Chapter 100
*
Following Dr. Jung Ui-hyeon’s instructions, Tae-geon lay down on a thin, long platform. The special suit that clung tightly to his entire body revealed the perfect contours of his flawless, firm physique.
With a whirring machine sound, the platform Tae-geon was lying on slid into a donut-shaped tunnel similar to an MRI scanner.
Drip, drip.
Listening to the sound of the IV drip, Tae-geon closed his eyes in the dark tunnel. He had to spend 72 hours in here.
The new drug to be released would not only effectively suppress the heat cycle but also neutralize the resistance reaction caused by dominant Alphas. The time was approaching for the invisible shackles on Hyeon-woo’s ankles to be removed.
“Ugh…!”
As the electrodes attached to his nerve points sparked stimulation, it directly hit his erogenous zones all at once. Every time pleasure surged up his spine, his muscles twitched involuntarily. Although it was bearable compared to a rut, he instinctively felt disgust at the artificial stimulation that accurately targeted specific points.
As his genitals reflexively became erect and pheromones surged throughout his body, the tiny tentacles inside the special suit that clung tightly to his skin began to writhe and started collecting pheromones in earnest.
Tae-geon gritted his teeth, enduring the nauseating sensation. He could certainly withstand this level of disgust. He had resolved to do whatever it took, by any means necessary, if only he could restore Hyeon-woo, whom he had broken with his selfishness and obsession, back to his original state.
If only he could go back to before all this disaster started. If only he could bring back Hyeon-woo, who was as bright and warm as the spring sunshine, Tae-geon could do anything.
‘Because I love you!!’
“Urgh-!”
It felt like his eyeballs would pop out. The veins and bones in his clenched fists bulged grotesquely. As Tae-geon groaned through his teeth, Ju-on’s confession rang in his ears like tinnitus.
Lying still, unable to move and focusing on the stimulation, the memory of that day would occasionally cut through his unconscious like a sharp blade, more painful than the physical distress of having his pheromones extracted.
The sense of loss and helplessness from that night when he had no choice but to let Hyeon-woo, who ultimately rejected his touch, be embraced by Ju-on, clung to Tae-geon like an inescapable despair, eating away at him. The hellish moments of having to blankly watch Hyeon-woo moan at Ju-on’s touch, watching the two of them, replayed over and over in his mind.
Love. Love. Love.
The same word echoed repeatedly, disorienting Tae-geon’s thoughts.
He felt like he would go crazy wanting to keep Hyeon-woo by his side, wanting Hyeon-woo to look only at him. That immature obsession and possessiveness were about to break Hyeon-woo as well.
‘Have you found someone you love….’
Just before dealing with Se-jin, the attending physician injecting the rut stimulant had asked that. His answer to that was strangely vivid in his mind.
He had said it wasn’t necessary. That he was just unlucky.
‘Isn’t that what they say in academic circles too?’
‘So don’t dwell on it anymore.’
‘It’s not necessary for me anyway.’
…Just unlucky?
Tae-geon, who had been panting, smiled bitterly.
He had been craving Hyeon-woo from so far in the past that he couldn’t even remember when it started. It would have been stranger if he hadn’t imprinted on Hyeon-woo. The fragments of emotion he had been secretly harboring, careful not to let them leak out, had piled up and up, becoming an uncontrollable mass of desire.
Without even realizing it himself, it exploded in all directions the moment he took Hyeon-woo’s body. He didn’t care at all about where this insatiable greed was rushing towards. All that mattered was that Hyeon-woo was by his side.
But not anymore. Hyeon-woo’s happiness was now more important and desperate than anything else. A strange, unfamiliar feeling, different from his past obsession and selfishness.
Tae-geon could no longer deny the true nature of this emotion.
It felt as if the curtain that had tightly bound his eyes and ears, preventing him from seeing or hearing anything, had finally been lifted.
‘My beloved baby!’
‘Ah, my baby… my beloved Alpha!’
Love.
That’s not love.
He had almost fallen for such a cheap trick.
He had almost ruined something precious with his own hands.
He wouldn’t be swayed by his will anymore.
Tae-geon clenched his teeth tightly.
*
“…Sor…ry…”
A faint voice reached Ju-on’s ears as he sat cross-legged on the floor, engrossed in a video game. Hyeon-woo, who had come out of the room, stood awkwardly with his hands clasped, and spoke to Ju-on again.
“I’m sorry.”
Ju-on’s hands, which had been operating the controller, paused for a moment at that voice before moving quickly again. His eyes, fixed on the monitor, began to waver erratically.
“…What are you sorry for?”
“……”
“What is it.”
“……”
“Am I being dumped right now?”
“……”
Ju-on’s handling of the controller became rough. Under his irritable gestures, a screaming friction sound came from the buttons. Unlike his noisy hand movements, Ju-on’s character, who had been helplessly beaten by the opponent’s fists, finally collapsed onto the cage floor. With the referee’s appearance, the game ended as the K.O. message appeared.
“I lost.”
Ju-on, who had tossed the controller aside, stood up. The ‘RESTART’ message blinked several times, but there was no answer or correction from Hyeon-woo to Ju-on’s question. Passing by Hyeon-woo, who remained silent, Ju-on headed to the kitchen and scratched his head as he lifted the lid of the electric rice cooker.
“Oh right, we’re out of rice.”
“……”
“Let’s just go out to eat. We’ll do some grocery shopping too.”
Ju-on dragged the hesitant Hyeon-woo outside and handed him the coat he had been wearing. The spring sun, full of sunlight, warmly shone on the two of them, but the wind was still cold.
When Hyeon-woo didn’t take it, Ju-on forcibly draped the jumper over Hyeon-woo’s shoulders and zipped it up to his neck. Unable to put his arms through the sleeves and locked in, he couldn’t move at all. Hyeon-woo, who had been fidgeting irritably, kicked at Ju-on’s sneakers.
“Are you not going to unzip this?”
“……”
“I’m asking nicely, unzip it.”
Hyeon-woo’s face turned red at the glances from people watching them. Ju-on, who had been giggling while looking down at Hyeon-woo, raised his hand to cover Hyeon-woo’s eyes.
“What are you-!”
“Actually.”
“……”
“I thought I’d never hear an answer to my confession…”
“……”
“Well, it wasn’t a confession expecting an answer anyway.”
Ju-on’s low voice scattered above Hyeon-woo’s forehead. At the serious tone, Hyeon-woo’s struggling stopped. He felt as if Ju-on’s hand resting on his eyes was trembling slightly. Hyeon-woo listened to Ju-on’s voice penetrating his blocked vision.
“It’s a decision you made listening to your heart, not your head, right?”
“……”
“If you rejected me for some other reason.”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“……”
“There’s no other reason. I only thought about my feelings for you. I thought about it seriously and made this decision after careful consideration.”
“……”
“I just… can’t see you as more than a brother…”
“…I see.”
The large palm covering his eyes slowly fell away. Although he knew it might hurt, Hyeon-woo honestly expressed his feelings for Ju-on without pretense. Once he realized these feelings were genuine, he couldn’t ignore them or use them for revenge against Tae-geon.
Hyeon-woo opened his eyes and looked up at Ju-on. Contrary to his expectation of a pained expression, Ju-on’s face was surprisingly normal. No, he actually looked relieved.
“Don’t regret it later.”
“……”
“Do you think it’s easy to find a boyfriend as great as me?”
“…What are you saying.”
“Give this back.”
Ju-on took back the coat he had put on Hyeon-woo himself. Feeling Hyeon-woo’s gaze looking up at him with a dumbfounded expression, Ju-on pretended not to notice and ostentatiously zipped up the coat before quickening his pace. He could hear Hyeon-woo almost running to catch up behind him.
He couldn’t understand why he felt so proud despite being rejected. He felt like some kind of inadequate pervert.
‘I only thought about my feelings for you.’
Somehow, the look in Hyeon-woo’s eyes as he said that seemed a little different from before. They weren’t the eyes of a soulless corpse anymore. He could clearly feel Hyeon-woo’s heart that had seriously contemplated the confession.
Yes. Listen to what your heart is saying. Don’t be swayed by anything else. Live the life you want, the life you dream of.
Don’t destroy yourself by being bound to an irreversible past. I hope you stop suffering. Because you deserve to be loved enough.
I’d be even happier if that start was because of me.
Under the cloudless blue sky, sunlight poured down through the cherry blossom branches that had begun to bud like popcorn. As he walked in the brilliantly shattered sunlight, Hyeon-woo thought that Ju-on’s back view looked particularly dazzling today.
