#32. Temperature of the Heart (2)
I could barely remember what the journey back from Jeju Island to Seoul was like.
The schedule had been like a forced march, sleeping in unfamiliar places, and various reasons that made it impossible to sleep peacefully were all added together. As if that wasn’t enough, when the tension finally released, I was completely exhausted by the time we arrived at the airport.
Fortunately, Na Jihan was someone who had become so accustomed to taking care of me in such situations that it was second nature to him. He helped my limp body onto the plane, held my hand gently and shook it, saying he’d wake me when we arrived.
I loved every moment of it. Na Jihan’s body heat intertwined between my fingers, his touch occasionally tidying my disheveled hair or pulling up the blanket. Even the faint presence I could sense when I tried to ignore the approaching drowsiness and listened carefully.
Then, when I opened my drowsy eyes, Na Jihan’s face was always right in front of me. Just like now, looking at me with that quiet, affectionate gaze.
Just like now…
“…Huh?”
Blink. I closed my eyes and opened them again. Blink, blink. Even that wasn’t enough, so I put a little more force into my eyelids and repeated it a few more times.
Still the same. That familiar, handsome face was boldly occupying my field of vision.
The bewilderment came a beat late.
“What, what, what? What?”
Na Jihan grabbed my shoulders as I urgently bolted upright. A subtle shadow fell between his thick eyebrows.
“Why are you jumping up like that? What if you get dizzy?”
“No, why…”
I was so flustered that my voice caught. I fumbled for words before calling his name.
“Na Jihan?”
“Yeah, Seowoo.”
“Why are you in my room?”
“Ah.”
Several days had passed since we returned from Jeju Island, and the Lunar New Year holiday was right around the corner.
Lee Seon and Hapil had decided to travel together, and Haesol said he was going to his cousin’s house in Seoul. Na Jihan would also be busy throughout the holiday due to family gatherings.
“I should start getting ready to leave soon, but I thought I’d just take a quick look at your face before that.”
“If you wanted to say goodbye, you should have woken me up.”
“I wasn’t planning to say goodbye. Why would I wake up a sleeping kid?”
So that’s why he’d been staring at me the whole time without waking me up. Looking at it this way, he really was an odd guy.
I was still rubbing my eyes, which were stiff from lingering fatigue, when Na Jihan pressed down on my shoulder to make me lie back down.
“Sleep more. It’s a bit noisy downstairs, but it’ll be fine once the kids leave.”
I shook my head from side to side.
Even though there was no schedule, I wasn’t planning to just play around the whole time. No matter how much I prepared for the approaching debut, it never felt like enough.
‘I should do some basic physical training, choose songs for the monthly evaluation, and prepare for the Ronin camera test too.’
I was organizing my tasks step by step in my head when Na Jihan, who had been sitting by the bedside, grinned and asked:
“Want to come with me?”
“Huh? Come where… Hey. Why would I go to your family gathering? I’m not family.”
At those words, Na Jihan drooped the corners of his eyebrows, looking disappointed.
“How are you not my family?”
“No, no. You know that’s not what I meant. I’m talking about blood relatives.”
His face clearly showed he was teasing me despite knowing better, which annoyed me for no reason. I spoke in a sulky voice:
“You and I are like family, but we’re not blood-related or married.”
“Mm.”
He nodded with a quite serious expression.
“Being blood-related is something I can’t help since it’s by birth… but it’s a shame.”
I was stretching when his bombshell declaration continued:
“If Yoon Seowoo were a woman, I might have begged my mom to let us get married.”
“What…”
Even though I knew it was an impossible hypothetical, my heart still fluttered for no reason. My face didn’t turn red, did it? I quickly steadied my breathing inconspicuously and deliberately narrowed my eyes.
“Who was it that said they wouldn’t date someone they’d have to see for life?”
“That’s also true. So I probably wouldn’t have actually tried to get married.”
He’d want to get married but wouldn’t actually do it? Since he put it that way, I had to ask why.
“Why?”
“Desire and reality are different things.”
Na Jihan answered in a voice that felt indifferent rather than calm.
“If it’s not just dating but marriage, that’s really reality among realities. You can’t just see the good sides of life, and I’d hate to make you suffer like that.”
“Your family is harmonious though.”
“Generally, yes, but it’s not like all the cousins get along well. And just because my family is like that doesn’t mean yours is.”
Na Jihan spoke with a blunt attitude.
“How could I forget how your aunt kept going in and out of your paternal relatives’ house for years after the divorce, talking about daughter-in-law duties and whatnot.”
His voice was still sulky as he added that others might forget, but he couldn’t, which somehow made me laugh.
“But Jia noona got married and is doing well. Our family is particularly dysfunctional, so I’m sorry if that shattered your illusions.”
Na Jihan’s older sister, Na Jia, had formed a harmonious family that looked like something out of a picture. It was amazing to see every time.
“I didn’t have illusions about dating or marriage anyway. I hated wasting time on things with no merit, so it worked out well.”
Thinking about other celebrities who had fallen to rock bottom due to poorly timed gossip and various scandals, it could be seen as an optimal personality for being an idol. It was also reassuring that he wasn’t the type to do something outrageous.
“Then what’s merit to you? You already have plenty of money… Career? Sense of achievement?”
There was a clattering sound from the first floor. It seemed like troublemaker Hapil had dropped something again and was getting scolded.
The noisy conversation continued briefly before Na Hyeonjun, who had come up to the second floor, knocked on my door.
“Na Jihan, I knew you’d be here. If you’re done getting ready, why don’t you come down?”
“I was about to go down. What did Hapil break this time?”
“He lost his grip on his suitcase on the stairs. That kid really has butterfingers. Seowoo, did the noise wake you up? You can sleep more.”
“No. I need to go practice too. See you after the holiday, hyung.”
“Alright. I filled up the fridge with food, so don’t skip meals and eat properly. Call right away if anything happens. Dress warmly when you go out. Don’t sleep with the window open…”
“Ugh. You came up here just to nag again. Looking at it, nagging must be genetic in the Na family.”
“Hey, what do you mean genetic? You’re the worst one. You nag Yoon Seowoo the most in all of Korea.”
Na Jihan must have thought it was hopeless because he quickly got up. He pushed Na Hyeonjun’s back to shoo him out, then turned to look at me leaning against the headboard.
“Ah, about what we were talking about earlier.”
“Earlier?”
“You asked what merit was to me.”
Na Jihan grinned mischievously as he replied:
“For Na Jihan, the merit is Yoon Seowoo.”
“…”
“I’m leaving. Call me.”
It was fortunate that he quickly left the room. Thanks to that, he didn’t catch me turning bright red not just in the face but all the way to the nape of my neck.
* * *
The human heart is truly fickle.
I had clearly thought I’d become accustomed to living alone after spending all that time on it, but this house, silent for days on end, felt so strange and awkward.
Even though I’d only been living in the dorm for barely a season.
When the members who had been making such a ruckus disappeared, my appetite dropped as if by magic. If it weren’t for the Na family members who pestered me with calls and texts at every meal, I probably wouldn’t have touched the food in the fridge at all.
[Missed calls (3): Na Jihan]
[Missed calls (1): Na Hyeonjun]
It was already the last day of the holiday. Everyone said they’d be back this evening, or at the latest tomorrow morning, so this silence would be gone in a day.
I had practiced hard for several days, so I thought I’d take it easy today and slept in for the first time in a while. Sure enough, I had missed calls from exactly the people I’d expect.
Na Jihan had left not just calls but texts too.
[Yoon Seowoo eat]
[Food]
[If you’re too lazy to prepare it yourself, go to (link) and buy something or go to the company cafeteria]
[Eggs aren’t a meal so don’t think about getting by with just that]
[Eat properly and send a picture]
When he called last night asking what I’d eaten, I carelessly told him honestly that I’d gotten by with eggs, which doubled the nagging.
[You take care of yourself too]
I was writing a text saying I’d go to the company and eat properly when my phone rang urgently. In the end, I told him directly what I was going to write in the unsent text, and only after promising to take a picture after eating everything did Na Jihan hang up satisfied.
‘I’ll leave grandma’s place in the afternoon. Let’s have dinner together.’
The words that you’re coming back to my side after a long vacation made me so happy that my whole heart felt ticklish.
With much lighter steps, I went to the company building, where a tired-looking woman saw me and greeted me familiarly.
“Oh, Seowoo. You’re here? Perfect timing.”
“CEO-nim.”
“If you’re not busy, want to come up for a bit? It just got finished, and Seowoo gets to see it first.”
“Finished?”
“Yeah.”
Han Seongkyung smiled brightly as she answered:
“Your music video teaser came out.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
