“Ha… This is driving me insane.”
“Why, you don’t feel anything?”
Jun irritably tossed the sheet aside, climbed out of bed, and walked straight toward the kitchen. The outside lights cast shadows between the muscles of his bare upper body.
When he opened the refrigerator, the darkness around him lit up. He grabbed a can of beer he’d bought earlier at the convenience store and cracked it open like he was venting his anger. Only after chugging for a long while did he finally pull the can from his lips with a sigh.
Through the living room window, a faint red light blinked atop a distant high-rise. Just like that dim light, his own instincts felt far away and faint, and irritation kept surging up. The man who had followed him out late wrapped his arms around Jun’s bare back from behind.
“Don’t rush it. But Jun, wouldn’t I make a pretty good owner?”
Despite the teasing tone mixed into the man’s words, Jun just kept drinking without replying. Then he wiped the moisture from his lips and looked down at him.
“You can’t even get mine up, yet you’ve got big dreams.”
“Jun… Maybe it’s just impossible for you at this point—”
A crushed beer can flew past the side of the man’s face. It was thin aluminum, but the clang as it hit the sink and dropped to the floor was loud enough.
“You didn’t get me hard, so pay back the seven million won. Get out.”
Beer he hadn’t finished spilled across the floor, but Jun ignored it and went back into the room. He returned holding the man’s coat and tossed it down at his feet.
“Hey! I still tried—at least give me a discount!”
“If you leave within ten seconds.”
Before the words had even finished, the man hurriedly snatched up his clothes.
In terms of appearance alone, this man was far more sensual and alluring than Du-seon. And yet… Why?
Jun pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers, easing the tension around his eyes. Sometimes he’d felt stimulated when Du-seon spoke in a commanding tone, but yesterday had been the first time he’d shown real signs of an erection. Considering he’d been completely unresponsive before, that alone was a huge improvement.
Recently, he’d been releasing his sexual urges through linking in the game Blood Planet, but maybe because it was only an indirect experience, something always felt lacking. He drank water to quench his thirst, but it only made him thirstier—like drinking saltwater, it left him craving more.
“Then… I’ll get going.”
While Jun rubbed his eyes for a long time, the man came into view again, already dressed in his coat and smiling. Jun jerked his chin toward the door. As the man slowly walked that way, he asked again how much of the debt would be forgiven.
Jun followed behind at a leisurely pace and only reached the entrance once the man had finished putting on his shoes and opened the door. He shoved him out without answering, and the man asked anxiously one more time.
“Can’t you just let this slide? Huh?”
“…Fine. I’ll cut you some slack.”
After pushing him outside, Jun spoke generously just before shutting the door.
“Pay back six million nine hundred thousand instead of seven. And don’t come near here until you’ve got the money.”
Bang!
Even as the door slammed shut, he could see the man standing there in a daze.
“Ha…”
Jun had hired that man while searching for a way to fix his erectile dysfunction. But despite the rumors, no matter how many times they tried, nothing worked. Worse, the man had even pretended to be his lover and drained the card Jun had entrusted to Du-seon.
At one point, the man had suggested figuring out his preferences in detail. When Jun mentioned having an interest in a master–servant dynamic, the man asked if he meant a DS relationship. Jun had said he wasn’t interested in SM play like that—he only needed mental control. So the man told him to make him his slave instead.
But unfortunately… Jun’s preference was to be the one receiving orders.
At that, the man’s face had lit up with delight as he confidently declared he’d become Jun’s owner. You? My owner? Jun had only laughed at him.
This condition had started gradually two years ago, after his older brother left this place. It hadn’t broken suddenly like a snapped wire. At first, he’d been able to have a normal sex life—but as time passed, he found himself unable to get hard.
Was it because his heart never felt fulfilled, no matter how many partners he met? Like batteries slowly draining, the function had begun to fail. Only after it stopped entirely did he start looking back at the past.
What did I miss?
Thinking about his relationship with his older brother, Jun realized that the man had always given him orders, and Jun had followed him like a younger sibling. Living within that framework, he’d already become conditioned to that system of commands.
Then he remembered the last time he’d masturbated while thinking about his older brother. That memory clung to him like the final missing puzzle piece. Just in case, he’d even met people with similar appearances—but it didn’t work.
What am I lacking?
That single missing piece kept fueling his thirst.
Then one day, while stepping out of the building to smoke, he noticed a man lingering in front of his car. It looked like the man was trying to call him to move the vehicle, but he didn’t bother.
Before getting into the car, Jun flicked the lit cigarette toward a pile of butts on the ground. He figured he’d sweep them up anyway, so it didn’t matter much.
[Wait! Don’t throw it there.]
The tone was full of an unmistakable will to control him.
The moment their gazes met, that missing puzzle piece resurfaced. Could it be this? And aside from his parents, that man was also the first person to call him “Juni.” Yesterday, too, the man had pointed a finger at him and stopped him as he approached.
[Stop right there!]
Damn… I really thought I was about to get hard.
Shaking off his thoughts, Jun stood up and looked down at the bed with its tangled sheets. Then he picked up his phone from the shelf and sent Du-seon a message. He needed a more certain method.
[Let’s have lunch tomorrow.]
No reply came, but it didn’t matter.
He knew exactly where Du-seon would be.
***
“Hey, aren’t you going to work? I’m heading out first.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.”
I’d woken up earlier than Han-woo, but after finishing getting ready, I just sat on the sofa. Using coffee as an excuse, I blankly watched morning TV for an entire hour. It was just past 8 a.m.
Normally, this was when I’d be on the bus, but since Han-woo’s place was close to my office, I could leave later than usual. After Han-woo left, I watched a morning drama and started guessing the dialogue. Lines in scenes like that were always predictable. It reminded me of watching TV with Mom when similar scenes came on.
[Who do you think you are, going after my son?!]
[Son… keep your mouth shut.]
[Do you even think you’re worthy of my son?]
Crunching into an apple, I matched the words to the middle-aged actor’s lip movements. Mom used to shove apple slices into my mouth and warn me to please be quiet. Just as the female lead opened her mouth to say, “I understand what you mean,” I’d held myself back when I noticed Mom holding a fruit knife.
“Yep. I’m really good at this.”
It also reminded me of weekends spent watching TV with her. When we were in the living room together, the daytime news played on the screen, and I absentmindedly fiddled with my phone instead. As I stared at it, I heard Mom click her tongue.
[Tsk tsk. Drunk drivers should never be forgiven. How tragic… a couple died at the same time. What are their kids supposed to do now?]
At that, I lifted my gaze to the TV. Two cars that had crossed the center line and collided head-on were crumpled beyond recognition. It said the victims were a couple in their 50s—if they had children, they’d probably be around my age.
It reminded me too much of the traffic accident that had driven my father to his death, and I wanted to look away. Hoping Mom would stop watching too, I quickly changed the subject.
[Mom, aren’t you going to watch the singing contest?]
[Oh right. I should watch that.]
As the channel changed, the gloomy mood in the living room quickly brightened with the clear sound of a xylophone. Just like that, someone’s tragedy was briefly spoken of as a passing issue before disappearing like cotton candy.
“Ah, the time…”
The morning drama ended and commercials began—it was finally time to head out.
As I slipped on my shoes, I remembered the message Jun had sent yesterday. He’d asked to have lunch, but he’d probably just talk again about whether he’d gotten hard or not—updating me on the status of his damn “son.” The weird things he’d say were as predictable as drama lines.
Just like how a drama character goes to the hospital for something minor and suddenly finds out they have cancer, I felt like my life would change drastically if I had lunch with him. Even when I tried to shake off the worry, it wouldn’t leave.
With heavy steps, I finally rode the elevator down. The backpack on my shoulders wasn’t heavy, but my body felt weighed down like a thousand pounds. From Han-woo’s place, the subway was just as convenient as the bus, so I started walking toward the station.
Honk!
“…!”
Startled by the horn, I lifted my head from the ground. It seemed to come from a car I’d just passed, and when it sounded again behind me, I turned fully around.
A black car was parked there—the same one as that day. Before I could even process it, a long leg stepped out of the driver’s seat, and Jun’s face appeared. As he strode toward me, I backed away until my back hit a tree planted along the sidewalk.
“Why didn’t you reply?”
“Huh? Oh, I was going to later. But how did you even know I’d be here…?”
“Get in. You’re heading to the real estate office, right?”
“No, I’m not. I’m taking the day off.”
“Can you just close up like that?”
“I’m the boss. So… yeah, haha. Anyway, good luck.”
I circled around the tree and started walking quickly. Since he couldn’t reverse the car this way, I figured he wouldn’t be able to chase me further, so I practically sped off.
I heard him call out to me urgently from behind. Pretending not to hear, I hurried into the subway entrance. As I rushed down the stairs, my nerves must’ve gotten to me—I missed a step.
“Ah! Ah!?”
I reached for the railing beside me, but my hand didn’t catch it, and my body pitched forward. Just as I thought I was about to tumble headfirst, my backpack jerked sharply, and I landed on my butt instead. The impact forced a yelp out of me.
Still, it was a hundred times better than rolling down the stairs. Even though it was technically my fault for almost falling, I ended up blaming the person who chased after me. I stood up and glared at him. Jun stood two steps above me, making his already tall figure look even taller.
“Ha— Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Ow, ow… Why are you chasing me?!”
“Get in. I told you I’ll give you a ride.”
“No. Your driving makes me carsick. I like the subway.”
“I’ll drive smoothly. Get in. We need to talk.”
He was absurdly strong—when he grabbed my backpack and tugged, my body followed like a doll on a string.
“I have nothing to talk about with you!”
“How could you not? You’ve got an errand to run. Did you forget our deal?”
“W-what errand?!”
“You said you’d come change clothes today.”
Before I knew it, we were standing in front of his car, and the passenger door swung open. The comfortable leather seat looked more like a trap than an invitation. He tilted his head as if telling me to hurry up and get in.
“We’re really just eating and talking, right?”
“Yeah. Looks like you’ve been scammed a lot.”
Right—lines like that were exactly what scammers in dramas always said, mocking people for being cautious. As my back was pushed forward along with my backpack, I grabbed the car door and held my ground.
“Promise you won’t touch my body. Then I’ll get in.”
“Am I going to hit you or something?”
“No, just— anyway! Promise.”
“Fine. I promise. Now stop and get in!”
“If you keep pushing me like that, do you think I’ll want to?!”
“If we stay here any longer, I’ll get a ticket. You going to pay the fine instead?”
Sure enough, a parking enforcement vehicle was approaching in the distance. The fine would be almost a week’s worth of food money, so I clutched my bag to my chest and finally sat in the passenger seat.
