Chapter 99
Ju-on clicked his tongue briefly, flicking the handle of the mug with his finger as he glanced at the door of the room where Hyeon-woo was sleeping.
“…So that’s why you called me? To look after him again while you’re gone?”
“Yes.”
“I’m pretty sure I told you I like him.”
“……”
Facing the silent Tae-geon, Ju-on deliberately said more provoking words.
“Is it a lack of wariness towards a rival?”
“……”
“Or am I that easy to you? What if I do something bad to him while you’re gone? Why did you call me?”
“Because the Kwon Ju-on I know isn’t that kind of person.”
Tae-geon looked directly at Ju-on with an unwavering, firm gaze. It was a look directed at the human Kwon Ju-on, not at a rival. I know you won’t mistreat Hyeon-woo. That certainty and trust was conveyed. With his ears turning slightly red, Ju-on turned his head away, avoiding Tae-geon’s eyes.
…How annoying.
“Tch. I’ll charm him with my appeal, so don’t cry when he’s taken from you later.”
Ju-on hastily gulped down the coffee on the table and coughed.
“Ugh! Hot! Both you and him are so annoying! You know?!”
“……”
“I’m not some babysitter. This is really the last time.”
As Tae-geon smiled bitterly at the grumbling Ju-on and reached for the mug on the table, it happened.
Crash-!
The mug, knocked by Tae-geon’s hand, fell to the floor and shattered with a loud noise. Startled, Ju-on jumped up from his seat and approached Tae-geon.
“Are you hurt? Move aside, I’ll clean it up.”
Tae-geon, with a tired expression, rubbed his face. This wasn’t the first cup he had broken like this.
Several times a day, his vision would flicker black, and often it would blur as if covered in frost. It was common for his depth perception and focus to be subtly off. Just now, when he tried to grab the handle, he touched the edge of the cup instead, causing it to fall under the table. What used to happen occasionally the day after a rut was now lasting for quite some time.
He rubbed his tired eyes with one hand. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept properly. His vision was blurry and he felt fatigued. He tried squeezing his eyes shut and then opening them, but his clouded vision refused to clear.
The loud shattering sound from the living room finally woke Hyeon-woo from his deep sleep. As Ju-on returned after taking out the broken glass shards, Hyeon-woo, coming out of the room, greeted him.
Ignoring Tae-geon standing nearby, Hyeon-woo ran straight to the entrance and hugged Ju-on tightly with both arms.
“Whoa, why so sudden?”
Ju-on, his waist embraced, showed an awkward expression as he glanced at Tae-geon. He tried to detach Hyeon-woo, but as if in defiance, Hyeon-woo clung to him even more stickily.
“It’s been a month. Why didn’t you come all this time?”
“……”
“I missed you.”
“……”
Ju-on looked down at Hyeon-woo’s round head with a troubled face. He didn’t remember anything about that day. It was as expected. Hyeon-woo had been unconscious then.
It seemed fortunate, yet also disappointing. Ju-on wasn’t unaware of Hyeon-woo’s intention to hug him in front of Tae-geon. It was deliberately meant to irritate Tae-geon.
Somehow, it left a bitter taste in his mouth. Nevertheless, Ju-on had no way to stop his heart from racing madly at Hyeon-woo’s warmth against him. Just as he was waiting for Tae-geon to separate him and Hyeon-woo like before, Ju-on closed his eyes tightly.
Hyeon-woo’s arms around Ju-on’s waist slowly loosened. Hyeon-woo took a couple of steps back from Ju-on. Ju-on opened his eyes slightly to assess the situation.
A pale Hyeon-woo was looking up at Ju-on. At Ju-on, whose cheeks and earlobes were flushed red, looking completely love-struck to anyone who saw him. At Ju-on, whose heart was beating so fast against Hyeon-woo’s ear that it seemed like it might burst his eardrum.
Like someone who had discovered something forbidden that they shouldn’t have seen, Hyeon-woo, who had been standing stiffly, ran into the room and slammed the door shut. Ju-on, with a dazed expression, headed towards the room after Hyeon-woo. Tae-geon, who had been staring at the door where the two had disappeared, leaned awkwardly against the opposite wall with his arms crossed.
“You, do you like me?”
Hyeon-woo’s sharp voice carried clearly to Tae-geon standing outside the door. As if expecting Ju-on to follow, Hyeon-woo asked the question with his head bowed low, without even checking who was behind him.
When there was no answer for a long time, Hyeon-woo finally turned around to look at Ju-on. With a face flushed red, Ju-on bit his lips several times before finally opening his mouth, looking straight into Hyeon-woo’s eyes.
“Yes.”
“……”
“I like you.”
At Ju-on’s confession, Hyeon-woo felt as if something that had been piled up in his chest was crumbling down. This was the identity of the strange sense of déjà vu he had felt when he hugged Ju-on’s waist.
The familiar déjà vu he felt from Ju-on’s rapidly beating heart and reddening face when he touched him.
It was exactly like himself when he had been in unrequited love with Tae-geon.
“…Why… why…”
Hyeon-woo continued with a tearful expression, stumbling over his words.
“Why me of all people…”
“……”
“Don’t do this, Ju-on.”
“……”
“Don’t like someone like me.”
At that moment, the air around Ju-on turned cold. Unaware of Ju-on’s eyes turning icy cold, the pale Hyeon-woo mumbled repeatedly, stumbling over his words.
“Don’t give your heart to me. You’ll only get hurt. Don’t even start.”
He kept muttering the same words like a madman in a trembling voice.
Don’t love me. Don’t like me. Don’t do this. Ju-on. You’ll get hurt. Don’t like someone like me. He was saying it to Ju-on, but Ju-on wasn’t reflected in Hyeon-woo’s eyes. It was like self-hypnosis directed at himself, who believed he couldn’t be loved by anyone.
“Stop it.”
Despite Ju-on’s attempt to stop him, Hyeon-woo’s monologue wouldn’t cease.
“…Stop it!”
Ju-on grabbed Hyeon-woo’s shoulders firmly and shouted.
“It’s my feelings! It’s my heart whether I like someone or not. Starting it, ending it, it’s all for me to deal with. Even if I get hurt because of these feelings, it’s all my share to bear.”
“……”
“So don’t you dare speak so recklessly.”
Ju-on’s stern gaze stared directly at Hyeon-woo. It was a steady and firm gaze without a hint of wavering, as if he was determined not to deny his feelings anymore, even knowing it would hurt. Rather than Ju-on, it was Hyeon-woo who felt cut by Ju-on’s upright eyes staring back at him.
It was different from his cowardly and weak self who couldn’t even confess to Tae-geon for fear of getting hurt.
Don’t love me. Don’t like me. Don’t do this. You’ll only get hurt.
He knew that the words he had uttered to Ju-on were actually the reality of the anguish that had hurt him more than anyone else, trampling on his own heart. The more he tried to strangle and suffocate the uncontrollable growing emotion towards Tae-geon out of fear, the more he felt his own windpipe being choked.
Knowing full well how painful it is to have one’s heart denied and trampled on before it even has a chance to bloom, he was about to repeat that cruel act to Ju-on.
Hyeon-woo shuddered briefly. Not content with trampling on Ju-on’s noble feelings by telling him not to even start, he had almost used those feelings for his own revenge.
An unbearable self-loathing overwhelmed Hyeon-woo. He couldn’t hold back the tears that were about to burst. He really felt like he had become a monster.
As Hyeon-woo lay face down on the bed and started crying silently, Ju-on quietly left the room. Hyeon-woo’s intermittent sobs leaked through the door crack. Tae-geon’s expression was filled with despair as he ran a hand over his face.
Hyeon-woo’s jewel-like eyes, glinting with heterochromia, used to cry out to Tae-geon to cherish him. The gaze of Hyeon-woo touching his back used to beg him to look back. There was a time when Hyeon-woo’s every exhale, the air surrounding him, every strand of his hair fluttering in the wind silently screamed at Tae-geon to please love him.
He pretended not to hear those desperate cries.
Don’t love me.
Please don’t do this, Hyeon-woo.
The moment those words, which he had uttered countless times to Hyeon-woo, burst out of Hyeon-woo’s mouth, Tae-geon felt as if something that had been supporting him crumbled all at once. The arrow he had shot returned as a burning boomerang, tearing and burning his heart.
‘Don’t like someone like me.’
That single sentence from Hyeon-woo, filled with self-loathing, hurt terribly.
As Tae-geon buried his face in his hands, he heard the sound of the dead omega bursting into laughter, his mouth torn wide.
Hahahahahaha-!
The omega’s ghost, suddenly protruding from Tae-geon’s shoulder, stretched its neck long like a snake, bringing its face close to Tae-geon’s.
How are you any different from me?
You’re just the same as me.
That child hates you as much as you hate me.
Just as I am to you, you too are the same kind of existence.
…No. It’s different.
Tae-geon shook his head.
I am different.
He lifted his head from his hands. Tae-geon’s bloodshot eyes gleamed bizarrely.
“I am absolutely not the same as you.”
