#3. What is Business Gay Performance? (3)
We were born four days apart.
When I came to my senses, I was with Na Jihan. There was no other way to explain it than that. When we were babbling, when we took our first steps, when we first wrote our three-character names, the first day we went to daycare, the day our first baby teeth fell out—through all those countless milestones until now.
Just as we inherited our surnames from our fathers, we inherited our mothers’ friendship and naturally grew up together. I, who was always a bit slow and very shy, safely melted into the world thanks to Na Jihan, and Na Jihan, who was excessively energetic and troubled many people, learned patience thanks to me.
Na Jihan was the first and greatest stroke of luck arranged in my life.
I don’t know when I started liking Na Jihan. I just came to my senses and found it was already like that. It wasn’t a result I obtained through some kind of resolution or effort.
I didn’t like that guy because I wanted to like him. I liked him because I couldn’t help but like him.
However, just because Na Jihan was a good person and I liked him didn’t mean our relationship only brought positive effects.
‘Ah, Yoon Seowoo. The kid who’s closest to Na Jihan?’
‘Yeah. They’ve been friends since they were babies.’
‘Whoa! Amazing. Then his family must be rich too, right? Na Jihan’s dad does business.’
‘Right. They’re both rich young masters. Is that why Seowoo’s parents have never come to school?’
That was the problem. We were so close that even when we became topics of gossip, we were talked about together.
‘Seowoo? He’s pretty, but compared to Jihan, doesn’t his presence seem a bit faded?’
‘What are you talking about? The fact that he didn’t become a squid next to Na Jihan is already amazing.’
‘That’s true. Na Jihan is better at using his body, but Yoon Seowoo is better at using his hands. Like art or instruments.’
‘I heard he sings well too.’
‘What? Jihan sings well too.’
I wanted to make my existence known as ‘Yoon Seowoo.’ I hated being evaluated as ‘the kid who’s closest to Na Jihan’ before being accepted as completely myself.
It was like that as a person, so how much more so as an idol?
Of course, this wasn’t Na Jihan’s fault. It wasn’t wrong that he was handsome, talented, and on top of that, kind and friendly.
“It’s not that I dislike you.”
I always wanted to say this to Na Jihan. That I didn’t avoid you because I disliked you. That I had never, not once in my life, not even for a second, disliked you.
“It’s absolutely not that I dislike being with you…”
“But you went to UJ.”
Na Jihan cut off my words. Strangely, he sounded a bit hurt.
“I auditioned here because I wanted to debut with you. I just waited for the results with a praying heart. You would definitely pass, and we always did well together at everything.”
“…”
“But, Yoon Seowoo. As soon as you heard I auditioned, you went somewhere else. You deliberately auditioned for UJ too. You even avoided me with this excuse and that excuse until the results came out.”
“…Jihan, that’s…”
“Am I still misunderstanding?”
I didn’t know how to answer. While I was flustered and hesitating, that’s when it happened.
“Ah. I think I know what you mean.”
Mine and Na Jihan’s gazes whipped toward Ahn Haesol, who had just spoken. He laughed out loud and said:
“So, Seowoo doesn’t like riding on Jihan’s coattails. Whether in a good way or bad way. He wanted to be evaluated separately, so that’s a bit different from liking or disliking Jihan. Right?”
This was the first person to understand this immediately. I opened my eyes wide in surprise and asked:
“Yes… How did you know, Haesol hyung?”
“I’m from a survival audition program.”
Ahn Haesol shrugged his shoulders.
“I experienced all kinds of things there. I saw people who had a hard time after applying with close friends, and I’ve also thought about wanting to be evaluated purely as an individual. So I immediately understood what you were worried about, Seowoo.”
At those words, Na Jihan said in an annoyed voice:
“What are you talking about? I don’t get it.”
Hapil naturally butted in.
“Of course hyung doesn’t know. Your presence is like a black hole level.”
I glanced around at the members and squeezed up my courage.
“So, about that. I don’t really want to publicize the fact that we’re childhood friends to the outside…”
Then Hapil raised his hand and said in a casual tone:
“That would be difficult.”
“Why…”
“Why? You hyungs are really obvious. And honestly, why bother?”
Na Jihan nodded.
“Right. Why bother.”
“Being close isn’t even a negative factor, so why hide it? Just look at us. The distance really shortened when we heard he was Jihan hyung’s friend.”
Even Joo Lee Seon, who had been quietly listening, supported Hapil.
“I’m of the same opinion.”
“Yoon Seowoo.”
Na Jihan called me in a thoroughly annoyed voice.
“You avoided me and tried to debut separately somewhere else just because of that?”
“Hey. ‘Just because of that’—why are you saying it so hurtfully?”
“Shouldn’t I be the one who’s hurt?”
As if he thought we two were about to bicker, Ahn Haesol skillfully intervened.
“You can’t get angry, Jihan. Seowoo has Seowoo’s position too. Of course I understand not wanting your friend to make choices that hurt them…”
“That’s exactly the problem. I don’t like Yoon Seowoo doing things that hurt him. He should have pushed me away instead—why is he the one suffering?”
Hapil clapped his hands to divert attention.
“There might have been something more important than profit calculations, right? Anyway, that’s enough. Isn’t what’s important now? Anyway, he’s taking a big detour to join as our member.”
Hapil’s sparkling gaze flew toward me. Maybe it was because his eyes were big and the corners turned up—he looked exactly like a cat that had discovered a new toy.
“Could you sing just one song? I’m curious about hyung’s voice.”
That’s right. He was coming in as the main vocal, so it was natural to be curious. I obediently nodded and straightened my back while sitting on the floor.
While thinking about what song to sing, I made eye contact with Na Jihan. Strangely, at that moment, all distracting thoughts disappeared and my lips naturally parted.
The little boy living and breathing in your eyes
If only I could live forever in your heart
Love blooms within me and flies toward you
Circling around you, secretly offering a petal
Let’s walk through this season together
Let’s just face each other and smile today
“…It’s Days sunbae-nim’s song.”
Ahn Haesol muttered.
“So you can sing the low bridge raised like this. Good.”
Come to think of it, the original artist was a senior group from Midnight Entertainment.
‘What a coincidence.’
I hadn’t deliberately chosen it knowing that. It was just one of the songs I usually liked, so it was familiar to my ears and comfortable in my mouth.
Days’ first full album track, ‘Boy,’ was my favorite song from that album. A long time ago, when I couldn’t sleep and was tossing and turning, Na Jihan had sung it to me like a lullaby, and after that, I often listened to it when I wanted to calm down and fell deeply in love with it.
I wouldn’t need to sing the whole song, right? I just needed to let them hear my voice.
I was thinking that and was about to open my slightly closed eyes when:
“Oh, this is it. Really good. Exactly! Just what I wanted.”
Clap clap clap. With loud applause, Han Seonggyeong, who had been leaning against the door, came in. His face was full of a satisfied smile.
“…CEO-nim.”
“Kids. Doesn’t Seowoo’s voice sound really good?”
When did he arrive? I felt a bit embarrassed and my cheeks flushed hot.
“It’s clear and soft but somehow stimulates nostalgia. A wistful feeling. But his range is wide too, and his vocalization is quite solid. Seowoo, how long were you a trainee at UJ?”
“One year.”
“Not bad. Doesn’t seem like you have any bad habits either.”
Han Seonggyeong, who had approached with big strides, showed his teeth in a bright smile.
“Were you getting along well with your introductions? You’re friends with Jihan. Take care of him in various ways so he doesn’t feel left out.”
“Yes, CEO-nim.”
“I just finished talking with UJ Entertainment, and other procedures are almost wrapped up too. Seowoo, follow me upstairs. I’ll show you the contract.”
Even though Na Jihan’s presence weighed on my mind, this was actually very good conditions. No, they were extraordinary conditions. The largest entertainment company in the country, plus the most influential label there, a group with confirmed debut, and members who were all outstanding.
A blessing in disguise. A life reversal. It was an opportunity that didn’t spare such expressions. I wasn’t foolish enough not to know that this was something I couldn’t let slip away.
“Understood. Should I go up now?”
“Sure. Everything’s ready.”
I was about to follow Han Seonggyeong when suddenly my arm was grabbed. The large hand that had gripped my elbow softly slid down and squeezed my hand tightly.
“…Na Jihan?”
“Can I come along too, CEO-nim?”
Long, firm fingers dug between my fingers. Na Jihan, who had interlocked our fingers like that, said:
“I’m Yoon Seowoo’s guardian.”
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
