Chapter 54
Part 2. The Imperial Palace
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- Growing Affection
The journey there took over a month, but the return trip required only four days. Yun-seo burst into hollow laughter at the absurdity of this contrast.
The Yongrim were truly remarkable beings. They could effortlessly carry a large palanquin with a person inside, running without the slightest wobble. They took turns, constantly rotating to maintain their pace, while Yun-seo merely had to rest when told to rest, eat when told to eat, and sleep when told to sleep.
How pathetic and foolish he must have seemed—trying desperately to flee a distance that could be covered in just four days. Everything had been within the palm of His Majesty the Emperor’s hand all along.
During those four days, Hwi hadn’t shown his face even once. Though Yun-seo knew well that the Son of Heaven who governed the nation had been absent from his post for over a month and had no time to spare for him—though he had promised himself he would no longer harbor any expectations toward Hwi—grief still pierced his heart like an arrow.
How dare he nurture such presumptuous and extravagant feelings toward His Imperial Majesty? Yun-seo mocked his own now-pitiful heart as he gently closed his eyes and reopened them.
Before long, he felt the Yongrim slowing their pace. Soon the palanquin was lowered gently to the ground. When the door opened, he saw the main house of the residence he had so desperately wanted to escape. The household members were gathered there, waiting for him.
Yun-seo stepped out of the palanquin with the indifferent expression of an old man worn down by life’s hardships. Nevertheless, when he spotted Yeondeok standing apart from the other household members, fidgeting anxiously, a corner of his hardened heart seemed to collapse.
He felt joy at seeing him again, relief, remorse, and pain. A flood of emotions crossed his mind, and sobs welled up from deep within him. However, when his father approached, barely suppressing his fury, Yun-seo had no choice but to collect himself.
When they were apart, he had only felt concern and remorse toward his father, but now face-to-face, he felt nothing special. Was it because he was such an unfilial son? Or was it truly because the familial bond had been severed? Yun-seo clasped his hands together and bowed his head.
“Have you been well? As your son, I can only apologize for the trouble I’ve caused you and Mother.”
His father, unable to stand still even for a moment, stomped his feet in place and looked behind Yun-seo. The sounds of the Yongrim retreated one by one as they appeared to be withdrawing.
Meanwhile, Yun-seo noticed piles of silk, fur, and tribute boxes stamped with the imperial seal in a corner of the courtyard. He fidgeted with the bracelet on his left wrist. Though he wanted to take it off immediately, this was not a gift from the Emperor. It was from his ‘Hwi.’
“Come inside.”
His father commanded through gritted teeth before turning and entering the main house. His mother and Wongyeong followed, while Yeondeok cautiously trailed behind Yun-seo.
“Have you lost your mind?!”
The roaring rebuke reverberated even before the door to the main room was fully closed. Since this wasn’t unexpected, Yun-seo quietly lowered his eyes. His father approached until they were face-to-face, pointing and trembling with uncontrollable rage.
“How could you do such a thing? How dare you try to destroy this family…!”
His father raised his hand, as large as a pot lid. Since this wouldn’t be the first time he’d been struck, there was no reason to be particularly shocked. Yun-seo silently waited for his father to vent his anger, but instead of hitting him, his father, breathing heavily, suddenly slapped Yeondeok, who was standing behind Yun-seo.
“Father!”
With such force that Yeondeok collapsed sideways, Yun-seo flared up in anger, shielding Yeondeok and confronting his father with narrowed eyes.
“Why do you strike an innocent child?!”
“You shameless wretch—you nearly ruined the entire So family, and you have the audacity to—! If the Emperor hadn’t shown us mercy, we would all be dead. Do you even realize that?”
So Baek-guk clenched his fist as if he wanted nothing more than to kill his son right then and there. His face, flushed with bulging veins, grew hideously fierce. Yun-seo bit his lip and glared back defiantly at his father.
“When you enter the palace, you must devote yourself completely to ensuring that the Emperor’s boundless grace descends upon our family. That’s the only way you can atone for your sins.”
He glared at Yun-seo with eyes burning with rage before turning away. After ordering the servants to maintain strict vigilance, he stormed out, leaving the room frozen in a cold silence.
With his father gone, Yun-seo could relax a little, but when his eyes met his mother’s, his fingertips curled inward. She looked him over with complicated eyes before sighing.
“I’m relieved you’re not hurt… but it’s truly difficult to secure a proper empress position for this household.”
She approached Yun-seo, embraced him lightly, and then left.
Amidst indescribable despondency, Wongyeong’s contemptuous gaze pierced him. That disdain, more painful than his father’s fury or his mother’s ambiguous indifference, tore Yun-seo’s heart to shreds.
“We raised you with such indulgence, and this is how it ends—with you abandoning your family and running away.”
“…”
“You should have at least stayed captured.”
He had thought his ties with his family were severed, that he had no expectations left, but apparently, that wasn’t the case. So who could he possibly blame? Throughout the palanquin ride, Yun-seo had pinched his fingertips, which were already red and swollen from being picked at, but the physical pain couldn’t overcome the anguish in his heart.
Wongyeong glared at Yun-seo before leaving the room, as if he couldn’t bear to face him any longer. As soon as the door closed with a loud sound, Yun-seo knelt beside the fallen Yeondeok.
“Yeondeok, are you alright? Hmm?”
Yeondeok’s cheek was already swollen and red. Unable to even touch it for fear of causing more pain, Yun-seo was frantically worried when Yeondeok suddenly grabbed his hand.
“Young master, you were too cruel.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. Because of me, you’re like this…”
“Where the needle goes, the thread follows. You said you would take me with you, but how could you leave alone?”
Understanding the direction of Yeondeok’s reproach, Yun-seo’s fingers curled inward. Before Yeondeok, Yun-seo was a complete sinner, with no defense even if he had ten mouths. Yun-seo barely managed to lift the corners of his lips as he clasped Yeondeok’s hand.
“I’m sorry for leaving you behind. But now I’ve returned in such a state, I don’t have the face to look at you. I was always worried about you—whether you were doing well, whether you were being mistreated by my father…”
“I’m just glad you returned safely.”
Encountering Yeondeok’s characteristically bright and pure kindness after so long, tears threatened to burst forth, and Yun-seo bit his lip hard. Yeondeok carefully examined Yun-seo from head to toe, checking for any injuries or ailments, before smiling sorrowfully.
“Truthfully, I had hoped you wouldn’t return.”
“…”
“That you would fly away safely, as you had longed to do…”
Yeondeok embraced Yun-seo as if holding a small child. Yun-seo, clutching Yeondeok’s sleeve, trembled violently before finally bursting into tears. His bitter, mournful sobs filled the room until he nearly drowned in the sound of his own weeping.
So Yun-seo, who had struggled desperately to escape the fate that had struck like lightning when he was just an innocent child, had finally fallen back into the yoke. Now, there was nowhere left to run.
* * *
A magnificent palanquin waited in the courtyard for its master. Adorned with auspicious reliefs of dragons and phoenixes, it was draped with knots and tassels. Ceremonial flag bearers surrounded it on all sides, their presence so imposing that it overwhelmed the surroundings.
Yun-seo stared at the palanquin with an expressionless face. It seemed like only yesterday that he had left the shrine and boarded a palanquin—indeed, it was hardly an exaggeration to say it was just yesterday—and now he was performing another wedding procession. It was truly laughable.
After paying his final respects to his parents, he boarded the palanquin. Though this imperial sedan chair was clearly larger and steadier than the previous one, it felt unbearably uncomfortable. Somehow feeling nauseated, Yun-seo closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.
As he tried to calm himself, painful questions burst forth like pus from a boil.
Why? Why? Why? Just why…?
Why hadn’t Hwi revealed the truth when they first met? If he had simply taken him to the imperial palace immediately, Yun-seo wouldn’t have trusted or loved him, and wouldn’t be suffering like this now. And for what? To win the heart of a Yeong Chunhwa? For His Imperial Majesty, who could have anything with the mere movement of a finger?
What tormented Yun-seo most at this moment wasn’t the fact that he was heading to the imperial palace, having lost his freedom. It was that he could no longer trust the heart of Hwi, the man he had adored so deeply. Had Hwi’s heart ever existed in the first place?
It had always been Yun-seo who spoke of love. Looking back, Hwi had only ever agreed to his questions, never actually saying he truly loved him.
Yun-seo let out a hollow laugh. Hadn’t Hwi himself mentioned it? That the Yongrim only begged, kissing the feet of the Yeong Chunhwa who alone could feed them. Hadn’t history proven what the Yongrim were capable of doing to obtain a Yeong Chunhwa?
So what wouldn’t they do? How easy must it have been to look at someone adoringly and offer them sweet caresses?
Despite his desperate struggle to escape, he had ended up right back where he started. He was now heading to the palace not as Jang Deok-yun, nor as Hwi’s ‘Yun,’ but as a Yeong Chunhwa. What Hwi had wanted wasn’t So Yun-seo, but merely a Yeong Chunhwa.
*Gonwi: The position of empress. National Institute of Korean Language, Standard Korean Dictionary.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
