#33. Temperature of the Heart (3)
In the end, I stopped by the CEO’s office and picked up a tablet.
I thought about watching it while eating but gave up. Even though it was quieter than usual because of the holiday, it wasn’t completely empty of people, so it felt somewhat embarrassing.
‘I’ll go up to the practice room after finishing my meal and watch it there.’
Maybe because my heart was floating, the food wouldn’t go down at all. I was picking at the innocent rice grains, eating halfheartedly, when my phone buzzed.
It was a call from Na Jihan.
– Why is there only one photo?
“Well… I haven’t finished eating yet.”
Na Jihan’s voice was slightly louder than usual, probably because it was noisy around him.
– Are you holding a memorial service? You don’t even like cold food.
“……”
– Eat the seasoned black beans too. How old are you to be such a picky eater?
I glanced down at my meal tray. Unlike the other side dishes that I had at least touched once, only the seasoned black beans remained exactly as I had first received them.
How does he know everything so eerily well when he’s not even here with me?
“I’m going to eat it. Are you eating your meals properly?”
– I’m eating so well it’s troubling.
A grumbling voice followed, saying he seemed to have gained about a kilogram already.
“You’re going to manage it for a while after coming back anyway, so it’s fine.”
– That’s true. Ah, I need to hurry and go boil eggs for our Yoon Seowoo.
I laughed “ahaha” at that, when suddenly the sound of chattering got closer.
– Jihan hyung, Jihan hyung.
– Hyung. Great-uncle gave us a card to buy ice cream. Come with us.
– Right. Come with hyung.
They seemed to be his younger cousins. With so many people gathering, there were quite a few kids, and I heard that the little ones in that house followed Na Jihan around well.
– Hyung, just 5 minutes. I’m on a call.
– Is it that person from earlier? The one who didn’t answer when you called?
– Right. Hyung was totally waiting for a text too. What is it? A girlfriend?
The sound of them chattering competitively was just adorable. From the way they talked, they seemed to be around ten years old.
Na Jihan and I back then had to grow up in a hurry because too many things happened. Unlike us who had to act like adults and scurry around, these kids acting innocently were just lovable.
– Dummy, what girlfriend? Jihan hyung is an idol.
– So what about idols?
– What do you mean so what? Idols don’t have girlfriends or anything like that. Jihan hyung said so. Right?
– Yeah. Not a girlfriend. Hyung doesn’t have that kind of thing.
When I finally burst into giggles, Na Jihan laughed along.
– I need to go buy ice cream for the little ones. See you later.
– Okay, have fun. Na Jihan-ssi who doesn’t have a girlfriend.
– Don’t leave those beans, Yoon Seowoo you little one.
After ending the call, I chewed and ate the seasoned black beans thoroughly. I didn’t like either the characteristic sweet-salty taste of the seasoned beans or the dry texture of the beans themselves, but I didn’t leave a single one.
[Good job.]
What’s so special about those three letters.
Even after arriving at the practice room, I fiddled with the text message for a long time before leaning against the mirror wall and taking out the tablet I had brought.
As soon as I turned on the screen, it was filled with teaser videos to be released in a few days, individual photo shoots for the album, and documentary behind-the-scenes cuts.
“…It came out well.”
Na Jihan’s photo with the midday sea behind him caught my attention. His face laughing brightly while looking somewhere far away seemed to literally shine.
I was glad I wasn’t making eye contact with Na Jihan in the photo. If I had been, I would have been staring endlessly at just this photo without looking at anything else.
Belatedly coming to my senses, I played the teaser video, and a soft music box sound leaked through the speakers. It was the introduction to the debut song, ‘First Dream’.
Since it was a teaser, the entire song didn’t play, but they cleverly connected one verse each from the parts each member was responsible for.
– Whispering the words I’ve been waiting for like the wind
Under a tree where morning sunlight settled cluster by cluster, Ahn Haesol stood upright. A warm and gentle smile appeared on his face with closed eyes.
– In your pure white smile, the world sparkled
Soon, Na Jihan’s figure with the blue sea spread behind him filled the screen, similar to the photo I had seen earlier. With both hands thrust into his pockets, he tilted his head slightly and smiled mischievously, his mouth moving slightly.
– I am your deepest secret
Joo Lee Seon at dawn was very mature. His languid and quiet voice felt like it was settling ticklishly in my ears. Like someone who had promised to meet in secret. It was a quiet gaze as if it were a secret finally faced only after shaking off countless gazes.
Soon the screen darkened and night came with the sound of crashing waves. Beyond the golden sparkling sparklers, a sharp and glamorous face was revealed.
– That tingling sensation when fingertips brush
Hapil Jae’s thin lips curved upward in a beautiful line. His gaze staring straight ahead was so clear it even looked provocative.
And again the sun rose and it was early evening, calmly settled. Bare feet busily moved forward as if walking toward a world made only of soft colors.
– I secretly draw you into my dreams
It was amazing. I, wearing a pure white shirt and making footprints in the sand as I moved, looked exactly like a different person. The voice that felt somehow boyish also sounded a bit softer than when I actually sang it.
I was finally starting to realize it bit by bit. I’m really debuting. I’m going to introduce myself to the world like this.
“I thought I might not be able to do it…”
The transfer after the closure announcement was instantaneous, but there’s such a thing as intuition, so I couldn’t not know. People who changed frequently and then decreased, clear-cut support that became vague and schedules that were pushed back indefinitely – I couldn’t help but become anxious bit by bit seeing all this.
Is my dream really okay? Will there really be a way to put down this anxiety and loneliness?
But eventually the situation changed and flowed until here. I met better people and even got to debut with the guy I’ve loved my whole life.
‘Have you changed your mind now? Is it okay to be with me?’
More than just okay. The truth is I wanted to be like this all along. I wanted to be in the closest place as always. I wanted to be together in sad moments and happy moments.
I had to admit it. Saying I wouldn’t debut together was really stupid stubbornness.
Like he had been my whole life, and like he had been confident about.
Na Jihan was Yoon Seowoo’s best choice.
‘Should I head back soon?’
Since we decided to have dinner together, it would be better to just go back early today. I’ll just return the tablet to the CEO’s office and…
“Seowoo-ssi, you’re here again today.”
I heard light knocking sounds.
“Trainer-nim.”
“I was going up to the CEO’s office for a moment and coming back, and they said the tablet was with Seowoo-ssi.”
“I’m sorry. I was about to return it right away…”
“Oh no, no. I was coming down to see the kids anyway, so it’s fine.”
When I opened my eyes wide at the word “kids,” he grinned.
“I’m helping the trainee kids with choreography. They’re going crazy preparing for monthly evaluations.”
“Ah…”
“Arcus already has their debut set, so they probably won’t go into monthly evaluations, but there are comprehensive evaluations once per season. You’ll probably have something to prepare for after this activity ends.”
I smiled broadly and nodded.
“Yes. I heard about it from our leader hyung.”
“Show the kids. Tell them this is how you have to do it if you want to debut cleanly.”
I could only give an embarrassed smile.
I know. The fact that I’m actually lucky. I haven’t met Midnight’s trainees yet, but I also know that the reason they haven’t debuted yet isn’t only because of those people’s shortcomings.
“I still have a long way to go too, sir.”
“I won’t deny that.”
The trainer patted my shoulder and laughed out loud.
“If you’re going far, take it easy. It’s still a major national holiday. Do you know that only Seowoo-ssi from Arcus comes to work every day?”
“I was actually planning to go home early today.”
Since he even took the tablet for me, I could just go back like this.
“Oh. Did someone come to pick you up? Or do you have plans?”
A mischievous smile spread across his face.
“Come to think of it, you look more excited than usual.”
“…Do I?”
I unconsciously rubbed my cheek with the back of my hand and muttered.
“I guess I show a lot on my face.”
“You’re not exactly a poker face, are you?”
I knew it wasn’t meant in a bad way, but I couldn’t help but worry.
What if everything I keep in my heart shows on my face and gets found out? I want to secretly treasure my feelings of liking someone.
When I let out a deep sigh, he laughed heartily and patted my back.
“But the members take good care of you. These days the Arcus kids look good being so close. It’s all thanks to Seowoo-ssi.”
“What have I done to deserve credit…”
The tickling words weren’t unpleasant to hear. Because they sounded like I was someone truly needed.
So I couldn’t help but smile along.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
