Chapter 175
“Can you tell me when the surgery will be finished?”
He answered while collecting the full blood pack.
“It’s difficult to give a definite answer yet, but it won’t take much longer. We’re almost done, so please wait a little more.”
“…Ah.”
“You can stay lying down here. You might feel dizzy because we took a lot of blood.”
After the staff member left the room, Hyeon-woo tried to get up but swayed as the room seemed to spin. His head was dizzy and he felt nauseous. Changing his mind about getting up, he lay back down as advised.
How far had Tae-geon’s surgery progressed? Had Jerome’s fever gone down? His already complicated thoughts felt even more confused. Hyeon-woo closed his eyes, trying to push the thoughts away.
A while later, when he came out to the hallway again, it was evening and the sun had set completely.
Hyeon-woo fidgeted with his phone in his hand, glancing at the operating room nervously. He wanted to hear news from either side quickly, but contrary to his wishes, the current silence from both sides felt like the calm before a storm.
He had asked to be contacted if anything happened to Jerome, so he tried to reassure himself that no news was good news. Just then, he saw Scott approaching him from a distance.
“Ian, come and have dinner.”
The evening menu was seaweed soup, probably because they’d heard he had given blood. Scott urged him to eat a lot, but he could hardly swallow anything.
Buzzz- Buzzz-.
His phone in his pocket vibrated. He quickly checked the screen – it was Mrs. Kyung-ae. His heart sank.
“Hell-”
Hyeon-woo couldn’t finish his greeting. He could hear Jerome’s piercing cries through the receiver. Jerome’s sobs, even gasping for breath, made Hyeon-woo feel like he couldn’t breathe.
“Hyeon-woo, it’s auntie-”
“Daddy! Daddy, why aren’t you coming? Why aren’t you coming to get Jerome…?”
Jerome’s sobbing could be heard behind Mrs. Kyung-ae’s voice. His voice was hoarse from crying so much, sounding raspy.
“Jerome, your daddy said he’ll come get you later. Let’s wait a little more, okay?”
Mrs. Kyung-ae’s efforts to comfort Jerome were in vain. Jerome’s tear-filled voice hit Hyeon-woo’s eardrums through the phone.
“Daddy! Daddy…! Jerome did something wrong…. Daddy. Don’t abandon Jerome….”
Jerome’s desperate plea made Hyeon-woo’s heart drop to the floor.
Don’t abandon him…? Why are you saying such things, Jerome?
His mind went blank. The dizziness that had subsided came back in waves. Mrs. Kyung-ae’s voice brought Hyeon-woo back to his senses as he gasped for air, clutching the phone.
“Hyeon-woo, can you hear me? Hello?!”
“…Yes, yes. I’m listening. Go on.”
His voice trembled terribly as he responded.
“He fell asleep after taking medicine earlier, but he just woke up? When he saw it was dark outside, he started crying and throwing a fit. He seems very anxious because you haven’t come to get him yet. Will you be much later?”
Hyeon-woo fumbled with his phone to check the time. It was already two hours past when he usually picked up Jerome. Being sick and with his dad not coming at this late hour, he must have been very scared and upset.
“He’s even developed a rash, maybe from crying so much. His fever won’t go down. Hyeon-woo, come quickly, okay? I’m scared something might happen to Jerome.”
Even as she spoke, Jerome’s sobbing gasps could be heard in the background.
“I, want to go, to daddy’s house, auntie. I want to go, to daddy’s house. Okay…?”
Jerome’s desperate plea made Hyeon-woo’s heart crumble.
Daddy’s house…? It’s our house. Our house where Jerome has his room. Since when did it become just daddy’s house?
With a choked-up voice, Hyeon-woo barely managed to speak.
“…Auntie, can you put Jerome on the phone?”
“Okay, just a moment.”
Soon after, Jerome’s voice calling “Daddy?” could be heard.
“Jerome, it’s daddy.”
“Daddy…!”
Jerome burst into loud sobs at the sound of his voice, making Hyeon-woo feel like he might cry too. But knowing that if he showed weakness, it would only increase Jerome’s anxiety, Hyeon-woo tried to comfort Jerome in a steady voice.
“Why are you crying like a baby? Our Jerome is a brave five-year-old, right?”
“……”
Usually, Jerome would have sniffled and responded with a “Yes,” but there was no answer. Hyeon-woo’s heart sank. He called out to Jerome in a trembling voice.
“…Jerome?”
“Daddy, when are you coming…?”
Relieved to hear Jerome’s voice again, Hyeon-woo spoke in a gentle, soothing tone.
“Yes, daddy will be there soon.”
“When?”
“I’ll be there in a moment.”
“When…?”
“…Soon.”
“……”
Unable to give a specific time, Hyeon-woo kept repeating the same thing, and Jerome stopped asking. Feeling uneasy at this unfamiliar behavior from Jerome, Hyeon-woo clutched the phone tightly. Jerome, breathing heavily as if struggling, said through his sobs:
“…Da, ddy is a liar.”
“No, Jerome. Daddy will be there soon-”
“You said, it would only be four nights…. You said it wouldn’t be, five nights. It’s night now, and it’s been five nights. Liar…!”
Hyeon-woo desperately clung to Jerome’s tearful words.
“Jerome, no, wait! Just a moment, listen to daddy, okay?”
“I don’t want to…! Liar, daddy is a liar!”
“Jerome, daddy-”
“You hate Jerome now! Because Jerome played with blocks alone, and didn’t eat, the rice balls daddy made… That’s why you hate Jerome.”
“No, Jerome!!”
“If Jerome isn’t there, daddy’s hands won’t get hard. Not like stones…. That’s why you abandoned Jerome. If Jerome is gone, daddy won’t hurt anymore…. Jerome just needs to be gone….”
Incoherent words poured out of Jerome’s mouth, delirious from the fever. Hyeon-woo’s face turned pale.
“What are you saying, Jerome?!”
“…Ugh! Uwegh…!”
“Oh my! Jerome!!”
Jerome’s retching and Mrs. Kyung-ae’s screams mixed together in chaos. Hyeon-woo’s vision flashed white.
“Hyeon-woo, this is bad. I wonder if there’s an open hospital now, should we go to the emergency room?”
Jerome’s continuous retching could be heard behind the aunt’s panicked sobbing. It was maddening.
“I’ll stop by the hospital now and then go to your house, so if you finish work in the meantime, come there instead of our house. Understand?”
“……”
“Snap out of it! Han Hyeon-woo!!”
When the stunned Hyeon-woo didn’t answer, Mrs. Kyung-ae shouted sharply. This brought Hyeon-woo back to his senses, and he managed to say “Yes.” The aunt repeated the same thing once more before ending the call.
Beep- Beep-.
Even as the end-call tone sounded, Hyeon-woo couldn’t put down the phone.
He couldn’t gather his thoughts, feeling like a shipwreck swept away by a huge current.
Jerome’s voice saying he had been abandoned kept piercing his mind.
He hadn’t noticed Jerome’s anxiety. He hadn’t sensed anything was wrong until things had gotten this bad. He had only thought that maybe Jerome’s “terrible fours” had finally arrived.
‘If Jerome is gone, daddy won’t hurt anymore. Jerome just needs to be gone.’
No, no, Jerome.
How could such a small head think such things, say such words? The more he thought about it, the more stunned and heartbroken he felt.
He remembered the day he had been terribly sick before quitting the logistics center. Jerome’s face, crying and begging him not to be sick, flashed before his eyes.
Was it from then? Had Jerome blamed himself even then, thinking it was his fault that daddy was sick? Had he felt guilty about the calluses on daddy’s hands? Is that why he thought I had abandoned him? Did he really believe that if he was gone, daddy wouldn’t be in pain anymore?
Hyeon-woo’s pale hand clenched into a fist anxiously.
How could you think such things, Jerome? How could I ever abandon you…
He hadn’t given Jerome any assurance or trust. This realization tormented Hyeon-woo.
He thought everything was fine. He believed that spending more time together on weekends would make up for not meeting during weekdays, and that it would be beneficial for Jerome too. He hadn’t realized how much Jerome’s emotions were shaken.
He hadn’t known anything until Jerome’s distrust, fed by his anxiety, had grown this large.
Hyeon-woo realized his decision had been naive. At the moment when Jerome needed his parent’s embrace the most, he had become an absent presence.
Something was going terribly wrong.
Back in the hallway, Hyeon-woo fidgeted incessantly with his phone. He looked quite unstable, constantly checking the time without letting the screen turn off and repeatedly glancing at the closed door of the operating room.
Hyeon-woo felt like he was standing in a maze with no exit. He could only pace helplessly in place, unable to do anything.
It was then, as he kept alternating his blank gaze between the operating room and his phone, that the door of the operating room finally burst open and sweat-drenched medical staff poured out.
Author: Hyacinthus B
Hyacinthus
