigue from getting up early in the morning and moving all day was completely washed away.

My gaze, which had been endlessly looking at the texts, paused briefly on the most recent message.

[Seowoo, where do you find comfort when you’re having a hard time?]

After the commercial ended, a moment for conversation arrived. It seemed Bae Dojin had received a similar question too.

“How do I handle it when I need comfort? I, um. I travel. Whether domestic or overseas doesn’t matter, but there are conditions. It has to be an open landscape.”

Come to think of it, I think I vaguely heard that his hobby was traveling.

“I like being buried in nature that’s overwhelmingly vast. I like looking at the horizon, and I like counting mountain ridgelines that spread out refreshingly. Steep canyons and skies scattered with stars are all good too.”

Bae Dojin spoke in a soft voice. It was just like reading a book.

“The more I feel the vastness of the world, the more I think my existence is ridiculously small. At the same time, the worries I was struggling and holding onto become really small and trivial. The fact that the things that troubled and worried me so much might actually be nothing special at all – that seems to be my comfort.”

After thinking for a moment, he continued.

“That’s probably why I usually prefer traveling alone. Like being temporarily separated like a remote island. Quietly putting my heart down in a peaceful situation.”

Bae Dojin looked at me and asked.

“How about you, Seowoo-ssi?”

“I……”

After choosing my words for a moment, I opened my mouth.

“I tend to find comfort from people’s hearts. In a way, it might be completely opposite from Dojin sunbae-nim. Because this overwhelming world is scary, I want the people I like to hold onto me.”

“You feel stable among people. There are people like that.”

“That’s right. It’s like they hold onto me like gravity. So after debuting, I’ve received a lot of comfort from the encouraging words fans send, and the messages Dalchin everyone sends. The fact that someone in this world is curious about me, likes me, and cheers for me feels like a miracle.”

It wasn’t just lip service – I really meant it. Through messages that arrived via radio, letters fans wrote to me on the fan cafe, and questions accumulated on the private message app ‘Whisper,’ I felt connected to the world. I relied on the hearts that cherished me to soothe loneliness and gain strength to live tomorrow.

“Listening to your story, I’ve become curious about one thing.”

Bae Dojin continued.

“Then before Seowoo-ssi debuted as an idol. When you hadn’t yet revealed yourself to the world, what was your greatest comfort?”

“Uh……”

The answer came surprisingly quickly.

“It was Jihan.”

“You mean Na Jihan-ssi from the same group?”

“Yes. Jihan was always by my side.”

I answered while scratching my cheek.

“One ally who wouldn’t change no matter what happened. To me, Jihan was that kind of existence. He’s the most reliable person in the world to me.”

That’s why no matter how hard things got, thinking of Na Jihan made me okay. Because he would always be by my side with the same meaning. He wouldn’t change, wouldn’t leave, and would cherish me.

“Thanks to that, I think I was able to do well without giving up on anything and stay strong.”

Suddenly I became curious about what Na Jihan would think hearing this. If he really was waiting for me in that car listening to the radio, maybe I should ask him once.

While having various thoughts, two hours passed busily. Today’s last song was a recommendation I had chosen. It was an old song I listened to when my heart felt gloomy, and Na Jihan, who knew I liked that song, sometimes played it while putting me to sleep.

“Good work everyone.”

“Good work to all of you too.”

While greetings were exchanged, I gathered my coat and bag with busy hands. Thinking there was someone waiting made my heart naturally hurried.

But just before leaving, I got caught by a staff member who was helping clean up and ended up chatting.

“Where does Seowoo-ssi go after work? The dorm?”

“Yes. Practice is over for today.”

“You said June comeback, right? Oh, there’s not much time left. It’s your busiest time. My friend is waiting just for the mini 1st album. She even joined Hope 1st generation.”

“Thank you.”

Bae Dojin chimed in.

“Right. You must be busy preparing for the comeback, but you come every week, so thank you. I should buy you a meal sometime.”

We had gotten closer through doing radio together, but still not to the extent of eating meals with Bae Dojin. I wanted to politely decline that situation which would probably give me indigestion nine times out of ten.

“I’m only once a week, but sunbae-nim does this every day. You must be busy… You said you’re doing a festival stage this summer?”

Days had been selected as headliners for the Busan Festival in August, so it was time to be heating up with stage preparations. I had actually run into Bae Dojin and other Days members quite often while going back and forth to the company building.

“You know about that too?”

Bae Dojin smiled broadly and joked.

“We must have gotten pretty close. You’re taking interest in me.”

“Hapil likes festivals. He goes every year, but he was worrying about what his schedule would be like this year and missed ticketing.”

“I can’t do anything about the schedule, but I think I can solve the ticket problem. I’ll get you invitation tickets.”

Thinking I might feel burdened, he quickly explained that he had extras anyway.

“I’ll bring them next week, so don’t feel burdened and just take them. It would be even better if Seowoo-ssi came too.”

Perhaps because I wasn’t confident about properly having fun, it wasn’t such a tempting proposal.

“I’ll check my schedule. Thank you. Then……”

While having various conversations, 20 minutes had already passed. I stomped my feet inwardly and smiled awkwardly.

“Can I head in now?”

“Ah.”