Chapter 212
“The one who died in an accident instead of me…”
Hyeon-woo paused painfully before continuing.
“It’s Jamie’s child. She was a Korean omega at the facility where I volunteered.”
Tae-geon’s eyes flashed with recognition, remembering the name Hyeon-woo had mentioned during his confession on the cliff.
“Just… watching that child’s belly grow… It felt strange, and I was happy along with it.”
Hyeon-woo’s face turned bitter as he gazed into the distance, reminiscing about the past. He didn’t mention that Jamie had been the same age as he was when he had carried Tae-geon’s child.
“Jerome was born at the facility where Jamie stayed. McRae was the one who brought me there then. He also gave Jerome his name.”
Tae-geon’s expression was bemused as he listened. Hyeon-woo continued:
“Even after Jamie died, Jerome was left without even a birth registration for a long time.”
“…”
“When I finally tracked down Jerome’s biological father, he handed me a strand of his hair containing DNA and suggested I leave the US with Jerome forever.”
Hyeon-woo clenched his fist tightly, seemingly overcome with anger at the memory.
“I couldn’t… I couldn’t leave Jerome alone in such a cold and cruel place and return to Korea by myself. Jerome, who lost Jamie because of me… How could I…?”
A deep sense of guilt washed over him.
He remembered Jamie’s joyful face as she showed everyone the newborn Jerome, saying this child wouldn’t be lonely like her.
He couldn’t turn his back on Jamie and Jerome and return alone.
Hyeon-woo’s eyes grew moist as he tightly closed them before opening them again. Feelings of loss, frustration, and guilt simultaneously swirled and stirred his painful spots.
“That’s what Jerome means to me.”
Hyeon-woo finally revealed everything about Jerome to Tae-geon – his salvation that pulled him out of despair, his reason for living, and the subject of lifelong atonement, as important to him as his own life.
Hyeon-woo’s eyes were filled with intense sorrow and anguish as he looked at Tae-geon.
“Until Jerome becomes an adult, until the day comes when I can tell him the whole truth, until my atonement is complete, I can’t tell you that it’s okay.”
“…”
“Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to face my parents and Jamie…”
A heavy silence fell between them.
Hyeon-woo, who had been staring blankly at the floor with his head down, slowly raised his head as he felt the warmth of someone gently brushing back his fallen hair.
Tae-geon slowly stroked Hyeon-woo’s hair with eyes that seemed to now understand a little of the weight of guilt Hyeon-woo had been carrying. Then he kissed Hyeon-woo’s forehead.
Hyeon-woo felt more comfort from the warm breath and touch than a thousand words could provide. It felt like Tae-geon was tenderly caressing a wound that had festered without healing. Tears welled up again. As Hyeon-woo bit his lip to hold them back, Tae-geon’s soft voice seeped warmly into his ears.
“Give me everything you’ve been carrying.”
“…”
“It’s all my responsibility. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Hyeon-woo bit his lip hard, feeling like he was about to burst into tears.
Why are you making me out to be such a harsh person until the end? How can you say such things to me when I said I can’t forgive you…?
Swallowing his sobs, Hyeon-woo said:
“No, it’s my share. I’ll take responsibility for Jerome until I die.”
“Then do it with me, until we die.”
“…”
“I have responsibility too.”
At those words suggesting they atone together for the rest of their lives, the tears Hyeon-woo had been holding back finally burst forth.
In Tae-geon’s embrace, which held him preciously as if shielding him from the world’s harsh trials, Hyeon-woo felt an overwhelming surge of sorrow.
Strangely, tears kept flowing even though he had never cried like this before, even when faced with greater despair and frustration.
He had always been alone. It felt like he was facing piercing loneliness, holding Jerome in his arms and pushing through a dark, thorny thicket with no end in sight. He had to keep walking endlessly, not even knowing if he was going the right way. If he stopped for even a moment, he felt like the guilt chasing him would devour him.
If he hadn’t met Tae-geon, would he have been able to properly atone for this heavy sin he carried on his shoulders?
Without ever knowing the truth about the accident, without being able to clear his parents’ name, he might have had to wander through the thorny thicket with no exit until he died, with a heart burned black.
He felt as if the inexplicable void somewhere in his heart was finally being filled. He thought that the atonement that had seemed so distant was now finally becoming complete.
The countless times he had struggled to push away the person he loved as much as he hated. It felt like the whole world was urging him not to love Tae-geon. Nevertheless, Hyeon-woo strongly embraced Tae-geon, whom he couldn’t help but love again.
He buried his face in the intense, pounding heartbeat directed at him. And then he poured out everything inside him until all the sorrow and resentment knotted in his chest was washed away.
*
Hyeon-woo, who had fallen asleep after crying all night, was in terrible shape. The whites of his eyes were all red with burst blood vessels, and his eyelids were so swollen that his double eyelids had completely disappeared, making them look like sausages.
Hyeon-woo, who had been icing his eyes with an ice pack brought by Tae-geon, suddenly laughed. He couldn’t help but chuckle, thinking he might look to others like someone who had just been dumped.
They had a late breakfast and checked out. After leaving their luggage at the front desk, they went outside. There was plenty of time before their evening flight.
At Hyeon-woo’s suggestion, they visited several large mansions near the coast that operated as galleries. It was a small hobby of the local wealthy to display valuable collections in ultra-luxurious mansions with beautiful gardens and show them off to the public.
Afterwards, they had a late brunch at a nearby cafe and then took a walk on the beach under the pouring sunlight. The surface of the undulating sea sparkled with broken sunlight.
Tae-geon, who had bought bottled water from a convenience store, handed one to Hyeon-woo. Hyeon-woo opened the cap, which seemed to have been loosened by Tae-geon beforehand, and moistened his throat.
Whoosh-
The waves came in with white foam, gently wetting the sand before receding again.
As Hyeon-woo walked on the soft sand, he saw a large shadow cast at his feet. Slowly moving his gaze to its source, he saw Tae-geon standing there, blocking the hot sunlight and casting a shadow over him.
At that moment, a familiar sense of déjà vu strongly flashed through Hyeon-woo’s mind. Suddenly remembering something he had forgotten, Hyeon-woo stopped in his tracks and turned his head to look back at the path they had walked.
Their footprints stretched from the horizon of the beach all the way to where they stood, in parallel strides. As if they had been a pair from the beginning.
He remembered that summer when he was twenty, walking on the beach with Tae-geon, feeling the wind, the waves, and the sand crumbling under their feet, looking back at such parallel footprints for a long time.
The page of life that he had bookmarked to unfold again anytime, but then locked away to avoid opening even by chance, was now unfolded again.
Standing still and blankly staring at the footprints they had left behind, Hyeon-woo’s heart swelled with warmth.
Where would these footprints, which had become a pair again after going around a long way for a long time, head now? Would they safely reach that place where eternity was promised, without parting again?
A fateful reunion after overcoming harsh and painful trials. Thinking about the life that would have remained forever incomplete if he hadn’t met Tae-geon, somehow that non-existent future became hard to imagine.
With reddened eyes, Hyeon-woo turned his head to gaze at Tae-geon’s back as he walked ahead. Feeling the gaze on his back, Tae-geon stopped and turned to look at Hyeon-woo.
Their gazes intertwined in the air for a long time. The salty sea breeze scattered their hair in all directions.
Hyeon-woo thought that Tae-geon’s face, approaching him step by step, looked terribly sad at this moment for some reason. His gaze, even more intense than usual, was directed at Hyeon-woo with a longing and passionate look, as if looking at something he had missed desperately for a long time.
“…Looking at my back from behind is now forbidden.”
Hyeon-woo couldn’t bring himself to ask why as Tae-geon said this with a painfully anguished face while tightly grasping his hand.
Buzz- Buzz-
At the timely vibration sound, Hyeon-woo took out his phone from his pocket. Seeing Aunt Kyung-ae’s name on the screen, he quickly pressed the call button.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
