#46. The Duration of Affection (1)
Was it because all the tension was released at once? After returning to the dorm, I suffered from body aches all day.
I refused dinner and holed up in my room, pulling the blanket over my head. Even though I seemed to have turned the heating up to maximum, I was cold enough for my teeth to chatter.
“…”
I hated winter. The biggest reason was that I couldn’t stand the cold. I also hated that peculiar feeling of being isolated alone from a world bustling with various events. The annual anniversary of my mother’s death and the family problems it caused were also exhausting.
Since it was a season full of nothing but heartache in many ways, I had no particular affection or attachment to it. Since it was finally March, I thought the detestable winter had safely retreated, but…
“Cold.”
It was as cold as if we’d returned to the middle of winter.
“…Cold.”
Even though complaining wouldn’t make it any less cold, I muttered in vain.
As I muttered like that a few more times, a familiar voice suddenly interrupted and answered.
“Very cold?”
“…”
“Pull back the blanket for a moment.”
I didn’t answer right away. I knew it was very foolish, but when your body hurts, your heart easily becomes childish.
After pondering for a while, I hesitantly pulled back the blanket and peeked out only my eyes, but Na Jihan waited for me silently. Soon a large hand approached and gently stroked my forehead to gauge my temperature.
“You’re hotter than before. Can you eat porridge?”
“…”
“You need to eat something to take medicine.”
“…”
“Want to eat later?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Then let’s eat in the morning. That’s a promise.”
As I nodded gently, the hand that had been covering my forehead fell away. Soon a cold wet towel took its place.
The damp, heavy towel pressing down made my already throbbing head hurt even more. When I groaned and showed my dislike, Na Jihan whispered soothingly.
“Your throat hurts so you can’t take medicine, and you wouldn’t want to get an IV.”
He was right. Right now, swallowing saliva was torture, let alone taking pills, and I hated the idea of showing this state to other people even more.
‘But it’s too cold…’
When I shivered, he soothed me gently again.
“Just 30 minutes. If we cool down the fever a little, I won’t torture you anymore.”
I thought he’d be angry that I hid my illness and pushed through the schedule, but surprisingly, Na Jihan didn’t scold me. In my blurred vision, his face was just looking at me with a pitying expression.
“Don’t be sick, Yoon Seowoo.”
There was a rustling sound, and his thumb, which had something applied to it, gently pressed my lips. It was probably Vaseline. Because my lips always crack when I’m sick, with the meaning of not being sick after I’m all better.
“I already have eyes only for you, but when you’re sick on top of that.”
He gently caressed the corner of my mouth.
“I want to stop you from working so hard even if you’re sick.”
“…”
“I’m only letting it slide this time. Got it?”
It was probably meant as a warning, but perhaps because of the emotion in his voice, it sounded more like a plea.
I pulled at Na Jihan’s collar as he was about to move away and whispered softly.
“Cold…”
Instead of moving away, he came closer to me. Soon he lifted the blanket and came close to me, pushing me into his embrace.
Na Jihan’s body seemed cool yet warm. It took away the unnecessarily overflowing heat and generously gave me the warmth I really wanted.
Trapped in that solid embrace, there was nothing in the world to be afraid of. So today too, I just leaned on him pretending not to know anything, and could only remind myself of the excuse that I couldn’t help but like him.
“Jihan.”
I like you.
“…Na Jihan.”
Because I like you, I endlessly become strong then infinitely weak.
“Yeah.”
Actually, it doesn’t matter if I’m strong or weak. That’s not what’s really important to me.
“I’m here, Seowoo.”
I just need you.
I spread my arms and greedily pulled Na Jihan into an embrace. Even though just a moment ago I didn’t have the strength to lift a finger, I don’t know where that energy came from.
Because I was trying to embrace his entire body, my arms ended up pressed tightly against my body, but Na Jihan didn’t complain at all. Instead, he lowered his head slightly and pressed his cheek against the crown of my head.
“You…”
“Yeah?”
“…”
“It’s okay. You can say it. Why me?”
You, don’t do this with other people.
“No.”
Don’t be as affectionate with other people as you are with me.
“Don’t be bland and get some sleep. Even if you say you don’t want to eat porridge in the morning, I won’t let it slide.”
“I know.”
I answered as if mumbling and hugged him a little tighter.
“I need to eat something to get energy for the meeting…”
“What meeting.”
Because he spoke with his cheek pressed against my head, soft vibrations flowed in every time he opened his mouth.
“You don’t have a schedule tomorrow. I canceled everything.”
“Then what am I supposed to do alone at the dorm.”
“Why would you be alone?”
Na Jihan’s arm moved. He seemed to want to check my fever, but unfortunately, I had no desire to let him go.
When I pretended not to know, he chuckled softly and moved his body a little. He lowered his head and pressed his lips firmly against my forehead.
“I don’t have a schedule tomorrow either. I canceled everything.”
“You’re not even sick, why…”
“But you’re sick.”
“…”
“I asked them to postpone it just one day.”
The warm words Na Jihan breathed out spread across my forehead.
“So stay with me until tomorrow.”
Only then did I release my arms that had been binding him tightly. There was a rustling sound, and soon his arms wrapped around my entire body before pressing his upper body close.
My fever couldn’t have suddenly gone down from those few minutes of hugging. My head still hurt, my throat still stung, and I still had trouble putting strength in my neck.
But even so.
“Yeah.”
“…”
“Stay with me until tomorrow.”
I no longer felt the cold.
* * *
A few days later, our first variety show filming was scheduled.
There were two appearance candidates. A concept talk show where you wear school uniforms, ‘Knowing Bros’. And a time attack cooking competition program, ‘Please Take Care of My Dining Table’.
Originally, we were going to appear on ‘Knowing Bros’. There was a segment suitable for promoting our new song, and there was an opinion that we should highlight the vocal’s charm on the live stage. There was also talk that it would be good to show me and Na Jihan in school uniforms while appealing our relationship of being together since school days.
However, after several days of consideration, Na Jihan asked to change the program I would appear on.
‘I think it would be better for Piljai to go on ‘Knowing Bros’ instead of Seowoo. Piljai is used to quick thinking, so he won’t be shaken even if the MCs play mean pranks.’
‘But on ‘Please Take Care of My Dining Table’, you have to eat the food that comes out in the competition and react to it. Seowoo doesn’t eat much, and there are several ingredients he doesn’t eat well… will it be okay?’
‘It’s fine. Haesol hyung eats well in general, and since Seowoo is a bit picky, it’ll create discernment when judging. I know well that kid is a picky eater. But there’s a way to solve that.’
‘How?’
‘We’ll use our dorm refrigerator, right? We just won’t put in things Seowoo doesn’t eat from the start.’
So my and Hapil’s schedules were switched, and today. I came to the ‘Please Take Care of My Dining Table’ set with Haesol.
‘Amazing.’
It was a feeling of pleasant excitement in my chest. My condition was good thanks to cleanly shaking off the body aches, and more than anything, it was a schedule I had been secretly looking forward to.
Actually, I was a regular viewer of this program. I originally liked cooking programs, but ‘Please Take Care of My Dining Table’ not only had the charm of cooking competitions but also carefully included unexpected fun.
Among the chefs divided into two teams, there was someone I really wanted to meet. It was the author who drew a children’s cooking manga called <Bringing the World to the Dining Table>, and these days they were responsible for this program’s ratings with their characteristically witty cooking skills.
As I sat down with my chest full of excitement, the cast members I had only seen on TV came in one by one and filled the area around me and Haesol.
“Alright, let’s work hard on today’s ‘Please Take Care of My Dining Table’ filming too. I’ll clap and we’ll go in. Three, two, one.”
Clap!
Feeling the loud sound ring out, I clenched my fist tightly.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
