Chapter 207
“You know, that accident actually happened because of me. It occurred while they were making suppressants for me because I manifested as an omega. It’s all my fault. So I’ll atone even harder. I’ll repent and make amends for Tae-geon’s share too. I’ll raise Jerome to be an excellent person. So… couldn’t you forgive Tae-geon? Just once, please forgive him just this once.”
Hyeon-woo’s head dropped as he endlessly begged towards the unresponsive void.
A heavy sense of guilt weighed on his heart. He found it unbearable to feel so shameless, making such a brazen request to everyone to forgive him.
Why does loving you always have to be so painful?
He was still in pain, just like in his childhood when he caused countless fights between his mom and dad by not giving up on these feelings, and now after losing everyone.
He knew it wasn’t Tae-geon’s fault. Just as he hadn’t known that his kindness in sending Jamie to the dinner in his place would lead to such results, Tae-geon also couldn’t have predicted that the new drug he developed out of goodwill towards him would lead to such a disastrous outcome.
However, regardless of understanding Tae-geon, he couldn’t help feeling immensely guilty about his feelings for him in front of everyone.
Hyeon-woo couldn’t lift his head, feeling like a shameless person who appeared to beg for forgiveness with impure motives, without even properly uncovering the truth behind the unjust deaths.
The calm wind started to blow again. Hyeon-woo’s hair fluttered gently in the breeze. The soft wind, neither harsh nor fierce, caressed Hyeon-woo’s head gently like a mother’s touch.
Hyeon-woo’s eyes reddened at the touch that embraced him as always, despite his selfishness and inadequacy.
His father’s passionate confession of gratitude for illuminating his life, his mother’s embrace declaring him an irreplaceable existence, floated hazily in his heart. A terrible longing pierced his heart.
How could he have forgotten this tenderness? How could he have foolishly trembled in fear, thinking such parents would punish him?
It made his heart ache even more. The guilt towards his parents tightened its grip on Hyeon-woo even more strongly. He couldn’t even utter a word asking for forgiveness anymore.
He had to give up. That was the right thing to do.
…He knew. He knew it in his head…
But when Tae-geon’s face, begging him not to go, appeared before his eyes, an indescribable pain swept over him as if someone was squeezing and twisting his heart.
The sound of crashing waves mixed with the wind, bringing a distant echo to his ears. That echo sounded like his mother’s voice, gently asking as she stroked his head while he lay in bed one night.
‘Does Hyeon-woo like Tae-geon that much?’
He remembered strangely clearly how he had answered, and even his mother’s bitter smile, as if she couldn’t help it.
Hyeon-woo, with reddened eyes, lifted his head towards the blowing wind. Then he gave the same answer, unchanged to the last letter.
“…Yes, I do.”
I like Tae-geon so much.
That’s why it hurts.
…What should I do? What am I supposed to do?
Hyeon-woo’s face looked miserable as he sought an answer towards the distant place where the wind was coming from. But the sky remained silent, and both the sea and the wind were utterly quiet. This silence pained Hyeon-woo’s heart more than any rebuke or scolding could.
How can I be with you while carrying this pain in my heart?
I can’t. We shouldn’t be together. It’s not for you and me. We can’t be connected.
As Hyeon-woo tried to pull himself together, a gentle breeze brushed his ear again. His mother’s question once again rippled across his heart. Hyeon-woo barely swallowed the tears that were about to burst forth, comforted by everything around him that seemed to embrace his anguish calmly, like his mother’s touch that smiled as if she couldn’t help it.
After composing himself, he picked up the lily he had placed on the ground and stood up. Tae-geon would be waiting. Just as he was about to turn away, Hyeon-woo was greatly surprised by the person blocking his path.
“It’s been a while.”
McRae, in a black suit and holding a white lily, stood before him.
Seeing Hyeon-woo’s eyes widen in surprise at his unexpected appearance, McRae spoke again.
“Hello?”
Finally calming his surprised heart, Hyeon-woo responded.
“…Hello.”
“Thank you for letting me hear your voice. I thought I might be seeing things.”
“…”
“Have you been well?”
Hyeon-woo nodded in response and asked, “And you?” “Me too,” McRae replied, then glanced at Hyeon-woo’s reddened eyes.
“You’ve already heard the news? That’s fast. It just happened yesterday.”
“Huh?”
“About the accident, it was ruled as not guilty in the retrial… Don’t tell me, you didn’t know?”
McRae became flustered as well, seeing Hyeon-woo too shocked to breathe.
“Well, I guess it is surprising.”
“…”
“About a month ago, there was an accident where a car battery exploded in this area.”
Battery…?
Suddenly, Tae-geon’s voice from last night’s half-asleep conversation flashed through Hyeon-woo’s frozen mind. Something about battery performance.
Hyeon-woo covered his mouth with both hands, incredulous.
It was Tae-geon. Choi Tae-geon must have done it.
“W-Hyeon-woo!”
McRae shook Hyeon-woo’s shoulders, who seemed out of it. Only then did Hyeon-woo’s unfocused gaze return to McRae.
“Tell me more, in detail!”
Hyeon-woo urged McRae, as if possessed by something. McRae pulled up an article about the incident on his phone and handed it to Hyeon-woo.
“The car owner sued the mobility company. In the process, your parents’ accident was also brought up. Because of that, public distrust in electric cars spread, causing quite a controversy.”
“…”
“In the process of proving the battery performance, it was revealed that previously submitted test results had been fabricated. They say the braking system and overall body of the car had already been critically damaged. Moreover, a few days ago, a cruise ship was discovered in Japan…”
McRae stopped speaking mid-sentence.
“…Well, this part isn’t certain… Anyway, I was really surprised when I heard the news yesterday. How could such a coincidence happen? And just a day before Maya’s birthday at that.”
…It’s not a coincidence. It’s what Tae-geon did to clear my parents’ name.
Tears welled up in Hyeon-woo’s eyes as if his heart was overflowing.
“It’s been over 5 years since the incident. They probably can’t catch the culprit now, but just the fact that it’s been proven not to be your parents’ fault seems like a miracle and makes me so happy. That’s why I came here to tell you the news.”
“…”
“And I ended up meeting you like this.”
McRae smiled at Hyeon-woo, his eyes crinkling.
“I used to come here often around this time. I could never make it on the exact anniversary. As you know, the game season is at the end of the year, so I only had time around now.”
McRae’s gaze was drawn to the lily in Hyeon-woo’s hand. He thought the white, frail flower suited Hyeon-woo well.
“I thought no one else would visit except me. This place was too harsh and cruel for you to come back to. So I occasionally came in your stead.”
“Thank you.”
“…It’s nothing.”
McRae awkwardly ran his hand through his hair. Among the ash-gray strands flowing through his fingers, faded blonde hair sparkled sparsely like stars.
“Maya was important to me too.”
“…I’ve always been grateful, not just for today.”
“…”
“I left without properly thanking you, and that’s been weighing on my mind.”
“Me too.”
McRae smiled faintly at Hyeon-woo, who had lowered his head.
“I kept thinking about you, who probably had no one to warmly embrace you in lonely and difficult moments.”
McRae turned his gaze back to the horizon beyond.
“When I returned after the game, Blue Door, you, and Maya had all disappeared like a midsummer night’s dream. You don’t know how much I resented you. And only later did I hear about the accident.”
“…”
“It hurt my heart to hear that you had failed at investment immigration and returned to Korea. I hated myself for resenting you without knowing anything.”
McRae’s gaze returned to Hyeon-woo.
“If I had known that night we parted would be our last, if I had known it would be my last memory of you, I would never have created such a last moment with you.”
McRae’s eyes, as blue as the sea, were tinged with deep regret.
It took a while for Hyeon-woo to recall which night McRae was talking about and what their last moment had been like. He belatedly remembered his shameful past when he tried to have a meaningless relationship with McRae to forget Tae-geon.
He felt sorry for McRae, who, unlike himself, had carried that moment in his heart for so long, while Hyeon-woo could barely remember it now.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
