#22. Between Friends (8)
“This is hard in its own way too…”
It felt like I hadn’t done much all day, but that’s how it was. We had just arrived at the accommodation, looked at the nearby ocean, eaten and cleaned up, but the whole day was already ending. It was as tiring as our usual schedule packed tight with training.
After washing up, I surveyed the room with troubled eyes.
‘Ah, there’s really no way around this.’
The bed taking up the center of the room. And even a camera twinkling with a small light in one corner. I knew it was unavoidable because of documentary filming, but I couldn’t help feeling dissatisfied.
I was standing still, gauging the camera’s angle range, when I heard the door opening behind me.
“Why are you standing there like that?”
Na Jihan, dressed in light training clothes, carried the scent of cool and fresh winter wind.
“Did you work out?”
“The road was brighter than expected, so I ran a lap around the accommodation with Haesol hyung. I’m going to do weights and wash up, but you can sleep first.”
Recently, because his exercise volume had increased, he often wore wrist guards when doing weights, and it seemed he had come to get them now.
As expected, Na Jihan rummaged through his suitcase and pulled out black wrist guards. They were what I had bought him as a birthday present last year.
“Make sure to dry your hair properly. Even though I turned on the heating in advance, the ceiling is high so it gets cold quickly.”
“Okay.”
I answered but hesitated instead of going right in, and Na Jihan, who had been looking at me puzzledly, grinned.
“Aha.”
With a relaxed attitude, he put on the wrist guards, stood up from his spot, and spread his arms wide.
“It’s not like this is the first time we’re sharing a bed, so why are you being shy, our Seowoo? Anyone watching would think we’re incredibly formal with each other.”
“Hey!”
“What. Want a hug? Then sure, why not.”
Na Jihan, who had been approaching with that posture while smiling, lightly waved his arms when he stopped exactly one step away from me, then slowly withdrew them. It meant that was as far as the camera’s range reached.
“Come to think of it, hugging right now wouldn’t work. You just washed up but I came in after running.”
He pretended to hug the air and added that we should just count this as having done it.
“You hate being touched after working out.”
“That’s true, but you’re not… I don’t hate it…”
“Ah. You don’t hate it?”
“That doesn’t mean I’m asking for a hug, so go away.”
I really didn’t hate it. While it was annoying and bothersome when other guys my age did it, naturally Na Jihan was different.
Even when doing the same exercise, Na Jihan was different from other guys. He didn’t smell unpleasant and rarely got messy. Even when approaching closely, I only felt the warm energy from his raised body temperature.
However, that didn’t mean it wasn’t troublesome. His slightly flushed face, disheveled appearance, and breathing that sounded more vivid and rapid than usual often stimulated the unwholesome desires within me.
“You’re so picky anyway. Just like a rich family’s cat.”
“Are you going to keep talking nonsense?”
Instead of answering, I smacked his back. Na Jihan laughed out loud and left the room.
* * *
The room was dark and quiet.
Na Jihan praised himself for opening the door as carefully as possible a few seconds ago and pushed his body into the darkness.
The figure curled up in one corner of the bed hadn’t moved even when he returned from washing in the bathroom. Only when he approached very close could he hear the peaceful breathing of someone sleeping soundly.
Na Jihan, who had lowered himself by the bedside, gently stroked Yoon Seowoo’s hair.
“I knew this would happen.”
I told you to dry your hair properly before sleeping. A sigh-like murmur was added.
Although he himself had washed his hair with lukewarm water and didn’t dry it properly either, Na Jihan was absorbed in looking at the sleeping figure. Unlike himself who could get by doing everything roughly, he knew the other was easily affected by the environment and often had minor ailments.
“How can I not nag more when you’re like this? Yoon Seowoo.”
Though he muttered as if scolding, it wasn’t really a big complaint. He didn’t think of it as a flaw, so he had no intention of telling him to fix it. For someone like himself who took care of everything, it wasn’t bothersome or unpleasant work.
No, he even welcomed it. It felt like his unchanging role was guaranteed.
Even though the hand stroking his hair should have been ticklish, Yoon Seowoo was still asleep. There were several reasons why he was sleeping more deeply than usual. The unfamiliar schedule, the considerable travel time, dinner with a large group, and the can of alcohol he had inadvertently consumed.
“Mmm…”
Na Jihan smiled as he poked the soft cheek of the tossing Yoon Seowoo.
“You didn’t even know you almost exceeded your alcohol limit, dummy.”
He did know that the alcohol content marked on the can was higher than regular beer, so he had intentionally eaten some of it. Of course, he wasn’t the type to cause trouble here and there when drunk, but busy schedules would continue tomorrow and the day after.
Still, this much was fine. Thanks to this, he would sleep soundly without fussing even with a changed sleeping place.
Na Jihan, who had carefully covered him with blankets, got up and headed to one corner of the room. He smiled and waved at the camera with its red light on, and even whispered secretly.
“Seowoo’s sleeping, so I’ll turn it off now. I’m going to sleep too. Goodbye.”
After turning off the camera and carefully putting on the lens cover, Na Jihan stood there for a while looking at Yoon Seowoo. His black eyes calmly settled as he stared at the white blanket rising and falling regularly.
“I wonder why…”
I know when it started, but I don’t know the reason. Na Jihan swallowed those words along with a sigh.
Sometimes when looking at Yoon Seowoo, he felt frustrated.
The first time he felt that emotion was around age 10. It was from when Yoon Seowoo’s mother passed away and they became temporarily distant during the time when he was having a hard time with inheritance issues. The disappointment and stuffiness he felt when his only friend, who wasn’t particularly talented at hiding things, avoided him.
He had thought they would naturally be together, he only thought about sticking with him, but the suspicion that maybe he didn’t feel the same way first sprouted and took root then.
He became anxious because there was no way to resolve it. If he acted according to his nature, he would have to pester endlessly, but he couldn’t do that because he didn’t want to be hated by Yoon Seowoo. The best he could do was earnestly hover around without being bothersome.
Fortunately, his relationship with Yoon Seowoo never broke. They were solid as Na Jihan had wished.
But that solidity wasn’t complete. What he thought he had built well over time had been shaken again recently. When their paths diverged over agency contracts and idol debut, Na Jihan felt that old emotion resurface.
‘…You contracted with UJ? Why? You auditioned for Midnight’s open audition. That’s why I auditioned too.’
‘It just happened that way. You passed, right? Congratulations.’
‘Are you serious? Does a startup company provide proper care? Are you sure you can debut? Why didn’t you wait for Midnight’s results…’
‘…’
‘Think about it once more, Yoon Seowoo. That’s…’
‘Jihan. I think this is right for me. Let’s do our best in our respective places. That doesn’t change our relationship.’
‘You think it’s best for you and me to be apart?’
Was he acting like a 10-year-old who had his beloved toy taken away because his body had grown but his heart hadn’t fully matured? Na Jihan thought so.
He put on airs he didn’t mean, worried that Yoon Seowoo, who had matured early, might dislike his childish behavior. Right. It should be fine even if groups split up. Besides, it’s not like you stay with one agency forever – he could persuade him well during re-contract season. For now, let’s pretend it’s okay.
Fortunately, things worked out well. More than well – it was dramatic. A vacancy opened in the group, and Yoon Seowoo came in like a puzzle piece that fit perfectly. It was the best luck possible for Na Jihan.
Now I won’t have to be anxious like a child over you. You’ll always be within reach when I turn my head, within grasp when I extend my hand.
But even so, the stuffiness didn’t disappear completely. The emotion that had flaunted its presence and touched his nerves whenever Yoon Seowoo moved away was still there even when he was close, which he hadn’t expected.
It wasn’t that he disliked it or felt uncomfortable, but why on earth.
When feeling frustrated like this, it was better to move his body. Getting some fresh air outside made distracting thoughts disappear.
Na Jihan casually put on a coat and carefully left the bedroom. Since it was close to bedtime, he planned to just walk around the garden in front of the accommodation a little and then go back in at the right time.
He would firmly suppress and organize the troublesome emotions, then just enjoy the benefits. If he lay close to the sweetly sleeping Yoon Seowoo and closed his eyes, he wouldn’t envy anything in the world.
Just as he was thinking that and had just come outside the pension.
“Hello.”
Along with the clinking sound of metal, a reddish light flared up in the darkness and then disappeared.
Behind the lighter’s flame was a face he knew well, had passed by several times, and had even exchanged words with this evening.
“Did you come out to get some fresh air?”
It was Bae Dojin.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
